SweetBurn
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An apology and update
🕑 Added 2024-06-24 14:16:19 +0000 UTCFor those who don't want to read this huge post but I ask you read to understand the full situation:
TLDR, My mother has been using my pocket to pay her bills and debts but recently declined a job that would support herself and our family in a beneficial manner. Everything is being put on me and I have been struggling to make art with creativity over "I need money". I haven't been able to draw because I've been job searching.
I owe you all a huge apology for my lack of production and its decline over the last few months to the point I am now.
I've been avoiding talking about the topic since I don't like sharing but it seems that this has affected me to the point where I can't draw for myself outside of short bursts.
I'll make it short for very streamlined for understanding.
2022 I had my appendix surgery. I went into the surgery with savings, I came out without an appendix and without savings, my mother used it to pay for a bill. This is not the first time.
We agreed to pay bills together, but this was taken from me to pay for an issue with a secondary home we own. Without permission. Just asking forgiveness after.
My money has been paying her bills, her spendings, her debt. As her child I was more than happy to help her.
I try my best to be understanding but events recently have made me feel different.
She had the opportunity to bring financial stability to our unit of a family by accepting a job in a different state.
Even more so, a job that would help her improve her own financial issues. We would have to move.
A remote job.
She declined it. They made a secondary offer, closer to our state. She declined that one as well. Also, remote.
They called this morning to make sure she didn't want it. She declined again.
Now this is where things become important for us. You and me.
She is without a job. No one else has offered her a position here, she declined the only company that did. I MUST pick up financials.
It's without a question.
How I do so, I not sure.
I could raise my prices; I do not know if I'm comfortable doing so. I enjoy being affordable and working with darn near everyone.
I've been looking around for jobs that will accept me. My mother is angry that I have even considered this option and I'm not entirely sure why.
What I do know is that I've been slacking because of my internal familial issues and my art has been suffering knowing that the money I earn from this passion is being depleted into her pockets.
It has been since 2012, it got worse when she took it during my surgery in 2022. It's worse now that she doesn't have a secure job.
It's exhausting. I'm frustrated. I'm not sure where to go from here. And I'm sorry that it has manifested in a lack of creativity.
I've been fighting to keep it.
I don't want to ask you all to stay while I figure this out. But I do want to say thank you, SO MUCH, for sitting through my decrease of uploading here. You're more than welcome to stop your patronage knowing that this may become standard right now. I would hold no upset to you.
And frankly, I don't think it'll get better for a while.
I need my art to be for me again and the byproduct be the monetary gain.
Not just for making bills.
I've asked so many times for patience from you. I'd feel guilty asking again.
So instead, I would like to leave this saying please, please, remember to do things you love for yourself.
Not because you must. But because you love it.
Comments
Rawr's Bad Ideas
Here for you! I'm not going anywhere.
Magi
That's a really sucky situation to be in and I'm pretty sure we are all proud of the effort you have been putting in to produce the content you can. I hope you can come to some conclusion before your mental health gives out.
