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DD 301 Ch 2

🕑 Added 2025-06-09 06:00:07 +0000 UTC

Comments

Mark Neal

I assume this isn't the final draft. It says it's work in progress.

MuteButtonHero

This chapter reads like it's written by someone less familiar with English than whoever wrote Ch1. Odd grammar, stilted language, use of idioms a little off.

[OMEN]

This just feels like Prince 2.0. These guys are mustache twirling evil men.

Nick Drake

Paragraph 24 “ “The human himself wasn't that strong, according to the reports. In fact, you are close to its level.” “ Edit: (The incubus himself)

Nick Drake

Edit/grammar: Second Paragraph: “yet he wasn't ready to leave his sister lay unconscious several beds over” change to (..sister who was lying…)


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