Funatic
patreon
The Gamer Chapter 1476 – 27 Days of Preparation 29 – And more banter still
🕑 Added 2023-07-10 11:11:46 +0000 UTC“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” Scarlett complained.
The technomancer was flanked by Nia and the Creator Puppet. The former was truly next to her, the latter hung about two steps behind. Five paces ahead, Aclysia was the vanguard of their little formation, her dagger in hand.
They were advancing through a jungle. Left and right, the foliage was so dense that even Aclysia’s many swords could not hack through. Sometimes there had been a hidden path, leaves covering what was the beginning of an unnaturally broad gap between the trees, vines, and fern. Most of the time, there was only whatever winding path was in front of them, though.
“And yet you did,” John told her.
Scarlett and the other crafting haremettes had hit a bit of a roadblock in their development of the Ego Weapon(s). Deciding that cuddles and deep-contact cuddles were not enough to give them breaks from the 12-16 hour workdays they subjected themselves to, John dragged one after another into the Instant Dungeons. It was a nice scene change and they were sturdy enough that they wouldn’t get nuked by a stray enemy attack anymore.
That being said, Scarlett was the squishiest of the bunch and, somehow, the least combat able.
Lorelei’s precognition made her apt at avoiding danger. Even if she herself did not pack a punch, she was never in the way. Lee had limited Martial Art knowledge, enough to occupy enemies on her own for a little while. Hailey was good for the first couple of fights, unloading her new inventions into the enemies, then all the overclocked circuits and the power cores were burned out. She could still swing a hammer quite well, and she was getting started on some basic combat Martial Arts. Delicia’s Mutagen Library let her switch between a couple of different aspects and she did still have the Arc Lance Spell from the AS system.
None of them were, and likely ever would be, exceptional fighters, but they could at least hold their own against a single enemy for long enough that everyone else could clean up.
A soft ruffling of leaves was the only warning they got. The entire party stopped in their positions. A streak of black broke through the ceiling of tree leaves. Aclysia turned ephemeral, the streak going straight through her and slamming into the ground between her and Scarlett with enough force that everyone else had to struggle for their balance.
The monster took as much time to recover as the rest of them. It was an eagle. With a wingspan of only a metre, its size was quite deceiving for a dungeon monster of this level. Its body was of a deep, lead grey, the legs smooth, with no difference between the talons or the toes. A second, smaller pair of wings was located behind and under the typical ones, almost like a feathered butterfly.
These were the Gravdivers, the primary enemy of this Avian I.D. They had an absurdly concentrated and high bodyweight and dealt massive damage on impact, to the point that Aclysia had to opt for the intangibility strategy rather than be turned into a living bowling pin.
The monster screeched, a sound between an eagle and one of Velka’s warbles pushed through autotune. It tried to win altitude, when an arch of electricity hit it square in the chest. The wings seized up for a moment – then it continued without worry. It was Nia slicing through the creature with a curved sword of lightless black that turned it into a spasming mess of misfiring magical nerves.
Inkaryl slammed on the immobilized bird. Feathers exploded everywhere, then they turned into ash.
“Is this a ploy to make me feel fucking useless?” Scarlett stared at her hand. “Because it’s fucking working.”
“To be fair, that would have electrocuted an average person,” John told her.
“I am almost level 600, being lethal to the average person is as impressive as murdering an ant colony with a bucket of molten aluminium.”
“Monster.” The single word from the blonde pariah was filled with absolute conviction.
“Are you serious or…?” Scarlett had to ask. Even John wasn’t sure in this instance.
Nia dropped her weapon. It turned into a splatter of black sludge when it hit the ground. Looking at it spread and melt away into the nothing it was made John’s head hurt. He instead focused on the pariah when she rubbed her cheeks. She went through various nonsensical expressions, perhaps in an attempt to warm up her facial muscles. “Monster!” she repeated, with scandalized hurt. After two seconds’ delay, she asked, “Was that delivery better? I wanted to sound overly outraged. Make a joke about my love of animals.”
“Second time was better, maybe giggle a few seconds after saying it to make sure everyone knows it’s a joke,” John suggested.
“Monster!” Nia declared. Exactly three seconds passed. “He-he-he,” she laughed, stilted. Exactly three seconds passed. “That was terrible… correct?”
“Just keep at it,” John encouraged her and ruffled her blonde mane. Nia let out a cute little hum. She had those nailed down. “You don’t have to hurry too much figuring things out. You’re my adorable, socially inept lover.”
“That you find me adorable is no excuse for a weakness,” Nia pushed back, despite the smile on her lips.
John nodded to that, they were on the same page. “If we kept behaviours that others find adorable, I would probably turn into a couch potato.”
“The amount of doting I could do if you were too lazy to move,” Aclysia sighed theatrically. “Alas, that would also reduce your capacity to be wonderfully assertive.”
“Okay, okay, I get it, you’re all awesome,” Scarlett threw in, her hand pushing into her suit top. She clicked her tongue and drew it back empty. Even 18 days into the grinding session, the urge to reach for her box of cigarettes remained.
“Considering the hypnosis offer yet?” John asked.
“No. This is my habit to fix,” Scarlett stated. Ever stubborn, she refused to do something she could do on her own with help – even though that help would make it a lot easier. It was equally admirable and head shake inducing.
“As long as you’ll ask for things that you need help with.” John would have kissed her on the forehead, but another one of the Gravdivers could have come out of the woodwork at any point and he didn’t want to be caught with Inkaryl down. A shoulder squeeze was what it stayed with.
The electroshock Scarlett had delivered was the best combat contribution she could make. Potentially, she could build herself an exoskeleton or some kind of Doc Ock contraption that would boost her abilities, but that was both way more expensive than Hailey’s gadgets and harder to transport. Until she had that ready, turning her Innate Ability into strong voltage was the best she could do.
Problem with that was that technomancy was the exact opposite of powerful electricity. The art of controlling electronics was one of stable currents at carefully calibrated frequencies. Any shocks Scarlett could administer were way weaker than her Spellpower would have implied.
“I’m demanding you keep my 12 and my 6 clear,” Scarlett stated and they resumed their walk. “We didn’t even take a healer on this ‘change of scenery’, how stupid.”
“Far from the first time we’ve been in this dungeon,” John told her with a shrug of his metal shoulders. By now, they had cleared each of the current dungeons once and were just going through them again as they liked. “You’re secure.”
Scarlett clicked her tongue, as if she doubted that, but remained at the core of the formation without another word. This wasn’t an Assault. Except for the middle of combat, they could leave whenever they wanted.
“Looping back to the topic of ants,” Aclysia suddenly said, after they had dealt with another three of the Gravdivers, “were you ever stung by any? Anything else? Bitten?”
“I get bitten all the time,” Nia responded.
“Love bites don’t count.”
“…” Nia furrowed her eyebrows. “Then only in combat.”
“I assumed, but was wondering,” Aclysia stated.
“Lucky you,” Scarlett grunted and rubbed her neck as if she still remembered an old sting. “Some fucking moron brought a bee hive into the Thorne Protected Space. One of the fuckers made it all the way up and stung me. I thought I would go into allergic shock.”
“Those are real?” Nia asked.
The entire party turned to the blonde for a moment. They waited for any signs that she was joking. Nia quizzically tilted her head and waited for a response. “Is that a… genuine question?” the Gamer asked, just to be sure.
“Yes. Aren’t allergies just things you intensely dislike? Why would you go into shock?”
“Huh. No, they’re very much real. It’s your immune system overreacting to- Ah, I see now why you would think allergies don’t exist.”
“Can’t get sick if nothing from reality sticks to her.” Scarlett reached into her suit and clicked her tongue again. “Do you even have an immune system?”
“I would assume so?” Nia responded.
John just chuckled. The oddest knowledge gaps could exist in the smartest of people. For Abyssals, allergies were certainly less of a concern than for mundanes, and for a pariah, the word ‘allergic’ could probably take on a wrong meaning. Especially for a tone-deaf woman like Nia, who heard people around her misuse the phrase ‘literally allergic’ repeatedly. ‘Figuratively the worst,’ the Gamer thought.
“You can just go into shock because your body decides it doesn’t like peanuts?” Nia asked. The nods she received had her stop where she stood. That was the assumption, at least, until she suddenly disappeared. A moment later, a Gravdiver fell limply on the ground and Nia landed on top of it, driving her magic-dissolving blade through the small body. It frayed apart like a rubber ball under a waterjet cutter. “That is terrifying!” she shouted, a bit too loud and a bit too emotionless to sound proper.
“I know, no wonder most of existence thinks pariahs are creepy.” Scarlett’s dry gaze was directed at the spot the enemy monster had been a moment ago. “You’re anti-freaks.”
“Not that, I mean that-“
“I fucking know what you meant,” Scarlett interrupted and rolled her eyes. “I don’t know if allergies are properly categorized as terrifying. They’re no brain aneurysms. Those can, without a warning…” She snapped her fingers, a little spark appearing and disappearing.
“…make a small light?” Nia asked. Again, everyone had to look at her. “That was a joke. I know about brain aneurysms.”
“Can never be sure with you.” Scarlett shook her head.
“I will be afraid of ordering peanuts in restaurants now…” Nia mumbled.
“One, the idea that any of you will visit a restaurant is personally insulting.” Aclysia sliced a large leaf that had been hanging over a hidden side path. A simple gesture of John’s head, and they followed that way instead. “Two, I have been using peanuts for months, you are safe from that allergy.”
“Unless you develop it later,” Scarlett threw in.
Three seconds of silence. “That can happen?”
“Yup.”
“Scarlett…” John growled a little bit. The redhead had a mild smile on her face that showed she was messing with the socially awkward blonde for her own amusement. Immediately, the technomancer raised her hands in surrender. When called out on it, his haremettes did always try to get along.
“Abyssals developing allergies is exceedingly rare. Our physique is too powerful to deal with such factors. Even if you do, Apothecaries can fix it. Which reminds me, when are you seducing our personal Apothecary?”
“Can they do anything Delicia can’t?” John asked, completely serious.
Scarlett had to ponder that question for a few moments. So far, Delicia had proven that she could mix practically anything inside her body, from mundane massage oil to the most preposterous alchemical solutions. Making a healing potion with the deliberate purpose of preventing the loss of limbs was definitely something in her repertoire. Preventing pregnancies? Probably quite easy. Creepy research? Her attempts at widespread mutagen availability certainly qualified.
What she didn’t have was expertise in various measuring methods, but that was less a general Apothecary skill and more one of Medelnick specifically. If they bought her the necessary tools, she would probably acquire the knowledge in no time. Her Intellect did exceed even John’s, after all, and she already worked in the general area.
“Fair point,” Scarlett surrendered. “I should ask her for her wages.”
“And I should pull Ehtra out of his storage,” John considered. As good a service as Medelnick has given him, the eunuch was still a creepy, experiment-happy, self-serving lab coat. He would sell John out to the highest bidder if he thought he could get away with it. Because he was smart, Medelnick knew he never could. Nothing short of a concerted effort by at least two of the Divided Gates utmost elites could assure that the entire harem and all of John’s allies were wiped out in one swoop. That was the minimum amount of force required for such a manoeuvre to have the slightest chance to succeed.
Still, why work with a man for whom betrayal was a pragmatic possibility, when he had a shortstack that was brattily in love with him?
One of the simpler questions of his life.
