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If You Can Dodge an Egg Pawn, You Can Dodge a Ball - Part 1
🕑 Added 2023-06-08 00:14:38 +0000 UTC“Please, please, hurry up…” Elias Acorn, king of the Acorn Kingdom located off the coast of an island by the continent that housed Soleanna, the city of water, was standing in a large field, overlooking a huge expanse of land and sparkling green grass with terror in his eyes. He tried his best not to show it but his nervous smile and the way he kept poking his two index fingers together, looking all bashful, was a good give away.
The field was surrounded by a mixture of his subjects and a ton of oddly dressed Egg Pawns, looking as though they were on their way to a baseball game. Some Egg Pawns were wearing hats. Some were waving flags with the Eggman symbol on it. Some were throwing popcorn in their faces to mimic the act of eating and paid no mind to it splattering on the grass below them.
This wasn’t the main reason he was nervous though. He was standing here right next to Metal Sonic who was facing him and staring at him with his glowing red eyes. One wrong move and lasers would shoot from them to melt his head.
Standing beside Metal Sonic was Dr. Eggman, arms crossed, and smirking as he stared at the sky. When the sound of the blades of an airplane came into focus his grin got wider. “Yes! Here they come! Finally!”
Elias was a bit surprised to hear the doctor say that. When he got word from his advisor, Geoffrey St. John that Eggman was on his way with a battalion of robots he sent out a distress signal immediately. The signal was picked up by someone who sounded like a very young boy but the lad promised that he’d be bringing Sonic the Hedgehog with him.
When a red bi-plane landed on the field, out sprung two figures. A two-tailed fox in blue jean-shorts and a yellow t-shirt and a blue hedgehog with a denim jacket, an aqua green shirt, and a regular pair of jeans.
“Attacking random kingdoms now, are we doctor? Seems rather basic for you.” Sonic smirked as he tapped his foot. He then lost his smile and raised his brow, confused by what he noticed. “Erm… doc? You on vacation or something?”
“I’m dressed as a referee, you miserable troglodyte,” Eggman said, momentarily losing his wild grin upon Sonic’s arrival to express his distaste for the hedgehog’s stupidity. “Look, I even brought a whistle.” He blew into it for good measure.
Sonic and Tails winced and clamped their hands over their ears. Elias’ eyes rolled at the pain.
“Okay… so… is there a REASON or are you just getting a head start on Halloween costumes?” Sonic asked.
Eggman sneered and held up his finger. “Sonic, I knew you were on your way. You always come to ruin my plans. As a show of good sportsmanship, I’ve decided to propose we make this encounter more interesting. We’re going to play a game.”
Tails suddenly realized they were standing in an open field. There were no lines on it except for one white one down middle, separating them from Eggman.
“Ah. I see…” Tails said, smiling a bit.
“I’m all ears, doc,” Sonic said, sneering at the doctor. “I’m always game for new ways to smash you through the dirt.”
“That’s lovely but you won’t be facing off against me,” Eggman said, putting both hands to his chest.
“Oh? Says who? You? Or your robots? Let’s see which one can stop me from kicking you and that wannabe-me away from King Squirrel Boy over there!” Sonic snickered and darted directly at the doctor with his fist raised and a smirk on his face.
Eggman stood there nonchalantly, playing with his mustache. “Oh, it’s quite alright. None of what you’ve listed need to do a thing for you see–”
Suddenly a green wind blasted into Sonic and smacked him onto his butt!
He bounced up before it circled around him again and Sonic ended up screaming in surprise.
“SONIC!” Tails gasped as he watched this.
When the spinning stopped, the figure that stood beside him, picking his teeth, was Scourge the Hedgehog.
“--I’ve hired someone else to stop you for me,” Eggman finished. “He said he’d do it for free.”
“Heya blue. Nice undies. Your big brother, the fox, pick those out for you?” Scourge asked with a giggle.
Sonic wobbled there, eyes now anime spirals, swaying with extreme dizziness as he was now reduced to his Sesame Street briefs with a red elastic. “Hunnnnghhhh?”
There were light gasps and short giggles from the crowd. The Egg Pawns full on went into a robotic chortle though.
Sonic shook his head and then blushed, suddenly sweaty and suddenly clenching his teeth with frustration and anger. “Who’s the wise guy who–? SCOURGE?!”
“Just noticed me? Poor sap. Can’t even envision true greatness even when it’s standing right in front of ya.” Scourge laughed.
“Why you–?!” Sonic raised his fist and then looked down at himself. “AH!” He yelped and covered his front with his hands. With an embarrassed whine he shuffled on over to Tails to hide behind him with his hands on his shoulders. The people standing behind him could still see the smiling Elmo on his butt though.
Tails merely cleared his throat. “Okay. So you hired Scourge to fight us. Big deal. We can take him.”
“Fight? Who said anything about a fight? I said game,” Eggman snickered as Orbot and Cubot pulled forward a huge cart full of red balls and dumped them onto the grass.
“Of course,' Tails said. "I figured that when I took a closer look at the field but I figured I might have been wrong when Scourge showed up… but if it IS a game then what… what kind of game needs this many balls?” The fox asked.
Eggman twirled one of those balls on his finger. “Dodgeball!”
He then chucked one directly at Tails’ face!
“OW!” The fox bent over and grabbed his nose, which had the effect of him smacking his huge butt directly into Sonic’s crotch!
“GAH!” Sonic stumbled back and grabbed his junk, teary eyed and bouncing up and down as Scourge laughed and pointed at him from the side.
“Dodgeball…? What is this, elementary school?” Tails was way more upset now.
Eggman picked up another ball and twirled it some more. “Come on. It’ll be fun! What’s so bad about letting your inner child out eh? If you want, I can just tell Metal to go ahead and melt the king’s head.”
“EEK! No please! Dodge them balls! Dodge em!” Elias yelped as Metal Sonic’s laser vision heat increased, drastically increasing the amount of sweat on his face.
Tails sighed and rubbed his chin. “Well… what do you think, Sonic?”
“S-Sounds like an excellent idea…!” Sonic spoke up, teary eyed but trying to look confident and cool despite the blush on his face.
“Uhm… y-your voice…” Tails muttered. Sonic’s voice was very high pitched and squeaky now.
The blue hedgehog flinched and cleared his throat to make it return to normal. That’s what happened when you got in a good crotch shot on a dude…
“A-As I was saying, we’ll take you and the other, other wannabe me to the cleaners,” Sonic smiled, fists clenched with anticipation.
“Not unlike your clothes I presume?” Scourge asked, holding Sonic’s folded clothes up. Sonic yelped and zipped around Scourge, snatching them back and making his way over to Tails again.
“You’ll see,” Sonic growled, putting his shirt on first. “I’m gonna do a lot worse to you then strip you.”
Scourge rolled his eyes.
“So, what’s your team name? Green HedgeEggs and Man?” Sonic asked, trying to bounce while putting his pants back on.
“God, that wit of yours is shockingly acute,” Eggman grumbled. “We’re not going to be on teams together. Instead, what I’m going to need YOU to do is hunt down eight more people and bring them here.”
“Oh…? You want me to go and get a team?” Sonic zipped his pants up. “Are you sure about that? My friends are all pretty badass. Your overconfidence is your weakness.”
“Your faith in your friends is yours,” Eggman said, waving him off. “Now go. It doesn’t matter who. Just bring them to me and I’ll explain the rules even more. Till then–!”
He then tossed the dodgeball and smacked Tails in the face again.
The fox’s eyes rolled as it bounced off his face and with his tongue out he fell onto his back, hearing tweeting birds.
Sonic growled.
—
It took some doing and some flying around but eventually, Sonic arrived with a team.
Sonic jumped out of the plane and landed on his feet, arms spread out and grinning. “Say hello to my entourage!”
“One, My littlest brother, Miles Tails Prower!”
Tails nodded, arms crossed as he stood beside Sonic.
“Two, my other little brother, Manic the Hedgehog!”
Manic grinned, a sparkle in his teeth, as he winked and did finger guns at Eggman and Scourge.
“Three, creepy stalker turned reliable friend, Amy Rose!”
Amy rolled her eyes with a smile on her face. “You’re lucky this is dodgeball and not the hammer throw…”
“Four, hyperactive, sports maniac with the elastic tail, Tangle the Lemur!”
“When the rings of my tail reach your field of vision, it’s already too late for you!” She smirked.
“Five, Edgy hedgie from the past, Shadow the Hedgehog!”
“How did I not get a mission from headquarters about a kingdom being attacked?” Shadow looked annoyed. “Missions like this require a steadier, more professional hand than Sonic can offer.”
“Thanks Shadow, no need to talk right now. I’m in the zone at the moment. Anyway, SIX is the naïve cinnamon rolly polly pot leaf head from the future, Silver the Hedgehog!”
“Hello! I-wait… what did you call me?” Silver raised a brow.
“SEVEN, scatterbrained detective boy with the endless sugar rush of terror. When he’s not being cucked by Bradley for Cream’s affections he’s falling for a prank he set up, it’s Charmy Bee…!”
“HAHA! Yeah! That’s me! I do that stuff………………………………………..wait.”
“EIGHT, the silent mercenary with the power of GUN… Whisper the Wolf.”
“... Hello.” Whisper nodded.
“And ME, the grand daddy of power and speed, the one who excels at being awesome and runs circles up, down, and all-around the competition; at NINE people stands Sonic the Hedgehog!”
That was everybody.
Eggman clapped his hands. “Excellent. With Scourge, that makes TEN. We have an even number of people. Fantastic.”
Scourge laughed. “Oh man. This is going to be funny.”
“Even numb–wah?” Sonic raised a brow. “Wait, we’re not all going to be on a team against Scourge and some gaggle of robots?”
“Oh Heavens no!” Eggman laughed. “What would be the fun in that? No, you just gathered your teammates AND your opposition!”
“WHAT?!” Everyone said in unison. Whisper remained quiet though, just leering at Eggman with murder in her eyes.
“You guys are going to be on teams, facing off against one another. Scourge will be the team leader for his team and Sonic will be the team leader for his,” Eggman snickered.
“Asking us to put this kingdom’s fate in your hands through a dodgeball game was bad enough,” Amy spoke up. “But you want some of us to be on a team against Sonic and expect us not to hold back?”
“Speak for yourself…” Shadow muttered.
Amy shot him a glare.
“If you really want to go easy on Sonic, be my guest,” Eggman said, rubbing a fist to his chest. “Just know that I’ll know and you’ll be disqualified if you do.”
“Huh?” Charmy perked up. “How though?”
Eggman twisted the rim of his glasses which caused stats and schematics to appear within the lenses. “As the referee it’s my job to keep you all from cheating. Any holding back or deliberate getting-hit-by-the-ball-on-purpose-ing will be seen as an immediate forfeit. My glasses have a tracker that observes all of you and should the cardiovascular exercise ratio within your systems drop below a function that would reasonably constitute a feasible exertion of energy for sporting activities then I’ll win. Do you agree?”
“Uh… is this kosher?” Silver asked, turning to Tails.
“It’s not up to me, even if it isn’t,” Tails said, looking at Sonic.
“Pff. As if you even need to ask. It’s fine,” Sonic smirked. “None of the people I brought with me are ones to hold back, anyway. Right?”
“As if I ever would,” Tangle chimed in, excited. “Not against you!”
“Let’s try to have some fun guys,” Manic said with a smirk. “No use sweating the small stuff. If we lose if we don’t try anyway, why not go as hard as we can?”
“Someone’s life is on the line though,” Amy said.
“It’s okay,” Whisper said, still leering at Eggman. “If Scourge’s team can’t beat Sonic’s team then we won’t accept our loss with grace. Not if it means allowing him to take a life.”
Elias was drumming his fingers together and gulping. He didn’t have his sword with him so he couldn’t fight back while this murder bot was staring him down. He had to leave it up to them.
“I wasn’t going to hold back regardless of the consequence,” Shadow said. “Are we all done talking now?”
“Not yet. We need to pick teams,” Scourge said, kicking a box at them. “In that crate are two sets of outfits. Navy blue uniforms with gold trimming and black uniforms with red trimming. The black ones are mine. The blue ones, the color of pansies, belong to Sonic the One-Pump Chump!”
Sonic blushed.
“What does one pump chump mea–” Charmy asked.
“It’s what happens to you whenever you see Cream do literally anything,” Sonic snapped, really pissed off now.
Charmy blushed in response this time. He got it now.
“We’re going to do this like they do at school,” Scourge said. “We pick teams! Let’s flip a coin to see who goes first!”
“Alrighty,” Sonic said, stepping up. “I call tails.”
“Of course you do, you sycophant,” Scourge rolled his eyes as Tails smiled in the background. "I call heads."
"As any closeted gay boy would," Sonic said to Scourge.
"Hardy har..." Scourge snarled, blushing despite himself.
Scourge flipped the coin and it landed on tails.
Sonic turned around and winked at his bro. “Tails.”
“Haha!” Tails flew over and the two of them did a high five of victory.
“Pfft. Yeah, okay. Whatever.” Scourge rolled his eyes and scanned who was left. “Shadow. You look like someone who’d be fun to play ball with.”
“Hmph.” Shadow stepped forward to grab his uniform. “I’m happy I don’t have to help Sonic out at the very least.”
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll see how happy you are about that when you’re face down in the grass with my shoe stuck up your butt.” Sonic said with a grin. “Anyway, my next choice is gonna be Manic.”
“Awww yeah!” Manic stepped up, shaking his fists up and down. The three brothers did a three-way high five and bumped chests with one another. “Here come the triplets of power!”
Scourge scanned the group. “You! The guy with the pot leaf hair. Psychokinesis brat.”
“My name is Silver,” Silver muttered, grumbling as he went on over to Scourge’s side. He very much didn’t appreciate being on the villain’s group but he’d make due.
Sonic turned back to the group. It was just the girls and Charmy.
He saw Amy standing there, pretending to not want to be picked but the way she kept swaying back and forth like that was adorable in a sense. She was even looking off to the side, smiling with her arms crossed and tapping her foot.
“Yeah, okay. Come on, Amy.” Sonic said.
“YAY! REALLY?! YES!” Amy bounced her way over to Sonic’s side to wrap him into a hug. Sonic chuckled a bit.
“Hope you know how to hang with the brothers of power. We go hard,” Sonic said.
“So do I.” Amy grinned, raising her hammer.
Scourge looked back at the remaining three. “You there, girl with the ring tail. You look like you know how to bring the pain.”
“Why thank you, Green Apple Sonic. I appreciate the vote of confidence,” Tangle strutted her way over, looking very confident indeed.
It was just Whisper and Charmy now. The bee was pouting a bit, not liking the idea of being picked last. Granted, he was the only one at the office when Sonic swung by so perhaps he was just here by default anyway. He didn’t like it though.
“... Eh. Whisper,” Sonic said. “Sorry Charmy. Strategically it makes sense to split Tangle and Whisper up if one of them is already on the other team.”
Plus, he figured it’d be pretty messed up to have her on Scourge’s team since he was fighting for Eggman.
Whisper nodded and made her way over to Sonic.
Charmy and Scourge sighed in unison.
“Alright. I guess I get the bumble bee with the big butt. Hopefully, I’ll find a way to get him to sting your ass.” Scourge snickered.
“Bite me,” Charmy snapped but marched his way over anyway.
Eggman smiled as he overlooked the scene. “Alright. We have our teams now.”
Team Sonic consisted of Sonic, Tails, Manic, Amy, and Whisper.
Team Scourge consisted of Scourge, Shadow, Silver, Tangle, and Charmy.
“Now then, King,” Eggman turned to Elias who perked up with a nervous grin. “Do you have a locker room around here?”
“Uh… yeah. There’s a gym nearby.” Elias said.
“All of you head over there and get changed. When everyone comes back the bludgeoning begins!” Eggman said, tossing a ball over his head.
It smacked Tails in the nose and the fox spiraled to the ground, cross-eyed with his butt in the air.
—
“This is absurd,” Whisper said as she got her top on in the locker room.
“Hey, don’t fret about it so much,” Tangle said, standing in her uniform top with her plain green sports panties on. “You need to learn to let loose and have fun with it.”
“... “ Whisper glanced over at her and then sighed. “Fine. I’ll try. Prepare to be defeated by my fit of fun.”
“That’s the spirit!” Tangle winked. She then sprung her tail over to Whisper and tugged his pants down, exposing her teddy bear panties. “Now hurry up and get dressed!”
“YEEEP!” Whisper blushed and tugged her top down. “I-I-I was g-g-getting to the pants part! Don’t rush me!”
Amy giggled as she tugged her shorts on. “Why do I get the feeling of deja vu?”
Amy could have sworn she saw Tangle yank down Whisper’s pants with her tail like that before but she couldn’t recall from when or where. Oh well.
—
“WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! GOOOOO POWER TRIPLETS!” Sonic, Tails, and Manic were hollering and shouting together on their side of the locker room in extreme excitement.
“Hey, you three are aware that the biggest losers run off at the mouth the loudest, right?” Shadow called back to them as he gripped his pants.
Sonic rolled his eyes and raced over to Shadow to pants him.
“GAH!” Shadow blushed when he was standing in his Sleeping Beauty briefs! “What the hell?!”
“Don’t get all upset. That’s what we’re here to do isn’t it? Get changed?” Sonic laughed.
Shadow bashed his forehead against Sonic’s, making him wince. “Yeah, I guess so. It’s your turn next!”
“Ow! Try me!” Sonic snarled.
Scourge crawled behind Sonic on all fours and winked at Shadow. Shadow smirked and pushed Sonic over him, making the blue hedgehog yelp as he fell onto his back with his feet raised.
Shadow then grabbed at Sonic’s pants and yanked them off, revealing his Sesame Street briefs again.
“GAH! I wasn’t mentally prepared yet! No fair!” Sonic blushed hard and scrambled to cover himself while on the floor.
“Hey! You leave our bro alone!” Manic snapped, marching towards them.
Scourge and Shadow grabbed Sonic by the armpits and flung him right into both Manic and Tails like a rocket!
“GWAAAH!” The three of them shouted in pain as they were smashed against the lockers, clothes exploding off of them before they fell into a twitching pile on the floor in their underwear. The sound of chirping birdies filled the air as they, along with a constellation of stars, circled over top the stack of brothers.
The Care Bears on Tails’ huge brief clad butt stuck out the most as his bottom was so big it was keeping what Sonic and Manic had on out of sight. A quick peak showed Manic in some Dora the Explorer briefs though.
Charmy was whistling off to the side with Silver as the two of them got dressed. They didn’t want any of that.
“Dorks.” Scourge snorted. “This’ll be more fun than I thought.”
—
That was part one of the epic dodgeball game story. No dodgeball was present in this one but the second part will have it now that all the set-up is done. Look forward to it. Also, please, tell me which team you look forward to seeing suffer the most.
