dogshitjay
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86: Childhood Friend
🕑 Added 2021-05-15 01:36:40 +0000 UTCMs. Chowdhury handed Stephen his tea. She started each of their sessions with a soothing brewed offering. Stephen was completely aware that he was acting too suspicious towards her, but he couldn’t help it. The idea of letting someone poke around in his deepest failings and insecurities was almost more than he could bear.
He also knew that the offering of tea was intended to lower his guard, and despite knowing it, he felt himself slowly getting more comfortable. He gave her a sidelong look while he sipped. He was here with a purpose though, and he had to admit in some ways she was helping. She also made good tea; he slurped harder, and she looked up from her tablet.
“We talked about your family last time, and I’d like to delve deeper into that, but first, lets circle back to the reason you came, since that is foremost on your mind.” She took a sip of tea, “Your partner has not responded to any of your messages?”
“No.”
“Is it in your plans to try to reconcile with him?”
“No, of course not. That would be ridiculous.”
*****
Min’s revelation was so shocking that it almost distracted Inho from thinking about Stephen’s texts and missed calls. Almost.
He rolled over on the couch letting his head hang off the seat and putting his legs up over the back. He’d finished the hospital visits for the day, made dinner, and cleaned up. Now, he finally had time to digest the events from the night before.
Min had confessed to him, and he’d nearly missed it. Goddamn, I need to stop drinking so much.
Min had confessed. Min… Min? The same Min who had let Inho and the others copy his homework a hundred times? Who practically lived at Inho’s house on summer break, staying up all night eating fried snacks and playing Zelda on this very couch? Clumsy Min who studied til his nose bled, rarely laughed and never cried?
That Min...liked Inho? Does that mean Min’s gay? He wondered, All this time and I never knew… Min had said it started in high school, that was like a seven year crush at least. For all that Min was the calm sensible one in the group, he’d been holding in something wild for so long. Inho could barely wrap his mind around it, and the thought tickled.
Min must be stressed now; he’d effectively come out last night, and Inho hadn’t even been able to tell him he was fine with it. Am I fine with it? Obviously, Inho didn’t care that Min was gay, but… After burning all his bridges back home, these were his last friends, and his closest. If he rejected Min and it destroyed their whole friend group, he’d really have nobody left.
Stephen’s inexplicable friendship with Chris came to mind. Stephen had cut out his family too, and his other friend had died, he would have truly been alone without Chris. The newfound understanding gave him a pang.
Min wasn’t a crap person though, so this was different, he decided. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship, and he didn’t want to hurt Min either. He should call him. He drummed his heels on the back of the couch. This was all so uncomfortable, he just wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened.
Not for the first time, Inho wished he could talk things over with Jasmine. Remembering their argument made him cringe. He should resolve that too, but for once, he decided with a spark of self-awareness, he should address a bad situation before it imploded. Min came first.
Trouble was, he really didn’t want to turn on his phone. Stephen’s texts were still there like broken shards of glass, waiting to cut him if handled.
With a stroke of genius, he grabbed the landline from it’s cradle and ran up the stairs.
Sitting at his childhood desk, he called a number he had memorized a decade earlier. The phone rang, and with each ring his tension mounted. By the time Min’s voicemail kicked in he was sweating in his seat. He hung up without leaving a message, and leaned his chair back onto two legs, balancing it. All that build-up for nothing, and he had nowhere to put his thwarted tension, he filled his cheeks and blew the air out in quick puffs.
Then his laptop lit up with a message, and he fumbled to check it. It was from Min:
Sorry I’m in a meeting, but everything is fine, and I’m not upset. Let's talk later so you have time to think. Please consider what I said.
Inho pursed his lips. Classic Min, as reasonable as always. But, what was there to think about? Inho couldn’t imagine dating Min. Not that he’d tried… Junseo said he needed to date someone new to get over Stephen. He tapped his fingers on his chin. Was it really that weird?
Min had asked him to consider and it was the least he could do…
He left his desk and flopped onto his bed to give it some serious thought. Kissing Min would be… okay, he supposed. It didn’t gross him out to picture it. Cuddling with Min? He squeezed his quilt uncomfortably, but it wasn’t awful to think about. They’d slept in the same bed lots of times growing up. He wondered if Min had felt strange about that in the past.
Touching Min… Min naked, Inho’s mind shied away a bit. Too soon to broach that he decided. There was a week to think about it, and it didn’t have to be Min. Truly, someone random would hold a lot less potential for disaster. Dating a friend as a rebound was objectively a stupid idea, even for him. Stupider than dating your ex girlfriend’s boss. Yet, Min had been earnest in his confession, and Inho thought it was only fair to give him a chance.
Finally, he replied to Min’s message: Ok, I’ll think about it. And I don’t think you’re disgusting. He hit enter, then reread what he wrote.
Goddamit, why do I talk? I shouldn’t be allowed. He chewed his lip and started typing again, then quickly hit send before Min could say any thing else: Cuz you’re gay I mean. I’m fine with it.
Okay...thanks. Came the reply.
Inho shrugged, it wasn’t how he’d been hoping that would go, but it would have to do. Junseo had asked him to cover some shifts at his part time job while he was doing exams, so Inho messaged him for the schedule, and when Junseo reminded him about the group date next week, he agreed to go with little consideration.
