Tombanter
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Distancing Myself (but NOT GOING AWAY); Why my work has slowed; Personal unease and feeling unsafe and my health; And some artist perspectives between me and you and what we're up to together 🤟🏻✨
🕑 Added 2021-01-18 22:53:21 +0000 UTCTRANSCRIPT:
Hi everybody I wanted to talk to you about some directional shifts that are going to be happening. Last time I addressed the Patreon it was a public statement because it concerned listeners in the public sphere. This message is only for my patrons.
Most of you are extremely supportive and offer nothing but kind encouragement and a positive attitude when greeting me or talking to or about me. I appreciate that, thank you for your candor, your honesty, your transparence, and the respect you show when you communicate with me directly -- that goes a long way in building community and trust.
There is most of you who recognize that I am an independent artist free from the events and activities that occur in other artists spaces and communities and I value your confidence in my personal integrity. I am extremely thankful for a community that recognizes human error and the respect for those around him to recognize and address such errors.
Although many of you are wary to directly interact with me or contact me, I know that despite being made to feel uncomfortable you have respected my privacy whether you believe me to be engaging or not engaging in activities romantic or otherwise. For the record I am very single and that has been by choice because being single is part of what I want to be up to at this point in my life.
All these things including supporting me when I feel incredibly vulnerable because you are a supportive force as I react to forces counter to the generative energy that you all foster for the work you expect me to produce. As your artist and content creator I am foremost interested in that generative energy.
And if you do not like me yet remain here, that sort of participation is non generative for creating work that got you here in the first place, so if that is the case, I am not interested in that, it is not something I am wanting to be up to.
I have a responsibility to create content and make that available to you. Creating content is the crux of why we are all here. I am happiest when I can create things. But recent trials mostly by forces external to us, but some by individuals among us and spilling non-generative thoughts across other platforms—the defense, scrambling and obligation to those has become the dominant feeling culture for me. This is mentally and emotionally taxing, and I would like to share with you why.
I bet many of you are creatives and participate in some sort of creative process. But there are also those of you who do not create as a sustained method of expression or communication.
I spoke in my public address about being an artist and wanting to facilitate an open environment that emphasized safety for everyone involved. I spoke about my daily involvement in the activities on our discord server as well as the multiple interactive weekly events I facilitate and interact in.
What many of you who are not artist identified might understand is the price I as an artist pay for the interaction, I afford you. It is meaningful and important, but also Relational work, transactional, takes from the clock—there is a cost of taking away from the responsibility I am up to—making work for you.
Paying that cost and being unable to relax against the push of threats to my person, my business, our community, all that takes a toll. Sleeping and eating have been difficult, a growing apathy has been washing over me, the ability to create has crossed into a non-generative pattern.
So, I must do something to fix this and bring us back to why we are here: the work.
I cannot stay productive AND interactive to the current degree AND nonstop address PR for threats that are either speculative, attacks on my character, and ALWAYS plain wrong. The greying of my vision I experience feeds from panic, fear, paranoia, and unease over what thing will go wrong next?
I need to take a vacation from the interaction. It is the best of the three factors we can control together. I need some distance from my community so I can feel safe in my own server and space again rather than worry my words just become misconstrued ammunition. I will not be ABSENT. I will still be there every day, and I will still chime in text on occasion. Tuesday night rambles will still be available.
TV and Movie events may or may not be facilitated by me but will continue. Talk to Tom will change to be more open ended rather than another responsibility for me. The Workshop will be closed for the time being.
You can still leave me a message in the new talk to tom, speak to me directly on Patreon DM, or leave me an anonymous message through the feedback form on tombanter.com.
The largest responsibility I have is to shepherd the community that many have told me they call home, I will just be doing it a little more silently and detached, so I can focus on the work that brought us all here to begin with: the audios.
Comments
Mememaid
I've only been watching your content for a day and already I feel so connected to and inspired by the works you've created so far. And to know that the integrity of that creative, impassioned foundation for your work is in danger breaks my heart. The more popular you become, trolls and haters will follow with a never-ending hunger for destruction fueled by jealousy. You mustn't let them keep you down! Im glad you're taking the time to put yourself first to avoid burnout because there is nothing worse than losing the fire you had for something you love doing. Like many of your other loyal, supportive fans, I will be patiently waiting your return with hopes that you will come back refreshed, inspired, high-spirited, and excited to make things for us and yourself again. Please take care 💜 and give Sydney lots of huggles and kisses, she is best girl! ☺
👑 Coco Kimmie 👑
Take all the time you need, Tom. Don't forget that you are important, everything else is secondary. All I can do is offer my love and support. Take care!
ВыХуХоЛь
Thank you! Strength to you)))) everything is known in comparison) Russian men are the best)))
Ruby
Take all the time you need Tom. Your mental and physical health comes first before all else. All my love and support to you.
Jessica
Take as long as you need :(
Lowie
Take your time and take care ❤️❤️
Rae
❤❤
Kirra
We support you no matter what! Please take time and take care of yourself 💕 we care about you and your well-being ✨
Abbie
Take care of yourself Tom 💜
Stacie
There's not much for me to say here other than I am very glad you have figured out your gameplan moving forward. Your mental wellbeing, safety, and security will always take priority, and if this is what it takes to allow you to regain all that and be able to create how you want to again, then you know we will back you 100% on that. 💕
elfeera
We’ll support you no matter what ❤️ take as much time as you need, do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your well-being. Sending love your way!
jennywitha_y
Hi, Tom! Thank you for taking time to post this, it can't have been easy and also took away from the energy you have held in reserve that was probably only for yourself in the first place. The fact that you wanted to share what's going on and to as usual, even in my short time here supporting you, show that you are indeed transparent AF, is INCREDIBLY generous. Fatigue is very real and the effects of that ripple outward and permeate into things that you don't really expect it to do. You can't hide from it, it can't be dismissed. It has to be taken down on a 1:1 level and you have to dig in to do that work. It makes my fucking heart break that people just can't mind their own business and not try and tear someone down or attack them in some way. We are all seeing parts of our society that aren't nice, wholesome or good, and the entitlement some people feel to do and say as they please has frayed the edges of a lot of our foundations as human beings and it's become increasingly difficult to try and explain to them that they should be aware of, care about and respect other people. Please take care of yourself! Do what you need to, however and whenever you need to do it. We'll be here. Be well and blessed.
Sleepy all the time like aizawa
Your health and safety come first, I'm glad that you are taking time for yourself 💙💜❤
Ralph
I love you, but you already know this. Thought I'd say it again anyway. :]
She_wears_shadows
I support your decision 100%. It's good that you take this mental health break. I actually have been worrying a bit about how all the things going on in the server and the community in general might affect you. I know, not my place and concern, but it was a thought I had once in a while. So I'm happy that you put yourself and your well being first and if that means less interactions for now, that is totally fine. (Though I'm gonna miss the vibing along to your playlists in the workshop). 😉 I appreciate your creativity and work so much, so of course you can count on my continuing support. Be well and take care. Lots of love from Germany ❤️
Velveteen Rabbit
Tom, I hope that you find your distancing restorative. And that you find that you are again able to get as much from your art and creative process as you give.
Void
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this Tom. It always seems like people love to forget that you are human. And as a fellow creative I understand where you are coming from when you do what you love starts to feel more like a chore and no longer enjoyable for you. Take the time you need for yourself, your physical and mental health is so important. I wish you all the best in re-centering yourself and focusing back on what you love most. Much love, support, and good vibes to you!! 💚💚
Iman Newman
Good for you, Tom.
STAR
Tom I know you probably won’t see this... but I am so sorry. I’m sorry it is hard for you right now. I understand those feelings as well so you are NOT alone. We love you. I love you and we want you to get better so you can continue to do what makes YOU happy. You are strong and a beautiful person and we just want the best for you. So take a break, get better. And we will be here when you get back ♥️ So much love and kisses Yours truly , STAR ☺️
Emmie
I'm a very new patron so I haven't been here for long, nor do I completely understand what's happening. However, I am a creative who knows what it feels like when the process becomes no longer positive or sustainable. I also understand what it feels like to have people attacking character and needing time for yourself to recover and recuperate. I'm so sorry you're going through this and completely support you on whatever you need to do to get back to a healthy place. Sending nothing but best wishes and positive energy your way.
Cataluna
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Hope that the changes are positive for you in all aspects.
tangyberry
will always support you tom <3 take all the time you need
dangerfloof
Thanks for transcription. Also thanks for being clear and setting this boundary so you can take care of you. It’s mindful and kind to the community. Hope you find some peace and clarity
Sabina
I'm still on my break myself, but I wanna say I'm sending all love and positivity your way Tom. Take all your time and I hope it's very good for you and your wellbeing! :-)❤️
Birdie
I’ll really miss having you in the workshop but I’m happy you prioritizing yourself and your work. You’ve fostered a valuable environment that’s brought me so much good. So thank you🖤
Doses of M.O. Sass
Happy resting Tom, ill miss you! Xoxo❤❤
jak ♡
take your time tom!! we’ll still be here homie :)
Athena
I haven’t been a patron long but I want to say, from what I’ve seen you’ve operated how a true patriarch is supposed to operate. Do what you need to do for yourself. That’s what’s most important. ❤️❤️❤️
N
You have 100% of our support Tom. We love you !!
Bunny
Thank you for taking the time to say this, you have all my love and support
Roan
It is important that you feel as safe and comfortable in this community as we do! I absolutely adore the interaction we have but I am very glad that you do what is good for you and most importantly what makes you happy! You will always have my support❤️
WendyJ
Please take that time for yourself and regain your sense of security! 💕. I’m sure we will all be here and support you ❤️
Lani
Tom I totally get it. Take all the time you need. The most important relationship is the one with yourself since no matter what, you can't break up with you. I hope you feel like yourself and feel safe at some point. I hate that it had to get to this point. But either way we will be here for you no matter what. Sending you lots of love
Ali Anderson
❤
Coco
Whatever makes you safe and comfortable Tom, we will support you❤️
DreamerByAnt
You got this, Tom! I can’t imagine what it’s like for you on your end but I’m honestly really glad you’ve decided to take a break to regain your sense of security. I hope you feel better during you vacation and I can’t wait to see what you have in store! Love you mwuah ❤️
