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CHP 54: Tutorial Moment
🕑 Added 2024-03-09 12:09:11 +0000 UTC"You've done well in coming this far! Let it be known that Vlad the IIIrd recognises you and those who follow as worthy foes! Allow me to praise thee! The way you've dealt with those under me is impeccable!"
Mordred regarded their newest enemy with a raised brow, utterly gobsmacked by the blonde man making a speech with open arms...
He was a monarch, she could see that much from the way he dressed and carried himself but not exactly a 'prim and proper' one... She could see THAT from the dread wafting off his form, dread that froze their men... There were also the black robes and the fucking blood on his pale ass lips not to mention the literal goddamed bleeding gash in his chest.
"Useless platitudes will get you nowhere." Her mother seemed to have a different opinion entirely, and answered flatly, drawing her blade, "Charge them, my men. Bring me their heads! All who stand between me and my snacks shall suffer!"
"""UWOOOOHHHH!!"""
Was he talking about those retarded skeletons and undead... or those dumbass lizards that thought flying face first into a broadsword was a good strategy?
The Knight of Betrayal brought her hand to her chin, narrowing her eyes in thought, "Well, I'll admit the placement would throw off some noobs and the bleeding and broken zombies were kinda unsettling but still... Vortigern did waaaaaay worse dude."
Her thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt when two lines of zombies and knights clashed, ripping through steel and flesh as they tried their damndest to stop the other.
"Well... I guess this is totally fine. Bet Master'll praise me a ton when we finish this singularity for him!" Giggling to herself, Mordred rushed off to join the battle... or rather, she rushed the enemy commander.
They'd already gotten a vampiric bitch and some messed up variant of that traitor Lancelot.
What was a vampiric bastard gonna do?
"EXCALIBUR MORGAAAN!!"
Oh... and there was a blonde twink standing near him.
-
Nicholas observed the sight before him with pursed lips, pressing together both his hands in silent concern.
Which was a weird thing to accept.
"You think... charging this..." He gestured to the rest of the Chaldean party comprised of a woman that could call on literal hellstorms, a Saint that physically beat the shit out of a literal dragon, a literal dragon, a village girl that toppled a fucking nation, a mascot for all of Chaldea and-, "Wait you know what, I'd kinda do it too but..."
Pausing for dramatic effect, Nicholas pointed at Gudako, "But she's here... Dunno what's going through yo head right now but that ain't a good idea in any world."
"It's just a bunch of ladies and a pretty boy! Get 'em boys!"
"Oh nah... I know you ain't calling me a pretty boy with that fake ass moustache." Nicholas walked up to the man before the probably deserters-turned-bandits could even draw their weapons, and ripped off the fake moustache like a bandaid, "I knew it!"
"AHHHHH!! NOOOOO!!" The man fell to his knees, screaming.
"The boss grooms that every day!"
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
Nicholas dumbly looked down at the dislodged chunks of hair in his hand before his face scrunched up.
"...I'm sorry."
"Hahahaha!! Serves you right, bitches!" Jeanne Alter cackled madly, drawing her big black sword, "Now get going before I decide I like roasted faggot."
"No no, wait a second..." Martha rushed forward, grabbing one by the shoulder before he could run away with the others and slammed him down on his back, knocking him up so hard the poor guy probably saw God, "Would you be so kind to tell us which direction Orleans is?"
The man hesitated for a moment but ultimately decided to make the smart choice and point at them, "T-There."
"So we been walking in the wrong direction?"
"The literal opposite it would seem, senpai." Mash explained dutifully.
"Gut feeling huh? I bet you're feeling really smart right now." Gudako chided Nicholas with a dumb smile, poking his back, "Come on! Let's get going already!" She grabbed her 'senpai' by the back of his shirt and started walking.
"...W-What happened to her?" Martha asked with a stutter, sweating profusely, "I feel... afraid?"
Nicholas sighed and followed along without complaint for once, "Character development... just in the wrong direction... Don't blame me if Chaldea suddenly gets like a hundred or sum servants outta nowhere."
The pale haired teenager proceeded to tune out everything that happened afterwards.
"Oh no... he's thinking."
They'd arrived in France some time ago and he still kinda wanted to get the hell outta there as soon as possible... He'd met Mozart, a hot goth chick, kinda got married, beat the shit out of big lizards and realised that there was nothing else here other than grass, peasants, grass, peasants, more grass and then some more grass and peasants...
Oh right, there was also the supposed hundred year long war going on that he'd seen fuck all about in his time here.
So, the only thing left to do was give the local rapist pedo kiddie diddler going around doing vile shit a well deserved punch to his face and leave... Wait, he also had to beat the shit out of whatever part of Lev and co was creeping around.
Marie had buggered off to help people in need and Mozard went after her cause she needed a nanny lest she shoot herself in the head.
"With my bow and arrows, I pray for the protection of the God Apollo and the Goddess Artemis."
"Get ready, something's coming!" Martha put a hand out in front of him, standing guard as her eyes shot from point to point while Mash slammed down her shield, getting ready to deploy her noble phantasm.
There was also that group of maddened servants Jeanne had summoned when she was in her arsonist phase.
"I offer thee this Calamity!"
"It's a noble phantasm!"
Azure flames formed a shield over them as Kiyohime stole glances at Nicholas, expecting praise.
"Hmmm..."
It looked like Yu just wasn't getting a chance to stretch her legs this time.
Man, he really wanted to meet this world's Atilla the Hun... maybe even Hitler...
Wait no, waifu Hitler was a terrifying prospect.
"Phoebus Catastrophe!!"
"Someone stop that dumbass from thinking!"
The sky shone for a moment before a hail of multicoloured projectiles came raining down on them, piercing through the earth before exploding with the force of repeated artillery barrages, morphing the vibrant grass fields into a hellscape in a testament of sheer destructive power.
What ended up protecting them was the body of Tarasque who groaned and roared from the pain of having a noble phantasm slam into it without anything between them... The dragon cast an annoyed glance at it's vanquisher before disappearing.
Martha smiled embarrassedly and offered a silent apology to her dragon, "Good boy, Tarasque."
"Huh..." Nicholas looked around confused.
"The fuck happened?"
"Senpai... You just shouldn't think that hard." Surprisingly, it was Mash who spoke out, patting Nicholas' shoulder with a shy smile, "Y-You could put yourself in a lot of danger."
"Awww... you care that much?"
The innocent girl nodded without hesitation.
"...Alright."
In doing so, she managed to embarrass Nicholas.
"Er... Can we get to the... well, the hostile servant?" The patron Saint of France became the voice of reason, "I don't think that was the end of it?"
Her questions were answered by a barrage of glowing projectiles that were blown away like plastic bags in the wind when Nicholas punched out at them, "Come out and face me like a man, no balls."
"It's probably Atalanta... yeah no, it's definitely her." Jeanne Alter helped out as much as she could, knowing it was her fault, "It's a thin green haired woman with..." She raised her hands and put them on her head, mimicking cat ears, "With cat ears."
Nicholas pointed at the distant treeline, "Like that one?"
"...How'd you find her so fast?!"
The pale haired teenager chortled and picked up a pebble, reeling his hand back before he lopped it at the enemy servant, catching her by surprise by virtue of sheer strength, knocking her out of her hiding spot... onto her ass as a befuddled expression formed on her face.
"...Can humans even see that far?"
"I can't help but think y'all are using the videogame tutorial strategy of coming at the player one by one like the mofo before didn't just get packed up." Nicholas ran up to her at inhuman speeds, "The fuck was your plan? Marching up to half a dozen servants and going, 'Nah, I'd win.'?"
Atalanta growled and stabbed him in the face with an arrow.
N-Not because she was embarrassed!
"Take me to Gilles and I'll act like you didn't just go London NPC on me." Nicholas shrugged his hands, "I'm pretty sure none of y'all actually wanna be fighting for a child rapist."
"..." The heroic spirit nodded hesitantly, "A... Are you certain you can best him?"
"Ask Jeanne what happened to Fafnir."
-
Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Comments
Kreep
BB peeking around the corner: ...Wait a minute, yeah thanks for a new idea.
SaffireSpirit13
Nicholas is based when he actually gets down to business. Otherwise he’s a retard. Also Mash is Best Kouhai, you can’t fight me on this, I’ve already won!
