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Writer's Blog: Scenus Deletus
🕑 Added 2021-11-19 21:31:19 +0000 UTCFirst things first, the most recent demo has been updated so that Gray and Sally should now keep their lips reserved for only Buttons who reciprocate their feelings (assuming you accept Noh's offer--the other routes, I'll fix later).
As a writer, there’s perhaps nothing more disheartening than realizing you need to cut material. I spent hours writing this! There’s that one super funny pun that won’t work in any other scene! I spent hours writing this! Grayson and Sally deserve more screen time! I spent hours writing this!
In interactive fiction, this difficulty is compounded on by the natural desire to give all readers the same amount of scenes. But what I’ve come to realize is that, for some playthroughs, having that extra scene doesn’t add anything—in fact, it can weaken the impact of the scene prior.
Deciding not to include scenes is something that frequently happens, although I try to avoid talking about the deleted material because, honestly, talking about it makes me sad. (I spent hours writing this! Only to toss it in the trash.)
Writing time is never wasted; it’s time I actively practicing my craft, after all, and thus hopefully improving. And critical evaluation that leads to cut scenes ultimately makes for more enjoyable reading. But still. I spent hours writing this!
Scenes are easier for me to excise when I can admit to myself that the scene itself is flawed because my writing is bad—when it’s a problem with the trees instead of the forest. Usually, that just requires some lumberjack editing, and pruning a few paragraphs. Acknowledging that a scene shouldn’t be included at all is harder for me.
You’ve probably all guessed why I chose the topic of this week’s blog post: I decided to delete some scenes. Granted, these scenes hadn’t been posted in the demo yet—in large part because I already knew, deep down, that they weren’t necessary.
If Button rejects Noh’s offer in Chapter 14, it makes sense that the next scene will have either Sally or Gray reading their mind to make sure that Noh is no longer hanging around. This version (which I will finish once Noh’s whole plotline is complete) needs to be appropriately emotional—Button is likely either afraid, angry, or both, and their heightened reaction to Noh’s presence means that the scene where their friend/partner reassures them is (or should be, if I execute it properly) compelling.
This changes if Button accepts Noh’s help. In this case, the emotional weight of the chapter lies not with Button’s rejection and subsequent fear, but rather with the process of finding Nick. It involves a weird, pseudoscience mind meld, and the last three words of “you’re truly alone” reinforce the fact that not only is Nick gone, but the responsibility to find him resides solely on Button’s shoulders—and of course, there’s always that niggling possibility that Noh didn’t leave. That uncertainty heightens the tension, especially if the chapter then promptly ends.
And yet . . .
If Button is romancing Sally, having Sally check their mind after Noh’s help still leads to a sweet scene. It’s intimate, because the two are dating, and serves to further establish their relationship. Likewise, if Sally is staying at Nick’s house with Button, the two have a positive relationship. Sally’s brain bouncing still serves to give insight into her and Button’s relationship, which is no less deep just because it’s platonic. Button is alone, yes, but hey it’s a little brighter because they have Sally staying with them! Yay!
Likewise, the brain-check scene with Grayson is the establishing point for his romance route. Because, for the first time, there’s a real reason that Gray should be reading Button’s mind. Letting him do so is integral step towards Button ending up with Gray in the long-term, to the point where if you reject his offer, it cuts off from his romance path. (Gray won’t want to be with someone whom he needs to be constantly afraid of bumping into. This isn’t to say that Gray won’t respect Button’s boundaries and be willing to step back, but he can’t live in fear of reaching over their shoulder to grab the spatula while cooking together. Not that Gray would ever cook, at least not well, but hopefully you get my point.)
Although information in the scenes with Sally and Gray is reiterated (it needs to be, to at least some extent, to establish what the other characters are reacting to), I only vaguely summarize Button regurgitating what went down with Noh, with the goal of avoiding reader fatigue and not make you reread the same pertinent plot points. Because if I grow bored writing a scene, it’s highly likely that people will be bored reading it as well.
Without the emotional punch of either soulmate soulgazing with Gray, or Sally rallying Button as the ultimate ride-or-die, this post-Noh scene becomes reduced to reiteration. Gray reads Button’s mind while acting professional, because there’s no juicy half-decade crush to make him behave impulsively. And Sally’s romance scene, while sweet, isn’t so integral to her relationship development that it can’t be skipped by Buttons living alone and/or staying at the safehouse—especially since my attempts to get Sally to Button means diverting from the main plot, and only serve to weaken the urgency of the situation (which is to locate Nick).
Thus, I’ve decided to not include the scenes that weren’t working. There was a reason that I held them back, after all.
For the path where Button accepts Noh’s aide, Sally’s optional romance and friendship scenes will only trigger if she’s in the house with Button. Gray’s scene will be accessible only to Buttons who are pursuing him, but it’ll be accessible regardless of Button’s location what since it’s crucial to his romance route. For all other Buttons who go the mind-meld route, Chapter 14 will end with Noh’s departure.
Comments
S
Let's have a moment of silence for the romance scenes that could've been ⚰️ May they live in our hearts forever
Skippy Hugo
As Stephen King said, "kill ys darlings"
