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Tanya's Third Life as a Barbarian Queen, Chapter XXVII
🕑 Added 2025-04-12 16:16:06 +0000 UTCI will have the chapter as links to download at the bottom of the post. As well as a link to the Google Document page.
Sadera
Clad in nondescript clothing, dark greens, browns or greys a small host moved with purpose though the labyrinthine streets and alleyways. They kept a certain distance between each other and did little to draw attention to themselves. But they were not unique, nor were such groups unknown to the people around them.
A dozen men with faces obscured by hoods and masks pushed their way through the crowded streets of the great marble city at the heart of the Empire. At their appearance the manifold people of the endless city pulled away from the men who radiated malicious intent. Children, men and women, thugs, slaves, labourers or artisans. Regardless of profession, race or class naught but fools would remain in the presence of such a group.
No call was made, no authority warned. The people with sense made their way into shops and homes that would allow them entry and windows and doors were barred. Others made haste to leave the area in whatever direction looked the most promising all the while the malevolent dozen approached a structure distinct only in its secured windows and well maintained facade.
A side door, a slave's entrance opened and a little Felis girl with a towel wrapped around her head and face hurried out towards the men, her catlike eyes scanning the street and her tail flicking this way and that in an effort to bleed off barely contained energy. A bag was pushed into her chest by the lead man and in an instant the girl fled and the men made their way into the multi story abode through the door the girl had left open.
The screams came shortly after, for an hour or more the struggle persisted but while none could ignore the cries, not a thing was done. No one dared.
A dozen men had entered the house of a petty senator of a distant colonia and a dozen men left, clubs and knives crimson in their rebuke. Shortly after the killers left, came the carrion, the domus was looted. Clothes, jewels, pots, books, tables and chairs. With nothing but the dead to judge them the recently departed Senator was robbed and it was hours after the last item of any possible value was taken that the Bastard Knights arrived.
The investigation was swift as grim-faced young men made a record of the murders and were directed by a dour-faced young lady to carry the corpses to a cart. She was short of stature and bore a light, mostly perfunctory suit of chain as well as a light blade at her hip. The equipment of a Rose Knight that certainly did not expect to see battle and would rather be doing anything but. She turned about to the many eyes that watched her from alleyways or windows with slitted purple eyes that denoted her a bastard offspring of man and demihuman.
She departed with her grim cargo and cadre of much more proficient subordinates, quite content to allow the lowborn veterans to dictate the pace and route back to one of the smaller Rose chapter houses in the city itself. Not a word was said as the knights knew that their every step was watched so their grim procession continued in silence.
When the party arrived they led the cart into a diminutive stablehouse detached from the chapter house domus where slaves moved to attend to the bodies. Already runners would be sent out to inquire as to family members that could identify the dead.
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200 miles north of Kontia, Ninth Legion Camp
Zorzal El Caesar, Tribune of Sadera and Heir to the Imperial Throne.
I walked carefully, not allowing my burning muscles or protesting body to force me to show any weakness to the men of the Ninth Legion as I walked through the tent city. Flanked on all sides by subordinate commanders, guards and Tyuule at my side. I thought little of the men about me. Ever since the Tanaoi escaped my life had been a hell created by incompetent fools.
The Tanaoi were cowards even by the standards of their pathetic race so it should not have been a surprise when they abandoned their settlements, their droving runs, and the many hundreds of petty tribes that offered them tribute.
Their only contribution to the war had been to strike at the Colonia for our Centari vassals. The massacres that had followed had deprived me of the Centaur Auxilia but that had hardly been a deciding factor. We had crushed every other tribe so when we came to the Tanaoi I knew they would flee.
But who could have predicted they would flee towards the Empire?!
At first it had been comical, they had cut themselves off, allowed themselves to be hemmed in between Kontia to the south and my legion to the north. But their command of magic was far greater than that of their peers. Despite attempting to force them to offer battle many times they had only engaged small vanguard forces and had clearly demonstrated just how stupid the people I had taken on this expedition truly were.
While I had yet to lose a single battle despite fighting dozens across the Steppe, my subordinates had yet to WIN a single battle without me in command! Even now as my body fails me the only force keeping the Ninth Legion moving south is me. Every day we delay the longer Kontia will be under siege and the greater the chance that they will fall.
If they have not fallen already.
I grasped the armrest of my chair and ground my teeth to stop the shaking. Don’t these fools know what will happen if Kontia falls? Did they think there would be a Triumph in the streets of Sadera for them if they lost an entire city to one of the smallest tribes of glorified rabbits!
I glanced over to Tyuule, who had proven herself to be a persistent nuisance even if she was a whore without equal. She would attempt to lecture me, tell me to do this or that. What was more aggravating was when her advice was... adequate.
I did not contest that a host of the Lepus Bellocore would be useful on the march but I had sworn to utterly destroy the tribes of the Lepus, not merely subjugate them.
Only it seemed the destruction of the Lepus as a people had not been enough for the mongrols. They had protested, raved, complained, and attempted to lord their petty assistance to my cause over me. They had not been satisfied that the Lepus would be enslaved as a people and had wanted them entirely exterminated. As if it was reasonable to believe that one could scour the vast steppe for every blasted bunny and kill them.
It was impossible and stupid and I had grown wary of their complaints. What was maddening now was that I had enslaved the tribes out of obligation to the ungrateful fools. If I had known just how stupid Bouro truly was I would have abided by my promise to Tyuule. Now I no longer had the ability to call upon a host of Warrior Bunnies at all and the Mongrols had fled during the night several days ago after I had grown wroth with them.
I was left now with the task of fixing this mess where my subordinates failed. I had to bring the Tanaoi to heel and with the mongrols gone I did not see why I should commit to the destruction of the petty barbarians. I would offer them a chance to surrender to me and give them the right to keep their arms. They would truly be a vassal to the Empire and all it would cost was their sorcerous Queen to become my concubine along with Tyuule.
Despite the fervour that plagued my body I found myself growing excited at the prospect of both the High Queen and the most potent sorceress of the headhunting rabbits presenting themselves to me. I would have the most deadly women in the world under me and I would end this pointless bloodshed, truly I was far too benevolent for this cruel world.
I threw my arm around Tyuule as she walked beside me and pressed my tongue into her mouth enjoying how the submissive women melted into me. Her arms wrapped around me as we made our way through the camp to the meeting place.
I had known the moment I had met Tyuule that the proud woman had simply never had a real man. It was the sad truth of the world, women craved the strong, the acclaimed and the wealthy. But such men as myself were rare and so women across the world were deprived. The Lepus uniquely so as all of their men had the disposition of women themselves.
While Tyuule continued to prattle on about her limited grasp of war she had also become an eager and submissive bedmate. I had little doubt that this Tanya, queen of the Tanaoi would only be happy when she had been finally subjected to a rough night with the first actual male of her life.
Yes, with thoughts of both this deadly sorceress and Tyuule wrapped around each other as I showed them new heights of pleasure filled my mind I found my path becoming clear. I would offer them to surrender and if they refused I would either give battle or withdraw for the winter and return to claim this Tanya as my bride in the spring.
We had finally arrived at the litter placed upon a gentle hill at the edge of our camp. I had to admit that the litter itself was impressive. It was so large that it required two dozen tall and wide shouldered lizardmen to carry it and was inlaid with plates of hammered and polished gold hung from ropes that were strung over blood red wood polished to a glassy appearance.
Inside the litter were four seats, one a grand throne pockmarked with polished stones and gold while the others were more subdued with what appeared to be a coating of alligator hide. Three lizardmen sat atop the Litter clad in gold and silks and looked down upon me with cold inhuman gazes.
But they meant nothing to me. Not the Lizards clad in gold, the tall lizard slaves who carried the litter nor the hundreds of lizardmen warriors carrying bows and clubs that waddled behind the procession. None of them mattered at all compared to the slight human woman who also sat atop the litter.
She did not pay attention to me as I approached, instead she ravenously tore into a chunk of roasted alligator, but not a drop of finely cooked fat or meat found purchase on her attire, the traditional robes of the Apostle of Emroy.
There was an awkward silence for a while, broken only by the brazen gluttony of the servant of Emroy. I resolved to break that silence when one of the Lizards stepped forwards. He was a pale blue creature wrapped in yellow silk who carried a stone rod with two ruby prongs on the end.
“To the offspring of the high king of the great human tribe. Our most resplendent high lord of Aksu greets you.” Each word was harsh and stilted, a civilised tongue quite foreign for the water dwelling savages of the fetid swamps to the west. I looked at the barbarian who addressed me and then to the beast swaddled in gold he had spoken for before I turned to look at the Apostle.
“Rory Mercury, Apostle of Emroy, have you come to bless my righteous war against the savages of the steppe?” I took pleasure as the ‘high lizard’ turned to look at the silk clad speaker who turned and had to explain that I had nothing to say to the waterborne savages.
Why the Apostle had arrived with them was beyond me.
With her name called out the girl glanced over at me and seemed to roll her eyes. She finished swallowing a chunk of meat without any sign she was chewing all that much and then hopped onto her feet and stretched her body out.
I looked the girl over and was rather disappointed. She was a slight thing with no real womanly qualities to speak of. She was clearly a woman unworthy of any carnal fantasy.
“Bless? Whatever do you mean?” She said, placing her hands behind her back and leaning forwards as she stalked towards the edge of the litter with an uncomfortable moment of licking her lips as she did so.
“Have I not pleased your lord? I have smashed all Lepus resistance and taken many as slaves, in this war I have destroyed their people!” I explained with a frown.
“All resistance? If you have defeated my lord's funny little bunnies, why are you here?” She asked pointedly and I grit my teeth in frustration as I looked back at the various faces who knew well they were responsible for this massive waste of time.
“Just chasing down some rebels.” I said with a dismissive wave. “The war is already over, I just have to... clean up a little mess.” I explained. Rory as she cocked her head before she took another step forwards into empty air.
I staggered backwards as she landed without any indication she had fallen almost ten feet and continued her stride pushing close enough that I could do nothing but stare into her eyes beset with madness.
“Clean up a little mess.” She repeated with a grin before she licked her lips again and turned to walk behind me. “Just a little mess.” She said again with a giggle. “For you, war must be sublime. The terror and death is a spectacle. Mediated and carefully controlled, the engagement you have selected, with always the possibility of riding off if it becomes tiresome and returning to estates and pleasure.” She licked her lips and lent forwards, words turning dark.
“First you ask for my blessing in a war and then you claim there is no war at all? What need is there for such lies? Do you think I would bless such a war?” Her insanity shining in her eyes. “Moreover, you can stop at any time, can they?” She whispered, her voice pounding in its intensity. There was no elucidation of who ‘they’ were, be it the Lepus or the men under my command.
As I looked at the Apostle, it dawned on me that it hardly mattered.
“I have no intention of just walking away!” I insisted, my own words muted by the intensity of the tiny woman before me. “I came to annihilate the barbarians and I will do so!”
“Ah, that makes me feel much better.” The insane demigod said with a sigh. “I was worried you were not taking this seriously, I would have had to punish you if that were the case.” She lent back into Tyuule with her head landing between my concubines' ample bosom as she audibly hummed. Tyuule stayed perfectly still as she stared wide eyed at the avatar of Emroy.
“But how exactly are you going to defeat the Tanaoi? All of your forces are scattered about carelessly! This legion here and there and that legion there and here... All you have is, uh, this?” She waved a hand out towards the Ninth Legion Camp. For some reason she glanced back at the Lizards and then back to me.
“I have everything I need to crush one tiny tribe!” I assured the Apostle and after a moment of giggling she turned to the lizards and began speaking in their barbarous tongue. The creatures looked almost baffled for a moment before their ‘high lord’ called out and the lot of them began to leave.
Good riddance. I had to bring the Ninth Legion to march and I did not need some swamp dwelling savages getting in the way. With the Apostle of Emroy in the camp it would be simple to force the men onto the road.
Kontia, and my new bride, were waiting for me.
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I call this chapter "Zorzal's severe and continuous lapse in judgement"
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bJxFgNyA6UiuYC0D0RmLWvqXBxFCTrmXoM5KipIeWhA/edit?tab=t.0
Comments
De Vaney John
Boy, the Mongols are going to wish they hadn't offered Zorzal anything when the Golden Horde of the Tanaoi returns to reclaim the steppe. And Rory's going to be telling this story for centuries.
Tony
And Zorzal’s dream of hot bunny queens and conquest make me laugh, the poor guy doesn't understands that the war went from very easy to hard mode. And being stupid enough to not understand that even the gods where giving him a better chance and help to deal with Tanya and her killer bunnies by sending Rory to give him some Lizzie’s help, well he’s asking for it. Now I’m looking forward Rory and Tanya meeting, their probable sparring pointer trading session and the destruction of the rest of the not Roman legions
Tony
Well I really wasn’t expecting the Mongols to be the ones asking for the Lepus to be destroyed, it does make sense since they would be natural enemies in the steppes. And in this world you can find human from very different times, I do wonder what did they offered Zorzal to have him agree.
Arcman
The upcoming slaughter is going to be brutal by Tanya. Zorzal’s army is hanging on by the barest threads.
FallQM
Well she did practically giftwrap an introduction to one of the Lizardman city-states for him while he was low on supplies and solders. He then openly snubbed them and cut off any chance of diplomatic outreach. Just like how his wishy washy actions with the Lepus invasion isolated him from both the Lepus AND the Haryo. The man makes the worst choices possible and is not looking to make any friends.
Old Hammer
This was fantastic it was a great joy reading Zorzal’s internal thoughts his ego and unwavering self aggrandizement had me chuckling. I can’t wait to see what happens next. Something tells me Zorzal has failed a subtle test that Rory was giving him but I might have been mistaken. Either way excited for the upcoming confrontation and am incredibly excited to see a meeting between Tanya and Rory. I wonder if Zorzal will have a moment of clarity if he gets captured and forced to be a hostage. Probably not, it is Zorzal after all, but it is always possible.
Michael Zalesny
Somehow...i doubt Rory is there to help Zorzal...she's there to judge him. Should he prove victorious, he is blessed, should he lose however...
Emdee Kay
Poor Zorzal, you should have questioned why Rory is carrying enough pop-corn and soda to feed an entire legion for the whole trip back to Kontia. Emroy didn't send an Apostle to impart blessing, Emroy sent a witness to the upcoming blunder of the century.
Xodarap4
So Zorzal is now 2 to 3 weeks away from Kontia and has been having a terrible time on the march. Zorzal originally going for a annihilation of the bunnies seems strangely in character for how badly he inflicted political consequences on himself in Gate
Guerinology
Rory joining Zorzal to fight Tanya? Well the situation has right and truly gotten out of hand now. I have no idea what's going to happen but it'll be fun to watch.
