schlugliminal
patreon
parable for codependents
🕑 Added 2020-12-17 02:25:11 +0000 UTCMy mother wanted desperately to be needed by me, to be the biggest part of my life, and in some ways I think to start over and be me instead, and she inserted herself in all kinds of forceful and unproductive ways to meet that desire. When she could not establish the relationship she wanted with the person she imagined me to be, she blamed me, she blamed all of the people who supported me, and she blamed herself. But laying blame is not useful. It's just how our story unfolded. She was unhappy and she thought somehow that I was her cure. She demanded happiness from me, and continually caused herself pain when she realized she could not extract it; and the closer she got, the more she realized that her conception of who I am in my absence was merely a fantasy she created.
I learned a lot from my mother. Let her stumbling be a parable for grounding yourself in the present, and allowing others to deviate from your course. We may weave and intersect, but we all must ultimately be willing to walk our path alone--even when it gets late the shadows are long. You cannot force somebody to be your bravery.
