alexwoolfson
patreon
Personal Update
🕑 Added 2025-07-21 20:21:53 +0000 UTCHowdy everyone,
I'm very sorry for the radio silence over the last few months. As many of you probably assumed, things with my mother's health have not been going well.
I've known a lot of you for years, so I'm going to share some personal stuff here. Some heavy stuff, frankly. If that's not your thing, don't worry. You can skip this. The next post will be 100% about some exciting (and happy) news about my writing. :)
Anyway, here's what's been going on. My 88-year-old mother has been in and out of hospitals and skilled nursing facilities continuously since January, and the decision was made last week to start her on hospice. It was not an easy decision. But I feel it's the right choice that will give my mother more control over her life and the time she has left.
Even though she has multiple health issues with her heart, lungs, and kidneys, I am grateful that for the most part, she has not been in physical pain. What's become clear is that most of the pain she's experienced lately has been coming from the aggressive medical measures that are necessary if the goal is to prolong her life at any cost. I was prepared to fight with everything at our disposal so long as that's what Mom wanted. But she's made it clear that's not what she wants anymore. And my role as her son and advocate is to respect that.
I'm still spending hours every day talking to nurses, doctors, and caregivers, but the goal now is to maximize my mother's comfort. I feel very good about the hospice group Mom has joined. They have a lot of experience, know what they're doing, and are all lovely people.
I'm not going to lie. This time has been very difficult, for a lot of reasons. As often happens in the elderly when they get very sick, there are mental changes, including some serious paranoia, which has been painful for me. But I'm getting lots of support from the people in my life.
Fernando, my husband, has been especially supportive—cooking the meals when I come home late from the hospital, listening to me as I process a challenging day, giving me a ton of hugs and love. A major theme that runs through all my stories is that gay love can be heroic and healing and wonderful. It was a very different message than I got growing up. But I am grateful to be living it now in real life. Yes, I love writing big action set-pieces with superpowers, etc. But it's this everyday emotional support and love that I think is truly worth celebrating and fighting for.
So, that's why I've been so quiet lately. There's no saying how much time my mother has left. She's definitely been declining. It could be days. But it could also be years. There's no way to know for sure. But please know that I greatly appreciate your patience as I do my best during this time.
On a happier note, in addition to the support from my husband and friends, the other bright spot in my life has been my writing and hearing from you, especially reading your responses to Cory's story in the latest Fallen page updates. Even if I don't immediately respond, I read all your comments and they always put a smile on my face. It means a lot to me that my work still matters to y'all after all these years.
And speaking of my stories, I actually have some big news. For the last several months, I've been hinting about writing an MM urban fantasy novel. Well, it's finally finished! While I enjoy writing in general, I can honestly say writing this novel has been the most fun I've had since Artifice. And I truly think it's the best thing I've ever written.
I look forward to telling you more about that in the next post, and over the next few months. You'll definitely be hearing from me a lot more often. :)
Thank you so much for your continuous support. I love and appreciate you all. And I hope things are going well in your lives and the lives of the people you care about.
More soon
Alex
Comments
Adam Irving
Alex, it takes a great deal of vulnerability and bravery to lay your life open to close friends and family, never mind a readership some of whom you have not even met in person yet. I hope that trust is rewarded tenfold. Thankful you have a great network of support by those close to you as well, and the flexability and grace to do the hard work you're doing. I'm not there yet with mine but have walked beside my father when he did the hard work with his parents. Even in the best of circumstances, it is so difficult. We're here for you, to love your work and perspective and all the threads that make up who you are. It may only be in small ways, a comment here or there or just enthusiastic reactions to the great work you're doing, but I know sometimes the small things can make a big difference. All the hugs!
Robert Books
Hugs. Lost my mom last year after a long hospice stay. It is good you have a support network. Enjoy all the time you have left with her.
