thetimdillonshow patreon

Bonus #216 - ShiftPixy

🕑 Added 2023-09-28 01:23:11 +0000 UTC

Comments

Alexandra Gaffney

Hey Tim, ever wanna come to Morocco? I own a beautiful villa in the Golden triangle of Casablanca. If you don’t know what that is Google it and it’s the Metropolitan which you love lol for real my family would love to host you.

HummerEV96

Legacy media is dead.

Langston Knipler

“Larry Fink’s head is gonna look like my dad’s “ RK

Axeking

Down 95% on my shift pixy stocks. Fuck you Ray you dirty pig

adam gardener

Fair business. You got got, rube.

Donovan Collinsworth

Hey there, I am a fat person rapist. Id like to give you a reason to attend some of Mr. Kump's foundation meetings. I guess it wouldn't be rape if we're married though. This sounded more flirtatious in my head.... Anyways Hollar at me Tim papa

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

I'm sure there's always a cross hair trained on him.

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

They're all co-opted Mockingbird shills.

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

Only problem with that is it leaves out Franklin.

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

Ah yes, the armadillo maneuver.

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

He's an enigma wrapped in a paradox inside a crispy tortilla shell simmered in bubbling lard drizzled with extra retard sauce.

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

It's a Tyler Durden scenario, Raymond is merely the pig in a fat suit.

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

Don't the raw logistics thwart that?

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

Anybody that says 'we as a society' should be expelled from said society.

Cody Lawler

Yes it's a real game on steam.

Cody Lawler

Worse, Sex with Hitler 2

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

I bet the game is "Mandingo 2: The Blackening."

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

Legend has it he wears TWO monocles.

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

They wouldn't trust him handling food. I imagine him wrapping his maw around the end of the checkout belt, consuming everything. Like the charnel beast from Garden of Earthly Delights.

Tyrannosaurus of a Sexual Nature

John Doe #2...tons.

Axeking

I'm down 85% on my shiftpxy stock. Ray u fucked me

Barry Quinn

Ray Kum-pig,, straight slaughterin'

Blake Anthony

I like how Ray is annexed to patron because he’s too controversial. Aka “against drag”

Alex Bishop

Kump is Tim’s handler.

Alex

Ray kump has co-hosted hundreds of episodes with Tim over the last five years.

Justus weaver

Tim can we stop pretending ray is an intellectual. I mean he is truly a grocery store clerk

Foley's Wedding Planner

"well the crossword still does well"

Foley's Wedding Planner

"they didn't really give them a good war to sell this time" I mean he isn't wrong though

Foley's Wedding Planner

"are we bombing or_" 'WERE KICKIN ASSSS"

Mason McCord

I love when Ray comes on, I wish they would just do a regular show together.

Mike J

"new"

Jake

What the fuck are we paying for..? 🤡

Evan Kirchmer

Kump 2024 Kump for Kumptroller

Katy

Kump uploaded a new patreon and you can't?

Dukx

I played at carnegie hall with York youth symphony in high school. I was on piano. I never practiced.

Muffuletta

C’mon, Tim! I desperately need to crawl into my escape trough twice a week!

Jason S.

CHeRYlLlLL!?!?!

Mean Mike

“Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim Dillon Patreon Episode. We are sorry we are late and it won’t happen again. I was busy sucking off a twink in LA and had a major come down from doing blow ”

Ken Orluske

Where’s the new episode homo?!

Kilolson

Raymond Kumpington is a blueblood who donates to the arts and is the patron of opera singer R. Klavo.

Ello

Kumps best effort.. right on about RFK

Emerson Powell

Late again on the patreon pig

Joe Dobbs

Raymond was close but it was 'News of the World' not 'World of the News,' bless him. Google their chief editor Rebekah Brookes' role in it all a real bad bitch.

Alex

But I like the concept of taking it out on Tim so don't edit or delete your comment please

Alex

Patreon changed it not Tim himself little piggy

Jon

Why did u change the fucking format now I don’t know what episode I left off on

G-Sleazy

Ahhh shit!!! Where’s the damn episode??? What kind of Gay Madness do we have to be put through this week?

dgitaylor45

Ray has no talent and is dumber than a bag of hammers, bro... the fact that people even hear his dross is more than enough repayment for questionable services rendered.

M C

CHERYL!!!!

Muffuletta

I can’t believe my slop is late again.

Ani

They finally changed it & yet it’s still shit, incredible

Andrew Batson

What Ray said about Trump giving RFK the playbook to win was one of the truest things said ever.

Matthew

Hi daddies where is my episode

Tyler

Pig, it's time.

Cody Lawler

In my defense my card gets locked up for fraud because my wife has a videogame addiction.

Dan Ryan

Getting an email that I didn’t have $5 in my bank account is wild to me.

Dan Ryan

He’s Tim’s muse, and I’m here for it.

Dan Ryan

“I feel like women wouldn’t want to learn from me” 😭 Ray Kumpington, national treasure.

Mean Mike

Whoever developed the new iOS app needs to go in the pot

Muffuletta

I’m getting peckish for some fresh slop.

Ray Kumps Guinea Pig

No videos

Mathew

Get out ray and time are awesome together

Oscar Delgado

Please self lobotomize yourself and do us all a favor.

Oscar Delgado

God damm I love tims impressions lmaoooo

Handsome twink

I appreciate kump as a fellow fat long islander. However tim it’s becoming a bit much. I understand you no longer want to the podcast and bringing your friends on keeps it new and interesting. But you’re the comedic Alex Jones. You created this outrage machine and the only way forward is to feed the outrage machine. The world is going to shit you have more content then ever. Start rambling about the end of the empire again fatty.

Cody Lawler

Getting an email that I didn't pay the five bucks just to come back to no new episodes is wild to me.

Richard Copley

Really struggling with these new comic co-hosts. It's just not landing with the same kinda rantlicious timings when Tim is in full flow

Dan Ryan

“You’ll never do anything in your life” 😭

akOK

Looks like a lot of other commenters love when Ray is on. I personally can’t stand him and I don’t feel that he adds any flavor to the show. Tim is brilliant always no matter what

dgitaylor45

Yup. Like Thornton Melon said - "if you wanna look thin... hang out with fat people!" Same goes for being funny.

Realize Realize

Gaaaaaay

Ben Seales

Wait until the letter arrives. Then we’ll all be clear. Soft landing on the welcome mat….

Clinton Body Count

Lots of us strictly listen 🎧 like mature adults.

Clinton Body Count

Who are you his lawyer?

Clinton Body Count

This is common for fats. They can’t be interrupted from feeding trough.

Mick

Fuck off ya dog

Mick Ricardo

Tim is at his best when Ray's in the room.

Ethan Paxton

Glad to see you’re bringing Kump back to the pod, Tim

Chris König

are there no videos for the bonus episodes or do I need rothschild tier?

Alex Meager

News of the World not 'World of the News' - Was the newpapers in the UK which was caught phone tapping.

Attack Peter

I was 10

Attack Peter

My dad told me to buy copies of the miami herald when OJ was found not guilty because when they “eventually found him guilty” they’d be worth a ton!

abandon

in my mind, ray is the muncinex monster

Sam Mackey

When Tim says “hold on wait a minute what?” to Ray, the next 10 min are bound to be magical

Andrew Smyth

Ray and Tim are pure gold.

SLL

These two have great timing with each other— Ray knows when to hold up on saying something to let Tim spout on something hilarious. Tim laughing with Ray. the best

dgitaylor45

If I paid for a ticket to Carnegie Hall and Kump was there I'd probably attack an usher.

dgitaylor45

Kump is never funny. You could pair him up with a truly funny co-host... I dunno, maybe Tim Dillon, and he'd *still* be as funny as looking down and seeing your toilet bowl splattered in blood. I think we as a society have evolved beyond laughing at the developmentally disabled. At least, I have. Ray's congenital misfortune is not a joke, people.

chente diaz

Holy shit that “oh you bet cha “ took me tf out

FinkelsteinShitKid

This was a comedic assassination attempt. After listening to this, I’m not sure so it wasn’t Tim who fired the shot from the grassy knoll. Seriously, as much as I would hate it, the only possible way for Tim to get any better would be if he’s also a CIA agent.

Pleasureman69000

Tashty bites

Sarah

Tim’s RFK Jr voice is priceless. And as an Australian, I can confirm that cricket is the perfect sport for Tim.

Jonas

I always listen to these twice when ray is in it. Always makes me laugh so hard

M C

Think Ray needs to do his podcast by himself with the occasional host. I’ve tried numerous times to listen to his podcast and it just doesn’t work with his wife, it’s like a different guy. Don’t mix your money with your honey Ray.

Alex Gullen

God, this was fucking hilarious 😆 ‘Ray Trafficante’, specializing in philanthropy aimed at thwarting the trafficking of the morbidly obese?

RaptorRachel

Ray and Tim are the ultimate power couple

Gavrilo Princip

Finally some good slop

Josh Lyles

I think Ray should be on the main episode and us paying customers get condensed Timmy D. I feel like I’m paying for Ray’s impending medical bills, instead of the other fat pig (that makes me laugh more).

Curtis Varble

Great episode cum pigs

FatFuckWhoShucksNSucksClams,But make no mistake my favorite meal is Chicken Whazadillas

The best part of the Ray Kumpf eps are When Tim imitates him lol

Barto

Been saying this for years

Brian Jockers

Tim and Ray need a show again. Peanut butter and jelly.

Mike J

Tim and Ray forever

A Rafi

I never enjoy episodes where Tim is just riffing with a comic. Except this one. More of this and less of the others please.

Claire West

Couldn’t stop laughing at the RFK impersonation.

Victor Dove

Tim’s impression of RFK is spot on. “Cheryl!”

Sam Forbes

He’s an enigma. Genuinely unfunny 90% of the time, but the other 10% of the time he’s extremely funny.

Victor Dove

Tim makes fun of fatty boombatties, it’s ironic and funny.

Pookey611

Raymond is simultaneously brilliant and retarded

Total Home Grown

"Grow a sack!" coming from the guy that can't find his lolz

Alex

Am I the only one who can’t stand listening to the guy with downs?

Neil Osmond

I don't know if you're aware of not but ol' Benjamin is doing pretty pretty good for himself!

Britz Man

Why does ray sound like he but his younger?

K

Why is this only an hour????

I. Shyr

Ray Kump commenting on someone else’s voice in that stupid fucking fatcent almost makes you want to remove the other half of his tongue

E-Money

Kump needs to be on every week since we lost Ben.

Peter Radoja

Well said

NotBenAvery

I would really value hearing Tim’s thoughts on Bob Lazar, David Fravor, and Grusch

Hayden Nicoson

Make no mistake tim had a week to make it to Des Moines and was still 30 mins late for the show

Mordin Solus

"its like the day after a dentist dies, everyon in the office is just wandering around." - Ray Kump, within the first 5 mins coming out strong

T O

“I’ll teach them how to roll into a tight ball so you can’t get to the holes”. “They might get beaten, but not raped”…..

Dr. Hector the Rectum Inspector

"Trump's a pussy I'll fist his wife" - Ray Fucking Kump

Deirdre

I could listen to ray and tim go on about post 9/11 times for 78 hours

You

Classic Dillon & Kumpington!

Dave Granger

Nowhere to go but up.

Kristof Seress

He also stole from Tim and drank on the job

Kristof Seress

You're a pig

Kristof Seress

We want more Kump!

Sniggering

This lack of content is beneath a Rothschild user such as myself. Pig be condemned.

Andrew Weissert

His names Travis, he’s worse than Ben. I’m not sure if he’s been the only one since Ben but the audio and overall production quality took a significant dip. The episodes got quieter and Tim’s voice sounds like a tin can. It’s gotten a bit better but Ben was better, he just couldn’t look things up fast.

Andrew Weissert

It’s been mentioned for 6 months now

Andrew Gutierrez

Pissed myself in traffic after the RFK bit

Emilia Tessaro

The clip of Tim on Piers Morgan came up on my yt. He’s in a sweater like a woman running a scam at Chilis.

Jay

Tim needs to talk to The Scuffed Realtor himself if he’s gonna be buying rugs and houses, come on, Timmy Boy. Hit up Nicky $$$

Veer Jhamtani

"world of the news"

Jacob

Good ep

William Alton

So funny

Niall Brady

Nothing makes me happier than when Tim and Ray are together.

Judy Tincher

I laughed so hard. Thank you Tim and Ray.

Jared

Also I lied that’s a country singer I think it’s Travis rice

Jared

Chase rice I’m pretty sure Tim and him knew each other prior I’m pretty sure he did the news in LA or some shit

Steven Mehler

"With our strategy, you're going to get hit..but you're NOT going to get raped." Powerful stuff

Positivity

Love Ray. Need more Kump.

Jenn

What in the Jane Fonda was that charity bit. You’ve dug your hole, now you both have to create a charity and raise funds for the campaign “use your weight, don’t get raped”. Soft launch it at Carnegie hall.

Jenn

Today!

Billy Buttons

Kump episodes > all other episodes

bailey

He's nobody. Move along bozo.

Axeking

Shift pxy is down 99.99% over the last 5 years, down 20% in the last month and is undergoing a reverse stock split. Can Kump manage my coin? I'd like to retire at 35 at the end of a shotgun

Benjamin Lerner

who's the new producer? anyone know?

G Schwipp

Sir Raymond Kumpington of the Swedish dentistry dynasty 🦷

Samuel Chambers

She looks like she’s running a scam at a chilis

Matthew Burns

i need my rothchild episodes pig

phosphate

God Ray is so unfunny

Jorge Espinha

At the time of your last elections I still had FoX news in my cable subscription. Fox coverage was balanced, they were the first that gave Biden the victory. At the “news “ part Fox was ok. The same can be said of BBC , Sky news or CNN. Opinion pieces are another matter. But if any of these networks says there’s a war in Ethiopia, that’s because there’s a war in Ethiopia . You might don’t like the angle but the facts are the facts. Are the news in social media a good substitute? Specially if you only read the headlines.

Mr. D

ray the goat

Mads Rasmussen

Cheryyyiiuullll!!!

Sniggering

Why, it’s only possible to laugh at him, if we only see him occasionally

Allie

The RFK impression had me cracking uppppp

True Rambler

KUMP!

Enaliss

You once told a room full of people you'd let them burn alive to even have the chance at saving Ben. Don't loose Ray, make him permanent.

Carolyn

LOL your RFK impression 😅

Alex

It ain’t just Fox News . no one under 50 watches cable news anymore. I have never had cable since the time I started to live on my own and none of my friends do.

Grant Phillips

Make Ray permanent on the patreon

Jade

make this shit video my god....

Jorge Espinha

I asked AI for a porn movie starting Ray and Tim together in a hot sex scene. Now I have all my accounts frozen, I’m due in court next week and my wife left me. Don’t do it folks!

Ben Seales

Tim actally owes Ray huge back payments as it was the Tim ray chem that gave the Tim going to hell pod it’s charm and takeoff. But kump got shafted by Tim with the money contract back in the day due to low self confidence. So it’s ironic hearing tim neg ray about being a cash fag. But then again, a deals a deal and a kump might be a chump. What ya gonna do. Life in the big contract….

It's no character piece It is what it is MAGA

The best slop always has a fair amount of Kump bits in it.

Dec

Best episodes are with professor kump

Bj Bau

How Is it that Ray doesn't have the Secret Service with him at all times?

Hannah

World of the News? You mean News of the World.

Chris James

I wish you guys had a morning show

Muffuletta

We’re witnessing a double pig renaissance

Mean Mike

Cozy Kump episode

Nur Ugurlu

loved it

Emily

‘When a dentist dies’ I am crying already

Josh Bartlett

It's a knife fight in Crimea

Ryan

FUCK YES FINALLY

Oscar Delgado

Thank you pig

Mil

Definitely more Ray!

Mil

I could listen to a 3 hour podcast of Tim impersonating Ray

Mike Pelosi

Once you get into guns, there is no getting out of them (legalities apply, of course)

scuzcity

Love me some kump

Patrick C

Great episode- I love hearing Ray and Tim talk about media culture. Very interesting to hear Tim’s comments about the demise of News Corp

Ani

Been listening to this since 2/2020 & never knew that Ray had a brother… hiding a Kumpington dynasty??

B_n4sty

you never saw Ray on several of the youtube episodes???

B_n4sty

This is a perfect episode, thank you

Table Top.

"go to a Betsy Ross school.. dont act above it... your NOT typing well" - kump

Pleasureman69000

Cheryl!

Matt

Well said Beef.

Dino Fonz

My god I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. Tim’s RFK impersonation is fine art.

GayRetard360noscope

This was a banger of an episode. More Raymond Yes or Yes?

Mordin Solus

what is "salami fartin'

Aaron Alexander

Losing my mind at Ray feeling awkward taking pics of the blood drive

Aaron Alexander

Ray is the most fascinating human alive.

insidejoke

You’re a retard

Dino Fonz

I love more than anything else, listening to Tim and Ray speak extemporaneously for extended periods of time, particularly behind a paywall.

Brendan Taylor

Netherland by Joseph O'Neill

Mordin Solus

Love me some ray

Vicious Teknique

🐐

Dog With No Collar

Tim and Ray is the show

Fernando Ojeda

Literally die

Theodore Donald 'Donny' Kerabatsos

Great.. Love Kump, perfect side-kick for Tim.

Ashley

This little piggy went on Piers Morgan, this little piggy ate slop.

dehenry2

Sirs Pig and Kumpimus Maximus. Delightful

Joseph Mead

I wonder if they are still on speaking terms

Joseph Mead

Glad to have this tomorrow morning been listening to old old Tim and ray re runs damn I was wrong about ray. He’s way better than Ben.

Raul Martinez

Kump agaaaaaaain???? *still gonna listen tho** Glad Kump exists.

Alex

Ooh we got the new producer's name, Travis

Rachel Pickup

Ooooh yeah... it's gonna be a fun ride to work tomorrow!

Peter Mountjoy

Speak for yourself

Vlad Bombast

Chrissy and Yanni Better Drop C-C-CAYUTTE Hugo Boss Branded HH Uniforms to the Party Members of the Second Reich

I’ve listened to Tim and Ray Kump shoot the shit for years. I’ve never seen a pic of Ray before, but I always pictured he must look like the m’lady meme of the Redditor in the fedora. I just looked him up. I was right