Lyn Gala
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Claimings 5, Chapter 8
🕑 Added 2026-01-09 17:55:57 +0000 UTCI had to delete and backspace a LOT to get this chapter. I had two (almost three) chapters written, and it didn’t feel right. No… it felt terrible, and the more I wrote, the worse it got. I stopped and left it alone for a while and then came back. When I wrote these snippets, each snippet stood alone. The conflict between Ondry secretly wanting an eggling and Liam being terrified of children was enough. But as I was writing, trying to make that the centerpiece led to them talking in circles and conflict that felt unnatural for these two because they won’t allow miscommunication to come between them. They’re too experienced with the difficulties in bridging the cultural gap.
However, if I take out those artificially tense moments, the story felt plodding. There were no stakes. So I deleted, backed up, and introduced an enemy they can confront (assuming they can figure out who it is).
Getting to the appropriate government building took far too long for Ondry’s preference. They passed through the spaceport district with windowless offices and warehouses. They walked streets that served dock workers–highly paid and skilled humans who attracted those seeking to do business with them. They rode the moving sidewalks into an area with apartments and offices featuring tall windows and exotic plants. That led to the street with the embassies. They then passed green parks and several government buildings before coming to the mayor's building–the closest thing humans came to possessing a temple.
The distances made communication difficult, but Ondry distrusted the human willingness to finalize deals over electronic communication. While it was far more efficient, Ondry wished to see the human reactions when Liam brought up the issue of building a temple. Electronic communication allowed trading partners to hide their immediate reactions and precluded Ondry from adjusting his approach.
“Finally,” Liam said softly with a sigh as they passed a fountain that threw water high into the air before it fell into a shallow basin below.
Ondry would not speak words that might cause offense, even when no one around spoke Rownt. Recording devices and translators were far too common. “I am grateful human planning does not require more space between buildings.”
Liam grinned at him, recognizing the common Rownt complaint that humans used valuable land near the temple for roads. Such useless things… roads. They kept humans from walking their own towns and finding truths that might not be easily seen from inside one of their cars.
Liam led them into the human equivalent of a temple. A woman with the gray hair of an elder but the smooth face of a young human greeted them. She insisted they call her Phoebe, but Ondry did not have that designation programmed into his computer, so he could call her nothing.
“Ms. Summers is looking forward to meeting you. We’re in the main conference room,” the woman said as she led them into the building. Humans paused in their work to watch.
“We’re grateful she has taken time to meet with us and introduce us to the correct people to assist us,” Liam said. Phoebe tensed slightly, but then she smiled brightly.
“We had better take the stairs. I’m not sure either of you would fit in our elevators.”
“We would prefer to walk,” Liam said. “I must confess the Rownt are confused by human preferences for mechanical movement, especially when they then go to gyms.”
Phoebe’s laugh was more genuine. “I will confess to being guilty of that.” She started up the stairs and that ended the conversation. By the time they reached the fourth floor, she was breathing hard.
They followed her through a door so narrow that both Ondry and Liam had to duck and then into a narrow corridor.
“Here we go,” Phoebe said, opening another small door. Inside, the room had a long table and small chairs, although Ondry imagined they were normal for humans.
A woman with black hair stood and walked toward them. “Welcome, Trader Ondry and Colonel Munson.” Her smile was wide as though that negated the insult she offered by stripping Ondry of his rank and recognizing only Liam’s human rank. Ondry raised his lip enough to show a tooth, but Liam stepped forward before Ondry could school her on Rownt etiquette.
“Ms. Summers,” Liam greeted her. “I am pleased to meet you. Thank you for meeting us. I understand you are the Deputy Manager of Economic Development. Is Mr. Spence from City Planning going to join us?”
Ms. Summers lost some color from her face and looked to the side. In Ondry’s experience, that was an unfortunate gesture. “He is rather busy.”
Liam stilled, which rarely boded well in Ondry’s experience. “And yet I understand his office would need to be consulted if the Rownt were to change the function of our warehouse on 152nd Street.” Liam kept his voice low and soft. Perhaps other humans could recognize the danger because both Ms. Summers and Phoebe, who continued to stand near the open door, were just as still as Liam.
She met Liam’s eyes. “Yes, it would be. And I would love to have more Rownt involvement. I understand you’re interested in building an embassy there, but Mr. Spence sent word that all embassies must be built on Embassy Row. You understand city restrictions,” she said, showing her own teeth. Ondry did not need to be an expert in human body language to read the lie.
“Yet the Kush embassy is south of our warehouse, the next building, in fact.”
“They built that during the war when the city regulations were not enforced as they should be.” She drew her lips together in an expression Ondry had never before seen.
“And now you plan to enforce regulations,” Liam observed softly. Ondry knew any number of Rownt who had learned to fear that voice, but Ms. Summers smiled. One who knows nothing preserves the illusion of wisdom only through silence, and she was not silent.
“Personally, I would love to have a Rownt embassy in town. As Deputy of Economic Development, my office would benefit more than any other in the building, but Mr. Spence controls building permits. I am so sorry I cannot help you.”
Ondry typed on his computer translator. “Is there space available on Embassy Row?”
Again, her gaze slid away like a bekbekil running from a predator. “Unfortunately, there is a long list of coalitions and countries that would like a better location, and it is just not possible. The Rus ambassador has long complained that their embassy is too far north. Unfortunately the north end of the city has not recovered from the recession as well as the south. Various Rus ambassadors have requested to move closer to the federal buildings, but there is simply not room. Ten years of requests have been ignored. I personally think complaining about being four blocks too far north is silly, but what can you do?” Her laugh was far too strained.
“What solution would you suggest I take back to the Grandmothers?” Liam asked, his voice like the sky before the storm falls.
Again, Ms. Summer’s gaze skittered away like a prey animal. Ondry began to wonder if something was wrong with the woman. Perhaps she had some muscular degeneration that meant she lost control of eye muscles. He could not imagine another reason why someone trained in city management and diplomacy would react with such evident discomfort. Now that Ondry was tuk-ranked, he certainly understood that he often had to maintain a neutral expression even when completing tasks he found personally deplorable
“I'm afraid my office has no control over city codes or building permits. Please understand that if I could assist you, I absolutely would. But as I told the Rus ambassador, I have very little authority.” She took a step back and rested her fingertips on the scarred tabletop. “I am one assistant deputy city manager among many, and my office has few duties since most trade goes through the spaceport and the spaceport is federally controlled.”
“Perhaps we could speak with Mr. Spence,” Liam suggested.
“Mr. Spence's office is in charge of construction and permitting and with the empty and condemned buildings that plague the city, he is far more difficult to schedule a meeting with than most deputies. If you would like, I can introduce you to David Connolly. He’s the city manager and might be able to assist you.” She did not sound confident of that.
Ondry typed into his wrist computer. “Perhaps we should make an appointment with Mayor Tanner.”
Again, Ms. Summer’s gaze darted about the room as though searching for a predator about to make a meal of her. This was odd behavior, even for humans who often acted far more like prey than a rational creature should. Even if one had natural predators on one’s home planet, it was unwise to demonstrate fear to this extent.
“I'm sure Mayor Tanner would love to hear from you,” Ms. Summers said, but she could not have sounded less enthused if she had made a serious effort.
“What would you suggest, Ms. Summers?” Liam said.
“Colonel Munson, unless you would like to request that my office conduct an audit of all Rownt holdings in local warehouses and of all local trade something which my office is in charge of, I'm afraid I can't help you. We have worked well together in the past, and I certainly hope this will not prevent us from working well in the future, but I am helpless to offer assistance on this matter.”
Ondry expected Liam to object. He was not shy in advocating his position in defense of either Ondry or the Grandmothers. Instead he shook Ms. Summer’s hand. “Then I will not bother you any further. Thank you so much for your assistance, and I do hope we can continue to work together amicably in the future.”
Ms. Summers gripped one of Liam's hands like she might pull him away, and Ondry tensed. “Of course! I would be most grateful if we could continue to work together. Please let me know if there's anything I can do.” She released Liam and stepped back.
Liam turned toward the door, and Ondry followed, disquieted by his own ignorance of the situation.
Liam turned around. “By the way, Ms. Summers, I would like to request that your office conduct a full audit of Rownt trades and positions. We use different measuring systems, and I would like to make sure that every sale is being recorded accurately and is taking place in an efficient manner.”
Ms. Summers nodded. “Of course, as is your right. I will assign my best auditor, but understand that this may take a few months.”
“Rownt are patient,” Liam said. He pursed his lips and studied her for a moment. “But they do not possess infinite patience.” Liam left, and Ondry followed, banging his head painfully when he straightened up too quickly and caught the top of the door frame. Now Ondry had the unpleasant feeling of being prey as they walked the corridors of this human temple. No officials appeared, acting as Grandmothers for humans, but at each intersection of narrow hallways, individuals watched. Most had the worn shoes he had learned to use as a sign of lower ranks.
They walked the corridors—artless and narrow spaces made more awkward by their watchers. Ondry didn’t breathe easily until they reached the lobby where oversized windows overlooked the street and open sky. The building lacked any of the beauty of the temple. It felt wrong for a place of governance to be so neglected, but Ondry had learned humans had their own expectations.
They were on the street and walking back toward the spaceport before Liam spoke. “Something is wrong.”
“We failed to earn permission for the Grandmothers. I would count that as a grave wrong,” Ondry said. He felt the sting of his failure rather sharply in fact.
“That is not what I mean,” he said softly in Rownt that was heavily accented with the Western dialect. Even Ondry had to pause for a moment to decode the meaning of his words. Rownt did not have the foolishness of humans who had hundreds of languages that spanned their globe. Most Rownt spoke the same language with various dialects with only two other languages that had developed in isolated areas. But Ondry did not understand why Liam would use such awkward phrasing. He looked at Liam, his eyes wide and his nostrils flaring. Liam moved close enough that their shoulders brushed as they walked. “She said that she wished she could help but she does not have the power.”
Ondry was mildly incompetent at feigning a Western accent, but he did his best. “Is that not the way of human authority, to divide tasks by office?” Ondry thought it was similar to the Grandmothers who would each specialize in an area, but as he understood it, humans could transfer from one office to another, and each office would maintain the authority over a particular task.
“She tells us that Frank Spence would be unwilling to listen to us as would Jake Tanner. That means her bosses and coworkers are blocking this embassy. She is not.”
“Do their interests not align?” Ondry could not imagine a temple divided in its goals. A Rownt Grandmother who could not reconcile her goals with those of the other Grandmothers would walk away from the temple and the town. A wise Grandmother would never accept a role in a temple where she did not agree with the path the current Grandmothers walked.
“Technically, they should,” Liam said. “They should all represent the good of the city, but that is no different than saying every Grandmother should be equally capable of making a brilliant decision.”
Ondry trilled. He had met foolish Grandmothers. While rare, he would never again claim that each Grandmother had equal authority or equal ability. That was the sort of foolishness that a ka-ranked individual indulged in.
“Do we report to the Grandmothers that we have been unsuccessful and we should seek another path to help the children?” Ondry did not know how they would respond, but he suspected humans would not like the lengths a Grandmother would go to in order to protect children. Wars had been declared over less.
Liam was silent for a time, watching buildings slide past as they rode the mechanized sidewalk. “Not yet. She gave us a hint when she suggested that we should audit our trades. There's something there that we should see.”
“Was she not offering a list of services her office was empowered to undertake since she could not help with the embassy?”
Liam turned to Ondry, staring into his eyes. “I sincerely doubt it. I don't know any humans who volunteer themselves for extra work. She wouldn't have said anything if there was nothing there for us to see.” Ondry felt the blood rush to his limbs as if he were about to engage in battle. Maybe he was, but this was not the sort of fight he could win with tooth or fang. “She also suggested the Rus ambassador may be as unhappy as we are.”
Ondry rumbled as he considered the meaning of Liam's words. “Perhaps we are two hunters each following the trail of the same kawt.”
“A waterfall does not change course for the Rownt who complains, but humans are very talented in building dams.”
Ondry trilled. “That is not the meaning of that saying.”
“No, but I do understand that Russia has some particularly large dams.” Liam grinned at him. Perhaps a human might mistake the expression for one of delight or pleasure, but Ondry could see that this was the smile of a predator who was quite happy to show his teeth.
Comments
Elizabeth Osborn
Oh this is so good. Liam is such a good trader and I love the way he has gained confidence in himself over time. And I love the way that you show this happening.
Mandy Lancaster
Liam showing off the trader chops. After all this time I'm impressed he can still maneuver the human bureaucracy so well. You have me very intrigued about what is really going on here. I think the "bad guys" have no idea what they've taken on. I just caught one mistake Gabrielle didn't mention: Ondry and Liam had to duck and then into a narrow corridor.—duck and then enter into
Gabrielle Henson
In the "Colonel Munson paragraph, a missing comma - and of all local trade, something which my office is...In the paragraph where Liam assumes the Western dialect - the meaning will be clearer if you use Liam's name and not a pronoun, since in the preceding paragraph, you've just used he to refer to Ondry. And yes, this is very interesting. When Ms. Summers offers to give them what will obviously be a long and involved analysis, I immediately got the something is going on here feeling. And I'm very interested to find out what!
