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I'm Alive (And So Is My Mom!)
🕑 Added 2022-10-31 05:12:19 +0000 UTCCelebrations all around, because my mother recently completed her final chemo treatment! The doctors decided to end it a few months early due to how much she's struggled . . . which should provide some insight into why I've been so quiet this month. It's very hard to find designated writing time (let alone inspiration!) while being a fulltime caretaker. Thankfully, though, my mom is awesome even if she has been pranking me non-stop this month (as those on discord can attest given the pictures that I've posted). I'll be staying another month in Washington for her to get her energy back, and then I will be stealing her dog and returning to Chicago to write on my own computer.
(O! Dearest Computer With A Quiet Fan! How I Hath Missed Thee And The Golden Focus Thou Didst Provide!)
I'm super sorry for my silence for this month, and I'll be uploading a few short stories tomorrow (on top of everything, we've been having constant power outages lately, so stuff hasn't saved and I've wanted to weep). The good news is that things will only get better from here on out!
More excitingly: the Vengeance-Allied Ending for Mind Blind will be released in November.
The evil ending isn't the one I intended to release first, but it's the first one that ended up being 100% finished--I'm just reworking some of Boris's scene in Chapter 10 because it's important to really bond with the dude whose been driving Miss Daisy around, you know? (Miss Daisy being your brother, btw.)
But who is Boris? One of two new Vengeance members! Originally there were five new additions, but the chapter ended up so long (i.e. tedious) that I had to excise two. So now Boris and Juliette are the only new editions, and Juliette is saving her fabulous debut for the next update. All I'll say is that Telemetrists are terrifying and honestly writing Vengeance's ending has made me really thankful that they don't exist in the real world. (Sorry, Hope and Nick! I still love you two despite being grateful for your fictional nature.)
Anyway. Plans to get out the chapters for Mind Blind 2.0 were delayed by all the work I did on the Vengeance party while finalizing the Vengeance ending, but as apology, I've included some of Boris's intro scene below (complete with some coding so that you can get an idea regarding some the variation).
Spoilers ahead! (Major spoilers, seriously. Mind Blind's final chapter is directly foreshadowed.)
A lot of Boris's scene was rewritten today, so I haven't fully edited it yet (ergo, please beware of typos).
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Chapter 10 Excerpt
*if (heretoparty > 55)
“I suppose you should meet Boris.” ${Andy} casts a brief, dismissive look at ${Kent} before returning ${khis} attention to you. $!{Khe} leans in close (a little [i]too[/i] close) with a conspiratorial smile. “You’d get along with Boris. Other than Reese, he’s the best at making new recruits understand how dangerous Ments are and why they can’t be allowed to roam free.”
*if (Nover = false)
[i]Is ${khe} suggesting that we all wear collars and leashes?[/i] Nick demands tartly. [i]Because that’s too kinky for my tastes.[/i]
${Andy} waves over a man with a somewhat patchy and uneven attempt at “sexy stubble” as if he avoids looking at the mirror while shaving. You can’t tell if he’s in his early thirties or late forties—the heavy bags beneath his eyes are at odds with an otherwise youthful face.
“It’s my turn, then?” he asks ${Andy} with a sardonic half-smile. “You must really like the new kids if you’re exposing them to [i]me.[/i]” He turns to you, smile slipping. “I scare off most newbies, so ${Andy} only introduces me to the true believers.”
$!{Andy} scowls at him. “Don’t make us sound like a cult, Boris.”
“Aren’t we?” Boris asks.
Choice: “Cult? Nah. More like a cool secret society into which I want membership.”
${Andy} smiles at you, but Boris just sighs morosely. “The price of admittance is high,” Boris says. “For you, it cost a brother.”
*if (Nover = false) and (guiltyButton)
You flinch. Even if Boris’s accusation isn’t strictly true—Nick is still with you, in a roundabout way—it’s disturbingly akin to your own internal dialogue.
[i]But why would a member of Vengeance judge you for hurting me?[/i] Nick wonders.
*if (Nover = false) and (guiltyButton = false)
Is Boris alluding to Aeon’s bombing or Vengeance’s orchestrated kidnapping? Either way, you haven’t lost Nick yet.
[i]Nor will you,[/i] Nick thinks stoutly.
*if (Nover = true)
If only that were true.
[i]Love you too, ${sister} dearest,[/i] Nick thinks sarcastically [i]But why is a member of Vengeance judging you for Aeon’s bombing?[/i]
“Boris used to work for a nonprofit law firm that represented Ments who felt they were discriminated against,” ${Andy} says. “In return, a client murdered his brother.”
Boris winces. “That’s the SparkNotes version, at least. The full story is long and tedious.”
Choice: Nevertheless, I want to hear the long and tedious full story.
“The full story is that I represented an actuary who was terminated from his job,” Boris says. His voice comes across almost robotic, his expression shuttered. “It was a fitting position, given that the guy was a Precog, but he was relying more on his ability to see the future than actual number crunching to access risks.”
${Andy} clears ${khis} throat.
“Right,” Boris mutters. “The case doesn’t matter. I lost, anyway.” He smiles bitterly. “It was the first case that I ever lost.”
“The Precog decided to take revenge,” ${Andy} says.
“That’s not exactly how it happened,” Boris counters, looking conflicted. “From our very first meeting, the client treated me strangely. Refused to look me in the eyes, kept muttering under his breath about ‘evil deeds.’”
“Sounds like he had a vision about you,” ${Kent} comments.
“More like a hallucination,” ${Andy} says.
“The man was insane.” Boris shakes his head. “The vision that he claimed to have never would’ve come true had he not . . . But I’m getting ahead of myself.”
“The Precog figured out where I lived,” Boris continues. “I still don’t know if he followed me home from the trial or had a vision. Regardless, he staked out my house one night and waited for me to get back.”
There’s an edge of hysteria in Boris’s laugh.
“Would you believe that I was working late at the office?” he says. “On the goddamn Precog’s case, no less. I was reviewing if we could file an appeal regarding his wrongful termination.” He lets out another pained laugh. “While the Ment was plotting my, I was working my ass off trying to save his dumb desk job. Hilarious, right?”
Choice: I mean if I’m being completely honest, it’s not [b]not[/b] funny.
When Boris finally stops laughing, he wipes away a tear of . . .
No. Not mirth. Boris might be trying to hide his real feelings, but his lower lip is quivering and there’s a roughness in his words. You realize that Boris is only laughing to keep himself from breaking out into sobs.
*if (humorous > 40) and (depressed > 5)
He may fool others, but not you. Like recognizes like.
“I’m a twin,” Boris says. “This asshole—” he jerks his thumb at ${Andy}— “always tries to correct me when I say that. Tell me that I [i]was[/i] a twin, but he doesn’t get it. I don’t think that anyone really can unless they have a twin themselves.”
He inhales a shuddery breath.
“Milo stopped by my place that night,” Boris says. “It was the day before our birthday, and we’d always celebrated together. I didn’t think we’d be able to because he’d just gotten a new job in New York, but he flew to surprise me. Was getting our birthday cake from the trunk of his rental when the bastard stabbed him in the back.
“Not because he wanted to kill Milo, but because he thought it was me.”
*page_break
“I didn’t testify against him in court,” Boris says. “I couldn’t. I was a lawyer and knew what kind of questions his defense attorney would ask. Did I do anything to lead his client to believe I was a danger to others? Would I consider the death of future criminal to be murder or vigilantism? Could his client’s actions be justified? Was my brother . . .” Boris’s voice breaks.
“The Ment claimed to have had a vision where Boris detonated a bomb into downtown Chicago,” ${Andy} says. “No details about the type of explosion, mind you. Simply rambled on about—” ${Andy} uses ${khis} fingers to create air quotes—“‘his duty to protect the lives of innocents.’”
“The Precog was convicted for thirty years,” Boris says dully. “The minimum sentence. His lawyer managed to convince some of the jury that his client had foreseen me commit an act of terrorism, and thus my brother’s murder was no more than a tragic case of mistaken identity.”
“Boris’s murder, however, would’ve been fine." ${Andy}'s sarcasm is borderline caustic.
“I wish it had been me,” Boris says. “I wish it had been me every single damn day.” He shakes himself out of his contemplative state, his eyes meeting yours. “My law firm unilaterally decided that we should ‘amicably split’ since clients no longer trusted me. The week after they let me go, Vengeance reached out.”
“Reese could never turn a blind eye to such injustice,” ${Andy} says piously.
Choice: I feign a sympathetic expression. Given that Boris is now a member of Vengeance, the Precog was clearly onto something.
Too bad he shanked the wrong twin.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” ${Kent} tells Boris. From anyone else, the platitude would sound hollow, but ${Kent}’s expression and tone conveys a depth of understanding that goes deeper than mere politeness.
Boris nods at ${khim}. “And I yours,” he says gruffly.
Comments
Glad to hear your mom is doing well. 💕 cancer survivors unite! Congrats 👏🏽 👏🏽
I'm really glad to hear that your mom is done with chemo, I hope you both get to relax and have fun! ❤
Molly
I'm glad your mom is on the upswing from chemo. It's a tough roller coaster. And I really don't think you need to apologize for anything!!
Hwb
As cool as the update is, hearing your mother finished chemo is a highlight I'm happy for both of you
saarebasra
Glad to hear the good news about your mom. Hopefully, the next few months will be a lot less stressful for both of you. RE: Your Discord question. Potential ways to make Boris more relatable: - Include a tiny, silly detail contrasting the “tough guy” impression. For example, specify the kind of birthday cake Milo got for them. Maybe the type of cake they already ate as kids became a ritual (think: Mickey Mouse cake or the kind their mother used to bake for them), which would turn the entire thing more sentimental as the cake detail is directly connected to the deadly attack. - Tie Boris’s grief directly to Vengeance’s recruitment tactic. Instead of simply saying they reached out to him, why couldn’t they have recruited Boris directly from a grief support group or something similar? This would still make him a terrorist but we would clearly see the manipulative, underhanded way in which Vengeance approached him when he was vulnerable and only looking for help. Similarly, Vengeance could have posed as something completely different when they first reached out (think: Concerned Citizen for Norm Welfare, 1 Million Norms). That, at least, wouldn’t make Boris look like someone who simply, one day, decided that terrorism would be a cool new hobby. In this context, it could also be helpful to give us a timeline. The longer it took Vengeance to gain Boris’s loyalty, the more it would show that he was not immediately primed to become a terrorist. - Exploit the twin thing. Twins are said to have this very special connection with each other. How did the loss affect the felt twin bond? I was honestly expecting something more in line with this (for example, Boris comparing Milo’s loss to a phantom limb) after the comment about ${Andy} saying Boris “had been” a twin. Also, if we assume that Boris and Milo were identical twins (as is strongly implied), Boris could have refused to testify because his best line of defense would have consisted of throwing Milo under the bus: After all, could the Precog have been 100% sure that he was truly seeing Boris in his vision and not Milo? For one, this would be super tragic because Boris would have been unable to defend himself without besmirching his beloved brother’s memory in the process. Secondly, in my mind, it would be a good additional reason for Unity-skeptical/pro-Vengeance Buttons or even some of us readers to question Norm/Ment equality before the law. (Edit: Or is that what Boris means with “Was my brother . . .”?) - Characterize Boris’s loss by giving us more Milo details. Was he the “older” twin and organizing their birthday party was his typical way of taking care of Boris? Or was Boris the “older” brother who didn’t manage to keep Milo safe? If Boris was failing his younger sibling, that could also result in some sympathetic comments from Nick because, while he might have all the reasons to despise Vengeance, he is also an ever-worried older brother (depending on his Button relationship). - Elaborate on Boris’s reasons for working for a pro-Ment nonprofit if his current Vengeance allegiance constitutes a Face-Heel Turn. Did he have a true passion for defending Ments who were wronged by the system? It could make him more relatable because, clearly, as a former Good Guy the system also failed him big time, even if the way he deals with it is unacceptable.
Marcus Dewayne Randolph
Congrats for your mom
Shuris
Yay for your mom! 🥳 Hope she'll be able to rest well now.
