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CHP 12: Yank vs London
🕑 Added 2023-12-21 14:48:55 +0000 UTCThe Sun hid behind the clouds, and a certain gloom hung about the brick and stone city of London. Mist rolled into the streets and with each breath, a cloud of condensation joined with the air. This was good, it hid the machinations of the Mage's Association that had it's headquarters in the city from the blissfully unaware public.
Alright, enough about the senile, elitist codgers that spent their time diddling to books ‘blissfully unaware’ of just how fucked they were if science kept progressing the way it was.
Kadoc Zelumpus rubbed his hands together and breathed into them as he watched a pale haired teenager with dead eyes help an old woman across the road, through traffic, with a small smile on his face.
The only problem was said teenager didn't care enough to look around at incoming traffic, and the speeding black van headed right for them even though the signal explicitly said not to do so.
"Nicholas!" Kadoc tried to warn him but it was too late.
Was this it?
Was his new friend going to become a splatter on the road?
Of course not, who did these people think they were dealing with?
"You blind?!"
Nicholas turned around faster than he had any right to and slammed a balled up fist into the vehicle's hood. A massive clang echoed throughout the mostly empty street, followed by a boom and a hoot as the teenager yanked out a piece of the engine.
Kadoc pursed his lips before sighing and hurrying over to his fellow Master, "I don't think I should but... Are you alright?" He should have seen it coming, but well, normal people didn't just punch cars and get to walk away without any injuries!
They were here in London because the Director had some business at the Clock Tower and Nicholas threatened to maim someone if he wasn't allowed to go outside. It was a good opportunity so the Director took them with her, assigning Kadoc to babysit the 'child' and make sure he didn't cause trouble.
Kadoc didn't know why Olga Marie Animusphere hadn't assigned Hinako even though she seemed willing but well, it was all good. He got to hang out with his 'bro'.
"I'm cool, check on granny." Nicholas glanced over his shoulder at the woman who was yet to understand what they were doing.
Kadoc nodded involuntarily, "Sur- Wait no! We were told to not cause a ruckus!" The young Master nervously looked around at the small crowd, "All these people are staring at us now..." He could see some of them reaching for their phones!
To make matters worse, the door of the van was kicked open and a man dressed in jeans and a puffy jacket blew his gasket, kicking open the door and staring at Nicholas from under a dark ski mask.
"Oi bruv! What the fook you think you're doin'?!"
"Hey Kadoc, do you know what he's saying?" The accent was too thick for Nicholas to make heads or tails of what the man was shouting.
Kadoc slowly nodded, "Um... You were the one spee-"
"You wanna get clipped boy?"
Kadoc looked back at the oblivious Nicholas for help, "It was you-..."
"Get out 'ere, lads!"
Kadoc could only purse his lips and watch in silence as the backdoors of the van were thrown open and nearly half a dozen more men burst out, dressed like each other but with a little variation in colour here and there.
"Now, cough up the damage!"
Kadoc closed his eyes to stop spit from going in them. Nicholas, standing behind him, finally understood what was going on when one pulled a knife out of his pants, he put a hand on the teenager's shoulder and gave him a silent nod before lightly shoving him behind and walking to the front as he took off his purple jacket.
"Boys, I'll speak this in a way you get it." Hot chicks like Olga would some times get warnings if he was feeling gracious enough, dumb fucks like these wannabe gangster would get railed, "Now..."
Nicholas inhaled deeply before a slight smirk crept onto his lips, "Sorry..."
"That's righ-"
"No hables dumb fuck."
"Whu-"
"Think fast chucklenuts!"
Nicholas threw a left hook at the man's face, flinging him through the air as many looked on with eyes wide in shock. He jammed his foot up another one's family jewels, "Anyone who's stupid enough to fuck you is gonna thank me later."
"Get 'im! He ain't gonna be so bloody tough with a knife up his fanny!"
Kadoc was brought out of his stupor by a gloved fist making way for his pale cheeks. He hastily moved his head to the side, stumbling over his feet and proving just why he wasn't noted to be particularly gifted when it came to physical prowess when he almost backed into the old lady who had indirectly started the whole encounter.
"Ge-....eeeeque..."
To his shock, the older woman swirled her purse and smashed into his assailant's prized jewels, "Runts, these stupid lot think they're amazing because they can stab people." She pinched Kadoc's cheek with a big smile, "They should be like you nice young men. Not many blokes rush to help their mates like you did."
"Even if..." The granny looked at Nicholas with pursed lips like Kadoc's own, "Well, he didn't really need the help."
The teenager in question was dusting his hands, having just bashed someone's head into the van, "Don't start fights you can't win."
Kadoc thanked the woman and ran over to his 'friend' with a small smile, visibly happy with her compliment, "We should leave before the police get here. I don't thi-"
The small crowd parted as two taller men in uniform approached, they looked at Nicholas and Kadoc who was trying to get him to run, then at the masked men lying on the ground unconscious and bloody with knives and daggers around them.
"Of course it's bloody yanks."
The obvious conclusion here was either was an altercation between two rival parties, or two teenagers had been attacked. Unfortunately, it didn't matter, for this wasn't a world where you could beat the ever living shit out of your attacker and walk away scot free if the damage you did was more than what was done to you.
Also because cops weren't nice most of the time.
"Alright Jim, take the shits in."
Scratch that, most of them were shitheads.
Now, the normal thing to do for a common man was to be as non-threatening as possible and calmly explain the situation in a station even if it was technically wrong for the victim to be the one harassed.
The normal thing to do for a magus was just mind fuck the whole crowd into oblivion and leave the scene.
"Nicholas, no."
"Try me, bitch."
Unfortunately for the cops, Nicholas wasn't a normal man or a normal magus.
-
Olga Marie Animusphere sat at a bench outside the British Museum, massaging her forehead.
The Clock Tower was supposed to be a 'welcoming' place for all to learn and thrive, it was actually just a place with elitist, discriminatory assholes to do as they wanted. The Lords that watched over it were just as much a pain to deal with.
The ones that would spit on your face were actually easier to deal with compared to the ones who were all smiles.
Before she could mull over various possible shortcomings regarding her visit and the first mission Chaldea was to undertake, Olga was drawn to one of the staff that came along hectically rushing her way, out of breath and haggard, with a phone in his hand.
The fat man came to a flimsy stop near her and went to his knees, "D...Director! I-It's Kadoc!" He held out the phone to her.
It couldn't be what she already knew it was, right?
Olga's eyes dampened in defeat as she put the device to her ear, and then opened wide in shock when sirens blared over it, "D-Director, is that you?!"
"What did he do?" The woman deadpanned.
"He got attacked!"
"What?"
That was hard to believe.
"By some, men in masks? Then the police came and tried to arrest us!" The young man spoke hurriedly.
Olga narrowed her eyes, "I trust you let them do it?"
They could just alter the memories of the officers and be done with the ordeal without any commotion but of course, this was Nicholas they were talking about.
"He didn't attack them right?"
"He did."
A vein popped out on her forehead as she raised a fist, gritting her teeth.
She'd heard wrong.
That was it.
It had to be!
...Right?
Please?
Olga Marie Animusphere wasn't really a woman of god but right now, she wanted to pray to everything out there.
"...Come again."
"He did. He attacked the police."
"Where are you right now?" Olga facepalmed hard enough that even Kadoc heard it and then dragged her hand down her face.
"In some cafeteria, over at East Lon-... Nicholas, no! Don't! Come on man, let's just run away!"
The Director of Chaldea forced herself to calm down and considered her options, "You have a cloaking spell, use it and tell him he can use the Fate system if he just leaves."
The Animusphere were one of the Twelve Lords that held dominion over the Clock Tower and by extension, the Mage's Association and the supernatural world, it was easy to have an incident removed for Lord Animusphere.
She would send some people over to deal with the aftermath. Olga wanted to hope the damages weren't too much but she knew better.
"...Director, Nicholas just threw an APC at the riot police."
"How is there a RIOT?!"
"The granny was part of some group or association, I don't really get it! I’ll put it on speaker!"
"WHAT GRANNY?!"
Olga didn't even care about the magi staring at her right now.
"DEATH TO THE OPPRESSORS! TOO LONG HAVE WE SUFFERED THE POLICE!"
What in the hell was going on out there?
.
.
To be honest, she didn't even want to know.
-
Thoughts?
Comments
SaffireSpirit13
Beautiful, this wonderful Chaos and rebellion against the police is just what Ice Cube would’ve wanted. FUCK THE POLICE!!! But in all seriousness, I’m really loving this story. Its comedy reminds me of ONE and his work. The absurd escalation from day to day activities and it just builds up over and over. Especially with how simple and straightforward the MC is, the more complicated the situation gets, the funnier it is when he solves it with his own brand of crazy.
