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Bloopers from Cupid Calamity
🕑 Added 2021-02-08 12:58:15 +0000 UTCSubtitle: The Roast of Satan
(Sub-Subtitle: Sorry, Clarence.)
"You know, Clarence, it's quite a feat that your combover manages to hide both your bald spot and your horns."
"Clarence, you oily fustilarian, do shut up."
"Clarence, I want to marry you solely for how much I would enjoy our acrimonious divorce."
"Sorry. I didn't hear you over the tortured shrieks and agonized howls of my soul that started as soon as I saw you enter."
"Oh, dearest Clarebear. How I'm going to miss your silly little sadism once I graduate!"
Objectively speaking, Clarence Garfield is not an unattractive man.
His features are even, if narrow, and you suspect that he might have a nice smile if he ever stopped scowling. But his personality is so noxious, so petty and cruel towards those whom he perceives as weaker, that his otherwise pleasant visage curdles until all you can see is that his ears are lopsided and the pores on his nose overlarge. Minute flaws, which would on anyone else go unnoticed or even add charm, dominate and corrupt his entire face. Not because of the flaws themselves, but because Clarence's spiritual odiousness makes you focus on his physical imperfections.
Comments
Mich
"You know, Clarence, it's quite a feat that your combover manages to hide both your bald spot and your horns." LOLOLOLOL
Jo O'Connor
I learned the word "fustilarian" from Shakespeare's Henry IV!
Maddy
not even Shakespeare could come up with insults as clever as these lmao
Katie Williams
Oh boy, given these are the rejects cue me rubbing my hands gleefully all eager for the kept ones (not that I wasn't unbelievably excited anyway haha) ๐
Jo O'Connor
Button is the protagonist and thus gets the best lines (because these are the edited-out rejects)!
Jo O'Connor
Clarebear gets his moment to shine. And that's all I'm saying for now.
Jo O'Connor
Why, thank you! I was suspended multiple times in junior high for ill-advised puns involving my teachers' names ๐
Katie Williams
oh wow, that last one is some quality 'anyone fancy some chargrilled Clarence?' ๐คฃ๐๐ป like daaamn, go off Jo and therefore Button~
Megs
You have such a talent for insults LOL
Riveringrio
Ah. The spotlight for Clarebear โจThe sweet enemies to lovers route or is he the Cupid?
