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Developer Blog: Home Sweet Home
🕑 Added 2021-02-20 00:28:58 +0000 UTCI’m still editing and debugging this next update, but will do my best to post it before midnight PST. I realize this is down to the literal last second of my promised drop date, but this last week has been . . . not as productive as I would’ve wished.
(Explanation at the bottom of this post. But let’s talk about the positive first! Because my life, and especially my writing life, has a lot of good!)
The Positive:
I’ve started keeping track of my words written, more for my own self-satisfaction than any logistical purpose. The tally made me realize how much this Patreon has helped me meet my writing goals. Seriously, thank you so much!!
Despite having encountered some personal setbacks in February, it’s still been a really productive month. It’s only the 19th, and I’ve already wrote over 36,000 words of fiction (and that’s not even counting deleted content, like Gray’s scratched Cupid Calamity route)!
I realize that wordcounts may not come across as all that exciting to everyone, but I find it’s a helpful way to keep track of my progress when it comes to IF. In a regular novel, I’d set my goals in completed chapters . . . but a single chapter in Mind Blind can be over 40,000 words due to the divergent pathways and choices. Which is a lot of writing without feeling like I’ve really moved the plot forward. So I’ve taken a more mathy approach to measuring my progress.
Here’s a rounded breakdown of what I’ve typed in February:
8,000 words: K’s route in Cupid Calamity
4,000 words: Patreon side stories (saucy, and the upcoming short)
13,000 words: Mind Blind Chapter 7. This update will bring the total playable wordcount to 207,000 words—I’ll post average playthrough length when I update the demo, since right now there’s too many coding bugs for me to do Randomtest and get an estimate.
4,000 words: Commission stories for Hero Zeroes. (I’ll be sending out everything out all at once sometime next week, to best keep track of fulfilled tier rewards).
7,000 words: Mind Blind’s intervention scenes for depressed Buttons, tentatively set to occur in Chapter 9. I wanted to have the scene laid out so I knew what Button’s negative thoughts were building to (I do a lot of achronological writing).
If you play as a Button who is deeply depressed (constantly having thoughts of deep self-hatred, feelings of worthlessness, etc.) then there will be an intervention by the characters you have the highest stat scores with. This is unavoidable, for two reasons.
The first reason is that I believe it’s important to have a support network when you go through a hard time. Button isn’t less of a heroic protagonist if they have depression—not to trivialize something serious (although I’m irreverent towards everything), but the “tormented hero” is a trope for a reason. Someone who’s able to deal with their own turmoil and still save the world is inspiring. But I think it’s unrealistic to assume that people do it alone. Nick, Gray, Sally, K, Glitch . . . even Rosy are there to support Button and either provide them with or get them help.
Please note that this isn’t saying that all dark thoughts = bad! Morbidity and Resentment level have nothing to do with triggering the depression stat. But Mind Blind lets you fall pretty far into the abyss.
The second reason for the intervention is pure pragmatism. Mind Blind’s plot places the main character in an extremely dangerous situation. Rosy and Gray (whoops, spoilers!) will not approve Button for risky undercover work if they continually demonstrate a disregard for their own life. That particular pathway would not end well, and I am a platinum-card member of The HEA Club.
And if your Button is the most emotionally stable human being in existence, then that’s equally awesome! The emotional welfare arc is completely optional—Buttons not on that path will get alternate, more lighthearted scenes with Nick and the ROS.
Now, in regards to my semi-absence from social media . . .
Warning: Real World Shit Ahead
This week, I found out that my condo building will likely be deconverted. If, like me, you’ve never heard of this process before, it essentially amounts to this: In Chicago, investors can buy old condo buildings, without the permission of all the condo owners. Not to demolish the building, but to rent out the units as apartments and turn a profit. My building is from 1904, but it’s in a great location (within walking distance of Harold Washington Library, The Art Institute, and “Aeon”/Willis). Only 85% of owners need to agree to sell for the deconversion to happen, and with the pandemic . . . well, a lot of people want to sell their condos right now.
I get it. People are working remote and moving away from cities. The building has a coin laundry because the pipes are too old for in-unit washers and driers. The freight elevator rattles at midnight. Everything creaks.
But I love my place, haunted pipes and all. It’s my very first permanent home (having spent my twenties working abroad), and the prospect of losing it has me dejectedly doomscrolling through real estate sites looking at apartments instead of writing. Worst case scenario: I lose my home of under two years and move back with my mom until I can find a new place.
My brother’s been without power in Texas for several days, however, which is helping me keep things in perspective because at least I still have a charged laptop to write on (any readers suffering through winter storms right, please take care)! Moving so much sooner than I planned will be disappointing, and the possibility has thrown me for an emotional loop which makes writing a little harder. But it’s not, nor will it be, the end of the world. I’ll be fine, and hopefully get another Patron mini-update for Mind Blind out on February 28!
Comments
Jo O'Connor
I live in Printers Row! (Which is the most appropriate place for a writer EVER, and part of the reason I love it so.) My building is old, but being so close to the library more than makes up for it. I hope you get to revisit Chicago someday--it's a great city!
Jo O'Connor
Thank you <3 I had never heard of deconversion before, so it definitely took me aback. But Mind Blind and its readers have been a source of incredible joy for me, and keeps me going!
Jo O'Connor
Worse case scenario, I'm stuck staying with my mom. And my mom's dog, whom I adore. So it's not all bad <3
Jo O'Connor
I'm so sorry you went through a similar situation! This week has been stressful, true, but overall, life has honestly been amazing since Mind Blind went public. The ability to do what I love, what I've always loved, means the world to me. Having so much positive in my life means that I can better bear the bad :)
Jo O'Connor
You. Are. The. Best.
Jo O'Connor
It is Chicago-Version Starry Night!!! That's so cool that you were able to paint your own version! Mine is a print. Since I've never lived in one place for a long time, I had a lot of fun finally buying art!
Jo O'Connor
Thank you so much! I've been pretty floored to learn that this was even possible. Adulthood has a lot of hidden clauses that no one warns you about lol
Jo O'Connor
I took 12 hours to sleep, so I definitely did!!
Jo O'Connor
I'm a very impatient individual, so everyone's kindness is truly inspiring <3
Jo O'Connor
It's been stressful, but I'm lucky in that I have family I can stay with :) Thank you so much for all your patience and kind support!!!!!
Cas
As a long distant lover of Chicago, your condo location sounds AMAZING and those circumstances really truly suck :( The little victories can add up and keep things feeling afloat when everything is creeping up, so be proud of those word counts!! 🥰
Iwona J.
It's so heartbreaking when I hear about stuff like this happening, it's a common practice where Iive too and had friends and family suffer because of it too. I hope you will be able to resolve the issue to your liking 😟 Keep safe, sending good thoughts your way and also so great to hear you still find it in your heart to write, so happy to see you making personal progress! ♥️
cinnerman
Sending all my love Jo. That sucks about your apartment :c hope you can find a place.
Riveringrio
I hope the apartment issue will be solved swiftly! I understand the feeling since I had it like that but please take care of yourself firstly and then think of the deadlines! I know keeping track of them motivates to work and finish things but we are here to support you and that includes us always staying patient! You already do so much, spoiling us. You deserve a life that only gets better🥺
Ignits
We appreciate your hard work and dedication sweetie but your well being is always the most important. Release dates can be postponed and it will not be the end of the world. Take a moment to rest, settle things in your life, relax and charge your batteries. No one will blame you for needing some time. Don't stress yourself out that "you need to release something RIGHT NOW". It's okay to be selfish sometimes. Take all the time you need. We will be here to support you no matter what 💗
Jas
Thank you for your hard work, as always. Mind Blind became my favourite WIP pretty quickly, and I always smile when I see an update. BUT I hope you won’t overwork yourself. I hope that your living situation will sort itself out in your favour pretty quickly. Now to the most important thing, is that Starry Night with the skyline of chicago? I painted a table last year with Starry Night and instead of the village, I painted my hometown in germany :D
Once again you never fail to impress us with you dedication! I appreciate the way you're handling the various situations in Mind Blind. As someone who also lost a home due to uncontrollable variables, I can imagine how you feel. And I'll be the millionth person to tell you that we would never expect you to push yourself when everything just feels like..."the suck". That being said, I admire your ability to seek the brighter side of things. Please take all the time you need to look after yourself and your family!
Take all the time you need!
Niamh
Do what is best for you and don't put too much pressure on yourself. We can wait if we have to!
Bi-stander
Oof, I've had living situations suddenly turn on their heads and it's the WORST. The lack of security causes some serious (totally reasonable!) anxiety, and I hope resolves well! I don't think anyone here (except maybe you) is going to be upset if life occasionally gets in the way of MB updates. We all want the best for you!
Let me pull a Glitch here and tell you, you're allowed to be upset over this! Even if it could be worse, even if your immediate family has it worse, your situation truly sucks and you don't have to pretend it doesn't. Someone else's broken leg doesn't mean your ankle fracture hurts any less. I'm sorry to hear about your condo and hope you find another place to fall in love with really soon. Just remember to take care of yourself! There's only one of you, and your fans will wait because they know your work is worth it :)
No worries at all!! Take your time and thank you for all your hard work!! Things are tough right now but it'll be okay! Also I really love how Button being depressed is gonna be addressed as someone who has spent her entire life struggling with mental health it's sorta cathartic seeing a character like that get the help they need, and it actually being talked about in a narrative? it's really refreshing and so good to see
