DarkTechnomancer
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Fates Parallel Chapter 273 - Detente
🕑 Added 2022-10-03 22:41:37 +0000 UTCShortly after Rika and the others left to gather information in town, Ja Yun found herself terribly bored with only Muddy for company. She’d been in the middle of trying to teach it some simple sign language when a voice interrupted her.
"Please don't take this the wrong way, but how do you get anything done with that wild mane of yours?"
Ja Yun jerked in surprise and glanced up at Seong Eunae, blinking up at the princess as she processed the question. She held up a lock of the offending mop and shrugged.
"I guess I'm just used to it. It's always been a bit hard to manage."
"Maybe I could help? I'm quite good at it—you'd be surprised how much maintenance these need."
Eunae swayed her three tails back and forth hypnotically to illustrate the point. It was so distracting that Ja Yun almost failed to process what she'd said.
"Oh, um, I-I guess?"
The princess smoothly circled around Ja Yun's back, and for the first time Yun noticed the hairbrush in her hand. Ja Yun's brain finally caught up to the situation and realized what Seong Eunae was suggesting.
"W-w-wait! I don't know if it's appropriate for you to be doing that."
Yun felt ridiculous—why was the princess even offering to brush her hair in the first place? The two of them weren't particularly close aside from their shared connection to Rika, and Ja Yun could count the number of one-on-one conversations they'd had on one hand. Eunae put her hands on her hips and huffed.
"There's nobody here to judge us, Yun. Misun is off moping somewhere, and Master Ienaga is overseeing Narae's training. It's just you, me, and Muddy—Muddy doesn't mind, does she?"
The traitorous little blob shook its featureless lump of a head before reverting into a roughly spherical shape and settling into Ja Yun’s lap. She could hear the smile in Seong Eunae’s voice.
“See? So do I have permission to brush your hair or not?”
Ja Yun sighed and relented.
“Fine, go ahead.”
She tried to relax as Eunae knelt down behind her and began to gently run the brush through her tangled mop of hair. The princess’ brushstrokes were slow and measured, almost too careful to avoid pulling or breaking any strands. Ja Yun doubted how productive a brushing technique like that would be, but had to admit it was soothing.
“I’m not really complaining, but why did you want to do this? Is my hair that ugly?”
Eunae giggled and shook her head.
“Not at all! I think it’s lovely. Sorry if I gave offense earlier—I couldn’t think of a good way to broach the topic.”
“It’s fine. I’m just confused—we don’t really know each other that well.”
Eunae shrugged.
“Maybe I’d like to change that. We are, after all, dating the same woman. I’d like to get to know you better, independently of our relationships with Rika.”
Ja Yun fought down the sense of bitter resentment she still held about that. She’d sealed those thoughts away, but it wouldn’t hold forever. They were already leaking.
“I guess that makes sense. Why brushing my hair, though?”
“Promise you won’t laugh. Eui once told me that brushing Jia’s hair was one of the ways they got closer before they were together, and I always liked the sound of it. It’s physically intimate and personal, but safe. I’ve always envied their little rituals.”
Yun blushed at Eunae’s choice of words.
“So you wanted to try it out with me? Why not with Rika?”
“Rika wears her hair too short, and besides, I said I wanted to get to know you better, didn’t I? I already know Rika quite well.”
Eunae’s words reignited the spark of Ja Yun’s jealousy, and she clenched her fists into balls in her lap.
“Better than me...”
Ja Yun’s muttering gave Eunae pause, stopping her in the middle of a brushstroke for a moment before she sighed and resumed.
“Not as well as you might think. I had hoped to keep this about you and me, but I suppose it’s inevitable that we would fixate on our common link.”
Yun pouted, stirring her finger around in the surface of Muddy’s body.
“I don’t even know why she bothers with me. You’re prettier, smarter, more powerful, you’ve known her longer. I don’t have anything that you don’t.”
“Mm. I don’t know about that, Yun. For one thing, you have sex with her.”
Ja Yun choked and sputtered, her cheeks burning as she desperately tried to regain her composure.
“Stay still! I don’t want to accidentally tear anything.”
How did Eunae say something like that with a straight face? When she could finally breathe again, Ja Yun sat up straight and covered her face.
“What? Why would you bring that up?”
“Should I not have? I didn’t think you were keeping it a secret.”
It was impossible to manage her blush now, so Ja Yun gave up. If this was the conversation they were going to have, then so be it.
“Well, no. But it’s not like that’s something special. I’m sure Rika would be more than happy to do the same with you. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
“Thank you for saying so. And yes, I imagine she would.”
Ja Yun paused. Maybe it was her imagination, but Eunae’s voice sounded strangely sad about that.
“Princess?”
Eunae lightly smacked Ja Yun in the head with the back of her brush.
“Just Eunae, please. Between us I am neither a princess of Goryeo nor a member of the Seong clan.”
“You’re literally my boss.”
“Please?”
Ja Yun sighed.
“Eunae, is there some reason you can’t be with Rika?”
The princess giggled melodically.
“Oh, there’s countless, but I’ve made my decision anyway. But I understand you mean sex, and to that the simple answer is that I’m just not comfortable with it yet. I’m not sure I ever will be.”
“Why not?”
“Hard to say. My first lessons on sexuality mostly focused on my duty to pass my gift on to someone better, more talented, more deserving. Of course, since it’s such a rare gift, I’d naturally be expected to have as many offspring as possible to maximize the chances. It didn’t leave me with the most positive impression of the act.”
Ja Yun grimaced. She could see how that might mess with a young girl’s head.
“So that’s it, then? You’re her trophy wife while I’m the one that satisfies her in bed so you don’t have to get grossed out?”
That had been more bitter than she intended, but she could feel the cracks on her sealed thoughts growing by the moment, threatening to break loose like a flooding dam. Eunae hit her with the brush again—much harder this time.
“Don’t you dare! Do you think that’s how Rika sees us? Is that how you see her?”
Ja Yun drew her knees up to her chest—bringing Muddy along for the ride—and hugged them. She shook her head—for some reason talking to Eunae always brought out the worst side of her.
“No, of course not. I’m sorry.”
Eunae brushed Yun's hair in silence for a long moment before responding.
"What do you think would happen if I were to demand that Rika choose between us?"
Icy panic lanced through Ja Yun's heart, and she had to take a deep breath to remind herself that it was just a hypothetical. Once she calmed down, she muttered her response miserably.
"She would choose you, obviously."
To Yun's surprise, Eunae laughed.
"I suppose knowing Rika for longer does have its advantages. I think if I did that, she'd be rather upset with me. It would be an unforgivable betrayal, and most likely mark the end of our relationship."
Yun frowned as she thought about it—she had a hard time imagining anyone rejecting Seong Eunae.
"You really think so?"
"Rika is a woman who is not afraid to reach for the things that she desires. She does not allow herself to be shackled by the expectations of others, nor does she abide any attempt to control her. It's the thing I love and envy most about her."
Eunae's use of the word 'control' struck Yun as odd. Was it any coincidence that a girl who'd grown up with the ability to control the minds of others would be attracted to someone as willful and independent as Rika? Maybe she was reading into it too much, but either way Ja Yun was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that she was currently alone with someone who could rewrite her personality at a glance. Eunae took her silence as an invitation to continue.
"Rika loves you, Yun. To her, that's all that matters. She doesn't care who's prettier, or smarter, or more powerful. Neither do I, and neither should you. Rika's love for me does not come at the expense of her love for you, nor would I ever want it to. There's room enough in her heart for both of us, and in ours for her—perhaps even each other, in time"
Yun's breath caught in her throat, and for a moment she thought she would choke again. She felt pinpricks all over her body as her voice came out in a squeak, as if her thoughts were resisting the idea of being put into words.
"Are—are you asking me out?"
Eunae laughed again.
"I suppose I might be, in a roundabout way. I only meant to speculate about what our future together might look like."
'Future together.' Yun was certain now that her entire body must have gone bright red, and she felt like her blood was on fire. Mercifully, Eunae was content to let her blush in silence as she finished rushing out the last few tangles in Yun's hair.
"There we are! All done. Although, I'm afraid my effort might have been in vain."
Sure enough, Ja Yun's hair was still an unmanageable frizzy mess. Though at least it was now free of tangles.
"Yeah, sorry. It just kinda grows like that."
Eunae tapped her chin and thought for a moment.
"Would you like me to tie you up?"
For the third time that day, Yun felt as though her heart was trying to escape through her mouth.
"Wh-w-wha—!?"
"Your hair, I mean. A braid might be suitable as well."
Yun's panic subsided, though her heart still had trouble deciding whether it wanted to reside in her chest or her stomach.
"O-oh, right. No, thank you. I'm fine with it like this."
"Well in that case, you can do me if you like."
Ja Yun couldn't take it anymore. She shot to her feet, grabbing Muddy so that it didn't drop to the ground, and whirled angrily on the princess.
"You—you're doing this on purpose! You're teasing me! You just mean brushing your hair, don't you?"
Eunae stifled a giggle as she held the hairbrush out to Yun.
"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, but if you're offering…"
Yun stared down at the hairbrush with disdain for a moment, then snatched it out of Eunae's hands.
"All right, fine. It's only fair."
She moved Muddy onto her shoulder as Eunae turned around and shifted her tails to give Yun access to her hair. Ja Yun knelt down behind her and began to run the hairbrush through Eunae's long black hair. The princess' hair was silky smooth, and already pristine and free of tangles. Yun kept brushing anyway—it felt nice to touch, and there was something therapeutic about the process.
Ja Yun worked in silence, and for once Eunae seemed happy to let her do so. Yun barely even noticed when she'd finished brushing Eunae's hair, and the princess wordlessly offered up one of her fluffy tails. She moved on to brushing that too, lost in her own thoughts.
The jealousy and resentment that she felt for Eunae wasn't gone—not entirely, anyway—but it was muted. Yun could see why Rika loved Eunae so much—enough that she'd travel all the way across the continent just to meet her again. Maybe Eunae was right. Maybe one day Yun would fall for Eunae the way Rika had.
She tried not to fantasize too much about what that might look like. After all, it wasn’t so bad getting teased by a beautiful princess.
Comments
DarkTechnomancer
Everyone experiences jealousy differently. I can understand how a monogamous person might have difficulty identifying with poly characters, but try to bear in mind that not everyone thinks the same way you do. I think that people who can handle multiple committed poly relationships are probably in the minority, but so are gay people. It's my right and privilege as an author to fudge those numbers and explore the space created by it. This was a chapter about communication, exploring feelings of jealousy, and forging bonds. I'd rather focus on those messages.
Melchisedec Bailey
Polyanory is exactly like playing with fire. Except instead of your house that can get burned down. It's your emotional and mental health. It's very easy to love someone in a polycule so much that you only want to be with them. And then when they don't feel the same. Oh boy does that suck. The shittiest part is that not everyone knows exactly what kind of person they are. I dunno. I don't wanna come off as a bigot. What people do isn't my business. But in the experience of those around me, polygamy has led directly to the mental and emotional degradation of those who identify as polygamous, and even the suicide of those who they are with. I dunno. Even the idea of letting the person I love go be with someone else makes me physical ill. Again. What irl people do is whatever. But in a book where you're supposed to empathize with characters. It's really hard to even conceptualize how a polygamous person thinks of their lovers. Do they fool themselves into thinking there are more hours in the day to be with whoever they want? Do they tell others they can love more than one person, and then expect others to love them too? How does someone who's not polygamous deal with watching their girlfriend go be with other people. At that point, what makes their relationship special if they can have it with anyone? And what if you fall in love with someone who only sees you as like one of five or six people their with. How do you build a life with that person? There might be answers to ALL of these questions. Good answers too. But people don't always go for good simple answers. Our emotions are messy and often screwed up. Someone might look at it like they can't be controlled, but others might see that as conditional to building trust. And how do those two people reconcile those feelings beyond a perception of one being a control freak, and the other controlled by selfish depravity. I dunno. I've never seen it work. I am curious to see how this story plays out though.
thkiw
the more the merrier! polyamoury is fun!
