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[Elden Ring: My Ending] Chapter 45
🕑 Added 2025-02-21 07:18:02 +0000 UTCDid Patches expect to receive orders from Tanith?
Honestly, after everything that had happened in the past few days, he had completely forgotten about it. As in, entirely forgotten that he owed anyone anything.
“You look exhausted, Patches. Running from the inquisitor again?”
“He was running from me!” the former ‘law-abiding’ bandit huffed, turning up his nose.
From somewhere on the second floor, distant, deranged laughter echoed. Patches flinched, glancing toward the staircase.
‘Who in their right mind keeps a mad inquisitor in their manor?!’
Sometimes, he felt like the only sane person in the entire Lands Between…
“I thought so,” Lady Tanith chuckled behind her mask. “I have a new task for you. It’s urgent.”
“But I already—”
“It’s urgent, Patches,” she pressed, her voice sharp. But just as quickly, it softened into something gentle and coaxing: “Only a noble hero like you can handle it.”
“Of course, that’s me!” Patches declared proudly—then, realizing what he had just agreed to, smacked himself on his bald head. “But you already have—”
He abruptly shut up the moment he met the cold, lifeless gaze of the Crucible Knight.
Ever since undressing, the knight had become a hundred times more terrifying. Even his aura had changed.
Lady Tanith sighed, shifting her gaze to her ever-unflinching knight.
As his lady, she could not order him to put his armor back on. If she were an unmarried woman, well… given the state of his physical condition, perhaps she wouldn’t have minded. The draconic features didn’t faze her in the slightest.
But as the Lady of Volcano Manor, Tanith remained faithful to her husband, despite everything—even if he had become a giant, grotesque serpent abomination.
Really, though… these men and their peculiar interests…
“Only you can handle this mission, Patches,” Tanith sighed. “Surely, I can rely on such a brave Tarnished, can I not? But if you’re not enough, I could ask the inquisitor to go wi—”
“H-How about Knight Bernahl?” Patches blurted out.
“He’s already on another task,” she replied smoothly. “But don’t worry—I’m sure you’ll quickly find common ground with the inquisi—”
“I GOT IT, I GOT IT!” Patches practically screeched, hearing the distant laughter grow… closer. “W-What do you need, Lady Tanith?!”
“Follow the secret path after the powerful Tarnished, the sorceress, and my daughter. Observe them and report everything that happens. Of course, if you sense any trouble, the inquisi—”
Patches was already gone. Somewhere in the depths of the manor, mad laughter echoed once more.
Lady Tanith, now alone with her nearly-naked Crucible Knight, shook her head.
“…Would you consider wearing something other than just that loincloth, my servant?”
“…”
Not a single muscle on the knight’s face twitched.
Tanith sighed again—this time, in resignation.
Had Melina been here to witness this scene, she would have felt a deep, profound sense of sympathy for the lady of Volcano Manor.
Fortunately—or unfortunately—she was elsewhere.
The last thing Melina had expected to see was her chosen Tarnished bathing in lava alongside a sentient warrior-jar.
Yet, here they were.
Completely unexpectedly. Spontaneously.
“Oh! Fiery mountain! Temper me in your flames! Oh-ho-ho!”
Konstantin, sitting beside him, remained motionless, his expression focused, serious—as if he were enduring a trial of the gods.
Clearly, his material illusion was not thrilled about being burned alive.
Alexander, however, was thinking along similar lines, glanced at Konstantin with concern.
"I never thought that beings of flesh and blood could temper themselves in fire, my friend… But I am still grateful that you brought me to this place! I would have taken an eternity to get here on my own, ha-ha-ha!"
Kosta gave a stern nod.
"At first, I didn’t consider that not everyone has the luxury of easily traveling across the Lands Between. But if the timing of a quest doesn’t line up—adjust it yourself…"
For a brief moment, the man’s form flickered with light before stabilizing again. Clearly, while this controlled illusion of the Tarnished was keeping up the conversation with the warrior jar, his real body was occupied with something else.
Melina, of course, had a good idea of what that was.
"Clearing the area." The dreaded "farming."
And yet, she felt a strange sense of pride. If someone had told her at the beginning of their journey that her chosen Tarnished would—probably in the near future—not only be able to hold conversations with other beings but also do so through a controlled illusion while simultaneously handling other tasks… Melina would have just sighed.
Even she, the daughter of a Goddess, doubted she could have learned such a thing so quickly. Obviously, this was a skill Konstantin hadn’t always had. His consciousness must have evolved to an absurd level, but…
It seemed like he wasn’t in a rush to fully utilize it.
"Yes, my friend, fate has bound us together…" Alexander sighed… somehow.
Konstantin’s material illusion wavered, his "skin" momentarily peeling away to reveal golden strands of light woven together.
Cursing under his breath, Kosta got to his feet and then—
Rolled(1) through the lava toward the nearest outcropping that wasn’t submerged in molten rock.
"Oh, stars…" Alexander shook his jar-like head.
His friend was certainly… unusual.
Fortunately, the body woven from casual energy didn’t completely break down, quickly stabilizing again.
"Even casualization requires practice," Kosta remarked, completely unfazed. Then, after a brief pause, he added, "You already figured out I’m not really here, haven’t you?"
Alexander let out a hearty, good-natured laugh.
"Of course, my friend! I highly doubt your real body would be bothered by such temperatures."
After all, the Tarnished was the bearer of three Great Runes, had faced one of the most powerful demigods in the realm, and emerged from the battle completely unscathed. His body’s regeneration was nothing short of unnatural.
"I’m sorry," Kosta’s expression wavered slightly, his composure not as solid as before. "I’m just trying to keep up with everything… I’ve never had a timed challenge like this before…"
Melina, watching from a distance, tensed.
Of course, she understood him. Probably everyone who interacted with him did.
They couldn’t keep up.
Events moved too fast, too imperceptibly, and trying to catch up with this man was almost impossible.
She had never even asked if her mother was one of his waifus.
And that answer… might determine not just the fate of the Lands Between.
But the fate of Konstantin himself.
"Oh, nonsense!" Alexander bellowed. "If not for you, I’d still be stuck in that damned pit, and who knows how long it would have taken me to get here! And how did you even know about the oil(2), ho-ho-ho!"
Konstantin didn’t answer, his face settling back into its usual unreadable state.
Melina knew how deeply the man respected the warrior jar.
Alexander had helped him embrace hardcore casualization, and while she still didn’t fully grasp what that meant, she understood that it had been something incredibly important to him.
It was after that conversation that Konstantin had truly begun to change.
Alexander, noticing the serious—yet oddly unreadable—expression on Konstantin’s face, crossed his arms.
"I see… You’ve taken on a heavy burden, my friend, but…" The warrior jar thumped a hand against his hardened shell. "Know this—I’d be an absolute fool to hold a grudge over such a small matter! You helped me become even stronger, even though I’ve done almost nothing for you!"
"You’ve done far more than you think," Konstantin muttered—not just for himself, but for the entire community.
"That is true friendship!" Alexander declared. "So don’t dwell on the fact that you couldn’t do everything exactly as you wanted. What matters is that, in the end, we’ve met again."
Konstantin was about to respond, but Alexander continued, and for the first time in what felt like ages, Melina saw the Tarnished genuinely emotional.
"On my way here, I crafted something for you. Take it. I believe it will suit you well."
Alexander reached deep into his jar-like body, rummaging around.
Konstantin’s material illusion stared at the offering, its heart—woven from pure casualization—stopping for a moment in anticipation.
To be honest, Melina felt a twinge of indignation.
Konstantin’s reaction was eerily similar to when she had gifted him the club—the club, crafted from the dead branch of the Erdtree itself, reinforced and enhanced by one of the greatest blacksmiths in the Lands Between…!
And yet—
Alexander was offering him a jar.
A completely ordinary jar.
Or was it?
Had she underestimated its significance?
Without hesitation, Konstantin rolled through the lava, reaching the astonished Alexander, and accepted the gift with absolute reverence.
"I will treasure this jar like a waifu," he declared solemnly, lowering his gaze to the vessel.
The illusionary man's eyes burned with light like never before. Or perhaps, it was simply that his illusion was already at its limit.
A grand artifact, a symbol of might and dominance, an ultimate mark of a true tryhard—revered in legend, sung of in ballads, rendered in CGI animations.
"This is but a small gift," Alexander chuckled, though he was clearly pleased by how warmly the Tarnished had received it. "More importantly, though—the flames here are too weak. I won’t be able to temper my body so that it never cracks again."
Unfortunately, the lava was insufficient to fortify his jar to the degree he desired.
"I suppose I shall head east. I recently heard an ancient saying—‘If you seek the eternal flame of ruin, make your way to the snowy Mountaintops of the Giants, high above the clouds.’"
Of all the things Melina did not expect, it was for Alexander to suddenly provide her Tarnished with a direct lead toward something terrifying.
Thankfully, before she had time to panic, Konstantin turned his head toward her, as if sensing her reaction.
"You shouldn’t go there," he stated flatly. "If you need help with tempering, I can try using my flames to aid you."
Alexander… frowned.
At least, Kosta thought he did.
"You have already done far too much for me, Konstantin," the warrior jar rumbled, shaking his vessel-like body. "As much as I would like to accept your help once more, I still have my pride as a warrior. I ask for your understanding."
Kosta exhaled quietly, then gave a reluctant nod.
Of course, he understood.
This was the mindset of all hardcore tryhards—
No summons. No spirits. No consumables, controllers, monitors, or even the game itself—
"I understand."
Konstantin’s illusion watched Alexander depart with complicated emotions.
On one hand, he felt immense relief.
On the other…
It was as if the warrior jar himself was marching toward his ending.
And while Alexander may not have considered it a bad one—
To Konstantin, it was horrifying.
"Is this jar the reason you created this illusion, Konstantin?" a cold voice cut through the moment.
Melina had appeared.
Kosta turned his head toward his waifu, lost in thought.
The waifu-sorceress was right—he wasn’t perceiving the world the same way as he would in his real body. Everything felt muted, dulled. Even his vision was like seeing everything from the corner of his eye, and in a way, that was exactly what was happening. He was occupied elsewhere, devoting only a fraction of his attention to this illusion.
Without this unnatural perception, he physically wouldn’t have been able to pull off this "trick." The human mind simply wasn’t built for it.
Not to mention the nature of the magic itself—it didn’t just require conjuring a projection; it demanded that a literal piece of his consciousness be severed and infused into a cluster of casual energy.
For Sellen, whose soul and mind had long existed within primeval glintstone, this wasn’t an issue. Her consciousness was vastly different from that of an ordinary person, which, arguably, could be said about any sufficiently powerful casual.
Konstantin closed his illusionary eyes, pushing away unnecessary thoughts.
"I will use this gift only once, when the time comes. But yours… I will use it until it breaks."
Melina hadn’t expected to hear that from her Tarnished. She felt her heart skip a beat, warmth spreading through her chest.
"You won’t break it so easily," she said, standing a little taller with pride.
His words were pleasant. Lately, they hadn’t had much time to speak alone. And though she didn’t love the fact that, at this very moment, Konstantin’s real body was somewhere else, likely with that arrogant witch…
She had to admit—that arrogant witch had helped him tremendously, revealing a unique magic that would allow him to accomplish everything he wanted.
That thought alone made her feel a little better.
"Yeah, Meli-Meli," Konstantin said, completely unfazed.
Melina had been about to protest at the nickname, purely out of principle, when suddenly Konstantin held out a jar to her. Instinctively, she took it.
"I couldn’t keep holding it forever," the Tarnished said with a casual shrug. "Thanks. You really helped me."
She instantly understood what he meant.
His body was beginning to dissolve.
Before she could say anything, his illusion crumbled away, leaving the false Finger Maiden standing alone, clutching a strange jar. Just before he disappeared completely, she barely caught his voice in the distance:
"…try not to run from healing…"
Melina pressed her lips together.
Her Tarnished had perfectly timed his exit.
But that wasn’t even what bothered her the most.
"I was just about to ask if he considers the Goddess a waifu…"
Another moment lost. She let out a soft sigh, lowering her gaze to the jar.
Still, she was glad.
At least this time, she—the most useless Finger Maiden in the history of the Lands Between—had been able to help.
Of course, she’d still have to find another moment to ask her pressing question. And…
Melina lowered her head further, hiding her face beneath her hood.
Maybe she really should stop avoiding his healing.
But she’d still have to ask him to make sure it was a bit… more private.
Realizing how that sounded, even in her own head, Melina let out a tiny, almost inaudible squeak.
Life in a Soulslike had prepared her for a painful (and repeated) death, but not for the realization that she would have to ask a man to be alone with her, just so the other women wouldn’t see her embarrassing reaction to… enjoyment.
Unfair.
Patches had suspected that the manor was bigger than it seemed. But…
He had not expected to find an entire burning city beneath it, may all the Outer Gods, the Queen, and Goddess Marika’s divine curves have mercy.
A city crawling with actual humanoid snakes.
The ones that had survived.
"Hey, you!"
A serpent-man, hissing from behind the remains of a building, cautiously peeked out and stared at the bandit in shock.
Patches sauntered up, squatting down next to the creature.
"You seen a half-naked psycho? …Or just a regular psycho?"
The serpent-man let out a fearful hiss, glancing around nervously.
Patches could understand. Destruction was everywhere. The ground was covered in fresh craters, as if some giant had been swinging a massive club through the hidden city.
And let’s not even talk about the sheer number of corpses—serpent-men, marionettes, bats, and the undead, all piled up in various states of defeat.
"Ssss… f-faaaarmsss…"
Patches flinched.
That forbidden word.
It was spreading quickly throughout the Lands Between, striking terror into the few remaining beings who still retained a shred of sanity.
Harvesting—no, farming—was a nightmare beyond comprehension.
"Yeah, yeah, that’s the one, good job, buddy. Quick thinker. Now, where did he go? Hurry up, I’m a busy man, got a business to run, you know."
The serpent-man froze.
Then, oddly, it let out a strange hiss as its neck began to stretch… unnaturally long.
Seeing the formerly harmless creature growing larger and larger, the brave Tarnished made the only rational decision—
Run.
Fortunately, if there was one thing Patches was good at, it was running!
Before the serpent could fully transform, Patches had already bolted.
The creature hissed in surprise, watching the bald man flee at an impressive speed.
The hidden city beneath the manor, once teeming with horrors, was now a graveyard. Well—technically, that was nothing unusual for the Lands Between. But this time, it had been one man that turned it into a wasteland.
That half-naked lunatic had wiped out everything, leaving only a handful of barely-sentient beings cowering in the ruins.
As Patches continued searching for the Tarnished, another problem emerged—the lakes of lava and the overwhelming heat.
It was so hot that Patches actually found himself grateful to the Greater Will for blessing him with a bald head.
The problem of the lava lakes remained unsolved, forcing Patches to search for an alternate route. More than once, he had to rely on the mechanics of non-existent parkour, leaping across ledges.
In short, he had lost track of the Tarnished long ago.
"Where am I?.. Why is this place so huge?!" Patches clutched his head, barely able to breathe.
It was hot. Unbearably hot. The very color palette of this place seared his eyes!
The hidden section of Volcano Manor had unfolded into a sprawling, winding labyrinth. At some point, Patches had simply lost his way.
Honestly, he would have loved nothing more than to escape. Just run, never look back. But two things stopped him:
First, he was lost and had no idea how to leave.
Second, he really, really wanted to hear a few more of Tanith’s praises for his underappreciated—at least by society’s more self-aware half—persona. Finally, someone who understood him!
And for that, he needed to complete her task.
Unfortunately, that meant more exploring. And so, he found himself squeezing through cracks, climbing over ravines, and pushing open an alarming number of strange doors.
One such door gave him pause.
A massive, pale, bloated form lay resting at the center of the chamber.
"M-Marika’s…" Patches whispered, but never finished, as the enormous, slumbering mass twitched.
Not even the Greater Will itself could determine the sheer effort it took for the bandit to not scream at the top of his lungs.
But, whether fortunately or unfortunately—he didn’t.
Whatever that thing was, it remained asleep.
It seemed he had not triggered its aggro(3).
‘They really need to clean out this basement!’ Patches barely stopped himself from groaning aloud.
Did Tanith even know what was living under her manor?! What kind of lady of the house let this happen?!
Slowly, carefully, feeling his heart hammering in his chest, he crept around the beast’s perimeter and finally slipped out through a window.
The moment he was safely outside, Patches exhaled in relief and, after a quick glance over his shoulder, let out a smug laugh.
“See that, you bloated bastard?! It’s me, Patches the Untethered—"
The beast inside let out an earth-shaking roar.
Patches bolted, once again speedrunning deeper into the hidden city, still trying to track down that insane Tarnished.
Conveniently, forgetting his own fear.
"Hey! Walking piles of iron, where am I?!"
Two Abductor Virgins exchanged confused glances(4).
Patches sighed as they began rolling toward him at an ominous pace.
He was really starting to get tired.
And yet, Patches’ survival instincts remained impeccable. He had scoured nearly the entire hidden portion of the manor without dying even once. Say what you will about the so-called honest merchant, but the fact that he had outlived some of the Lands Between’s bravest heroes had to mean something.
And people say luck isn’t a skill…
"Now, where is the exit?.. Wait… A path?" Patches muttered, scratching his bald head.
He had scoured every inch of the lower manor, finding only traces of the Tarnished’s activities. But him, his waifu, or that snake girl?
Nowhere to be found.
Patches was starting to suspect that the half-naked lunatic had finished whatever act of mass destruction he had set out to accomplish and had already left.
He was wrong.
Because Konstantin was still searching, too.
Searching for an alternate route to the boss room, meticulously inspecting every stone in this new—but familiar—location.
And so, following after the Tarnished and his waifu, Patches unknowingly led them to the only place left.
"The boss has to be here."
The calm voice behind Patches sent a shudder down his spine.
He barely had time to turn before Konstantin—
Kicked him directly into the "path."
"Wha—?! AAAAAAH!!!"
Patches tumbled down, rolling all the way to the bottom of the passage, landing in a completely unexplored area.
Scrambling to his feet, the very offended merchant whipped his head back toward where he’d fallen from—
Only to see Konstantin. Perfectly still. Perfectly composed. And, for some gods-damned reason, smug as all hell.
"Hey! Why the hell did you kick me?!"
"That’s a question the community has been asking for years."
Konstantin’s calm response only deepened Patches’ frown.
He didn’t get it. At all.
"Listen, buddy," Patches began, putting on his best fake grin, "how about you help me out of here, huh?"
The Tarnished feigned deep thought.
"I’ll help," Konstantin finally said with a smile. "But first, I need you to do something. Could you check out that cave?"
‘Huh. He’s chattier than I expected,’ Patches mused, rubbing his bald head. "Sure, pal!"
He turned and peered into the narrow passage. Shrugging, he made his way forward. With every step, the cave widened, growing larger and larger until, finally…
He stepped into a true arena.
If the last creature had inspired fear, then—
Upon seeing this boss, Patches felt nothing but exhaustion and rage.
"Oh, for—damn it… DAMN IT! Why me?!"
A creature, dozens of meters tall. A grotesque, mutated serpent, a writhing mass of intertwined corpses, coiled into a massive knot, slowly opened its eyes.
Praetor Rikard, who had not seen new visitors for a long time, awakened from his slumber.
And, honestly, he probably shouldn’t have.
(1) Lava doesn’t kill the player instantly; instead, it just deals continuous damage. Strangely enough, navigating lava is actually more efficient either with an Ash of War ability or good, old-fashioned rolling.
(2) The second time you help Alexander out of a hole, a simple push won’t work—you’ll need to find and throw a jar of oil at him.
(3) In early versions of the game (and, according to some, still in certain instances), this boss had a broken trigger, allowing the player to bypass its AI entirely by entering the arena from a specific position.
(4) A dual boss consisting of two Iron Virgins. There are two ways to encounter them—either by allowing yourself to be abducted by one in Raya Lucaria Academy, or by finding them in the Temple of Eiglay, within Volcano Manor.
