dogshitjay
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45: Pillow Talk
🕑 Added 2021-04-21 03:03:10 +0000 UTCCW: This chapter contains a retelling of non-violent homophobia.
Inho sipped the smoothie Stephen had made him, pausing to stir the thick strawberry liquid with his straw, then sipped some more. Stephen lay next to him on the bed, propped on one elbow, happily watching him drink. Stephen was a very conscientious post-sex lover. After they’d collapsed, panting and sticky, he’d rested only a few moments before manifesting a warm damp washcloth to wipe Inho down with and disappearing to make them drinks. Inho wondered if it would always be like this with him, and smiled a little around his straw.
“What are you grinning about?” Stephen asked with a smile of his own, reaching out a cool hand to rest possessively on Inho’s abdomen.
“Just nothing, just...you,” Inho didn’t even blush saying something so corny; it was really how he felt right now, happy, safe, and cozy. They were snuggled under Stephen’s fluffy white duvet, nestled on equally plush pillows, and Stephen had set his lights to a soft glow.
“Yeah? How are you feeling? Was that okay?” Stephen was rubbing his skin in slow circles. This time Inho did flush.
“Y-yeah, of course,” he stammered back, flustered.
“Just okay?” Stephen prodded with a mischievous smirk.
Inho rolled his eyes, “What do you think?” he put his glass down and turned onto his side to face Stephen, “You’re the expert here, wanna give me the breakdown?”
Stephen laughed loud, startled at his bold answer, “You always seem very innocent you know, but sometimes you really surprise me.”
“Suprise you?” Inho wriggled forward and plopped his head onto Stephen’s chest, “Surprise you with what? My jokes or my fucking?”
Stephen laughed again. Inho really liked his laugh. It was clear and honest, and it had none of the facade of careful composure that Stephen always maintained.
“Not your fucking, I always had high expectations of you. Ever since I saw you naked with all that gear in my bed. I thought you were a professional dom you know,” Stephen’s voice got a little embarrassed here, and Inho craned his neck to look at his face. Stephen rewarded him with a kiss on the tip of his nose for his efforts.
“You thought what?”
“Let’s not get into it,” Stephen waived his hand dismissively, “But, yeah, your jokes. You’re really quick, it’s kind of unexpected some times. And also, how angry you get. I wasn’t expecting that either.”
Inho wrapped his arm tightly around Stephen’s ribs, “Well, I was hurt,” he said, addressing Stephen’s nipple, “You were ignoring me, and I didn’t know why.”
“Yeah, I –”
“I don’t like it when people get cold and shut me out. Please don’t do that again,” Inho tucked his chin, then let out his thoughts in a long stream, “I know I was wrong with what I did in front of Jamie. I saw her, and... I just felt so bitter for a second, and I wanted to throw something in her face. I’m sorry.”
He fell silent, hoping that bringing her name up once more wasn’t the wrong move, hoping that Stephen was ready to forgive him. Stephen was silent, but he squeezed Inho tighter in the circle of his arms.
“And, I’ll stop talking about her,” Inho tacked on, awkwardly.
Stephen gave a small snort, “I’d like that,” he replied, then pecked the top of Inho’s head, “Thank you.”
It didn’t feel resolved.
“Promise you won’t shut me out again?”
Stephen still hesitated, “I’ll try,” he offered after a moment. “It’s sort of...automatic. But, I’ll try. For you.”
“Okay,” Inho said. What more could he really ask for at this point? He let the residual hurt fade away slowly, focusing instead each soft rise of Stephen’s breath.
Stephen pet his hair, “How’s your body, are you hurting?”
“I’m okay, it well...I can feel what we did still.” Inho’s face heated again, “But it doesn’t hurt exactly? Oh god–” he laughed, “I have to ride a bike tomorrow.”
“Oh no!” Stephen cackled, then rocked him his arms, teasing, “Is it okay? Do you want me to kiss it better?” He showered Inho in aggressive smooches, his hands creeping over Inho’s stomach to tickle.
“Gah! Get off, I’m fine!”
They tussled fiercely, Inho’s yelps of laughter bouncing off the tall ceilings, then dropped back into the pillows. Inho let his breathing recover before speaking again, “Can I ask, when did you know that you were…?”
“Gay?” Stephen asked, “Always,” all emotion left his voice, and he spoke on in a dull tone, “At least, I always knew I liked boys. But, my family was very religious and conservative, so I didn’t have much exposure to what ‘gay’ was, just that acting on same-sex attraction was something...disgusting and abhorrent.” Inho could feel Stephen’s muscles become so taut they were trembling slightly, “I thought I couldn’t be a good person and gay at the same time, so there was this gap where I didn’t fit…” he trailed off.
Inho chewed his lip, this was clearly a painful topic, and Stephen never talked about his past or his family.
“You’re not religious now, right? Is that why you don’t stay in touch with them?”
“Nope, I left the church pretty early, Christmas got canceled for me and everything. If you don’t believe in Jesus you don’t get presents they said, as if bribing me with gifts would get me to come around. Then in my early twenties, I came out, got kicked out, left my crappy hometown, and here I am!’
Inho knew there was a lot more in between the words, but it was obvious how tense Stephen had gotten even sharing this much. He was dying to ask more, he wanted to know everything about Stephen, but he also didn’t want to drag up painful things right now. Not when they were finally happy.
“And here you are,” Inho agreed, cuddling in close, signaling the end of his questioning, “with me.”
“Indeed, and since I’ve got you here,” Stephen suddenly pulled out from under him, and rolled on top, pausing to kiss him in a more than playful way. His tone was light again, the previous dark topic dismissed for now, “How about another round?”
“What?” Inho groaned, kissing him back regardless, “What part of ‘five hours on a bike tomorrow’ did you not understand?
Stephen lifted up to a kneeling position, and rocked his hips against Inho’s groin, “Who said you had to use your ass this time?”
