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SA: The Ethereal Collapse (Update: 0.111) (Edit 2)

🕑 Added 2024-11-02 08:00:52 +0000 UTC
SA: The Ethereal Collapse (Update: 0.111) (Edit 2)

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AdrihelDev

More content with that Succubus (Vilnera) is planned once we reach the Capital City and possible routes are dependent on that choice.

Andrew Braun

So I was wondering when we might see some more content regarding when we're saved from the succubus on the top of the mountain as it seems like this be a different route we can take.

AdrihelDev

Hey, thanks for the feedback! I'll look in to addressing the two examples (feel free to add or DM me if anything else comes to mind too). English is not my strong suit, so I really need to find a better way to avoid the grammar issues (not intentional) rather than me proofreading it, as I tend to miss a lot. And I'll add a way to change the spoiler level mid game, it should be easy enough.

Flying Mage

Hi, can I offer some feedback? First of all, I love what you made so far. Especially the various animations (both during and outside h-scenes), which add so much life to the game and definitely give it a unique flair. More VN devs should do this! As for AI art, I don't mind it in principle, buuuut you definitely needed something to differentiate your game in this aspect and the very clever use of animations is what makes up for it. And I get it, it's a one man project after all. When it comes writing, I think you handled basic narrative design well (humans not being able to forget their conflicts to focus on a greater threat is a promising plot hook), but your prose can sometimes be a bit patchy. Two examples in specific come to mind: 1.) Wade constantly calling a you "kid". I don't mind him having this verbal tic - I get he is supposed to give of Han Solo vibes, but he does it way too much to the point it becomes ridiculous. Especially when it's the only word in a sentence. 2.) The main character repeatedly saying "fucking Succubi" (pun intended?) Again, he says it way too much (take a shot every time he does) and using the word "fucking" as a insult in a fantasy setting feels off (although imo it's fine to use it for the act of having sex - don't take word on medieval/early-modern vocabulary, this is just what feels right/wrong to me). I would replace with "dammed" or even better - more varied insults. Also, the shift from the ship to the camp feels very abrupt, but I think this might be deliberate (I feel there is something Aziela is not telling us and the nightmares are intriguing). Of course, you have some grammar and vocabulary mistakes there - "would of" for example, but forgive me if this is supposed to be a deliberate speech quirk of the MC. I am not an expert on writing by any means, but these are just things that are obvious to me as a casual observer. What's great however is the character's personalities. Both the succubi and the humans. Every character is memorable and again, I have to compliment the clever use of animations to help colour the character's personalities. (The wink of the suspiciously succubus-like slutty village woman got me.) Overall great work so far, take my money. EDIT: Oh, and one more thing - I think there should be a way to change the heart and skull alert for choices that lead to h-scenes mid-game. I selected them to be branded at the start screen, since I wanted to see the h-scenes, but I later realized I prefer the uncertainty of having them off. Sorry if Ren'Py makes this impossible, I never used the engine.


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