Tushar Srivastav
patreon
Chapter 33: Whiskey and Wounds
🕑 Added 2025-07-08 18:30:02 +0000 UTCThe house had fallen quiet in the way only old houses do — where every sound carries history, and every silence feels earned. Upstairs, the soft, muffled hum of Zoey’s lo-fi music played through the door that didn’t quite latch right. Down the hall, Ayaan’s voice rose in bursts of numbers and server specs, speaking more to himself than to the air. Somewhere in the attic, a pipe clicked with the slow exhale of a long day.
And in the kitchen, under the amber hush of a single pendant light, Rishi stood barefoot, still in the black shirt he’d worn to the pitch meeting. He didn’t move for a while — just stared at the bottle behind the flour bin, the one he kept for nights like this. Not the celebratory bottle. Not the good scotch he reserved for company. This was the bottle for quiet reckonings.
He poured a glass. He didn’t drink. He waited.
Behind him, in the shadow of the archway, Maya appeared — not so much entering the room as folding into it, her presence soft but unmistakable. She leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, hair tied back like she hadn’t meant to come downstairs, but found herself there anyway.
“I didn’t expect you to be up still,” she said.
Rishi poured another glass. He didn’t turn around when he said, “Neither did I.”
He slid the second glass across the island without looking. She came forward and took it, her fingers brushing the rim as if testing the moment for sharp edges. They sat on opposite stools, not quite facing each other, but close enough that the space between them felt occupied by more than just wood and silence.
“I transferred the first two million this afternoon,” Maya said quietly. “Dev will have it by morning.”
Rishi nodded. Slowly. Thoughtfully. He didn’t meet her eyes.
“That’s a lot of money,” he said. “On top of what you already put in for the film. And the post. And… everything.”
“I know,” she replied.
There was a pause that could have held a dozen questions. He chose one.
“Why?”
Her laugh was almost a sigh. “Why not?” she offered at first. But the moment didn’t accept deflection. It waited for the truth. So she tried again. “Because I don’t know how else to be helpful anymore. Because I don’t know what else I’m allowed to offer.”
His expression didn’t change. But his stillness sharpened, the way it did when he was trying not to interrupt something important. He let her speak.
“I walk through this house and everything feels... borrowed,” she said, the words tumbling now, half-admission, half-prayer. “Zoey talks to you more than she talks to me. She looks for you when something’s wrong. She shows you her sketches. She plays her demos for you. I’m just—what? A cautionary tale about who used to be her mother?”
“That’s not fair,” he said gently.
Maya let out a quiet, bitter laugh. “Isn’t it? I left, Rishi. I left her. I left her alone. I left the wreckage and came back expecting it to be neatly organized in piles. And instead, you built something good. Something whole. Without me.”
Rishi’s voice was low. “Not whole.”
“Well, whole enough,” she said. “And now I’m the one trying to prove I belong in something I helped break.”
She looked down into her drink, swirling the gold around the sides of the glass. The ice barely clinked.
“I know what it looks like—throwing money at things. First, the film. Now this... Vidstream idea. I know what it feels like, too as if I’m trying to repurchase my way back into her life. Like I’m waving zeros in her face and saying, ‘See? I matter.’”
She swallowed hard.
“Maybe I am trying to buy her. Or maybe I’m just trying to give her something she doesn’t have to forgive me for. A future. A beginning.”
Rishi leaned back. His face softened — not with pity, never that — but with something quieter. Recognition. Familiar pain.
“She loves you, Maya.”
“She wants to,” Maya said. “That’s different. She wants to love me. But she doesn’t trust me yet. She shouldn’t.”
Her voice cracked, just enough for the truth to come through unfiltered.
“I watch the way she looks at you, Rishi—the way Ayaan does, too. Like you’re gravity. As if you’re the reason their lives take shape. And I want that. I want to see her look at me like that just once. To trust that I’ll stay. That I won’t run at the first sign of collapse. But she doesn’t. Not yet.”
A breath.
“Maybe never.”
And then, quietly, the whisper she didn’t know she’d been holding: “I’m not a bad mother because I made mistakes. I’m a bad mother because I keep trying to fix them with money. With gestures. With wires and transfers and gifts instead of time.”
She turned the glass in her hand. “And maybe this makes me worse. A woman who bankrolls startups hoping her daughter will say thank you like it means I forgive you.”
Rishi’s hand, weathered and steady, reached across the island and gently stilled hers.
“You’re not a bad mother, Maya,” he said.
“Yes,” she whispered, “I am.”
He shook his head. “You’re a mother who is still here. You came back. You stayed. You sat in this house and felt like an outsider, and didn’t run. That’s not nothing.”
Maya stared at their hands. His thumb gently brushed her knuckle — not romance, not nostalgia. Just presence. Just history.
Rishi said, “You didn’t walk out of this room. That’s the only thing that matters now.”
Maya’s eyes shimmered, but she didn’t look away.
He raised his glass.
“To stay in the room.”
Maya lifted hers quietly.
“Too trying,” she said.
They drank. Not in celebration. Not in closure.
But in the hope that maybe trying — honestly, vulnerably — could be enough.
At least tonight.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zoey had come down quietly, barefoot, following the sounds of voices — her mother’s voice, low and raw in a way she didn’t recognise. She paused on the steps, halfway into shadow, and the words drifted up to meet her: Maybe I’m just trying to buy her... Maybe I’m already a bad mother... Maybe I’m worse...
Zoey froze.
She hadn’t meant to listen. She didn’t know how not to listen.
A war started quietly inside her chest — a deep ache that pressed against her ribs and made her want to cry and run and comfort and scream, all at once.
She gripped the railing, breath shaky, one foot poised as if to step down and interrupt. But she couldn’t. Not yet. Not when her mother was speaking truth with that kind of ache in her voice.
So Zoey turned slowly, retreating upstairs like a ghost, eyes glassy, limbs weightless. She didn’t cry until she shut her bedroom door.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Sunlight spilt gently through the kitchen windows. Toast crackled in the toaster. Ayaan had already gone to tinker with Dev, leaving only Zoey and Maya at the table, two mugs of tea between them.
Maya’s voice was quiet but steady. “I’ve been called in. Another assignment. It could be two weeks, maybe three. But… I’d like to stay. If you want me to.”
Zoey didn’t answer right away. She looked down at her tea, steam curling over the rim like a breath held too long.
And then — without a word — she rose from her chair and crossed the space between them in two soft steps.
She hugged her mother.
Hard.
Tight.
The kind of hug that weighed it. Not forgiveness. Not absolution.
But something just as rare.
Permission, permission to stay.
Maya didn’t move at first, stunned by the contact, by the heat of her daughter’s arms around her ribs.
And then she wrapped her arms around Zoey and pressed her face into her hair.
This didn’t fix everything.
But it was, perhaps, a beginning.
And for once, Maya didn’t try to speak.
She just held on.
PREVIOUS INDEX NEXT
