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My Own Worst Enemy 16 - An Excellent Hostess
🕑 Added 2025-07-16 16:27:52 +0000 UTCMaari—who I am trying very hard not to call “Mary” in my head—insists on giving us the full tour of her estate, eager to engage in the long-
Maari—who I am trying very hard not to call “Mary” in my head—insists on giving us the full tour of her estate, eager to engage in the long-standing and universal rich-person pastime of showing off.
“Here we have the jetty,” she says, showing us what looks to my untrained eyes like a regular wooden dock. “It’s a shame you arrived so late—the river is absolutely stunning in the twilight. You’d never see its like in Stebaari with the harbor always so crowded. You simply must get up early to join me for breakfast on the dock—or perhaps even my cutter if the weather permits!”
So is it a dock, or a jetty? Actually—what’s the difference? Is there a difference? I’m recognizing them as different words—so maybe Evie knows.
“Evie, what’s the difference between a dock and a jetty?” I whisper.
“How should I know?” she responds. “Ask our hostess, if you’re so curious.”
Aw man, but I don’t want to be rude—besides, she doesn’t exactly give us a lot of room to respond. She’s already sweeping off towards the next fancy gazebo or whatever she wants to show off. Or is it a pavilion? Frick! Not again!
“We could take our dinner here if you like!” Maari suggests, after she finishes expounding upon the benefits of having a roof outside. “It’s a bit dark, but the weather is lovely and I have alchemical lamps imported from the city that are much more powerful than simple oil lamps—and without the smell!”
She really is pretty excited about all the stuff she has. I mean, I get it. Having stuff is cool. I’ve got plastic hair clips and probably the only pair of jeans in the whole world, as beat up as they are now. I had a gun, but Talla confiscated that when we first met and didn’t give it back when we became friends. I’m just wondering when Maari’s going to start showing us who she is instead of what she has.
Or maybe she’s the sort of person who doesn’t have anything more to her than that. I doubt it. Rich noble clan or not, they don’t put vapid airheads in charge of cities.
...
Usually.
“That would be delightful,” Talla answers for us. “The light won’t attract bugs, will it?”
“No, no,” Maari waves off her concerns. “I have a skill that repels them.”
“How...practical,” Talla replies stiffly.
“Isn’t it just?!” the other noblewoman responds, either ignoring or not noticing the tone. “I always try to dine outdoors when I can—enjoying the riverside is the best thing about living so far from home.”
Hmm. Okay, I think I’m starting to get an understanding now. If this isn’t home, then she needs a reason to be proud of it anyway. I don’t think she’s happy to be out here, but she’s looking for things to be happy about, and she’s excited to share the things that make her happy with us, as her guests.
Alright. I hope I’m reading her right, because if so, I think I’m warming up to her. Maybe this isn’t going to be the terrifying meeting with a low level ruler I was dreading.
And I have to admit, even at night the view of the river from the pavilion is pretty stunning. It never gets fully dark because of the rings, and their reflection on the water shimmers with an almost otherworldly light.
Beneath the gazebo is an assortment of colorful blankets and cushions, freshly placed just for us, judging from how clean and neatly folded they are. A familiar orange crystal hangs from the ceiling, illuminating the space with a soft warm glow.
Maari invites us to sit before lounging on a small pile of cushions herself.
I thought that maybe the village couldn’t afford to waste lumber on extra furniture, but it’s looking like chairs just aren’t the norm here. Maari and Talla both sit with their legs stretched out to the side, while I plonk down on a nice looking cushion and sit cross-legged.
That, of all things, draws our hostess’ attention, and she gives me a long, appraising look, as if having only just noticed how much of a fricking weirdo I am by the standards of this world.
“Alright, I think I’ve contained myself long enough,” she sighs. “Talla, please introduce me to your...exotic friend.”
Oooh. I’m “exotic!” I try not to laugh as Talla ducks her head and gestures towards me.
“This is Allie. She comes from very far away and is still learning our language—so please be patient with her.”
Very far away is underselling it, but obviously it would be silly to go around introducing myself as an interdimensional alien. I try to copy their head-ducking motion, but my neck isn’t made for it, so it ends up being more like a bow.
“Nice to meet you,” I say. I practiced the heck out of that one in Fa’aun.
“Likewise, Allie,” Maari replies smoothly. “I’ve never met or even heard of your kind before—and we get all sorts coming down the river to trade in the imperial city. Even the way you sit is strange. It looks decidedly uncomfortable, but I suppose you have differently shaped legs.”
As icebreakers go...it’s a weird one, but I can roll with it.
“For me, this is strange,” I say, doing my best to get the words right. “I’m used to sitting with my back, and protection for my feet.”
I gesture to my homemade slipper-sandals, trying not to cringe at how awkward “sitting with my back” ended up sounding. I meant to say seats with back support. Thankfully, Maari doesn’t mind, and even picks up on my meaning.
“Oh? I’m afraid I can’t do anything about the latter, but I can have a chair brought out for you.”
“Thank you,” I reply, bowing my head. “You have a lovely house.”
I’m very careful to avoid using the word for “home,” after her earlier comment, and my observation pays off as her face lights up.
“Oh, that’s very kind of you to say!” she exclaims. “But it still has a ways to go, I think. It’s taken me years to refurbish it from the mess my predecessor left me—but we’ve spoken enough about me. Tell me about your home! Where are you from, and how did you arrive here?”
Ah...that might be a bit of a taboo topic. I cast a sidelong glance at Talla, who quickly comes to my rescue.
“I’m afraid that’s related to our mission,” she says apologetically. “I can’t let her discuss that without Draga’s permission.”
“Ah, foiled again by those pesky rangers,” Maari sighs. “Not to fret—I’m sure we can find something to talk about. How long have you been on the continent? I simply must assume you come from across the ocean—I’d have heard of your kind otherwise.”
Talla frowns and our hostess holds up her hands defensively.
“Surely I’m allowed to make simple deductions, cousin!” she insists. “It must have been a hard journey.”
“Yes,” I say, resisting the urge to draw my knees up to my chest. “It was.”
“Oh dear,” Maari sighs. “Bad memories? I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. “It’s fine. I’ve been here...”
I trail off, realizing I haven’t really done the greatest job of counting. I was marking the days for a while back in the cave, but it’s all been a bit of a blur since running into the Fa’aun and then meeting the rangers. I also realize that I don’t know how they track time here. Days are a common unit, but who knows what other differences there might be. What if their second is a bit longer? How did we even come up with seconds, anyway?
“Nearly thirty days?” I hedge. “I’ve lost track.”
“After just a few weeks?” she asks, surprised.
Well that answers one question at least.
“They were long weeks.”
She gives me a sympathetic smile. “Well, I hope your time here leaves you wishing it were longer. You are a guest of Maari Shaa Baanu, and I pride myself on being an excellent hostess. Speaking of which, it seems like dinner is ready!”
On cue, a train of servants arrives, carrying trays with little legs on them—serving tray and table combined, how cute! They set the tables between us, artfully arranging everything in a way that makes the food look appetizing but also kind of makes me worry that taking anything is going to ruin the image. I’m struck with the impulse to take a picture on my phone, but I don’t have one and even if I did, what would I do with it? I don’t think they’ve got social media here.
I notice that the serving staff is a balanced mix of men and women, so I guess not everything is divided by sex. One of them even brings me a neat little floor chair, with plush cushioning for both my back and my bottom.
Wait, what the frick?! When did she find the time to send for that?
Maari notices my surprise and grins. “Like I said—I am an excellent hostess!”
I accept the chair with a bow, and appreciate the luxurious padding on my aching back. A month of sleeping on floors has left me with all sorts of lingering aches, and even a simple comfort like this is heavenly.
“I hope the food is to your liking,” Maari says. “I had them prepare a bit of everything, but if anything isn’t to your tastes, don’t hesitate to tell me so that I can have the cooks prepare something else.”
It’s hard to imagine them cooking any more food than they already have. The difference between Elder Saara and Lady Maari’s hospitality is stark. While the village broke open their stores in order to feed us a hearty but humble meal, Maari’s staff sets out a feast well and truly beyond what three people could ever possibly eat. And they just keep coming.
Grilled fish, a roasted bird that’s probably one of those fat not-chickens we had earlier, and more cuts of meat that I don’t recognize, a few of which sort of resemble beef if I squint. They’re topped with a variety of sauces and spices, and served alongside a whole selection of soups, salads, and more. There are bowls of fruit, jars of tangy-smelling something that I assume must be pickled, and even a small tray piled high with...
“Are those candies?!” I exclaim in surprise, forgetting to speak in Fa’aun, not that I know the word for candy.
Lady Maari giggles daintily and picks up the tray, holding it out towards me. “Something familiar? Go ahead and try one!”
I accept her offer, popping one of the hard candies into my mouth and savoring the sweet taste on my tongue as it slowly starts to dissolve. Yep—that’s candy. To my surprise, it turns sour after a moment, with different flavors waiting under each layer until it finally gives way to a squishy center that’s almost painfully sweet.
“Fun aren’t they?” Maari says with a grin. “My confectioner tries to replicate them at least once a year, but she’s never quite managed it. These are from Stebaari. I try not to indulge too often, since I only have a limited supply, but this seemed like the occasion!”
After that, it feels a lot easier to relax and just try whatever looks appetizing—and all of it tastes amazing! My favorite is a dish of thinly sliced strips of what is apparently the meat from an oasis prancer, lightly drizzled with a sauce made from the same yogurt Talla shared with us back in the caves—which is called “sa’atsi’i,” though I mentally shorten that to just satsi. Every bite is intense, with a garlicky flavor so strong that it makes my sinuses burn a little, but somehow doesn’t drown out the savory, beefy flavor of the meat.
How will I ever go back to lizard jerky?
To my surprise, there’s not a stingroot in sight—not the root, not the berries, and not even that aromatic and slightly spicy wine that I enjoyed back in the village. I’m even more surprised to find that I kind of miss the stuff—it grows on you.
Maari is also great company, enthusiastically sharing her own favorites and recommending different combinations.
“Here, Allie—try this drink with the satsi!” she says, filling my cup with an aromatic spirit.
I take a sip of the drink, which has a menthol-like cooling effect that spreads the pleasant tingle from the satsi through my entire olfactory system and then carries it down as I swallow, leaving me with a faintly sweet aftertaste and a cleansed palate, perfect to take another bite!
“Wow!” I sigh. “That’s incredible!”
“Be careful with that one, Allie,” Talla warns. “It’s deceptively strong, and you’ve got a small body. Don’t overdo it.”
“Don’t worry!” I reassure her as Maari refills my cup. “I used to go out drinking all the time, and I’m good at stopping before I...” I pause for a second, my already slightly fuzzy brain failing to supply the words I’m looking for before I give up and switch languages. “[Black out.]”
For whatever reason, Talla’s face only grows more concerned at that. “Why do you know how much that is?” she shakes her head. “No—more importantly, why is that your measure of when to stop?”
“Oh don’t be such a worrier, cousin!” Maari admonishes her. “We’re among friends here, what’s the harm in a little fun? The poor girl looks like she needs it.”
Talla huffs irritably, but doesn’t argue. “Just be careful, alright?”
“Of course!” I promise. “I know what I’m doing.”
Comments
Misurae
Allie, baby girl, precious murder bean, you haven't had a single clue what you're doing since you got here.
Mountainking
I really hope Maari doesn't betray them. I like her
Cellinia
And she, in fact, did not know what she was doing.
DireGoat
Said everyone right before the rest of the night turns into a complete blur.
Kennyevilmonkey
Why do I feel like she doesn't know what she is doing?
darkmuch
Famous last words
Azgaroth
Thank for the chapter. OH FUCK! The phrase to never say at the end of a chapter.....
