Calm Wanderer
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(AKJ) Chapter 95 - Inner Demons
🕑 Added 2025-01-03 10:48:08 +0000 UTCMolvograd, Molkovia, Earth.
Demian's P.O.V.
An instant later, he felt a layer of familiar Energy covering his body, stopping him from moving completely, giving him enough time to recover his sanity. With his mind back to ‘normal’, he found himself in a punching position a meter away from where he was previously seated, his fist halfway from Roman’s head with no way for the latter to react to Demian’s sudden attack. Fortunately, Seraphine’s inhuman reflexes and the young man’s subconscious reluctance to hurt his woman unintentionally were enough to stop him from turning Roman’s handsome face into an unwanted gory spectacle. Realizing the huge mistake he had almost made brought some cold sweat to his back, although his face stayed as calm as it was at the beginning as if he had not (unwittingly) almost murdered his own father. ‘What the fuck is wrong with me? I don’t understand why my emotions keep getting out of control lately. Am I going insane? Wait! Negative emotions going haywire and Cultivation... Doesn’t it sound like those Inner Demons I’ve read about in the past...?’ He pondered for a brief instant before saying out loud in a serene tone. “You can let me go, Love. I’m much calmer.”
Instantly, the layer of Shadow Energy covering him disappeared, leaving him free to move again. Noticing the glint of fear in his father’s eyes, Demian felt a slight tinge in his heart, prompting him to say. “My emotions have been a bit out of control lately. Apologies.” He then turned back toward Seraphine, sitting himself by her side while noting the slight frown on her face and the worries transmitted through the Bond. Taking a deep breath to stabilize his emotions, he then moved her gaze in her direction and stated softly, trying to reassure her. “I’m okay, Love. You don’t have to worry anymore.” Shaking her head, she lightly bit her lips for a second before declaring firmly. “No. There’s definitely something wrong. There’s no way that you losing control like that and almost killing your own father is normal. I know you well enough that you wouldn’t do that normally. There has to be something else going on...”
Although the worry did not vanish from her mind, her frown disappeared, probably due to noticing him regaining his mind. Instead, she had that pondering look on her face, making it clear to him that she was trying to find an explanation for his current situation. Despite having an inkling as to why he behaved that way, Demian chose to keep silent in case she could find a reason different from him experiencing ‘Inner Demons’. After all, not only were novels different from reality, but even among them, a lot of minor or even major details differed, making it hard to guess what could be directly applied to reality. At most, he would be more adaptable to new situations that involved anything cultivation-related. Lost in their thoughts, it was only when they heard the sound of sighing resounding in the quiet room that they regained their focus.
“Your situation sounds like a case of having a case of ‘Inner Demons’ eruption’.” Roman said while looking at them with the previous fear gone from his face. As his eyes met the older man’s, Demian noticed what seemed to be guilt and sadness in Roman’s gaze. Seeing the two looking in his direction, Roman specified. “I only have some fragmented knowledge about Inner Demons, so take what I say with a pinch of salt. But I’m sure Lord Anrepov should know a lot more than I do, so you better ask him later.” Nodding her head, Seraphine replied. “We will. But I’d like you to tell us what you know if you don’t mind. Please?”
With a light nod, he responded. “Of course. From what I heard, Inner Demons are those negative emotions that we, as Cultivators, bury deep inside our minds, which are nourished by Spiritual Energy. The longer you leave them, the worse they become. I also heard that powerful Cultivators’ Inner Demons are a lot deadlier than the ones at our Level. But that’s just hearsay... Anyway, just like what happened with you, Demian, those Inner Demons can wrestle away your body from you or even make you explode on the spot. Literally.” Despite Roman stating that all of that information was from unproven sources, Demian was pretty much certain of its authenticity, eliciting a thought from him. ‘Since Inner Demons exist, is there also a Heart Cultivation system besides the other three? If I’m not wrong, that’s the System that should relate to anything Will and Inner Demon related...’ He would have to explore that possibility very soon since his future plans did not include killing someone close to him due to a burst of uncontrollable anger or dying from a self-induced explosion. However, before looking for more information, he wanted to know more about his mother’s death and his own past, prompting him to instruct his father in a more neutral tone than previously. “Let’s leave that aside for now. I want to know the rest of the story.”
While gazing at his face, Roman nodded, took a deep breath, and then resumed the story. “When I heard Valentin’s offer, I refused at first. After all, I didn’t wish for my pregnant girlfriend to be experimented on like a lab rat, even if the benefits were extremely tempting. Not only would you, my son, have the chance of receiving some superpowers, but I’d also be able to become a true Cultivator, with every benefit that came with it.” The other two stayed silent, with Demian feeling slightly calmer after his previous outburst. “A few weeks later, I carelessly let it slip to Bella, and she became interested as well. She told me that if the procedure was safe enough, she wouldn’t mind receiving the serum. She believed that taking some calculated risks to get you some superpowers was acceptable. I would also become safer with my increase in strength...” After letting out another sigh, he added absentmindedly. “She always thought about others before herself... Something that seemed to run in the Mikhailov family...”
Shaking his head slightly, he then resumed his explanation. “With Bella’s approval, I looked for Valentin and asked for hard evidence of the procedure’s safety. He accepted immediately and took me to a facility where I met pregnant mothers who had received or were about to receive those serum injections. I not only chatted with some of them but also consulted many official reports from the lab explaining the entire process, from the initial criteria for test subjects to the final results of the experiments. I read everything multiple times, and what I found was pretty encouraging. Being injected with the Serum involved no serious risk for the mother. At most, she would feel weak for a few weeks before her health returned to normal. The baby risked a bit more, though the risk should not have exceeded a premature birth for it. That’s also why they would only inject the Serum during the third trimester and not before.”
While tapping her index finger on her soft cheek, Seraphine asked. “Do you know how effective that serum is? It shouldn’t work every time, or we’d have been swarmed with Supes by now.” Nodding his head, Roman responded. “You’re right. Out of a hundred babies, only 1 or 2 experienced some improvements on average, and among those, only a fraction could be considered as true Supes. The rest only received above-average physical attributes. Even those who successfully became Supes needed at least a few years or even decades for their physical qualities to grow completely. Most of the time, they would only be as powerful as someone at the Low and Mid Body Strengthening Levels upon birth. I’m not sure if their cultivation aptitude improved from the process though...” His voice turned thoughtful from the possibility.
While wearing a frown on his face, Demian commented doubtfully. “If it was so safe, why did something happen to Mom?” Shaking his head slightly, Roman responded. “I asked myself the same question many times after what happened... Unfortunately, Valentin cut off all communication as soon as Bella passed away, making it impossible to demand an answer from him. At least, not at that time...” Hearing Roman’s explanation, the young man’s previously frowning expression eased slightly before he asked rhetorically. “The Danilov Family?” Nodding his head, the older man specified. “Yes. I was only a Peak Body Strengthening Cultivator, and they had Foundation Building Cultivators. If I had gone against them at that time, they’d have crushed me like an insect. Even Valentin himself was already a Mid Chi Gathering Rank... Granted, I could’ve used modern weaponry to kill him, but even if I had been successful in killing the man, the result would’ve been the same. No answer, and a gruesome death. The four of you might have even been implicated by me. So I simply decided to leave you with Adeliya and investigate the truth by climbing the organization ladder...”
As those last words left his lips, a sliver of hesitation appeared briefly on his face before he seemed to have made a difficult decision. Gazing into Demian’s eyes, Roman then explained. “To be honest with you, leaving you with your Aunt wasn’t only to protect you.” Pausing his words for a second, the older man took a deep breath, after which he continued. “Because I’ve been raised in an orphanage, I never learned what it meant to be a good father, and raising a baby alone was terrifying for me. If Bella was with me, then I would have managed, but alone...” Listening to his words, Demian subconsciously clenched his fists but stayed silent as the other man had more to say. Shaking his head, Roman added. “I won’t pretend that my decision was mainly for you, that I knew that Adeliya would have done a great job raising you since she had already done so with her two daughters, or even the fact that your grandparents were around to help her as well... No, those would be just excuses and I’m tired of lying, to myself and... I guess to you too...”
As those words reached his ears, Demian closed his eyes to hide his misty eyes. “Am I just supposed to forgive you because of a few words from you?” The young man asked weakly, prompting Roman to shake his head lightly and reply. “Of course not. I just wanted to tell you the truth so you don’t make the same mistakes I did... Although seeing the two of you together, I don’t feel really worried anymore...” On the side, Seraphine declared matter-of-factly. “Don’t worry, Uncle. Even if Dem messes up, I’ll be there to help him. I’m his fiancée, after all.” Despite her apparent confidence, it took a lot out of her to say those words to Roman, something that Demian barely noticed because of the emotional roller coaster he had been on since the start of their chat.
With a wry smile on his face, Roman commented. “I don’t believe blood-related cousins can legally get married, though...” With a dismissive wave of her hand, she replied. “Who cares about legality? As long as we consider ourselves married, then we’re married. If we had to follow all those annoying rules, then what’s the point of cultivating, right?” Scratching his cheek, the older man asked doubtfully. “I guess you’re right. As long as the two of you are happy about it... By the way, is your mother okay with it?”
The question brought a mischievous smile to the Elven woman, prompting her to give an answer filled with hidden meaning. “Oh, she’s DELIGHTED about it, Uncle.” A small subconscious smile appeared on Demian’s face when he heard her words, amused at the woman’s playfulness. While the two were chatting away, the young man was doing his best to regulate his emotions, taking one deep breath after another until he finally felt himself in a relatively calm state of mind. Interestingly, from the experience, he felt as if some invisible weights vanished almost completely from both his mind and body, finally leaving him free to move around at will. Not only did his mindset improve, but he could also tell that his Body and Energy Cultivation received a slight boost, which washed away a lot of his melancholy. His attention, however, was quickly attracted by Seraphine’s next words. “That aside, Uncle. Did you find anything after all those years of investigation?”
With his curiosity stirred, Demian swiftly opened his eyes, noting the serious look on Roman’s face as the latter nodded and replied. “It took me years, but yes, I did. You won’t be surprised, but it was all due to the Serum Bella was injected with. Normally, as long as they used the tested version of the Serum, it should have been very safe. The thing is, Valentin apparently pushed the scientists working there to use the latest version on Bella without informing us. It was a version untested on humans.” Cocking his brow, Demian remarked. “From what I learned of the man, I’m not very surprised... So that version was a failure?” After a brief nod, Roman shook his head and explained. “Not exactly. Although every single pregnant woman injected with that experimental substance either did not survive or ended up with severe health problems, it was not the same for their babies. A few of the latter ended up with Low Tier 1 physiques as soon as they were born while the rest passed away in less than a few hours.” Pausing for a second as a confused look appeared on his face, he then looked at Demian’s face and added. “What’s strange is that you were the only baby who still survived despite receiving no benefit from the Serum.”
After pondering briefly, a possible explanation surfaced in his mind. ‘Could it be because of my Physiology Perk? But if that‘s the case, I shouldn‘t have stayed as weak as I did for 18 years. Protective mechanism maybe..?’ Shrugging his shoulders, he said out loud. “It might just be luck.” With a light nod, the older man replied. “Maybe. In any case, since your case was considered a failure, those researchers did not spend much time on your case before moving on to other successful cases.” Pausing for a second, he then shook his head while adding thoughtfully. “With what I know now, I’m glad it happened that way. Otherwise, you’d probably end up as a lab rat like those so-called superheroes we keep hearing about in the news.” Coking his brow, Demian asked curiously. “What do you mean?” As his gaze moved from the young man’s face to the young woman’s face alternatively, Roman explained. “Where do you think those Supes from the Crimson Patriots in the East and the Freedom League in the West come from?“
The young couple instantly understood his hint, with Seraphine exclaiming. “Are you saying that those people aren‘t the result of some random mutation but are pretty much made in a lab? All of them? Isn’t there any of them like us, though? Cultivators, I mean.” Shaking his head, Roman answered with a solemn look on his face. “What the two of you need to understand is that anything linked with Cultivation is forbidden. If found out by the authorities, you will quickly disappear. In some serious cases, your loved ones may even follow you in death.” With a slight frown on his face, Demian questioned, his face displaying his confusion. “That doesn’t make sense. If Cultivation is forbidden, then what about you who work for the Organizatsya? Or even those Families like the Danilovs? What about those novels about Cultivation?”
With a wry smile on his face, the older man responded. “Those are allowed because they’re made to not be taken seriously. The Crimson Circle even promotes them. After all, if you repeat something enough times, then most people will take it as true. That goes for the ‘Cultivation is made-up fantasy’ sort of statement. Truth is very relative, and those in power know how to use that fact well.” His words halted briefly before he added. “As for me and the Danilovs, we’re ‘officially’ allowed to become Cultivators by those people, so it’s fine. At least as long as we keep our situation out of the public. ‘Those who know, know. Those who don’t, don’t need to.’ That sort of thing.” After letting out a sigh, Demian remarked wistfully. “Even in a world with Cultivation, people at the top still try to control those at the bottom... Humans, I swear!”
The double meaning behind his words was lost on Roman, who was not aware of Demian’s previous life’s memories, although Seraphine seemed to have understood what he implied instantly if the knowing smile gracing her lips for a brief moment was anything to go by. The latter then turned toward the older man and asked. “Back to the previous topic. I’ve been wondering... Do you know who in the Crimson Circle ordered the launch of that experiment and why? I don’t really see the point since Cultivation exists already. It seems to be a lot of effort for little results.” Her question aroused Demian’s interest, prompting him to focus his attention on his biological father. Shaking his head, Roman replied. “There must be some higher-up behind the whole project because I couldn’t find any other information with my current position. As for the why... I can’t tell. It doesn’t seem to make sense, but I’m sure those behind it all wouldn’t do anything without a clear purpose...”
After those words left his lips, the three fell silent, lost in their respective thoughts. It was only after a while that Demian remembered that a few people were waiting for him and Seraphine, which prompted him to look at Roman’s face, his outwardly calm gaze hiding mixed emotions. “I’ve got the answers I was looking for, so we’ll be leaving now.” Startled, the older man asked. “Are you leaving right now? I... Right! They’re probably waiting for the two of you. You shouldn’t waste too much time here...” Seemingly debating about something, he added hesitantly. “Will you... I mean, do you know how long you’ll be gone from here?” The young man did not even know WHERE he was going, let alone for how long. So, he simply shook his head and replied, his tone a bit softer than at the beginning of their chat. “No. It should be a long time, though.”
Lowering his eyes for a brief moment, Roman seemed to regain composure as he said. “Whatever the case, don’t forget to take care of yourself and the girls.” With a brief nod, Demian’s only answer was: “I will.” He then turned back and, along with Seraphine, started walking out of his father’s office with no idea how long or even if he would be able to see him again. ‘And here I am feeling down about not seeing him when I almost killed him a few minutes ago... So strange...’ He thought wryly, his feet bringing him farther and farther from the human representation of his difficult past while pushing him closer and closer to what he expected to be an exciting future.
