Bleap
patreon
CHP 62: Indisputable Talent
🕑 Added 2024-03-24 15:24:23 +0000 UTC"AAAH!!"
"Ugh..." Nicholas groaned and covered his ears, slamming his head into his desk, "Why the fuck did anyone think this was a good idea?"
Mozart, who was sitting to his side, looked like he was having a seizure, smiling politely but screaming in pain underneath his spasming expression, "N-N...This... This is j-just wrong..."
"It's a desecration of the natural order, someone should smite that girl." Emiya nodded along, sitting next to Mozart, "And it was your idea, Master. This one is unsalvageable."
"She should kill herself, naive brat." Carmilla grit her teeth and held up a clenched fist before huffing and sitting back down on one of the red recliner seats in the hall they were all in.
It was actually a lecture hall, meant for briefings and the likes as well as 'intellectual discussions' on matter concerning humanity... but, with the top brass six feet under, Nicholas had just made it what it should have been and repurposed it into some messed up variation of an opera house with Marie and Da Vinci's help.
Now while, adding two zeroes to something would never amount to anything, Da Vinci herself was more than enough once they piqued her curiosity.
But well, that didn't mean most of Chaldea's denizens would entertain their ideas and so, the hall had a smaller audience than what they'd wanted.
The only people here were those bored or curious enough to come along.
Namely, Gudako (forced), Mash who just felt bad for them, Mozart, Emiya, Nicholas and Marie of course, Carmilla and a few surprise contestants.
"So how was it? I've left you trembling in awe, haven't I?! I worked really hard after pigg- Master scolded me last time!"
Fortunately for them, there was an aspiring idol who'd practically leapt at the opportunity to perform on a stage.
Elisabeth Bathory put a hand over her heaving chest, smiling widely even as beads of sweat rolled down her pale skin.
Judge one, Emiya held up a hand and spoke flatly, "Hearing you sing makes me want to kill myself even more and that's something cause I didn't think it was possible."
An arrow pierced through Elisabeth's heart.
"Normally... I would encourage one and all but..." Judge two, Mozart trailed off, looking to the side with hollow eyes, "Ju... Just give up."
Another arrow was jammed into the idol dragon.
"Well, I'm kinda inspired."
All heads turned to Nicholas in sync.
"R-Really?!" Elisabeth beamed, instantly forgetting the earlier remarks.
"Yeah, it makes me want to fulfil one of my childhood dreams."
The idol dragon jumped up and down excitedly, smiling happily, "M-Master... I knew you would come around!"
The Chaldean Master nodded flatly, "It makes me wanna build a time machine so I can go back 5 minutes and shoot myself in the fucking face for thinking letting you on the stage was a good idea."
Lightning cracked down on Elisabeth.
"Pft-... Haahahahahaha!!" Carmilla cackled like the witch she wasn't supposed to be, "I thought he was mentally challenged but turns out he isn't! Kill yourself, girl!"
Mash just covered her open mouth in awe, "...Did senpai just..."
"...B-Bu..."
Unable to understand or handle the reactions of the 'audience' and 'judges', Elisabeth Bathory fell back, foaming at the mouth.
Unfortunately for her, it was just not her day.
Artoria walked onto the stage and looked down at the idol's corpse like it was a discarded piece of trash. The self-proclaimed tyrant picked the corpse up by it's pink tail and casually threw it aside before turning to look at the rest of the Chaldeans gathered there.
"What do you have for us, contestant Artoria?" Nicholas asked curiously, ignoring her earlier actions because he completely agreed with them.
Also because all this was kind of the point of the whole event.
Artoria narrowed her eyes, "Hm."
She grabbed the mic with both hands and leaned forward ever so slightly.
"...Gaoooo..."
Silence descended on the hall.
It went on for seconds, then minutes, all as the King of Camelot watched on with supreme confidence.
It went on until Mozart started clapping his hands like a madman.
"Oh... I think Elisabeth broke him." Gudako commented offhandedly with a dumb smile on her face.
Then, a single tear rolled down Nicholas' eye... A tear from the man whose face was usually stuck in an eternal involuntary deadpan.
Emiya stood up and clapped with vigor nobody expected from him, "That was the most beautiful fucking thing I've heard in my whole life."
"...What's wrong with these people?"
The silent question was left unanswered as Artoria smugly raised her head, placing her hands at her hips, "Hm hm."
-
Doctor Romani Archaman walked down one of Chaldea's corridors with a clipboard in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other, humming as he went about his day.
"Oh, hello Hinako."
"Hello Doctor."
"Wh-..."
The A-Team member gave him a small bow before going her way, not listening to what the good doctor had to say.
"...I-I guess she's still mad about how I turned on the cryofreeze." Romani laughed weakly, trying to hide his hurt feelings, "Stupid me, I should do something for her."
The A-Team were like his kin after all they'd done together, it felt bad to be ignored by them...
The doctor shook his head to get rid of the sad thoughts and continued on his walk, putting on a small smile.
He kept walking until he came across Nicholas peeking into the adjacent corridor from a corner, "Oh hey, Nicholas what ar-"
The A-Team member turned around and shushed him with a finger making the doctor jerk and close his mouth.
But, well, when the pale haired teenager beckoned him over with his hands, Romani couldn't help but feel a bit happy.
More people could do with a forgive and forge-...wait, no, punch and forget attitude like Nicholas'.
The guy almost never held grudges.
The ones he did were completely understandable.
"What are you up to?" Romani whispered quietly, "Is it something important?"
Nicholas gave a silent nod before gesturing into the corridor with his thumb, "Yeah, wait and watch."
The good doctor nodded and went along, putting his coffee on the metal floor and crouched down.
It was the Blood Countess' room Nicholas was looking at so intently, and he couldn't understand why.
Moments passed in silence before a screech accompanied by a huge crash nearly knocked Romani on his ass.
"DAMN IT ALLL!!"
The door to the room was blown off it's hinges and a certain grey haired vampire came rushing out of it. She looked around with bloodshot eyes and dishevelled hair before rushing off in the opposite direction with elongated claws.
Nicholas only snickered at her.
"I feel like I shouldn't ask but w-what did you do?"
"Filled her room with pics of Elisabeth and replaced her vintage music with her 'songs' while she was sleeping... She probably just woke up."
"W-Why would you do that?"
"Bitch was being a hater for no reason. At least Elisabeth tries to improve herself. I'mma talk to her about the grind later."
"What part will she grind on exactly?"
Romani let out a yelp and jumped away.
He wasn't the one who asked that question.
"Begone hoe! The power of Christ compels you! I ain't no pim-"
Nicholas jumped away too.
"B-But you have to let me try to grind on you too." The one who did ask the question latched onto Nicholas with a strange glint in her golden serpentine eyes, "I've waited too long!"
"Nobody's grinding on anybody." Nicholas pried Kiyohime off himself, threw her over his shoulder like a sack, walked over to the nearest garbage can and proceeded to toss her inside with zero remorse, "Don't you disrespect the grind with your thirst."
...
..
.
Romani could only watch the exchange in silence.
Chaldea was... well, it was becoming an interesting place?
-
Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
It was a bit iffy in my head but I hope I conveyed it right...
I got no idea what to put here so I'mma end the AN here.
Comments
SaffireSpirit13
Artoria was the Cutest! “…Gaaaooo…” Truly the best of all time! Also Yeah, Elisabeth really does suck at singing. Her voice is literally a weapon that kills just from the sound of it. Kiyohime needs to slow down on the thirst. Martha and Jeanne get first dibs… in that order!
