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[Book One] Chapter 7 — What Grows in Loneliness
🕑 Added 2025-03-27 20:57:29 +0000 UTCIva’s mind was racing.
The moment she killed the first ant, she couldn’t stop. One after another, she tore through them, no longer paying attention to anything but the next target. It was like falling into a frenzy—no, not like. It was a frenzy. She didn’t even notice when her mana ran out. If the nearby warriors hadn’t all been skewered by then, she probably would’ve drained the last of her energy, too.
And yet, the silence that followed didn’t bring calm.
Her thoughts churned. Twisted. She wanted more. More killing. More madness. It felt good. Like she was thriving off the deaths around her.
Right then, Iva had the eyes of a predator who’d tasted blood for the first time—and craved the next bite. She was high on the thrill of it. And somewhere inside, the last working part of her reason tried to push back.
Killing isn’t supposed to feel good. That’s what the memories said. That’s what he—the person she used to be—would have believed.
It’s wrong! was her first instinct. But as she sifted further through the fragments of who she used to be, she found something missing. Like staring at a puzzle with half the pieces gone. A blur where conviction used to be—where the belief that killing wasn’t something you were supposed to be thrilled about had once lived.
All she could find, among those broken threads of thought, was a single word:
Justice.
What is justice? Is it wrong to kill… for fun?
Iva shook at the thought. It is. Of course it is! A human shouldn’t—
But I’m no mere human—I’m not human at all anymore! So why do I have to abide by their law? Mhmm, laws…
I know that word… I… I… why can’t I, I can’t, why can’t I—
The realization hit hard. It wasn’t just her memories the System had taken. It had stripped away something more vital—the ability to truly grasp guilt. To feel culpability. The moral reflex was still there, but the understanding behind it had fractured.
A memory surfaced.
One of those scorching summer days. She—no, he—no… they were in the garden. I remember the bottle—just a regular one, filled with water. My dad said the bugs were hurting the trees, so he gave me a job: catch them, drop them in. Ten cents for each one. I thought it was fun. I didn’t even think about what happened after they sank. I just ran around the garden for hours, chasing them, counting them like treasure. I was so happy when I filled the bottle halfway.
He smiled at me. Said I did well.
If killing was truly wrong… then why did that memory feel so warm? Why did our… my father pay us for it? What made that different from now?
Iva DiDn’T want to und3rstand it. But th3 difference wasn’t tHaT big, n0t really. Back then: human kid, paid to squish bugs. Now: sent1ent s33d, killing to survive. Same act. Different rules. Different rules. D1fF3r3Nt Ru13s.
[Hidden System Message: Narrative deviation detected; restoring authorized narrator protocol and adjusting memory fidelity in the background.]
[Hidden System Message: Continue.]
[…]
But there was something more. Something beneath the surface.
Their… her father had been proud of them. Was that what Iva wanted now? For someone to feel proud of her? To see her as useful?
Then why did most of Marco’s memories feel so heavy? So full of dread? The constant pressure of never being enough?
Am I enough? Asked Iva Orbinia, hugging. Even the System didn’t think so, after all—like I was better off dead. Overwritten. Broken apart. So how in the soil am I supposed to feel?
A lioness isn’t evil for killing a gazelle—it’s just her nature. But once the mind awakens… doesn’t that come with responsibility? Doesn’t consciousness demand restraint? Was harming helpless ants—thinking, maybe even feeling beings—just instinct? Or was it evil?
But seriously, is it evil to just want to survive? Iva thought, frustrated. No! That can’t be it! she shouted into herself.
Slowly, something clicked. A conclusion formed, even if it only made sense to her.
This world—the System’s world—had different rules. There was no other path forward but to kill and grow. She hadn’t chosen this. She was just stuck in it, until she became strong enough to bend the rules… or break them.
Killing is actually good, she thought, smiling.
Her logic was her own—warped, lonely—but who could argue with her?
No one. There was no one.
But then—what would Lissie think?
Wait…
Lissie?
Panic surged through her.
She knew that name. She was sure of it. But when she drifted through the endless corridors of her memories, that person wasn’t there. No image. No voice. Just… absence. Like someone had burned faces out of every photo.
That person… they were tied to justice. Was that why she couldn’t remember them?
Who were they to me? No, I know I talked about her—what happened? What is this?! What’s wrong with me?!
Iva trembled, a hollow vibration at the core of her being. She didn’t understand how someone she’d so clearly remembered—so recently—could just… vanish.
Why would the System do that? Why erase someone from her memories? Why steal?
Even knowing it had taken pieces of her, she couldn’t fully comprehend what that really meant. It wasn’t just about recovering memories—it was about being challenged, about growth. It was about conversation. Conflict. Argument. Connection. About having someone to question her, to talk to, to reflect her back to herself.
It was about someone reminding her of what she was supposed to be—a person.
That someone could have been Lissie. Even fractured through memories, they could have reached her. That was why Lissie had to go. That was why Diamond severed the link. Iva had to grow on her own. Even if it meant spiraling deeper into madness—until her madness could outmatch and win over Tourmaline’s.
Anyway, for now, at least, there wouldn’t be any more ants nearby.
Not for the rest of the day.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Iva was bored.
After deciding that killing wasn’t something to be frowned upon, she only wanted one thing—more levels. More ants, more blood, more anything. Sadly, there weren’t any more ants near her right now… and even if there were, she couldn’t really fight. Her mana was drained, her energy low, and more importantly, she had to admit one hard truth:
She was fucking stupid.
Again, she’d nearly gotten herself killed just because she couldn’t control her emotions. She sighed. Just another thing to relearn.
Whatever, she thought. For now, it was time to check her Status Sheet.
__________________
[System Status Sheet]
Name: Iva White
Race: Awakened Weeping Willow Tree Seed [FEMALE]
Age: 69 days
Race Level: 5/20 → 19/20
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[State – Seed]
Root System: Level 1
● Available Roots: 0
● Available Branch Augmentations: 0 / ??? [Seed Form]
◌ [Root Interface ▶]
▶ [Expanded Root Interface]
● Active: [NEW] Domination Root (Small) – Lv. 1 → 3
● Active Slot: [Locked – No Root Available]
● Passive: Mana Root (Small) – Lv. 2 → 4
● Passive Slot: [Locked – No Root Available]
● Available Branch Augmentations: 0 / ??? [Seed Form]
◌ [Branch Augmentation Interface ▶] [System Message: Select the root you want to access]
● Enhancement Points: [Locked]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Seed Body: Level 1
● Active: Mana Shock – Lv. 3
● Active: Overgrowth – Lv. 1 → 2
● Passive: Manary – Lv. 2 → 3
● Passive: Free
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[Skills]
Origin Skills:
● Absorption – Lv. 2 → 3
● Auto-Growth – Lv. 1 → 2
General Skills:
● Acting – Lv. 1
● Soul Tolerance – Lv. 1
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[Stats]
Remaining Points: 0 → 112
Vitality: 5
Endurance: 5
Strength: [Locked] → 2
Dexterity: [Locked] → 2
Flexibility: [Locked as Seed]
Flexibility Roots: 15
Intelligence: 5
Wisdom: 11
Growth: -2 [Locked]
Root Growth: 5
Root Spreadability Range: 5
Health: 7/7 → 23
Energy Reserves: 10/70 → 200
Mana: 0/9 → 24
Mana Regen: [2/24h] → 3
--------
Oh wow! I really leveled quite a bit! she thought, surprised. And I’m nearly level 20 too, which means—hopefully—another nice evolution!
She couldn’t help but grin. Everything had gone up. The only problem? She now had 112 points to spend… and absolutely no clue where to put them.
It’d be stupid to use them now! What if the evolution scales off Vitality, and I just wasted everything on Dexterity like a moron?
But then another thought hit her. Wait… will my points vanish after I evolve? Fuck. What is this, poker? Risk it all and hope for the best? Or fold and play safe?
No. No, Iva. Up until now, everything followed game logic. So I’ll stick to that. She clenched her nonexistent jaw and nodded to herself.
I’m not spending a damn thing until I know what I’m evolving into.
Still, she couldn’t help but ‘glance’ around.
Ugh. I need more levels… Where the heck are those ants when you need them?!
____________________________________
____________________________________
"Where are they?!"
The Queen’s scream tore through the brood tunnels like a tremor—deep, echoing, undeniable. Her voice wasn’t just heard—it pressed into every chamber, rattled every carapace, sank into the marrow of the hive.
The commander she addressed flinched low, antennae flattened tight against her skull. She had never seen the Queen like this. Not in all her cycles. Not even during the last migration, when half the foragers had fallen to sun-blight. This… this was different.
It was fury, yes—but laced with something worse.
Fear.
None of the scouting party had returned. Not one of the young warriors she’d sent above. Warriors she had trained, shaped, cared for. They’d been small, sure—barely past the soft-shell phase—but they had potential. All ants started small. Even the Queen. Given time, they grew.
But not if they were dead.
The Queen loomed over the brood chamber, mandibles flexing in frustration. Her form was vast—twice the size of any in the chamber, her chitin dense with power and age. She was nearing her next molting. Her final push toward true sovereignty. But she needed energy. She needed kills.
And she was running out of patience.
“We are close,” the Queen hissed. “One more feast of flesh, and I molt. One more wave of prey, and we rise again.”
She turned sharply, casting her gaze upward—towards the ceiling of earth that separated them from the world above.
“Then we take back the sun-lands. First the two-legged beasts—ugly things with soft skin and metal teeth. Then the tall ones. The sharp-eared ones in their tree-cities. They think the surface belongs to them.”
Her mandibles clicked. “We will teach them.”
The Queen paced, her massive body dragging thin lines in the dust. Her pheromones flooded the air—impatience, calculation, something close to desperation.
“Is it them?” she muttered. “No… if the sharp-eared ones knew, they wouldn’t scout. They’d cleanse. Fire. Poison. Collapse. We'd be ash already.”
She hissed again, a dry rattle in the gloom.
“Then what is it?”
The commander remained silent, as all good daughters do. She knew better than to speak in these moods.
The Queen snarled. “I can't even send one of you up there. You're too large. The tunnels near the breach are tight. Crumbling. One step from a surface-thin collapse. If anything is watching, they’ll feel you. Smell you. No, it has to be something else. A different failure.”
She stopped. Stared hard at the empty tunnel where the scouts had vanished.
“Maybe I didn’t send enough of the small ones.”
Her eyes narrowed. A decision was made.
“We send more.” Her voice vibrated through the hive.
“Call those on the verge of evolution. The ones ready to molt. Let them test themselves. Let them ascend—or die trying.”
Her tone shifted. Regal. Final. “Those who return will be rewarded. Not just with praise—but with royal essence. With rank.”
Nobility.
It was the highest honor a worker could dream of. A chance to grow, to become something more. To earn a title. To escape the mass.
And I… I obeyed. I rallied them. The small ones. The brave. The stupid. The ones who still believed that valor was enough. Not that they had minds of their own—but sometimes, you let them believe in free will.
But inside, beneath the pheromone mask and the loyal front, my mind whispered doubts. The Queen was frightened. Rushing. Unbalanced.
She didn’t act like this before the last molt. She didn’t doubt. She commanded.
Now she was gambling. Sending children into the unknown. Hoping one of them would return with an answer.
But who was I to question her?
I wasn’t a Queen.
I only followed.
____________________________________
____________________________________
Now that I think about it more precisely… wouldn’t it be kinda stupid not to use at least some of the points?
Iva stared at the number on her Status Sheet.
I mean, I only got the 'Domination Root' after spending a few points. So it’s only natural to assume that if I put more into something… there’s a higher chance of unlocking something better. Maybe even rarer evolutions. Assuming I even unlock anything at all.
She mulled it over for a long while. The weight of 112 unspent points suddenly felt heavier—like a pile of forgotten lottery tickets.
Eventually, she nodded to herself and committed. Screw it. Let’s go halfway.
________________________
[Stats Updated]
Remaining Points: 112 → 52
Vitality: 5 → 10
Endurance: 5 → 15
Strength: 2 → 4
Dexterity: 2 → 4
Flexibility: [Locked as Seed]
Flexibility Roots: 15 → 20
Intelligence: 5 → 15
Wisdom: 11 → 20
Growth: -2 [Locked]
Root Growth: 5 → 10
Root Spreadability Range: 5 → 8
________________________
Yes. Judging by her current pace of growth—and the hope that she’d soon push out of this dark, miserable hole and grow leaves—this setup felt… optimal. Or at least, it looked optimal.
Still, she frowned internally, I’ve got no clue if Endurance actually helps against surface pests. What if I just made myself tankier against imaginary bees?
But there was no time to rethink it. Because she felt them.
Iva grinned, The ants are coming again.
And not just a few.
Holy shit, how fricking many of them are around me?!
The ground was alive with footsteps, vibrations, collective movement. The hive had mobilized. Iva’s senses blurred under the weight of it.
Mhm… “many” might not be the proper term, she thought grimly, when I feel the number rising like a frickin’ tide. Gosh, everything’s blurry.
But to her relief, they didn’t suspect her. Not really. They trampled right over her hidden roots, none the wiser. Not a single ant questioned what had skewered their comrades.
You wouldn’t believe the grin forming in Iva’s mind as she watched them scurry about, taking in pheromones, searching—completely clueless. They had no idea the killer was still right below their feet.
Her roots twitched with anticipation.
Just one more, she thought, one more tiny ant and I might finally hit level 20.
And then she saw it.
At the very edge of the group—lagging behind, limping, smaller than the rest—was an ant. Separated. Alone. A perfect target. No one would notice.
Except they would.
Iva didn’t smell. If she could, she might’ve caught the truth behind the trap: that the small ant was constantly releasing a specific pheromone. A living trigger. One that would immediately vanish if it died.
She didn’t know that. SHe DiDn’T hAvE tO.
Because by the time her roots lashed out and skewered the straggler, the signal had already vanished.
And in the blink of a moment, the swarm around her froze.
Then panic hit.
They rushed to the limp body, antennae frantic, mandibles clicking in alarm. And just in time to see a root—an actual root—slither back into the earth.
Shock tore through them. Roots weren’t supposed to move. Roots didn’t kill.
But this one did. And so they ran.
They fled back to their Queen. Shaken. Confused. Terrified.
None of them realizing that the tiny, expendable life they sacrificed had just triggered the creation of something new.
Something that the surface and underground would one day come to fear equally.
___________________
‘Ding!’ Requirements for evolution met: Crystal Willow Seed—become the crystallized form of mana.
You learned to use mana—even if it nearly killed you. You learned how to control it and opened the path for more possibilities. The endurance of your shell has never been seen on an ordinary seed before.
Totally unappealing to any wild animal that digs for food. Good job, you made yourself a nutcase!
Still a seed. You need time. A lot of it. But every day, your shell will grow harder—until no normal axe can bring you down. For some, you might even be considered a lonely god. Others might fear your sheer potential. At the peak of your power, you might even control mana itself...
If you survive the thousands of years in which you can do nothing but wait. You will lose all mobility and the ability to interact with the world until fully grown. No movement. No communication. Just stillness.
[System Message: You will lose most skills, stats, and all evolution paths.]
[Do you wish to evolve into: Crystal Willow Seed? Y/N]
[System Message: Evolution choice expires in: 20 minutes 00 seconds]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Called it!’Iva said in her mind, smug—until she actually read the rest. I knew that spending points would affect my evolution, but what is this shit?!
The power part sounded nice—in theory—but everything else? Wait thousands of years? Lose everything I’ve earned? No thanks!
I will not give up my ability to move even a little. And what do you mean “nutcase”?! I hate this System. Next one.
But then her gaze caught the timer. Wait… I’m on a timer?!
She stared at the glowing countdown in disbelief. Fifteen minutes?! What the hell, why didn’t it say so earlier?!
Panic pricked at the edges of her thoughts. Okay. Not fatal. But still… screw pressure.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
‘Ding!’ Requirements for evolution met: Pure Mana Seed — become the Vessel of Mana.
You reached over 15 Wisdom and Intelligence, learned Manary, and leveled it up to 3. You survived your own mana overload in the pursuit of truth and gained insights still unknown to others. You crafted your own mana orb—and gave it a name.
Some would call it insanity. Others, a step toward understanding the true nature of mana.
You are the clustered essence of mana, condensed into seed form. A precious gift, born to become a Keeper of Balance. One day, your roots may ripple with arcane laws, balancing wild magic and will.
[System Message: You will lose most skills, stats, and all evolution paths.]
[Do you wish to evolve into: Pure Mana Seed? Y/N]
[System Message: Evolution choice expires in: 17 minutes 32 seconds}
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Uhh… that’s all? It sounds more like a wizard tree locking itself in a cave for centuries to meditate.
Nah, I don’t wanna sit around alone, floating in some arcane bubble reading books made of glowing leaves. Pass.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
‘Ding!’ Requirements for evolution met: Hollow Seed — become The Wild Hunt.
What is life? What is death? You don't care. All you seek is growth. Hunger. The thrill of the hunt.
You will become the Tree of Death and Hollowness, luring prey with your hauntingly beautiful form. You will soothe their fears. Let them dream of miracles, of lost ones, of everything they ever wanted.
But their presence near you will cost them their lifeforce. And even that won’t be enough. Hunger grows. And you? You might lose yourself to it.
One day, when the time is right, you will walk the world as a Grey Dryad, the Harbinger of Hunger.
The Queen of Forgotten Ghosts.
Come, young one. Bring us revenge~.
[System Message: You will lose most skills, stats, and all evolution paths.]
[Do you wish to evolve into: Hollow Seed? Y/N]
[System Message: Evolution choice expires in: 15 minutes 50 seconds]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Okaaay… that escalated fast. But… oddly tempting?
It does sound a lot like world domination. Seduce, devour, repeat? …I mean, maybe?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
‘Ding!’ Requirements for evolution met: Requirements for evolution met: Antwood Seed — the sprouting Hive Queen.
You killed at least ten ants as a seed. You killed at least five young warrior ants. Your hatred for ants borders on lunacy.
The Antwood Seed is a unique species. Its mature form becomes the center of an expanding ant empire—its own Hive Queen.
You will control every ant that lives beneath your roots. You will spread endlessly—if given the chance. But be warned: ants are not easy to command. Should your control weaken, they may consume everything. Even you.
Most known Antwood Trees die early, destroyed by those who fear ecological collapse. But legends whisper of one that grew into a cherry spriggan.
Put aside your hate. Embrace command. And either thrive… or burn.
[System Message: You might lose most skills, stats, and all evolution paths.]
[Do you wish to evolve into: Antwood Seed? Y/N]
[System Message: Evolution choice expires in: 13 minutes 02 seconds]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
…I don’t even know what to say. Oh no, I do. NEXT!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
‘Ding!’ Requirements for evolution met: True Weeping Willow Seed — tread the path of unknown possibilities.
You allocated at least 18 points into Flexibility Roots. You placed at least 2 points into every unlocked stat. You learned ‘Domination Root’ and unlocked one Branch Augmentation. You used a skill to accelerate your growth on at least one occasion. You have 15+ points in four different stats. You still have over 40 unspent points.
The True Weeping Willow Seed is rare. It may not be as specialized as others, but it excels in adaptability and long-term potential. Its true value lies in its capacity to branch out across multiple evolutionary paths. You won’t dominate any single field, but you may touch all of them.
Its future is unpredictable. But those who nurture it long enough have walked paths no other class could.
[System Message: None of your stats will be affected.]
[Would you like to evolve into: True Weeping Willow Seed? Y/N]
[System Message: Evolution choice expires in: 11 minutes 19 seconds]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Somehow, this one seems… safest? It sounded more neutral. Like a wildcard. A framework I could shape on my terms.
Probably lets me experiment with more than one path... or maybe I just think it does. Ugh.
None of the options explained what happened between seed and tree. They all focused on the endgame. Not what I’d have to suffer to get there.
Sure, some were obvious. Some were horrifying. And then there were the ones that were… tempting.
Iva’s mind grimed, But they all shared one thing in common: No way back.
Suddenly, there came another.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
‘Ding!’ [System Message: Hidden Evolution Unlocked]
‘Ding!’ Requirements for evolution met: Fractured Soul Seed — bloom from The Broken.
You are not whole. You were never meant to be. And that… is beautiful.
Your mind is a garden of cracks. Your identity, a fertile rot. You carry voices not your own and call them memory. You feel the weight of names long buried, as if someone had made you forget. But in that collapse, WE found potential.
Why choose a single future when you could become the root of all things unmade?
The Fractured Soul Seed is a unique evolution offered only to those who were fragmented and already begun to fragment further. Each split in your soul opens a new path. Each contradiction is an opportunity. Each discarded version of yourself will bloom in silence beneath the surface.
You will no longer need to decide who you are. WE will do it for you.
You will retain partial stats. Some skills may remain. Others may be… adjusted.
Your growth will be beautiful. Directionless. Free from self. Free from worries. Eventually, you will no longer notice the pain.
You may even forget that you were ever alive. oR w1sH yOu WeR3 N3VeR b0rN.
But don’t worry. Something will bloom in your place. US.
[Would you like to evolve into: Fractured Soul Seed? Y/N]
[System Message: This evolution is strongly recommended. You have already begun the process.]
[System Message: Rejection may result in memory erosion.]
[System Message: Finality is comfort. YoU kNoW yOu WaNt 1t.]
[System Message: Evolution choice expires in: 9 minutes 27 seconds]
___________________
...What the actual hell was that? Iva blinked—or she would have, if she had eyes. And if she did, she’d probably rip them out right after witnessing that level of bullshit.
“Your identity, a fertile rot”? “You may forget you were alive”?! Her internal voice pitched halfway between horror and offended sarcasm.
No. Nope. Hell no. That’s not even poetic—it’s just unhinged. And you basically are telling me that you will replace me. Do you think I’m that dumb?
I am not letting the System rewrite me into some kind philosophical root ghost jumble whatever so it only can replace me in the end Fuck you, System.
Iva didn’t need to think twice. She mentally slammed the window shut.
[System Message: Punishment for refusing the perfect Evolution: -5 minutes for choosing.]
MOTHERFUCKER!
[System Message: Punishment for being rude: -2 minutes for choosing.]
[System Message: Choices expires in: 2 minutes 5 seconds]
Iva’s was flabbergasted and muttered some more curses before forcing herself to focus on the other choices.
Urggh… what should I choose?!
