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Barbarian's Path to Multiversal Domination Chapter 14: Spinning The Block
🕑 Added 2024-05-29 12:28:01 +0000 UTCDennis saw a familiar sight...
The Battle of the Trident.
He no longer took a mere levy's body, emerging as himself in the midst of it all. The white light that came with his appearance blinded half a dozen temporarily. Naturally, his size and strange gear caught the attention of those around him.
He looked in the distance, seeing the dance between the Last Dragon and Horned Demon.
His lips turned into a grin as he drew both of his swords and charged forward.
SLASH. SLASH. SLASH. SLASH.
Dennis carved a bloody path through the lines of both armies, dashing forward madly.
"Who in Seven Hells is he!?"
"He's killing everyone!"
"Get out of the way, I'm not getting slashed to pieces!"
Some men began pushing back in desperation as they saw what awaited them, making way for Dennis to keep going. This led him all the way to the Ruby Ford where Robert and Rhaegar exchanged another bout.
"ROBERT!!!"
With an explosive step forward, Dennis leapt into the air like a predator that had found its prey. However, he had overjumped and found himself missing the mark completely. That didn't deter him.
"What kind of leap was that..." Robert muttered. Something like that wasn't human, surely.
"Is he one of yours?" Rhaegar questioned, having never seen Dennis before.
Robert glanced at Rhaegar. One of his? Like hell, he was thinking this was one of Rhaegar's men!
"FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!"
Dennis began chasing after Robert's horse, outpacing it and slashing its backside numerous times until it began to look like blocks of meat. Naturally, the horse perished from a frightening amount of bloodloss and Robert fell to the ground.
Dennis kicked off the horse and looked down on Robert, throwing down his warhammer.
"Pick it up."
Robert grabbed hold of his Warhammer and rose to his feet while Dennis took a few steps away. He was shocked to see that the mysterious warrior sheathed both of his swords and presented his fists.
Meanwhile, Rhaegar Targaryen was trying to comprehend what the fuck was happening. His attention was taken away by a couple of rebel levies, however, which he began cutting through with his lavish sword.
"ARGH!"
Robert swung his Warhammer, but Dennis perfectly evaded it and countered with an uppercut to the chin.
BANG.
Robert's jaw practically went with Dennis' punch, alongside his helmet.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
He began throwing a combination of punches that would make even Mike Tyson blush, each one more thunderous and lethal than the last. His soul had already left his body by the second punch... but Dennis kept going.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
When he was done... not much of Robert remained.
He looked like a minced combination of armour and human flesh.
Dennis didn't look satisfied, taking a deep breath.
"I am too strong for you."
He turned and looked around, watching as soldiers on both sides distanced themselves from him.
[Task Two Complete!]
[Gym Acquired!]
[The Demon Of The Trident (MAXED loyalty) acquired!]
The white light took him from the field, leaving everyone befuddled.
...
"I don't think we properly introduced ourselves." Grace smiled as she turned to Erina Nakiri. "I am Grace Mertvago, Queen of this domain. Even though that's not really my surname since Dennis and I aren't officially married - when we do get married, it will be."
"What do you want?"
"Me? I want my pookie bear to be happy, that's all." Grace kept her smile, raising a hand and touching the side of Erina's face. "You, my dear, can make him very happy in ways I couldn't. Really, all you have to do is cook when he requires it. Other than that... honestly, you could just go home until he needs you."
Grace observed the slightly hopeful look Erina gained, nodding.
"That's right - you don't have to be stuck in this awful place all the time. So long as you complete your duties when called upon, I don't care. That is, if Dennis agrees..."
"... And if he doesn't?" Erina questioned.
"We'll figure something out to make you happy," Grace spoke with a reassuring tone.
"You know, Dennis might look like a bat-shit insane sadist, masochist, fight-sexual and a man with no remorse for anything whatsoever on the outside... but he's a nice, sweet, and warm grizzly bear on the inside." Grace chuckled, waving her golden hair. "I mean, he's still all those things, but there's that little side of him that appreciates the people who love him for who he is."
"Sadly, that number is practically nonexistent. His nature always frightened those around him, who aimed to suppress him into something he was never meant to be. Despite being so remarkable; he could never find anyone on the same wavelength as him... someone who could understand and share his passion for battle."
"The path Dennis was always meant to walk was one of solitude, surrounded by nothing but the corpses of his slain rivals. No friends, family, lovers... just himself and a world that hated him for all that he was. It's all rather depressing, don't you think?"
"..."
"You don't understand either." Grace chuckled, shaking her head.
"While no one else may understand his true nature, I do. We were made for each other; which is why he will never find himself standing alone." Grace smiled, clapping her hands together. "Anyway, that's all for my Ted Talk. I hope you learned something about your new master. He should be coming back any minute now..."
Right on cue, Dennis reappeared.
"Oh, you're back pretty quick." Grace looked surprised.
Dennis looked at Erina, observing her displeased expression.
"What's wrong with her?"
"Oh, I don't know... she totally didn't see you slaughter a good hundred people, watch you chase after her car like a cracked out gorilla and eventually get tossed outside of the world she grew up in right into this place." Grace raised an eyebrow. "Jeez, you really have no remorse in your heart nor any human thought in your head, for that matter."
"Wasn't this your idea?" Dennis blinked, scratching his hair.
"I have no idea what you're talking about; I'd never kidnap someone." Grace put on a clueless expression. "Besides, if I had to kidnap someone, I'd go a more romantic, mutual route. I would approach her with my overwhelming charm, gracefully taking her by the hand into a world of pleasure and love. I suppose it would be eloping, minus the marrying part-"
"... I'm good at fighting; I love fighting." Dennis tilted his head with a confused look. "She's good at cooking, so shouldn't she love it too? Who cares where she does it?"
"Love for cooking?" Grace chuckled. "Maybe once in the past and later in the future... but as she is now? Not at all."
Dennis looked at Erina.
"Why not? If I could cook like you, I'd do it all day."
"You totally wouldn't have the patience for it." Grace laughed. "Anyway, how would you feel about letting her go back home for a while before you're hungry again?"
"Why would we do that?" Dennis raised an eyebrow.
"The girl needs time to get adjusted to this place - and you. I believe that she would be more satisfied knowing that there's light at the end of the tunnel, leading to her cooking improving. Besides, she hasn't completed her education at that school."
"I didn't need to go to a fighting school to get good at it," Dennis remarked. "I just kept fighting."
"So you're not letting her go?"
Dennis shook his head.
"Rarely are you that clingy." Grace chuckled, even though her insides were burning. "Anyway, I bet you aren't all that satisfied with your battle."
"I want to get the easy shit out of the way."
"Alright, alright..."
~
In the first timeline Dennis had invaded.
It had been two years since the Failed Rebellion, with King Rhaegar Targaryen consolidating his power. In this world, Lyanna received a maester's care during her pregnancy and hadn't died. In turn, their marriage was recognised, which led to Rhaegar having two queens - creating a strange dynamic.
He began to sing one of his favourites in the Great Hall, stunning all with his majestic voice.
"By the river where the waters flow, A levy stood with eyes aglow, A humble man with a quiet life, No one knew of his inner strife."
"But beneath the sun and clouded skies, A darkness brewed, a deadly tune, In peasant’s garb, with fists of might, A demon hid in broad daylight."
"Demon dressed in peasant’s armour, Rising up from the farmer’s honour, With fists of iron and kicks of stone, A dozen men fell, the rebel stag bemoaned."
"The call to arms, a common cry-"
BANG.
Dennis kicked down the gate, walking in like he owned the place. His long black hair flowed wild and untamed, matching his grin. His armour of Brutus was covered in blood, along with Blackfyre which dripped with a fresh supply.
He cut down the nearest guards, leading to the rest rallying against him.
"SEIZE HIM!"
The Kingsguard surged forth, led by Ser Arthur Dayne. Dennis, however, didn't look amused.
"Guess I kept the line of silver cunts going," Dennis observed, looking at Rhaegar. "You remember me?"
"... Where have we met?" Truthfully, Rhaegar had no idea.
"I saved your ass against Robert Baratheon. Though, I guess you wouldn't remember since I look completely different." Dennis grinned madly. "So... I'll let my fighting do the talking."
He sheathed his sword and started boxing the entire court. His maddened, masochistic, yet sometimes strangely graceful style struck Rhaegar almost immediately. Only one man used his fists and feet in such a way...
Ser Arthur, in all his skill, got knocked out.
Ser Barristan got kicked into a wall.
Left, right, left, right...
Dennis was catching bodies every second.
"Cease!" Rhaegar had seen enough, raising his hand. "What is it that you seek from this place?"
"Dunno." Dennis scratched his hair. "I sorta just have to be here for a little while, I guess. You got any strong people I can fight?”
“... Not nearly as strong as you, I fear.”
“Get me some food then.”
Everyone watched in shock as Rhaegar bent to Dennis’ request and prepared a banquet. Though, most of them lacked the foresight to see what would have happened if he did otherwise. A King’s pride was worthless before a demon that could tear him to pieces in the blink of an eye.
It looked tasty enough, Dennis wasn't one to be picky about looks…
But, when he had a bite, his body churned with disapproval.
“What is this garbage?” Dennis tossed the plate to the side like a discus, smashing it against a bystanding servant. “Tastes like dog shit mixed with grass.”
Rhaegar turned to the cook, raising an eyebrow.
“I-I… that was my finest dish, I swear it. I made no mistake-”
Dennis took another bite, and another, and another… hoping to capture that magic again. It was like falling from the highest of heavens, a perfect paradise to a barren mortal world that was full of filth. If Erina was a goddess in terms of cooking, the medieval chef was a clueless spider dipped in ink and thrown onto paper.
“Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting… ARGH!”
His body jumped as he leaned over and began vomiting everything right back into the plate.
“BLAAAYT!”
He slammed the table, shattering one of its legs just from the sheer force. Dennis then turned to the cook, who jumped from fear.
“Eat this shit.”
“EAT IT!”
He rose to his feet and grabbed him by the neck, dragging him to the table and pressing his head against the plate. The cook hesitantly opened his mouth and had some of Dennis’ vomit, feeling the urge to vomit himself.
“Does it taste good?” Dennis questioned. “I call it Le Dennis Speciale, my finest dish.”
“ARGH… VOOOUGHH!”
The cook vomited as well, to which Dennis shoved him aside. Rhaegar did well to hide his disgust but most of the court didn't exercise his restraint.
“This man is deranged… surely the food isn't that bad.”
“In my experience, the servant’s cooking was always delicious.”
“He is a deranged man with a strange taste, undoubtedly. I would surmise he prefers eating ants, insects and perhaps even the flesh of men…”
Dennis wasn't deaf - far from it. His senses were honed to the point that he could hear every little whisper if he wished. In turn, he looked at the one who brought him a most brilliant suggestion.
“I do.”
To demonstrate, he sliced the man’s head off and began eating it, one mouthful after the other. It was at that point everyone had a better idea of the kind of beast they were dealing with. Essentially… they shut their mouths.
“Uhm.” Rhaegar cleared his throat. “Is there anything else you might need?”
“Can you sing that song?”
Rhaegar agreed to it, singing ‘Demon In Peasant’s Armour’. Meanwhile, Dennis had a couple of drinks. He found it pretty catchy.
“Do it again.”
“Again.”
Rhaegar was being violated time and time again, yet he never defied Dennis for he knew that wouldn't end well. Soon enough, he'd return to his home (wherever that was) and this would be no more than a passing tide… or so he thought.
“Demon dressed in Peasant's armour, Rising up from the farmer’s honour, with fists of iron and kicks of stone!”
The catchy tune led to Dennis singing along, his thunderous voice booming across the hall. As he continued, an idea came to him.
“My comrade Rhaegar!” Dennis wrapped his arm around his shoulder. “Come sing for me at home.”
“Your home?” Rhaegar mused, raising an eyebrow. “Unfortunately, I have my duties as King-”
“Who gives a shit?” Dennis looked around. “Fuck your kids, wives and all the podonoks here. They can find a new king to sit on that ugly chair.”
“I'm afraid that's not possible-”
“That wasn't a request, my friend.” Dennis grinned as a white light emerged before them. “It was an order.”
Dennis pushed him forward and into the portal.
He gave everyone else one last look, grinning.
“Do svidaniya.”
He stepped through and vanished.
However, the white light didn't disappear immediately which allowed two of the Kingsguard to bravely charge in; Ser Arthur Dayne and Ser Barristan.
Not only that but Queen Lyanna Stark had also impulsively walked in after her King…
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