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Chapter 125: Falling behind (Edited)
🕑 Added 2021-12-06 23:54:20 +0000 UTCThe new land is large, but it’s not a full continent. Rather, it's just a very large island, many, many times the size of the Nexus. I can see most of it, but my perception range can’t quite reach the whole thing, so there might be a lot more to it. I doubt that, though.
I can fully see the island's main mass, but it seems like land bridges connect three smaller masses, only one of which looks natural. Cities are built on the land bridges, with docks on either side and canals to allow ships through.
There seem to be six major factions judging from what visual cues I have. First, there's the volcano republic, which appears to have six primary cities, each apparently with its own ruling family. I'm not sure if they are city-states or not, but it seems they are all under some sort of republic, or something of that nature.
Across some mountains to their west is a slightly larger kingdom; they too have six major cities, but there seems to be a ruling king and some sort of caste system? There's only so much I can learn with the brief look I've given them.
To the south of the volcano republic is another kingdom; this one is smaller and protected by natural barriers. The forests’ trees in that kingdom have ice Bonds, making the kingdom a cold and snowy one. West of that small kingdom looks to be a number of city-states, either or maybe in a very loose coalition? Between them and the small kingdom is what I am dubbing the Untamed Wilds.
There are no signs of civilization in that area, probably because of some very powerful monsters, an Exalted Treant and an Exalted Shadow Panther. Due to these monsters and a few other Heroic ones, the jungle cannot be claimed, and probably serves as a very good barrier between factions.
West of the large kingdom appears to be a sort of healing-centered government, kind of like a magocracy but only healers; it appears only healers can be citizens, although I do see a lot of healer-warriors, a lot like Tana, so it's not like they can't defend themselves. I see a city full of old people too; it seems like there are a lot of people still in their vitality days – when their body has finally died of old age, but they keep going with the vitality they still have left.
This... ‘Healocracy’ seems to have few issues with keeping people in their vitality days –, or rather, healers are most likely to keep themselves going; most vitality healers will be able to stay alive for longer.
The last major faction I can't fully see, most of it is too far away, but it seems a little imperialistic from what I can see.
The guilds seem to operate internationally, with operations in many cities, but it is worth noting that not all guilds are spread over the entire island. There are, judging by the flags at least, ten major guilds, with one basing themselves around each one of the eight elements and the last two being a merchant guild and a healer guild.
The fire and earth guilds are most prevalent in the volcano republic, the ice guild in the snow kingdom, the healer guild is obviously most prevalent in the ‘Healocracy’, with the light guild being the second most popular there. Dark and air both call the large kingdom home, with lightning in the imperial-looking country and water being most prevalent in the mostly coastal area that the city-states occupy. The Merchant Guild seems to be everywhere, but is most concentrated in the city-states.
I take my initial report to Elder Guklaro early the next morning and watch as she reads it over carefully.
"It's quite far," Guklaro says after thinking for a few minutes, "but if we want to explore the rest of the world, we will need to meet them eventually. The Flagship is still incomplete, and it probably won't be done for some time. I'd like to know as much as we can about these people, from common things to their secrets, before we get involved with them. We need to know how strong their warriors are, and if they are likely to be friendly or hostile."
"They probably won't take too kindly being spied upon,” I warn. “As far as I know I've only triggered one retaliation, and I don’t think I’ve been noticed aside from that. I can’t promise that it’ll stay that way if I look more deeply."
Guklaro sighs. "I know, but from your reports, their warriors are far stronger than ours. Alysara, we need the dungeon to train stronger warriors, and we need it soon. Not only do we need it in case there's another cursed being, but we need it for materials and for training. I've talked with Esofy, and we've agreed that we will attack the Treant in four months. We need your help to prepare; so far, you are the only one who can make anything from forged mana that’s actually useful."
"I don't think we are ready for that, Elder.” I voice my concerns immediately. “It may be Grand-tier, but it has shown high intelligence, and it will have strong skills."
"Are we not ready, or are you not ready?" Guklaro says bluntly "Alysara, I know you want to take everything on yourself, you always have, but you are not— you cannot be our only source of strength. I know you want to wait until we are as strong as we can be, but when will that be? We can't keep waiting, and we can't afford to lose you if anything is to happen, so for this fight, you are not participating."
"What?!"
Before I can say anything else, Guklaro raises her hand to stop me.
"You said it yourself; this one is smart. It was watching you; this means you are at risk. It knows you are strong, and it will try to lure you out. Besides, you will still be helping out by making the best armor and weapons you can."
"I can fight and still be safe! If I need to, I can just fly high above, far out of reach." I try to argue.
Guklaro sighs again. "I didn't want to say this, but I'm going to have to. Alysara, you put too much on yourself; you are too hard on yourself. When I say we worry about your safety, what we mean is we are worried about your mental health. If someone dies in the fight you will blame yourself. We don't know what happened in those two years after the cursed being, because you refuse to tell us and The Guardian just says it’s your choice, but everybody can see that it was very hard on you."
"There’s no point in talking about what happened after the cursed being, what’s done is done. As for fighting, that is why I want to join the fight, so I can make sure no one dies!" I fight back.
"And what if you aren't able to save someone? There is no possible way to make sure of that! You need to realize what you are doing, Alysara. You are trying to control a situation that you have no control over, and that is not a healthy mindset,” Guklaro explains calmly, then pauses before continuing. “On top of that you don't work well under leadership, yet you also don't know how to lead. When first going into the dungeon, you had issues deferring to Esofy, who was the leader. This is very dangerous, and it can get people into dangerous situations."
She must have learned all of that from Esofy's debriefings. But this leads me to a question: are they simply letting me tag along because they don't want to hurt my feelings? I don't think it's just that, and neither does [Inquisitive Perfection], but right now I can’t calm down enough to think it through.
I try to argue, but as I open my mouth I realize my only argument is that I won't be in a position to be harmed. I've seen the others fight, and, while they may make a mistake or two, they work very well together. It's frustrating to admit, but I don't need to worry about them as much as I am.
Regardless, I can't help but feel so useless right now. I need to help; I need to make sure that it turns out all right. How many times has disaster only been averted because I was there? Three times now; I'd rather it be four times instead of having more funerals. When half the village burned down, fifteen people died, but if I’d had the power then that I have now? No one would have died. I can prevent disaster, I have done so before. I must do so again.
I clench my fists in frustration as my eyes start burning, threatening to flood with tears.
"I've averted or fixed three disasters; I can do it again!" I declare.
"We aren't the same as we were, Alysara; there won't be another disaster. The worst case is that everyone will have to use the waystone key to retreat, and with proper weapons and armor, which you can provide, no one will die." Guklaro reaches over and pats my head. "It's in your best interest to sit this one out; you need to learn to trust in our abilities now."
Tears start welling up, squeezing through my eyelids. I can't just sit this one out. My friends are going into danger, so I need to make sure they are as safe as possible. There are still some Grand-tier monsters that will give them a lot of trouble without me… what makes them think that they are ready for one of that power that is also intelligent and has mastered its abilities?
"This is proof of their abilities," Guklaro says, and draws out a large item from her storage ring. "They killed a Heroic-tier monster without you."
"What?" I mutter. When?! How?! The monster material is from the Mana Ant; it easily produces six thousand mana an hour.
Noticing my confusion, Guklaro continues. "While you've been training your skills for the last few months, they've been going to the dungeon and getting stronger. This is why they are going to be fine; this is how strong they've gotten. Trust in their abilities."
I've been so focused on training my abilities and searching the ocean that I didn't even notice their absence. There have been times when I tried looking for Tana and couldn’t find him, but I thought he was in the city with Esofy and Chyzu, who often visit the nearby place to meet up with Kadona and Jowaru to share information, like getting a second Class.
I get up and leave, utterly defeated, finally unable to hold back tears. Is this what all Bond mages feel? Seeing others surpass you because you have to hold back? I can't help but feel like I'm back during those awful two years; no one to talk to, no one to comfort me, but I won't let myself drown in sorrow. I may not be ready yet, but Guklaro did say they will attempt to kill the Treant in four months, which means I just have to get stronger in that time.
Right now, my biggest problem is the dungeon entrance. It prevents any links and presences from passing through it, but it doesn't disrupt anything physical, which means if I somehow build a relay device that crosses the entrance through a physical link, then I may be able to bypass it. If I can do that, I can have a clone train in the dungeon all day, every day, only stopping to recharge mana.
The only problem with a relay is that it will also have to transfer my spells, which means that it needs to be capable of transferring large quantities of mana. First, I need to make some thick mana wire, for the physical link. The link itself will need to keep its physical scaffolding, but even then, how will the link pass through the dungeon entrance? The link is magic; it's metaphysical in nature. Even with a relay, it won't work if the fundamental problem is that no link can pass through it.
Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, why does it work this way, anyway? The only thing I can think of is that it is a spatial problem. The best way to test this is by turning on the portals I made and trying to hold a link through those, to see if spatial magic just disrupts metaphysical links. If that is the case, and it probably is if [Inquisitive Perfection] is to be believed, then how do I work around it? It's also possible that it may not even be the entrance's fault, and rather just that the real space the dungeon occupies is too far away for me to reach.
Alternatively, if, once on the other end, the link tries to connect through real space rather than seeking back through the entrance portal then the distance may equal to infinity because the dungeon is like a demi-realm; there is no physical way to it, only the entrance portal.
This quirk of links means I need to find an alternative, one that lets me both control my clones and cast spells through them; I wonder what will happen if I inscribe magic frameworks on a physical connection? They do something, and with the amount of mana in the area it should be self-fueling. If, for example, I put my [Summoner's Beacon] Class skill's magic framework on both sides of the entrance, connected to each other, will it work? There's only one way to find out!
Comments
Squirtle
It was also that if she got to 1000 in her bond, Safyr would help with maxing out her mental skills so she can do her 2nd class. And its definitely worth holding off on getting to 300 in her class to speed up her bond, considering she needs another 500 goddamn levels ;-; rip Aly
Venalitor
True, but she did start spending more time with others. It's just that the people she connects with are currently doing their own thing and now she's feeling left out of one of the things she really wants to do. Left out mostly because she can't be there with them while also taking care of her other tasks.
Venalitor
Even with all her minds, Aly's just got too much going on. Well, that and Safyr being a slave driver with the; No Leveling Till You Hit Bond 1000!
Tjark
She's lonely. If only she'd have listened to her Mother about spending more time with people her age.
Robert Mullins
She's a step or 2 from a complete mental breakdown due to experiencing horrible soul pain beyond what most will ever feel in their lives for 2 years straight.
DANTE
its kind of wired, Aly seemed more matured in the first chapters than now, on top of that she doesn't do anything different but now she has a lot of issues with others
Squirtle
I dont think Guklaro is meaning it in that way. I think shes trying to just tell Aly that she doesnt need to do everything, and she can rely on others as well. But it definitely can feel like they are just telling her she isnt needed... Its just shitty overall
Squirtle
Shes definitely having mental issues because of multiple points. 1. Her 2 years of solitude and pain. 2. She feels a disconnect because she basically feels she isn't need by her friends so she also feels alone because of it, ontop of not actually needing to be there because of her cloning skills, so its an extra disconnect, shes not actually in physical danger. Shes also introverted and lonely Tricky shit for her :/
deus vult
this is... weird. it does kinda feels like they are abandoning her. I get that they want to not have to rely on her for stuff. but this feels almost... cruel. "you're not strong enough so we're not gonna take you with us". it's hypocritical to tell her she's putting herself in danger when danger is required for someone to become strong. which is something she wants. she also needs to become powerful. and she can only do it by going inside the dungeon with them. so leaving her out will only make her fall behind. which is why, the only reason I think she would tell aly to not come is that she genuinely believes she is holding them back. she is practically telling her 'we don't need you anymore' 'we don't have to have you there to save us'. which is stupid. aly can do pretty awsome shit. and the only reason others are doing so well is because they are copying her.
Pawzom Lz
Love where this story is going. I personally hope she ends up going down the leadership route rather than following orders, as other leaders would have an issue dealing with the sheer amount of information she is constantly dealing with. Just relaying info would be a full time job.
Robert Mullins
Is it meant to seem like they are talking past each other? Seems like Aly is arguing that she is strong enough to help and is upset because she feels they are excluding her for being too weak. While the elder is saying that they had previously been overly-dependent on her and they are trying to accomplish things with out her assistance to the degree they can manage? Also, she's having some serious cognitive dissonance saying that she's saved them from disaster 3 times and can do it again while simultaneously fearing that she's holding them back and doesn't fit in because she's not strong enough.
Jachin Nelson
Thank you for the chapter
