Azrie
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DCMAGR | Chapter. 32: Underworldly Selfishness
🕑 Added 2022-07-13 08:21:50 +0000 UTC“Long time no see,” the Old man deeply said, seeing me. His smile much more than obvious.
I tilted my head. “Has it really been that long?”
He shrugged. “A day or two? I don’t really count anymore.”
“Then why?”
“Why.” He raised his brow. “Why, what?”
“Why say it’s been a long time then?” I asked with a small frown.
The Old man scoffed. “It’s just a manner of speech, don’t be silly.” He shook his head in disapproval. “What brings you around these parts? I thought you had deserted.”
“Deserted?” I tilted my head.
The Old man placed his hand thoughtfully on his chin. “Left, run away I suppose.”
“Oh, no.” I shook my head. “Well, maybe?” I frowned, recalling my current situation. It wasn’t pretty. Or I guess, not ideal.
The Old man raised his brow. “Does something trouble you?”
I nodded after a small sigh escaped me. Looking at the blue azure sky, and the clouds overhead I couldn’t help but worry. I was wavering a bit. I missed leisure, but at the same time I felt it was necessary to continue hunting monsters.
“I got a job.” I said, after a second of silence.
“Well, normally I’d congratulate you, but…” He followed the sky after me. “I assume it’s not all roses and daisies.”
Upon hearing him, I couldn’t help but instantly frown, reminding me of. The things that had happened last night. I still felt like that wasn’t necessary.
“I got a job, and I have a work partner…” I looked down and began fiddling with my fingers in an attempt to carefully talk. “And we seem to have a lot of differences, including what is right and wrong.”
The Old man didn’t say anything, for he simply stared.
“So,” he finally spoke. “Does it bother you that your views are different?”
I thought about it for no more than a second before finally agreeing. “Yes.”
“And do you feel like you’re in the right, I assume.”
“I suppose. What happened last night was a bit extreme to the point of it being unsettling.”
“How so?”
I paused. How could I even describe it to him? She was hit by a car and killed someone? That didn’t sound too good— or…
“This is an example…” I sighed ruefully knowing that it was all true. “Let’s say she got hit by a car, and then she killed the driver for it.”
The Old man instantly frowned. “That sounds a bit too— Not enough context. Was she gravely injured?”
A shrug left me. “I suppose so?”
“Hmm…” He looked elsewhere to think. “Do you suppose there was a better way to fix it?”
“I…” He had tried to run away. “In this example the driver would have driven away… So if the driver killed the person and simply left. Then I think he’s in the wrong too.”
The Old man nodded. “Indeed, in this scenario I feel like both are wrong. The driver for not taking responsibility, and the other person for playing an eye for an eye, or rather— an eye for a life?” He frowned. “Nonetheless, it sounds troublesome.”
I nodded.
“But, this is where I ask.” He turned to me. “If your partner did this, would you hate them? Do you feel like you cannot stand them? What about your job?”
I frowned. Ash… In spite of everything. I didn’t hate her. I felt she was unreasonable, but at the same time unable to know how I would handle the exact situation. I couldn’t really draw a conclusion and simply blame Ash for being cruel. I knew I wouldn’t try to kill the man, but I would have certainly been angry had he driven away.
“I don’t hate them.” I sighed. “My job is… it reminds me too much of my home. I’d like to think I am helping, but I wonder if I am actually helping or not? If your job was to kill monsters to avoid people getting hurt, then your partner killed a person, how would you feel?” I chuckled. “I certainly don’t know how to feel.”
“I don’t have an answer for you.” The Old man said remorsefully. “Your situation sounds complicated. But you should stick to your gut.”
“My gut?”
“Yes, your gut.” He nodded. “What you feel is right, what your instincts tell you to do.”
“This again?” I raised my brow. I mean, I expected something… different.
“Yes, this again.” The Old man smiled at me. “You’re a kind person, I am sure you’ll figure it out.”
I paused. “T-Thanks…” I felt happy that he had called me kind.
“Well,” he patted me in the back suddenly. “Stick to your guns, if what your partner did bothers you a lot, confront them. If they don’t change after letting them know it makes you feel and why you think it’s wrong, then perhaps you might need a different partner.”
Someone other than Ash? I frowned. The Old man stood up.
“I have to get going Kaiti, pleasure talking to you as always.”
I nodded. “Pleasure to you too?” Was that a gesture?
The Old man chuckled and walked away, though. I didn’t feel alone this time around. I missed seeing him. But I had a vague sense of what I had to do. I had to go home, and talk with Ash. Though I was unsure about the contents of said talk.
◇ ◇ ◇
I opened my eyes hearing the door click. Ash awkwardly entered the house with an unwieldy plastic bag. She had a small smile, until her eyes met mine.
“Were you waiting for me this entire time?” She asked with pure bewilderment upon stepping in.
I nodded. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Sure,” Ash nonchalantly agreed and closed the door behind her.
I couldn’t help but frown watching her, she seemed… A bit too lenient? She pulled the bag that was about one-third as tall as her as if it were nothing, slowly making her way over to me before lunging it over the coffee table. A dull sound echoed through the home.
“So, what do you want to talk about?” Ash asked with a raised brow. “If it’s about quitting, then you already know my answer.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that.”
“Well then.” She turned to the bag and broke it apart, a strangely sized box was in its place. “Then I am all ears, or well, I’ll give you as much attention as I can spare.” With that said, she began to flip the box with weird drawings trying to find an opening.
I sighed. “The Old man suggested talking to you about things I find… wrong.”
“The Old man?” Ash pondered. “Who is that?”
Oh, had I never talked to her about him? I frowned ever so slightly, it was no more than an inconvenience, but now that I thought about it, he didn’t know I had a roommate either.
“Someone I talk to every time I go to the park.”
“Ah, a human.” Ash flipped the box, finally finding flaps to open it. “So, what did he tell you to talk to me about exactly?”
“You shouldn’t kill people.” I said looking at her straight in the eyes.
Ash lifted her brow after a quick glance at me. “Why?”
“It’s not right.” I shook my head. “We are clearly much stronger, and they can’t really defend themselves.”
Ash frowned. “You do know that a bullet would incapacitate you, and a bomb would still kill you or me, right?”
I paused. “I mean… I guess?” I scratched my head. This had taken a sudden direction I disliked. “People like the police can defend themselves, but the passerby?” Shaking my head I met Ash’s eyes. “They can’t.”
She scoffed. “Live and learn I suppose. If my life is threatened I won’t back down.”
“Was your life threatened by the car?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “Yes, it was.”
Her emotions were rather grim and dark, but there was also anger too. Was she lying to me? I was unsure, all things considered. I hadn’t gotten hit by a car just yet. So I had no way of knowing how hurt would I be after the fact— not like I wanted to get hit by a car. Still…
“Part of the issue was also that you were on your phone.”
Ash got mildly annoyed by my comment. “Even if I wasn’t using my phone, that person was going at a speed that was completely unsafe. Needless to say I am not at fault. You could say he was seeking death.”
“What do you mean by that?” I couldn’t help but feel slight anger hearing her.
“Reckless driving,” she nonchalantly said. “One wrong misstep and a crash occurs.”
That was reasonable. But something else still bothered me. “So if you got hit by a car at a normal speed would you not kill them?”
Ash paused her opening. There were inflated bags on the table and some molds of white, as well as a strange black rectangle prism-shaped apparatus in the middle of the table. Ash shrugged as she finished thinking.
“Not going to lie.” She took a deep breath. “I would still kill them.”
“Then?”
Ash sneered. “I don’t want to die, simple as that. Even minor threats are still a threat.”
“You seem to care about your mortality a lot.” I commented as soon as she finished her statement. I felt as if I had no thinking room. “Unreasonable.”
“Nothing is unreasonable.” Ash stood up and looked into my eyes. “I just care for myself, that’s all. I am selfish.”
“But—
“And you should be selfish too, unlike the local people you are just like me.” She narrowed her eyes. “From the same rotten place.”
“And you expect me to be as soulless as you?”
“No.” She went back to doing her things. “I simply expect you to not care for trivial matters such as self defense. They attack, you attack. It’s a rule of the Underworld. Though— it is simply better to attack first.”
At that moment I felt hatred within me. Anger. She— she was like the other people there too? Had I been too blind and overly sympathetic? No—
“Why did you save me then?” I asked, biting my lip. “Why did you come to my rescue in the Bordering Lands if you’re selfish?”
Ash wryly smiled. “Pity perhaps?” She shook her head. “Unsure, maybe I found it amusing to have you around? You’re silly after all.” Ash sighed, her emotions becoming apathetic. “In the end, perhaps it was a mistake.”
“A mistake?” I asked, my voice creaking. A mistake? She had called saving me a mistake? Because I cared about people? “Unforgivable.”
I left the room and went to bed. I didn’t want to talk to her anymore. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but certainly not thinking about it was at the top of the list.
Was Ash any sort of companion or friend? I was unsure. Did I want to help her? I was unsure.
A/N: Just noting that all chapters in patreon are basically first drafts, so they have little to no editing.
