dogshitjay
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52: Here Again
🕑 Added 2021-04-26 23:45:42 +0000 UTCAt around 7 AM, Inho was sent home. The doctor that did his final check didn’t even blink at Stephen curled up in bed with him. They slowly unraveled their tired bodies, and Stephen took Inho home, guided his groggy steps to his apartment, undressed him, and tucked him into bed.
“I’ll be back after work, okay?”, Stephen bent to kiss his forehead, exactly the way Inho’s mother had tucked him in when he was small, “Should I come back at lunch and bring you something?”
“You don’t need to, I’ll be fine. I can ask my friend Jasmine to stop by”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind.” Stephen had deep dark circles under his eyes.
Inho nodded, “Yep, she lives close by too.”
“Alright. Don’t worry about anything, okay? Everything’s going to be fine,” Stephen dropped a final tired kiss on his lips before he left, “I’ll see you in a few hours.”
Inho stared up at the white stucco ceiling and took stock of his new situation. He wouldn’t be able to work for at least a month while his ribs healed, so he would likely lose both his jobs. He also didn’t know when or if the insurance would reimburse his hospital bill, so was in debt thousands of dollars to Stephen.
He wrapped his hands into fists and squeezed hard until his nails bit small moons into his palms. It felt like he hadn’t moved forward at all from when he’d first arrived. Here he was again, alone, broke, and helpless. Last time Jamie had thrown him away, but how long until Stephen did the same once he realized what a goddamn loser Inho was?
He’d felt Stephen tense up when he said he hadn’t considered telling his family about their relationship. Stephen was probably regretting spending all that money on someone so ungrateful. Isn’t it way too soon to be thinking about family introductions? But no, it was clearly something important to Stephen, and Inho had fucked it up.
He didn’t deserve Stephen. That was obvious, much as it hurt to admit it. He hadn’t deserved Jamie either. Honestly, he had no idea why either of them was interested in him at all. He had literally nothing to offer.
Fat tears squeezed out and rolled down his cheeks, landing on his pillow like the raindrops that had just started to darken the pavement when they had arrived.
He felt rotten about kissing Stephen in front of Jamie too. Firstly because it obviously offended Stephen so much, but also it was just such a petty thing to do to Jamie.
Earlier on the phone, when she’d asked if he was dating Stephen, he’d been so tempted to tell her all about it. In a way, she was the only person connected to his old life that he felt safe telling. For all that they were on bad terms now, he’d dated her for almost six years. He trusted her.
He took a deep breath, ready to settle further into self-pity, when his phone started to ring. His father was returning his text. Inho rubbed his face free of tears as if his dad would be able to see them, and cleared his throat.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Inho! I just woke up to your message! What happened, are you hurt?”
“No, I’m fine. It was just some small injuries – sprained wrist, rib fractures, some stitches.”
“That doesn’t sound fine! Are you still in the hospital?” His dad’s usually cheery voice was extremely worried.
“No, I’m home now, it’s okay! I mostly just have to rest. Honest! I mean, the treatment for broken ribs is just breathing deeply sometimes.”
“Are you sure? I should drive up. I can be there in a few hours.”
“No Dad! It’s really really ok. Don’t leave work. It’s only….” Inho drifted off. He didn’t want to ask for money again.
“What is it? Did they catch the guy that hit you? What do you need?”
“Oh, nobody hit me. I hit a parked car.”
“Inho. Were you drunk? You know better than that.”
“Not drunk, no, I was just distracted, and it was late. But listen...there was a problem with my insurance… a friend here had to pay my hospital bills.”
“Oh my goodness! That’s terrible! Do you need money? Tell me how much.”
Inho grimaced, “Yeah, It’s a few thousand. I’ll find out the exact amount.”
His dad sighed on the other end, “Okay, send me the number. I’ll wire it over.”
“...Thanks, dad.”
“Is Jamie looking after you? Are you sure I shouldn’t come now?”
Inho blinked, he forgot he hadn’t told his dad about Jamie, “Uh yeah, she is. She’s taking really good care of me. You don’t need to come.”
“Well, I was going to visit soon anyway. I know you’re never going to come see your old dad. I’ll be there Saturday okay? Goodness, I’m glad you had such a good friend to pay your bills.”
Inho couldn’t find a way to convince his dad not to come, so he agreed, said goodbye, and hung up.
Inho felt like garbage for lying to his dad. Beom Kim was a good person; he worked hard, and he was always kind, friendly, and warm. He made a lot of sacrifices for the family. Inho knew his dad had a really tough time being in America alone, but when Inho’s grandfather got sick back in Seoul and needed full-time care, Inho, his mom, and his sister had packed up and left Seattle in the past. In a way, it was like they had left Inho’s father in the past too.
Sure, he visited often, but it just wasn’t the same. Inho wondered if he regretted his decision to stay. Before Inho was born, when his parents still lived in Korea, they hadn’t been well off, and now his dad managed a large team. Their lives were much easier and he was an extremely dedicated worker but…
Inho pulled the blankets over his nose as more guilt twisted in his gut. He recalled Stephen’s questions about his family. Inho honestly had no idea how his dad felt about gay people. Seattle was pretty progressive, but… Inho knew he would definitely be telling his dad more lies because he was a coward. His dad really...deserved a better son.
