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34: Doubt
🕑 Added 2021-04-19 23:09:34 +0000 UTCInho’s teeth chattered as they speed-walked back to Stephen’s car. It was freezing and his jeans were bunching uncomfortably on his wet legs. Stephen turned briefly to beam down at him, and Inho laughed out loud. It suddenly struck him how ridiculous it was to be walking downtown late at night with a man in a suit while clutching dripping underwear. Stephen shot him quizzical look, then reached out and took his free hand.
“We’ll warm up if we walk faster. I don’t want you to get chilled,” he fussed, tugging until Inho increased his pace.
Holding hands in public – it was night, but still, it felt like something illicit. He certainly wouldn’t be able to do this back home. But, he trusted Stephen, and he was still high on adrenaline anyway.
When they got to the car, Stephen put the seat warmers on max and gestured to the stereo, inviting Inho to choose the music. Inho quickly found an aggressive dance remix and spun the volume dial way up. Stephen chuckled as he pulled out of the parking spot, and Inho bobbed happily along with the music.
Stephen kept glancing at him, and Inho smiled back. Streetlights flashed into the car, illuminating Stephen’s perfect features, and Inho felt giddy. The night’s events were like something out of a romantic drama, and god, it felt so good to just be wanted. Inho didn’t know how this was going to play out, and he didn’t feel too worried about it. It was the exact diversion he needed: budding attraction, feeling desired by someone, feeling important. It was a seductive drug, and he was already hooked.
Stephen parked in front of Inho’s building, and Inho once again had an embarrassing flashback of kissing him on the cheek. Before he could redeem himself, Stephen kissed him.
Inho leaned into it, undoing his seatbelt to get closer. Stephen ran his fingers through his hair, then pulled it sharply as he pressed his tongue into Inho’s mouth. Inho’s breath caught, and he made a snap decision he'd had no intention to make.
“Do you want to come up?” Inho asked, his voice hoarse with intensity.
Stephen nodded with a grin, and they hurried inside. While Inho fumbled with the keys at his apartment door, Stephen pressed himself against his back. One hand snaked around to cup his chin, twisting Inho’s face to kiss from behind. His other hand hooked on Inho’s hip bone and hitched his pelvis backward, grinding them together. It was an unfamiliar way to be touched, but the fire rushing through him left zero doubt about whether he liked it.
It didn’t make unlocking the door any easier though, and after a moment, he shrugged Stephen off with a laugh to get the door opened. He entered and Stephen followed him with a wolfish grin.
“We should shower to warm up,” Inho said, as he tossed his wet boxers in the laundry basket. “You go first. I’ll grab you a towel.”
“First?” Stephen inquired, “I prefer together.”
Inho grimaced into the linen closet. It was hitting him now, exactly what he had invited Stephen up for, and that he didn’t really know what he was ready to do.
“Nope,” He spun around with a plastered-on grin, “My shower is really small. Here,” he pushed a towel into Stephen’s hands, “You go first.” Then, without waiting for a response, he went into his room to change. After changing inho sweatpants, Inho sat on the edge of his bed and chewed a fingernail.
It was soon.
He liked Stephen well enough, and they definitely had chemistry. He wanted him and everything, but… It was just soon. And, for all of his internet explorations, Jasmine’s teasing wasn’t far off the mark. He wasn’t completely confident about having sex with a man.
He wasn’t scared...but, he didn’t know what role Stephen wanted and…how was that even determined? His teeth slipped and he gave himself a hangnail. It wasn’t that. He’d done plenty of adventurous things with Jamie. He just felt unprepared emotionally. It wasn’t something you could take back, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for where this was headed.
Stephen appeared in the doorway, lit from behind, wearing just a towel around his waist. He looked like the chiseled statue of a Greek god, and Inho felt the front of his sweatpants grow tighter.
“Can I borrow some underwear?” Stephen asked with a cheeky smile.
“Uh sure, but I dunno if they’ll fit.”
They did, but they were extremely tight. Inho couldn’t help glancing back as he passed Stephen on his way to the shower.
The hot water did nothing to soothe his nerves, and he went back to find Stephen on the couch, sitting casually with his ankle resting on his knee. Somehow he had the air of someone in a tailored suit still, even wearing nothing but a pair of too-tight boxer briefs. Inho hovered awkwardly.
“Why don’t you come sit for a minute?” Stephen invited.
Inho moved to sit on the opposite end of the couch and nervously stared at the far wall.
“Inho, you’re not exactly being subtle, but are you regretting inviting me up?” Stephen asked in a politely casual tone.
“No!” Inho spun to face him, “I’m just...nervous. I’m sorry.” he looked away again biting his lip in consternation.
Stephen moved to sit with him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
“It’s okay. There’s no pressure from me. We can move at whatever pace you like, alright? I’ll follow your lead.”
Inho finally met his eyes.
“Okay,” he said. Of course, Stephen would understand. He was observant, and understanding. He was really really cool.
“Then how about…” Inho put a tentative hand on Stephen’s bare chest to steady himself. Then he leaned in and kissed him. The first time he’d kissed Stephen first.
As they broke apart, Inho spotted the time over Stephen’s shoulder.
“Oh hey,” he said, shyly. “Happy birthday.”
