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Dark Days and Tech Goblins: SU&SD Newsletter #50
🕑 Added 2022-06-22 18:01:27 +0000 UTCQuinns: You’re receiving this newsletter because you donated to Shut Up & Sit Down this year, and I’ll tell you what else- you are amazing. You’re absolutely tops!
Matt: And that’s a scientific FACT.
Quinns: Thanks to the generosity of people like you, we’re very happy to announce that we were able to meet our funding goal for 2020. That means our team gets to focus on making great stuff for our audience for another six months *without* the anxiety of having to make ends meet. It’s a position of enormous privilege, and we have no intention of wasting it.
But a promise is a promise. To kick off, allow me to present an exclusive and quite long video for this month’s donors.
For years, my bookshelves have appeared in the background of my videos, present yet blurry. Tantalising yet inscrutable. Apparently for some people this was very annoying, so please, allow me to apologise with a lengthy walkthrough of my shelves.
A lot of October for me this year was spent sharpening up the systems I used for putting on the live-streaming elements of AwSHUX - which any of you who watched along may have noticed wasn’t without hiccups (lawyer up!!).Matt: You may not have seen as much of me on our bread & butter YouTube stuff in the latter half of 2020, and that’s because I’ve been a fairly busy bee behind the scenes! We’ve been tremendously lucky in many regards this year - “Making Internet Videos” is one of the few roles that hasn’t been horribly impacted this year, but our beloved hobby (from a hobbyist’s perspective) has obviously been dented in a fairly major way! I think over this year across the loose chats we’ve had on podcasts and streams and live Q&As, you’ll have heard the team rolling through each phase of grieving for the constant physical gaming sessions that dotted our lives back in 2019: the initial wave of excitement for digital alternatives soon giving way to a sludgy malaise.I think more than anything the events of this year have been strangest in the ways that quietly divide us: the scale of the city in which I live and the personal circumstances of those close to me have meant that I’ve had an incredibly quiet year, socially - and yet that hasn’t necessarily been a requirement for everyone. We’ve talked about this stuff a ton already, so I’ll leave it by simply saying it feels incredibly strange to see so many recent comments on YouTube asking when we’ll review the expansion for Twilight Imperium 4.So! Having been broadly scuppered by pesky lipid-coated fiends, 2020 has been an exhausting year of experimentation and adaption, wedged between a delightfully unexpected slice of growth, in the form of the talents of Tom and Ava: a big part of the start of 2021 for me will be planning and carrying out a chunk of remote training - a tricky puzzle when teaching the core elements of what we do, many of which I essentially believe to be deeply physical skills. But gosh, live streaming on Twitch this year has given me real skills when it comes to solving horrible puzzles.
As a peek behind the Techno-Curtain, the world of live-streaming offers only three routes: you either pay through the nose for professional broadcast options, go with the horrendously jazzy presets designed for teenagers keen to start streaming Fortnite, or dive into the ocean of homebrew solutions that are cheap and fiddly but infinitely malleable. As a team that prides itself on being the best at what we do on a shoestring budget, option three was the only viable choice.
And at the end of that tunnel, I made some exciting discoveries: Custom software called ‘Companion’ lets me use Elgato Stream Decks to send instructions to multiple programs and devices at once, creating a one-man-band television studio; OBS Ninja allows me to put Skype into the bin - creating a vast array of tweakable options for broadcasting and capturing audio and video. The lightning-bolt realisation that After Effects could be used to create and export images instead of Photoshop has created a beautiful baby of graphic design and coding, after I finally cracked the perfect coded “expression” to correctly position and resize whatever body of text I drop into each section of a template. Then, using an After Effects plugin called CompsFromSpreadsheet (and after learning a ton about using expressions in Google Sheets) I’m effectively able to create vast amounts of visual assets & OBS templates with a single spreadsheet and the click of a button. The road to this destination has been hell, but I’ve effectively now created a magical robot. The big question, though, is whether that’s useful for what we do?
To be blunt, I have complicated feelings about having spent so much time being a Tech Goblin in 2020 - I would much rather I’d been able to play loads of board games and then film and edit fun videos about them. I’m aware that the streams we do on Twitch - and even our weekend blow-out for AwSHUX - are only engaged with by a fraction of our audience. But I feel like this year has been all about fractions - all about going the extra mile to provide extra for the few that really need it, regardless of the context. This year and a chunk of the next have been miserable and lonely for a whole lot of people, and even if we’ve only got a few hundred people who find solace and warmth in our silly online stream-stuff? That’s been enough of a drive for me to optimise these systems and get things set up so we can reliably and sustainably keep doing it alongside our everyday commitments. We’d love to run another AwSHUX in the near future - so it’s all just been about seeing how much we can do to make it so that doing so wouldn’t be an untenable energy drain.
Sustainability is our big focus for 2021 - we want to create more things for you to enjoy, but without putting any of the team at risk of burning out. So just know going forwards that in the patches you see less of me, there’s a good chance I’m quietly beavering away at setting up the systems and shortcuts and training that we need to keep everything else chugging along smoothly. Thanks to everyone who’s supported us this year, written lovingly from the cave of a smelly tech goblin.
And of course, for all my fear and self deprecation, I’ve been doing this all my life. Earnestly talking about the things I care about is what I do. Always has been. Cinematography might be new to me, and pointing my mouth at a microphone too. But I love the world of board games, I care about getting people to play the best things out there, and all I want to do is see how exciting and magical this world can be. Even in these dark times, I have so much excitement and hope for the new year, and if the stars align, I’ll be doing and learning and growing and you’ll all get to see me just a little bit more. I hope you’re ready. I hope I’m ready.Pictured above: The cave that Matt lives in.Ava: I’m writing this just after the solstice, spending a lot of time thinking about the dark days, and the light that will hopefully crack across the world in Spring. It’s a tough time, real tough, and it’s strange to think how few pieces of cardboard I’ve actually physically shifted across a table this year. We just recorded possibly the weirdest game of the year podcast we could (it’ll be released as episode #125), coming in the new year, and possibly already out-dated in its optimism. It’s been a weird year, that makes sense.But honestly, I feel so blessed. This year has seen me find my feet within Shut Up & Sit Down. I was hired as a writer, and while it was scary putting my words in front of a much larger audience than I’ve ever had before, I also knew I’d put the hours in, and was GOOD at it.Quinns: Hell yes you are.Ava: Aww. This year has also seen me recording podcasts and streams, things I’ve had next to no practice in. I even recorded my first video segment, slowly roasting myself on a fire as I took multiple takes even though Matt only used the first take because it was always likely to be the best. Next year I’m hopeful (assuming the world allows it) that I’ll be putting even more entirely new strings on my bow. Keep it quiet, but I might be able to start making videos next year, and it’s terrifying, but also really hopeful. I’m going to be working for some of the most expert, most kind, most supportive people out there, so hopefully they’ll help me smash through my imposter syndrome and straight onto your screens. Wish me luck, I might need a bit!
Tom: Weird! Year! Weird! Year!
Much like Ava eloquently describes above - this has been a year where I’ve felt a fair share of hopelessness, despite literally being in the best possible circumstances to weather the storm. The conditions of this year kind of… gave me my job? The ability to make videos from home under un-ideal circumstances certainly masked plenty of my imperfections and allowed me to post without fear of criticism being too scathing. I’ve gone from swimming in a post-uni pit of depressive pointlessness STRAIGHT to literally ‘doing my dream job’. It’s ridiculous. But it’s all packaged within the worst possible wrapping paper? I’m squinting at all that’s lovely through a thick fog of ‘eugh’.
I think that’s because 2020 feels like a year where my anxieties about literally everything in the world have reached a fever pitch. I was listening to a podcast recently and this section spoke to how I’ve felt for basically the entirety of this year:
‘I think most people think about [the world], and they think, "Okay, at some point, something very bad is going to happen … And then things might get really bad as a result of that." But I think that that is a misunderstanding of the threat. Imagine that you're in a van with a bunch of people, and you’re in the backseat right? It's a 13 passenger van, most people are in the backseat. One person has their hand on the steering wheel driving. You are driving straight for a thousand foot cliff. It is extremely dangerous. But things are going to get bad in the van long before you go off the cliff.’
This year has incredibly strong ‘back of the van’ energy! And I’m increasingly looking back and forth between the news and my sleep schedule and realising that all the optimism contained in our first podcast of 2021 is going to evaporate on contact with air. We didn’t end on a cliffhanger, waiting for the sequel - this is The Lord of The Rings Special Anniversary Edition 7hr Cut + DVD Extras, Cast Interviews and Behind The Scenes. LITERALLY NOTHING COULD BE WORSE THAN THAT?!?!
Pictured above: The van that Tom lives in.
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..Anyway. That’s my doomspiral over. Those are all things I cannot control. Let’s talk about things I can control, and am actually looking forward to next year... things that, by extension, you all might be excited about too! Because a little corner of joy is nice sometimes.
Firstly, I’m excited to plunge into a couple of exciting video projects early next year. We’re certainly going to be getting the wonderful Beyond The Sun on camera, as well as taking a look at Button Shy’s range of wallet games in a review similar to that fever dream of a video about Oink games. I’ve also got a google doc called ‘[REDACTED] review and research’ that now sprawls over 15 pages of various ideas, jokes and articles. I’m excited for that one to materialise… sometime never. I’m concerned it’s going to be… too weird...
The other big thing I’m jazzed about is that we’re switching to a weekly podcast schedule - and I shall be fully taking over on the editing and programming for that corner of the SUSDiverse. To that end, ping me an email at tom@shutupandsitdown.com or a message on Twitter if you have any feedback about the recent edits and discussions on the pod. I want to make it a truly special little present for everyone to open each week!
Lastly - Thanks to everyone that’s been encouraging this year. I’ve written enough in these newsletters about being anxious about all of it, so to keep it simple; cheers. Thank you for donating, thank you for being cool xx
What are we video games! 🎮
Matt: It’s never biased to say that Pip is perfect. NEVER. My desire for cosy warmth this season has me dipping back into familiar favourites. Destiny 2 is still a fabulous game, as is Slay The Spire and Monster Train. I hit the level 25 difficulty cap in the latter just the other day - there’s something I thought I’d never do when first booting up that game.Ava: I got a new computer to replace my creaking and unreliable beast, and I’ve been very slowly (with the limited time I have in front of it where I’m not working) creeping through a long list of games I should’ve played years ago. I’m finding Prey a little over the top in it’s little nods to System Shock, but that was one of the games that got me into games, so I’m obviously all over the tribute. It’s solid and good. That said, I’ve needed something to calm myself down in between the nightmarish space monsters, so I’ve been interspersing it with the meditative battenberg towns of Townscaper. It’s just a silly toy really, but if it isn’t the loveliest, gentle time, full of quiet wonder.I also want to name check Pip’s game, partly because Pip did some writing, and partly because my friend Eli did the music, but mostly because my word, there’s a moment near the beginning that nearly burst my heart. A Monster’s Expedition (Through Puzzling Exhibitions) is one of the nicest, gentlest puzzle games I’ve played in yonks, and there’s so many satisfyingly lovely details. And I could be showing my bias, but the writing and music is perfect, actually perfect. And that’s not bias, it’s just genuinely that good. Sorry.
What are we music! 🎵
Matt: It’s fab but that Karen O micro-bit always just sends me to the Purple Mountains album, which always just sends me into a spiral of SAD.Tom: Okay, I used to write massive AOTY lists that I’d post on whatever social media I was frequenting at the time (and there’s still a strong chance that I might compile one into a Twitter thread) but I realised I’ve probably spoken about each one of my AOTYs somewhere in the newsletter. I’ll save you the bore of doing that, and instead just focus on a couple of latecomers that have improved my midwinter mood.The True Story of Bananagun by, well, Bananagun, is a bouncing, joyous carnival of a record - all clattering percussion and horns aplenty. I really, really like the lead single ‘People Talk Too Much’ - a few minutes of call-and-response vocals that dissolves into a swirl of joyous, colourful berocca. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I’ve been digging Yves Jarvis’ Sundry Rock Song Stock - a stellar record that maintains the experimental charm of his debut, but condenses it down into a relatively tight run of tracks that’s lilting, sweet and woozy. I normally try and ascribe seasons to music, and I’ve no idea where this sits - out of a speaker it’s probably late-summer, but in headphones it’s depth-of-winter? Versatile!Lastly, I’ve been totally in love with the latest from The Avalanches - We Will Always Love You. There’s a lot here that initially had me recoiling; heady thematic concerns that could tip from cheesy into cringey, strange interpolation of lyrics from the late David Berman, a distinct focus on features over plunderphonics, and...Rivers Cuomo? Yuck. HOWEVER, I think this record is a genuine gem, and might be a contender for my ultimate AOTY? It’s so earnest in its ‘message’ that it can’t be cringe, the features work so well, the album just flows… gosh. It might just be winter talking, but I love it.
What are we watching? 📺
Matt: I’ve been quite under the weather this month, and whenever I’m feeling truly wiped out I increasingly just slump and binge on Anime? Again, I’m as surprised as anyone that I turned out this way. I’ve been very much enjoying the zippy-theatrics and OTT nastiness of Attack on Titan, a show which will depict someone being eaten alive by a naked giant before nonchalantly cutting to an interstitial sting that depicts a diagram of a horse trailer.
Quinns: People might not know this, but while English winters don’t get that cold (thanks, gulf stream!), our winters *are* freakishly dark. We’re far enough from the equator that right now, we get just 8 hours of light each day. It’s grim, and it’s a situation that demands cosy TV.
For me, Ted Lasso has been a welcome bit of light in the darkness. In the same vein as Schitt’s Creek or the U.S. remake of The Office, it’s a sitcom that trades in hope and optimism, and seeing the American protagonist slowly wear down the dour British characters with bottomless energy and optimism is a delight. Did I mention that it’s very funny? It’s very funny.
TV Gods, if you’re listening? Please grant us six seasons and a movie of Ted Lasso.
And to you, reading this? Thank you again for donating. If you ever have any feedback about how the site is run, please don't hesitate to reach out to our team using contact@shutupandsitdown.com.
