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Ask Me Anything #3 - Who Knows What You're Doing?
🕑 Added 2023-02-15 00:25:25 +0000 UTCQ: Do you have any friends/ family/colleagues who know about your side gig? (Mikhael Kates)
A: Short answer: yes, plenty of people around me know about the gig. All of my close friends are aware of it, though none (to my knowledge) are actual readers. Most of them have known for 7-8 years, a couple longer than that. I didn't disclose it during the first few years, then told a few at a time over the last decade. None seemed particularly surprised nor did they react negatively. It's just a side thing I do and generally not a particularly interesting topic (to them, at least). I don't dwell on it.
I haven't told my (fairly traditional/conservative) family, nor do I plan to do that in the foreseeable future. I can't imagine that conversation bringing them anything but distress. There's just no point to it.
I haven't told anyone at work. Again, I don't see an upside and I don't have a very strong urge to get validation from them (not that I think it would lead to validation). I'm happy enough with the dozen or so people who know.
Lastly, there's one "category" of people that wasn't part of the question, and it's "girlfriends." Considering how crass and demeaning the comic is toward women, it would seem like the one group of people I wouldn't tell about my hobby. You'd expect women to run away screaming upon hearing what I do in my spare time.
If you thought that, you'd be wrong. This is in fact something I disclose almost immediately to anyone I'm starting a relationship with. To paraphrase a wise comedian, "to love me, you have to love 100% of me, even the shit, because I'm 90% shit. If you don't love 100% of me, then you don't love me."
The reaction has been either amusement or interest. Out of the half-dozen I've told, there's only one who just ghosted me (meh, whatever); the others either asked question about it, showed genuine interest in the concept/character/stories, or (at worst) shrugged it off like it didn't matter. Obviously, most of them think my fascination for big boobs is goofy. They'll say "t'es épais !", which is Quebec French for "You're an idjit" (while laughing or rolling their eyes). They don't get it, but they get it, know what I mean? And once it's disclosed, it's barely a topic of conversation after that—though it's led to some pretty interesting and deep conversations on sexuality and kinks a few times.
And that's about it. Nowadays, it barely comes up. In fact, just this past weekend (while watching the Super Bowl at the local equivalent of a Hooters), one of my close friends didn't even know I'd restarted the comic three years ago after that 2017-2018 hiatus. No one cares. They've known me for so long that my inner depravity (which is matched by their own anyway) doesn't really alter their perception of me.
Thanks for reading!
--Jaycee
Comments
John Hall
Since my own preferences are the same (in erotic fantasy at any rate), I'm certainly not going to complain about that.
Jaycee Knight
True, I've worked to rebalance things a bit, but I think it's still skewed heavily toward women largely due to my own preferences.
John Hall
"Considering how crass and demeaning the comic is toward women" To be fair, it's pretty crass and demeaning towards men too. :)
Jaycee Knight
Yeah, I certainly felt that during the first few years. I spent a great deal of time hustling to boost the comic's reach. At some point, I needed some help with the graphics of the site (if you look at the old site on archive.org, you'll understand why), so I enrolled a friend of mine who was a graphic designer (and a perv). He was very happy to help. I think that's what opened the floodgates. Eventually, I leaked it to a few more people, and now most of my close friends know what I'm up to.
A Man with Joe Name
Thanks for the deeply personal answer. I used to write erotica on Lit and other than one very good friend, nobody else in my personal day-to-day life ever knew about it. It was a little strange at times for me because it was a significant part of my life that I couldn't tell anyone about.
