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A Frog's Blessing on this Wonderful Galaxy: Chapter 13
🕑 Added 2025-01-31 17:25:16 +0000 UTCBad Blood
Kermit expected some shouting with the bit of bad blood between the trio, but he didn't anticipate it to be this bad. "You whore, what did you do to him!" The goddess of life shouted with such hate that Kermit recoiled back in fear as the woman marched straight towards the goddess.
Not one to back down, Slaanesh glared at Isha as she fired back, "Oh no, nothing at all." Grinning, she taunted, "As if I'd need to do anything with how much of a withered old hag you are." This would prove to be enough to push Isha well over the edge.
Before he knew it, Isha launched herself at Slaanesh, pulling and tearing at the Daemon Goddess's hair. "I didn't do shit you hag!" She shouted, grabbing onto Isha only for the smaller goddess to bite at her fingers.
Howling, Slaanesh flailed around, "Get her off! Get her off!" Despite being several dozen times bigger than Isha, Slaanesh would prove helpless as the smaller goddess latched on to her.
Finally breaking out of his stupor, Kermit sprang into action, grabbing hold of Slaanesh as he tried prying his companion off, "Isha, let go!" This only made Isha bite down harder causing Slaanesh to bite down on the nearest object which just so happened to be Kermit's arm.
While not breaking through his skin, Kermit's eyes watered at how sharp the Daemon's. "Let go, damn it!" He croaked out as Cegorach howled in laughter.
"Eat her face!" The tiny hellion cheered as Isha finally let go. For a moment, Kermit thought it was all over as he grabbed out before the goddess wiggled out of his hands and crawled up Slaanesh's face.
Scrambling to catch her, Kermit had to wrestle with an equally belligerent Slaanesh before he finally caught the woman. As Cegorach booed, Kermit glared at him, "Cegorach! Not helping!" This had the clown pouting, but settled down, leaving him with just the two.
"Ok, Settle down now!" Kermit shouted, making the two freeze as he glared at both of them. Setting the stunned goddess down, he sighed before he explained "Isha, calm down. She didn't do anything." As she opened her mouth to protest, he quickly cut her off, "I know what I'm doing, please."
Fuming, the goddess settled down. Turning to the other goddess, he shouted, "And you!" As the goddess cowered back, he scolded her, "Do you want to get out of that hole or not?" Whether she liked it or not, the only way she was going to get out of that hole was with his help and her taunts were not helping one bit.
"Are you seriously going to help her?" Isha asked him in disbelief as she clutched her hair. Pointing at her, she screamed at him, "She attacked us, tormented us and ate all those that I know! Why should we help her?"
"Because she needs help?" He replied, but before he could explain any further, Isha stormed off, trailing bramble and roses behind her.
"I can't believe this," The goddess shouted as she threw her hands up and marched off back into the forest, "The world has gone insane!" He tried to run after her, but Cegorach would grab his cloak. As he looked back, the clown shook her head.
"Kermit, let her cool off," She advised as he heard shouting off in the distance along with the sound of creaking timber and the earth shaking. "She needs to get it out of her system," She pointed out.
"But," He tried to argue before trailing off as he saw that serious look on Cegorach's face.
"Trust me," The goddess told him as she popped and appeared right atop his shoulder. Settling down, she gestured for him to sit down. "For now, let's talk, yeah?" She advised with a grin. Reluctantly, Kermit nodded and plopped down as he waited for what the goddess had to say.
He glanced at the Slaanesh as she plopped down nearby, rolling about. Turning back to Cegorach, he gestured at the goddess. She was within ear shot and it seemed that the Clown goddess had something important in mind, but the woman waved off his concern.
Taking in a deep breath, his companion leaned back before she started, "Kermit, buddy, ole pal, know you have a heart gold under all that green, but do you realize just how insane you sound right now?"
As he opened his mouth, Slaanesh pipped in, "As much as I hate to agree with this bitch, you really are. Not the funny haha kind of insane, but the type where I'd asked if you hit your head type of insane." Rolling her eyes at his indignation, she added, "Trust me, I've been in enough parties to know insanity when I see one."
"See, even she knows she's a bitch," Cegorach pointed out before turning to Slaanesh, "No offense."
"I take it as a compliment~" Slaanesh smiled before she stopped and stared at him. "But seriously, why are you going through all this to help me?" She asked as she got back up and lounged atop her coiled lowered half, "We had a good thing going. You were supposed to kill me, I get to experience one final pleasure, and everyones happy."
"It would honestly be better if we just end her here and now and just be done with it." Cegorach nodded, making Slaanesh laugh.
"I'd be down to that," She admitted, "Having to go through therapy sounds horrible. At least if I die, I'd go out with a bang, just like how I was born!" Grinning, she told him, "Yeah, that sounds nice. Ending the way I lived."
Staring at her, Cegorach replied, "You know, it's a shame you came out as such a bitch." Shaking her head, she chuckled, "I would have loved a party god, but you are… well…"
"A whore?" She answered with a self deprecating smile.
"Exactly," The goddess replied with a snap of her finger.
Sighing, Kermit reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't insane. He knows what he's doing, but not even the being he wanted to save had confidence in him. Still, his mother didn't raise no quitter.
Turning to the stuck daemon goddess, he said, "Ok look, this might sound insane, but I think we can help you." As the two looked at him in disbelief, Isha stomped back, still angry, but also sporting a resigned look on her face. Pointing at the goddess, Kermit asked, "Isha, you said that gods are made of emotions, that you guys are the dreams of those that worship right?"
Startled, Isha took a while to gather her wits before she nodded, "Yes and so long as she can feed on those emotions, she'll stay the same." Glaring at the goddess, she hissed, "So long as her worshippers keep her fed, she'll never change."
Nodding, Kermit turned back to goddess. "Hey Slaanesh," He asked, "What did that mechanical asshole take from you again?"
"He took everything I owned," She complained, "He even took my favorite toys and my daemonettes!" As she let out an annoyed huff, she looked at him and asked, "Where are you getting here?"
"Well, from how I see it, she has no one right now," Kermit replied with, "No castle, no realm, nothing but the things on her back and the sea to nourish her." He was pretty sure that no one in Commaragh was worshipping her anymore and he had yet to see any current in the warp pouring into her. She has no one.
Smiling, he got up and walked over to her. "So hypothetically, what if someone believes in her being good?" Reaching up to the confused goddess, she patted him on the head. For a moment, nothing happened before she started retching.
"Oh god, stop!" She reared back, holding back her mouth, "It tastes like rainbows!" Even Isha and Cegorach looked surprised as Slaanesh turned pale.
Kermit chuckled as he sat down and pulled out his banjo. "You know, happiness and all that's pure ain't bad?" Strumming the strings, he told her, "You just have to open your heart and accept the love others have for you."
Heaving, Slaanesh doubled over as she spat out several stars. "I think I'm going to be sick," She moaned as she curled up. Change it seems was far more traumatic than he anticipated, but already, he could see her colors change. From a harsh purple, to a happier pink, her soul and the very sky above stirred as he started singing a song of love.
"Fascinating," Cegorach whispered as she accepted the souls, "I think you're onto something!" More and more came out as Slaanehs's body rejected his belief. "However, I don't see how that would help us with getting her out of that hole," She pointed, "She is still quite stuck, yes?"
Kermit sighed as he lowered his instrument, finally giving her some respite. "Why do you have to be so happy and pure," She groaned as she laid there, a bit changed with her hair losing some of its colors, but still quite stuck.
"Yeah, that's the thing," He admitted, "I wanted to get her out of the hole and help her, but I'm not sure how." He got so excited about the possibility of helping her change that he forgot their more pressing problem.
"Just put me out of my misery," She whispered, coughing out a few more souls.
Picking up the knife that had been discarded, Isha smiled, "Well, she asked for it, so why don't we help her by doing that?" With a sinister gleam in her eyes, she added, "We are running on a tight schedule and It'll be much faster this way."
As Isha marched over to the woman, Cegorach suddenly appeared behind her and grabbed her hand. "I think I might have something here," The goddess said before pointing at her, "Kermit, keep feeding her happy emotions." With a grin, she added, "I think our little friend over here could lose a few more pounds of soul~"
"Wait, why?" He asked before a look of realization dawned on his face, "Ohhhh." Grabbing his Banjo once more, he saluted the clown goddess, "Songs of Love and Happiness coming right up!" Change would be painful, but it'll be good for her.
Paleing, Slaanesh scrambled back as she screamed, "No! Fuck no!" Her screams of mercy however would be drowned out as he started plucking his strings. With Cegorach pulling out a fiddle, their song echoed, making the daemon scream as she started glowing.
He played his heart out, believing that even a Daemon like her could change. They played long and hard with the very trees themselves swaying and dancing, yet not amount of souls that the woman threw up could put a dent on how big she was.
"You're a good girl Slaanesh," Kermit shouted through the storm, "You just don't know it yet." She could do good, he knew she could, she just needed to change.
"Fuck you!" Slaanesh cried out as her form started cracking.
For a moment, he faltered, but Cegorach was quick to encourage him. "Keep going!" Cegorach shouted as her bell flapped in the raging winds, "It might look painful, but it'll be worse if we stop right now! Those emotions inside her aren't sitting pretty!"
The woman was tearing apart at the seams, but the sea of souls was quick to fill her up. She was changing slowly, shrinking even. They were getting through her, but all the music they made wouldn't go unnoticed.
As the very soul shook with his music, so too would the land heaved as it resisted the change. Long dormant factories stirred as gears started to grind and pumps started to move. The screams of the damned filled the air as chimneys started belching their black smoke.
Pulling away her cloak and dancing to the tune, Cegorach shouted, "We need more happy thoughts and you better make it quick, cause those whistles don't sound friendly!" Indeed, they were as the sound of engines roared to life. It was deafening, almost drowning out their songs. They needed help and the only one still left was Isha who looked at them with indecision.
"Isha, a little help here!" Kermit begged the goddess. Slaanesh was turning, but not fast enough. They needed her belief if they wanted to get out of her unscathed.
"This is insane!" Isha shouted as he held herself. Glaring at Slaanesh, she asked, "Even if we turn her good, then what? Will that fix all the lives she ruined or undo all the things she has done?"
"It won't," He answered, taking the goddess by surprise, "and she might never pay for what she did." With all the pain she caused, he doubted that anyone else would forgive. "But are you going to take the chance for her to change away from her?" He asked. Yes, she caused immeasurable harm, but there was a chance to turn her around, to turn her into a person that could actually regret her actions.
"If we can change her for the better, then anyone can! No one will have an excuse!" He shouted as he kept plucking away. This was insane, he admits it, but he'll be damned if he let this chance fly by.
"Not the Imperials, not Dhrukari, not even the most twisted monster in this universe!" He shouted as the ground rumbled and the fires of hell screamed in the background, "Everyone can change for the better."
"This," Isha shook her head, "This is different! I can't!" Still, his words were getting through her as she sported a conflicted look on her face.
With sweat pouring down his forehead, he shouted, "You gave your trust in me because you believe I could give your people a better future. Can you trust me again?" With pleading eyes, he turned to her as he begged, "Just give her a chance. Just one chance, that's all I ask."
"Ok fine!" Isha screamed as she turned to the sickly Daemon. "Slaanesh, you're-!" The goddess cried out, trying to force out the words at the tip of her tongue.
"Isha!" Cegorach screamed as the very words they spoke became harder and harder to hear through the cacophony of industry all around them, "We're running out of time!"
Clenching her eyes, Isha finally shouted, "You're a good girl!"
Slaanesh grabbed her mouth as the light around her grew to a painful intensity before her very hands cracked. As he hands fell and her very being started to unravel, she cursed, "Fuck urp-!" Her words were quickly drowned out as a torrent of souls came rushing from her mouth.
Kermit had to grab the two goddesses and dig in his hells as the waves rushed out, knocking trees and reshaping the very landscape. The intensity of the wave was overwhelming, far more than even the very souls he had gathered through the course of his travels. He thought he'd be swept away, but soon, the flood would finally settle, leaving them soaked in this slimy soup of soul stuff along with chunks floating about.
Wiping the soul gunk off his face, he asked, "Did it work?" Half blinded by all these souls, he wasn't sure if the goddess was dislodged, much less survived the ordeal. Their body was rejecting his song so badly that he feared that they might have been ripped apart.
Even the very landscape didn't come out unscathed as it was flattened for miles on end. All those factories belching smog grew silent, but they were destroyed. Already, he could see cancer like growth as they were rebuilt atop the ruined landscape.
"Well, she's not there anymore," Cegorach pointed at the gaping hole in reality. Flicking away the gunk, she grimaced, "I need to take a good long bath after all this."
"Noted," He nodded before he looked around and asked, "Where's Slaanesh?"
He feared the worst, that was until he heard the most adorable cursing sounds he'd heard in his life. Turning, he found a tiny lamia throwing a tantrum. "Damn it!" The tiny being screamed as she glared at him, "Look at what you did!"
It took Kermit a moment to process it before he realized that this was Slaanesh or what's left of her at least. While still bigger than both Isha and Cegorach, she was tiny in comparison to himself. Isha herself couldn't quite believe it while Cegorach laughed her ass off.
"She's…" Isha whispered as a blush spread across her cheeks, "She's adorable."
Having lost much of her mass, she had shrunk to a much more manable and quite admittedly, cute package. She no longer exude sensuality, instead, she carried an air of innocence with her puffy cheeks and softer features. "I swear I'll make you sorry!" She threatened them, but all it did was melt Kermit's heart. He simply couldn't take her seriously anymore.
Fuming, the newly reborn goddess slapped her tail in anger, "This is not funny!" This only made Cegorach drop to her knee as she started wheezing. With a warcry, she launched herself at the fool, "I'll kill you!"
Fortunately for Kermit, her expulsion of souls had significantly weakened her as well, letting him catch the tiny goddess with ease. "Maybe let's leave the killing later," He suggested as he held by the scruff of her neck. "At least you're not stuck anymore, right?" He pointed out, hoping to appease her.
"By stripping me of everything!" Slaanesh hissed back. Tearing up, she cried, "Even when I was stuck there, I was something! I was the goddess that destroyed the Eldari Empire, I was a Chaos God, but after you changed me, I have nothing left…" Rubbing her eyes, she hiccupped, "I couldn't even bring myself to eat those souls..."
True enough, the souls lay untouched as they gathered around himself and the Aeldari Goddesses. Not one soul returned back to Slaanesh. "Just kill me already," She sniffled, "At least those bastards would remember me as someone they fear more than this…"
It was true, she was nowhere near what he saw in Commaragh, yet it seems that her fall had clouded her eyes. Smiling, he asked, "Aren't you still the Goddess of Perfection?" As she looked up at him in confusion, he reached out and gave her a pat on the head. "Aren't you the Goddess of Love and Desire?" he added. And are you really going to let those bastards win?" He questioned her as she wiped her tears.
"N-no," She replied, still unsure, yet no longer sporting a look of despair.
Ruffling her hair, he encouraged her, "Look at it this way, since you're at rock bottom, there's no way but up!" She had no one to believe her but three beings, and yet the light inside her soul was far brighter than that of Isha and Cegorach. She was still a powerful being despite only having three beings believe in her.
"I… I suppose," She replied as he set her down and patted her on the head once more.
"Chin's up young one,"Said Cegorach as she broke up a chunk, freeing a wild looking woman. Struggling to lift her up, she pointed out, "Kermit has broken the shackles of fate upon your story and it'd be a shame if I don't get to tell how a monster becomes a heroine."
With a bright smile stretching across her lips, she nodded eagerly. Slithering over, she offered, "Let me help you!"
It was strange seeing her like this, but it was a vast improvement to what she once was. There was still darkness in that heart, but so too do all beings. "I really can't hate her now that she's like this," Isha whispered as she walked up to his side, "Is she still really the monster I know?"
"Oh yes," He nodded, "Just one given a clean slate." She was still the same old being despite all this change. What she does now would still be up to her, but he hoped that something stuck. He hoped that she truly had changed for the better.
"I still don't trust her," Isha muttered as she wrapped her hands around herself, "she ate everyone the first time around."
Nodding, he replied, "Then it's just up to me to make sure she never does that." As they watched the duo struggle to lift the woman, he told her, "She's going to be my responsibility. If she fucks up, I'll be the one that will put her down." He was the one that suggested this in the first place.
"Please don't make me regret this, Kermit," Isha replied as she gazed at the tiny goddess in worry. While Cegorach looked like she was bonding well with the tiny goddess, Isha still had her reservations
"I promise," Kermit nodded, dreading the day and hoping he never had to do so. With how bright and innocent Slaanesh's eyes were… He dared hope that that day would never come.
"As much as I hate to interrupt you two love birds, can somebody help me pick everyone up?" Cegorach shouted from beneath the wild looking goddess. It seems that the Fool had found herself trapped beneath the goddess. Even Slaanesh was stuck, unable to lift even a foot. That was one heavy goddess, he noted.
"Eleven thousand years and she's still heavy as shit!" Cegorach shouted as she struggled beneath the goddess.
Pushing himself back to his feet, he replied, "Just give me a sec!" Picking a tone, he started plucking his strings as he walked over.
Slaanesh hadn't just disgorged countless souls, but the rest of the pantheon as well and things might get hairy if they stayed too long. It would be easier to just grab them and run, but why do that when he could get them out there in style? With the rhythm in his fingers, he tapped on the floor and let his music travel in deep.
"Kermit!" Cegorach shouted as she pushed herself out, only to get knocked over as one of the chunks danced their way back to him. Even the very grass beneath Isha's feet started to sway to his music.
"Just give it a second," He chuckled as he jumped up, clicked his heels and shrank down to Isha's side, "I'm getting us out of here!" Now her size, he danced with her.
"K-Kermit!" Isha stuttered, cheeks burning as she was swept up to his tune.
"Just dance, trust me!" He laughed. He wasn't quite sure if it'll work, but he needed to make a ruckus, enough for everyone to hear.
"Damn it, now's not the time!" Cegorach fumed even as her shoes started tapping on the soil. With the stars joining their very chorus, it would be to no surprise that he caught the wrong type of attention. His jaunty came to a screeching halt as a sharp whistle echoed in the air.
The smoke stacks had reformed and belched its acrid smoke with a vengeance. It spread and crept throughout the land, blotting out the sun. From the billow smog then came monsters. A stream of creatures made of metal and fire forming from the very clouds themselves.
With crude prosthesis and tubes maring their features, once beautiful creatures were twisted into abominations of iron. Like iron angels, they fell upon them, surrounding them and cutting them off from their escape. He could have dealt with an army, but he wasn't quite sure this time around as more and more came out to greet them.
"Welp, too late!" Cegorach hissed as she, along with Slaanesh and Isha, backed up towards Kermit. While they were surrounded, they stayed at bay, seemingly observing them for now. He might have stayed his welcome a bit too much.
Still, they were at an impasse. While menacing, the swarm had yet to act upon them, though it wouldn't take long for such to change. "Trespassers detected," One of the being droned out, its beautiful voice reduced to a monotone as it shambled forward, "Please submit or prepare to be eliminated."
"That bastard turned my Daemonettes!" Slaanesh hissed as she coiled up against his legs, "Fucking thief!" He wasn't quite sure what a Daemonette was, but these don't look like anything closely related to Slaanesh at all. They looked more like mechanical mockeries of demons than anything else.
"That fellow you talked about doesn't sound like a good fellow at all," He noted as he narrowed his eyes. He did not like this one bit. "I think that's our sign to leave," Kermit whispered as beads of sweat dripped down his forehead, "Like right now."
"Ya think!?" Cegorach fired back as the machine daemons roared and slowly marched forward. Still, despite the sheer number of Daemons around them, polluting the very air with the smog they bellow, he could still feel the sea and it called out to him. There were a lot of them, but that was just it.
Smiling, he asked "Is this all of his toys?" There were more daemons here than the last time he stumbled through. These daemon gods definitely kicked up to high gear with him around.
"It's all of them alright," Slaanesh hissed as she cowered behind him.
"Good," Kermit replied as he reached out and plucked a hat from the air and settled it upon his brow. Staring these beasts straight in the eyes, he started, "Ok boys, now listen up!"
"There are gods here out in this here west, who claimed to be the best," He declared, singing these tones as all those gathered looked at him in bewilderment, "For they think they wrote the book on how to wrangle!"
Tugging at his sleeves, Isha whispered, "Kermit, the hell are you doing?"
"Just trust me alright?" He chuckled before turning back to his captive audience. "Well, as good as they may be, not a one's as good as me!" He shouted as he stomped his legs and the very ground shooked.
"They call me soft, boys, Infirm and impotent too!" " He lamented as these creatures leered, hissing their awful notes,
"And they ain't seen, boys and girls," He smiled as he drew their attention to him and him alone even as the ground heaved and ho'd, "The bestest thing I do!"
Stepping forward, a being of smog and coalesced, their form not quite here yet their presence truly felt and seen. "Do you think a mere song can stop me from taking you and rendering you down to mere scraps?!" They rasped out as their beady little eyes glared right at their very soul.
"I think so," Kermit smiled back as he sang, "cause I yodel-ay-hee-hii-hoooooo~!"
With the strum of his banjo, the earth splits and out comes the terror of the warp. As he danced, and they screamed, a giant worm of immeasurable size descended upon the crowd. "What is the meaning of this!?" The shade of the monster screamed as the Worm tore up the army before them.
"It's the sweetest way of distractin' yet devised!" Kermit crackled as he clicked his heels and strummed his tone. A bit late, but well worth the wait. The shade's confused screaming was only made sweater as they were swallowed up as well.
"Kermit, what the fuck!" Cegorach laughed as she peeked out from his hood. It was carnage out here and not one of these daemons could put a dent upon the monster's tough skin.
"I called a friend!" He shouted. Well, not a friend, but something close enough. What else would they be since they answered his call? Tapping his feet, he chuckled, "But if you're surprised, you better hold on to you hat's"
"You think this little trick can stop me!" The Daemon screamed as he reformed. They were pissed alright, but not as pissed as he was going to be! Gesturing behind them, Kermit laughed as he paled.
The worm now barreled right at them as Kermit sang, "'Cause when I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odl, Why, looky here them worms git hypnotized!" Jumpring right of the way, he watched as the shade scattered once more and the clouds parted.
With their army broken and with the worm plunging into the tear in reality, none barred their way. Running beside the worm, Kermit scooped up the chunks and whatever soul he could grab as he tried to catch up. As much as he wanted to torment them more, this song was not meant for them to hear in full.
"You called up a monster from the deep warp for a ride!?" Isha shrieked as she struggled to hold on, "Are you insane!" The Worm was fast, way faster than he was. He couldn't catch, so he merely had to jump.
"Maybe!" Kermit laughed as he leapt, sailing across the air. With the souls and gods clutched close in one hand, he slammed against the side of the worm, slipping momentarily before he caught on. Hauling himself, he pulled himself atop the worm and sat.
"I hate you so much!" Isha shrieked as they plunged into the swirling vortex into reality.
"I love you too Isha, I love you two!" He chuckled as they plunged into the void of space while he played his jaunty tone. His ride wasn't exactly traditional, but it was void worthy, one that easily slithered across the night sky. As his songs echoed into the vastness of space, he laughed his heart away. Jaghatia was definitely going to have the surprise of his life.
"Next stop, Cadia!" He shouted as he pointed dead ahead.
A/N:
That took way longer than I wanted, but I think it was well worth it. If you want to hear the inspiration of the music, go search up "Yodel-Adle-Eedle-Idle-Oo" From Home on the Range. Lovely movie
