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The Fox Hole 111
🕑 Added 2025-07-27 07:42:39 +0000 UTCChapter 111:
– Haru –
...She descended slowly, her feet not touching the ground at first. She hovered just above it, then lowered until her heels clicked against the dirt.
She looked exactly how I imagined the god of blood and death might look—if that god had chosen to appear as one of the single most dangerously beautiful women I had ever seen.
She was stunning, almost overwhelmingly so. Her body was shaped perfectly, a vision of feminine curves accented boldly by the tight red leather outfit she wore. It clung snugly to her torso, tracing the shape of a slim waist that flared outward to wide, full hips. The leather outfit had been clearly designed to emphasize the lushness of her figure. My eyes were drawn upwards, trailing along the material that hugged every inch of her torso and chest, which strained against the heavy weight of breasts large enough that they seemed ready to burst free.
Her skin was almost unnaturally pale, smooth, and flawless. Not a single imperfection marred its ghostly surface. She tilted her head slightly, regarding me with intense, unblinking eyes. They were deep crimson, so vividly red that they seemed to pierce right through me. Her blood-red hair flowed down in gentle waves, framing a face that was beautifully sculpted and perfectly shaped. Her jawline and cheekbones were well defined, her nose slim and delicate, and her lips were full and painted in a darker shade of crimson to match her eyes. Everything about her was intensely attractive, making it difficult to look away.
She glared at me, openly hostile. I could feel the anger radiating off her, her energy boiling just below the surface. She took a step toward me, her body moving fluidly, hips swaying slowly as she approached. My heart rate increased slightly in anticipation. Despite her threatening posture, my initial thought came clearly to my mind before anything else.
I can fix her…
She narrowed her eyes, those piercing red irises seeming to burn brighter as she stepped forward again. Her voice came out sharp and clear, every word laced heavily with anger. "You," she growled, pointing one slender, perfectly manicured finger toward my chest. "You are the mortal that dared to kill my chosen champion."
I looked down at the finger pointed at me, and then calmly met her eyes again. Her lips twisted in displeasure as she stared at me, fury practically sparking off her body in waves.
I shrugged my shoulders slightly. "If you mean Hidan, then yeah," I answered casually, not bothering to hide the slight smirk that tugged at the corner of my mouth.
"What manner of beast are you?" the blood god demanded fiercely. Her attention flickered to the ten golden tails slowly swaying behind me, each motion graceful yet dangerous. Her gaze traveled upward, finally landing on the fluffy, twitching fox ears atop my head. Her lips tightened, betraying her disgust at my appearance.
I met her glare with a casual smirk, deliberately baring my sharpened canine teeth as I tilted my head slightly. "I'm a kitsune—a demon fox," I informed her calmly, confidence radiating from my stance. "Are you startled by my handsomeness?"
"I have never heard of a demon fox," her tone dripping with contempt. "Unless you're referring to Kurama, that abomination born when that foolish sage tore apart the evil demon tree over a thousand years ago. Those monsters and that tree should never have polluted this world. Are you another intruder?"
I raised a hand, rubbing the back of my neck and offering her an apologetic shrug. "Technically, I'm not from this world," I admitted.
Her reaction was instant and explosive. "An invader from another world!" she roared. Her perfect features twisted further. "You will pay dearly for killing my champion and trespassing where you are not welcome!"
Huh, maybe fixing her wouldn't be as easy as I thought…
Jashin raised one delicate hand, and I watched in fascination as blood flowed from her palm, rapidly shaping itself into a scythe. The weapon solidified swiftly.
She moved abruptly, her speed shockingly fast.
In less than a blink, she was upon me, the razor edge of her scythe aimed precisely for my throat!
Surprise shot through me as I swiftly ducked beneath the lethal swipe. It had been a while since I had taken a fight seriously, and she had caught me off guard with her speed for a second there.
But she was a goddess after all, and clearly not a weak one.
Recovering quickly, I sprang upward, channeling my strength and momentum into a powerful punch aimed squarely at her stomach. My fist connected solidly, sinking deep into her abdomen. Her crimson eyes widened in shock, the air violently forced from her lungs as saliva sprayed from her lips. Her body arched backward dramatically, propelled by the sheer force of my strike.
She flew backward through the air, her red hair whipping around her pale, beautiful face as she disappeared over the treetops, far beyond my sight.
– Kakashi –
The sky had turned an unsettling shade of blood red, casting an eerie, crimson glow over the village and surrounding forest. Kakashi stared upward with narrowed eyes, hands casually tucked into his pockets. He'd encountered countless bizarre and troubling sights in his life as a shinobi, but this was something entirely new he had to admit.
Suddenly, a powerful, booming voice echoed from above, resonating across the village and through the distant forest around the village as well.
The voice thundered angrily, demanding to know who had dared kill its champion. The sheer volume of the voice made Kakashi wince slightly, its echo carrying for kilometers.
He found himself atop the Hokage Tower along with several other high-ranking shinobi, all sharing confused and wary glances as they tried to make sense of the unexpected event. A moment later, a familiar energetic presence landed swiftly beside him. Gai straightened, flashing Kakashi his characteristic wide grin and striking his signature dramatic pose.
"Kakashi, my hip and cool rival!" Gai announced enthusiastically, clearly unbothered by the unsettling atmosphere. "Do you have any idea what's happening right now? Why has the sky suddenly turned such a fierce shade of red? Admittedly, it makes for quite the inspiring background to train under, but even I am confused. And what was that strange voice?"
Kakashi sighed softly, offering a casual shrug. "I'm not exactly sure," he replied calmly, his voice even and thoughtful. "Maybe someone went and managed to piss off a god or something."
Gai raised an eyebrow curiously, tilting his head slightly. "Gods? Do you really think gods are real?" he asked with genuine intrigue.
A couple of months earlier, Kakashi might have dismissed the notion outright. But after their multiple visits to The Fox Hole and witnessing firsthand various gods casually enjoying meals at the tables or drinks at the bar, both he and Gai knew the answer.
"Fair point," Gai conceded with a nod, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "As expected of my brilliant rival! But which god do you think is angry, and more importantly, who has angered them?"
Just then, Kakashi and Guy heard the unmistakable scream of a woman, sharp and piercing, echoing through the air.
A split second later, an explosive boom rocked the entire area directly below them, shaking the mountaintop they stood on. Both shinobi quickly stepped toward the edge to see what happened.
Looking down, Kakashi felt his eyebrows lift in surprise beneath his forehead protector. The carved face of Minato Namikaze on the Hokage mountain had been almost completely destroyed, fractured into rubble from the sheer impact of whoever—or whatever—had crashed into it.
From amidst the clouds of dust and shattered stone emerged a woman. She clawed herself out from the debris, straightening slowly. Kakashi’s eye widened slightly as he took her in clearly for the first time.
She was stunning, her skin flawlessly pale, and her long, silky hair cascaded in vibrant waves of deep, blood-red color. Her body was shaped to perfection with full, generous curves highlighted by a tight red outfit that left little to the imagination. Her breasts and hips were shaped so perfectly they could have come straight out of one of Jiraiya-sama's ero novels.
Kakashi couldn't help but approve of the striking figure before him, though curiosity quickly overtook admiration as he wondered exactly who she was.
Was this an actual goddess?
"How dare you send me flying, you damned demon fox!" the woman shouted furiously toward the sky, her voice filled with raw anger. She clenched her fists, and the ground trembled slightly with the intensity of her rage. "I am the blood god Jashin, and I will not be bested so easily!"
"Ah, villains who openly announce themselves always make things easier," he murmured dryly to himself.
Beside him, Guy awkwardly poked Kakashi’s side with his elbow, an uncertain look crossing his face. "Kakashi," Guy asked quietly, leaning closer, "do you think we should help out?"
Kakashi paused for a moment, considering Guy's question carefully. His mind briefly flickered to the intelligence reports he'd read recently. Wasn't Jashin the name of some crazed cult deity that had started causing trouble in several nations lately? Seeing the goddess before him, Kakashi could certainly understand why people might be tempted to convert. Still, he shook off the distracting thought and lifted his head slightly, directing Guy's attention upward.
Guy followed Kakashi’s gaze skyward and immediately broke into a wide, enthusiastic grin, giving a thumbs-up. "Ah! It is the most youthful chef around—the great and magnanimous Haru! Clearly, he has this situation handled."
Kakashi gave a short nod, silently agreeing with his eccentric friend. Although he was going to have to report that Haru broke the Hokage monument…. Or at least Minato’s face.
– Haru –
We clashed fiercely, moving back and forth through the skies high above Konoha. Jashin's speed and strength were impressive, even by my standards, but what irritated me most was her regeneration. Every cut from my claws and every scorch from my foxfire healed almost instantly, no matter how deep or severe the wound. She seemed to be mocking me with her constant recovery.
Did I have any hesitation about hitting such an extraordinarily beautiful woman? Absolutely fucking not. My claws and fists were rated E—for everyone. I struck her again, my claws slashing cleanly across her arm and chest, and flames erupting across her pale skin. Still, she laughed defiantly as the injuries sealed up immediately.
"More blood for the Blood Goddess!" Jashin declared, her voice ringing out clearly with arrogant confidence.
I narrowed my eyes at her boast, feeling like I'd heard something similar before. But before I could figure it out, the already crimson sky above us seemed to tear itself apart. My eyes widened involuntarily as I stared upward. A massive hole opened, and an immense torrent of thick, dark blood began pouring out, cascading downwards. There was enough blood to flood the entire Leaf Village below us. My pulse quickened in alarm.
Magicules surged powerfully throughout my body. I immediately began preparing to incinerate the entire flood with foxfire to protect the village below. But before I could unleash the spell, the torrent of blood changed course, swirling around Jashin instead of continuing downward.
The blood rapidly encircled her, twisting and reshaping itself into a gigantic humanoid form. It towered above me in the air, powerful and menacing—a massive warrior-figure completely made of flowing blood. It reminded me suspiciously of a blood-themed version of the Susanoo I'd seen Uchiha use. Given that this was the Naruto world, though, I shouldn't have been surprised.
Jashin floated comfortably inside the chest of her colossal blood construct, staring down at me with a triumphant smile. "Are you ready, demon fox?" she taunted, her voice echoing from within the massive form. "Now let's see if you can withstand the true power of a goddess!"
Now that she was the size of an entire mountain and radiating power that I was pretty sure surpassed even a fully powered jinchuriki, I knew without a doubt I could not fight her here in the Leaf Village.
One wrong move, and half the village would be flattened. I could already sense that Naruko and Kushina had both returned to the village and were watching everything unfold from below. Their chakra signatures were pulsing with concern and restrained energy. Naruko's chakra was especially unstable. I could tell she was on the verge of transforming into her full fox form and launching into the sky to support me. I silently hoped Kushina would hold her back. This wasn’t a fight either of them should jump into blindly.
Fighting a goddess like Jashin was a different experience than dealing with the devils we had gone up against in the past. Gods were something else entirely. They had authority that bent the environment, and I was starting to wonder how far Jashin's domain over blood really extended. Clearly, it went beyond just summoning an enormous blood Susanoo. One that, for whatever reason, had massive tits. I had no idea what kind of logic went into that design choice, but I wasn’t going to dwell on it.
Still, a part of me was convinced that if Madara could see what was happening right now, he would be rolling in his grave…
Blue flames wrapped tightly around my body as I surged forward, my feet kicking off from the air itself. Sonic booms echoed in rapid succession behind me as I broke through the sound barrier, closing the distance between us in an instant.
Despite being inside her massive protective construct made entirely of blood, Jashin let out a surprised squeak the moment I slammed into her. My shoulder collided with her midsection, and I did not slow down. I kept pushing, forcing us both through the sky, our combined momentum carrying us several kilometers away from the village. The wind howled in my sensitive ears, but I stayed locked in.
As we flew through the sky, I grabbed one of her enormous blood-formed breasts with one hand and twisted my body. Using the leverage, I hurled her with everything I had. Her body shot down like a missile, ripping through the clouds and crashing toward the forest below.
She hit the ground hard, the resulting impact sending dirt, trees, and stone flying in every direction. A massive crater formed where she landed, the outer edges scorched by the heat still clinging to her aura.
I floated above the wreckage, catching my breath and watching the dust cloud rise. That punch that sent her flying into the Leaf Village earlier had honestly been an accident. I had not been thinking about where she would land. It was pure luck that nothing important had been destroyed. At worst, I had probably scared the fuck out of half the village.
I sighed and muttered to myself, "I’ll apologize later. Maybe offer a free food buffet or something. That usually works..."
Oh, it looks like she was back up already.
Below, the massive blood construct flung its gigantic hands outward, unleashing razor-sharp waves of blood that hurtled toward me rapidly. I scoffed, assuming the attack would be simple enough to avoid, and twisted my body in midair, ready to dodge. But as the crimson blades approached, they exploded abruptly, showering the sky with droplets of blood in every direction.
I reacted quickly, spinning and twisting to evade the spray, but despite my efforts, several droplets splattered against my skin. And then, I watched as they seeped right through and felt as they entered my own blood stream.
Jashin, still secure inside her enormous blood construct, burst into triumphant laughter. "I've got you now, intruder!" she called out, her voice filled with malicious glee.
I stared down at her, wondering what the hell she meant. A sudden, violent surge shot through my entire body. My muscles seized up painfully, every limb locking into place.
I tried to move, but my limbs wouldn't respond at all. My veins felt tight, like iron cables had been threaded through them, forcing every muscle into rigid stillness.
"What the hell?" I grunted, straining against whatever invisible force was keeping me immobilized.
Below me, Jashin stood at the core of her massive blood construct, her laughter echoing through the air. It was a sharp, gleeful cackle filled with twisted delight.
"What's wrong, kitsune?" she called up mockingly, spreading her arms theatrically. The colossal blood avatar mirrored her movements perfectly. "Feeling a little stiff, are we? I told you," Jashin continued smugly. "My domain is blood itself. Just one tiny drop and I control you completely. Did you really think you could win against a goddess like me? Especially after you dared kill my precious Hidan?"
"Your champion was nothing but an annoying little shit," I managed to snap back at her. "You're welcome, by the way. The world's better off without him."
Her expression twisted sharply, the arrogant grin quickly replaced by pure fury. "You'll regret that insolence, mortal!" she snarled, her hands curling into tight fists. The colossal blood construct shuddered, surging upwards with frightening speed.
I was still frozen in mid air, and watched as the enormous avatar rose steadily, closing the distance rapidly between us. The massive form reached eye-level with me, its bloody visage mere meters from my frozen body.
A sudden grin spread slowly across my face. "You were wrong about one thing just now, Jashin," I said.
"What nonsense are you spouting, mortal?" she snapped, her voice sharp with irritation and scorn.
I laughed openly, meeting her angry gaze without flinching. "That's exactly it," I replied, my tone hard and defiant. "I'm no mortal."
The moment the words left my mouth, intense heat ignited deep inside my chest. It burned fiercely, rapidly building in intensity. The sensation rushed through my veins, searing away every trace of her contaminated blood that had paralyzed me moments before. My muscles instantly released.
Flames exploded outward from my body, a blazing inferno of pure foxfire erupting with violent intensity. I felt the sheer force of the flames ripple outward, obliterating everything in their path.
Jashin's shocked scream echoed sharply as she found herself caught in the inferno. She flailed in pain, twisting violently as her immense blood construct rapidly evaporated, reduced instantly to nothingness.
For a brief moment, Jashin's perfect, pale skin blistered and charred before her divine regeneration swiftly repaired the damage. Her eyes widened furiously, her expression contorted with rage as the fires subsided. But while her flesh healed without issue, her tight, red leather outfit had no such luck.
It was utterly incinerated, destroyed beyond recognition by my flames.
She hovered directly in front of me now, fully naked, her eyes blazing with anger as she glared daggers at me. "Stupid fox!" she hissed. "That outfit was one of my favorites!"
Despite her furious complaints, I found my attention abruptly captured by something far more distracting. Her voluptuous chest was right in front of me, mere inches away, her full, round breasts topped by delicate pink nipples. I couldn't help but stare for a moment, my gaze unapologetically appreciating the sight. They were impressive, beautifully shaped, and undeniably enticing.
My eyes slowly traveled downward over her slender, toned figure, tracing the smooth curve of her waist and the enticing swell of her hips. My gaze lingered lower, confirming that the carpet did indeed match the drapes. She had perfectly groomed red hairs neatly arranged above delicate pink pussy lips.
She noticed exactly where my eyes had wandered, and I saw her face flush in humiliation and indignation, her fists trembling visibly. "You disgusting beast," she snarled, attempting to cover herself momentarily before catching herself and defiantly dropping her arms, choosing pride over modesty. "Keep your perverted eyes off of me!"
I smirked, deliberately allowing my gaze to travel slowly back up her body before meeting her fiery crimson eyes once more. "You started this fight, didn't you?" I asked calmly, folding my arms across my chest in an intentionally casual gesture. "If you didn't want your clothing destroyed, maybe you shouldn't have attacked me."
"You killed my champion, and now you have humiliated me like this? You think this is amusing?"
"Actually," I replied, smiling casually as I maintained eye contact without wavering, "Yeah…”
“WAH!??”
…Jashin floated a few feet away, her crimson eyes narrowed. Her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, her pale skin still flushed from the flames, but her rage seemed to be cooling. Slowly, bit by bit, the bloodlust that had been pouring off her began to settle. Her body was tense, but no longer trembling with rage.
Her lips curled with frustration, not hatred.
"...You're the most infuriating opponent I've ever fought…"
I chuckled, brushing a bit of ash off my arm. "I've definitely heard that before," I said casually, not even bothering to hide my grin. "You’re not the first, and I doubt you’ll be the last."
I think she was starting to realize killing me was impossible for her. But I was also a bit annoyed at how I wasn't doing any permanent damage on her either—not that I'd want to permanently maim such a beautiful body but still.
I think I was able to figure out how her regeneration worked though. Her realm, or whatever she was connected to was probably filled with copious amounts of BLOOD and sacrifices. She'd probably been collecting them for millennia, and any damage I did to her was just being healed by her massive stockpile.
I suspect that if someone wanted to really kill her they would first have to go to her realm and destroy it. I'd keep that in the back of my mind for the time being if we were really done fighting.
"You’ve proven one thing to me," she said finally, her voice steadier. "You’re not a mortal." Then she lifted one hand and snapped her fingers. Instantly, her body was wrapped once again in that same impossibly tight red leather outfit. It reformed around her curves like it had never been destroyed, hugging every contour with perfect precision.
I blinked and gave her a deadpan stare. "Wait. I thought you said that outfit was your favorite."
"It was," she grumbled. She tugged at one of the sleeves unnecessarily, pretending to adjust it. "That doesn’t mean I didn’t have multiple copies made. I am a goddess, after all..."
I glanced down and saw Naruko rapidly approaching. Bright red flames ignited beneath her feet, propelling her upward swiftly until she reached my side. She latched onto my arm tightly. Turning her fierce glare toward Jashin, she demanded sharply, "Why the fuck are you attacking my man, you trumped-up whore goddess!?"
I couldn't help but snort at Naruko's bluntness, and Jashin looked momentarily taken aback. To my surprise, the goddess actually chuckled softly after a moment..
"You would have gotten along quite well with Hidan, child," she remarked, a faint smirk curling her lips.
My brows furrowed slightly in irritation, prompting me to speak up. "Huh, hold on—why exactly are you being so nice to her, yet trying to kill me?"
Jashin rolled her red eyes dramatically. "Because you," she spat, pointing an accusatory finger at my chest, "are an intruder in this world, and she is not." Jashin turned her focus fully onto Naruko. Her eyes took on a gleeful, almost maniacal glint as a wide smile spread slowly across her face. "Besides," she continued breathlessly, stepping closer, "I am very pleased with you, Naruko Uzumaki. You and your brother accomplished something extraordinary. Killing the unkillable—the Nine-Tailed Bijuu, Kurama."
She leaned even closer, eyes now fixed with unsettling excitement on Naruko's twitching fox ears and fluffy tails. Jashin's breathing became heavy and rapid, causing her ample chest to heave noticeably beneath her tight red outfit. She extended a trembling hand slightly, almost as if she wanted to touch Naruko but restrained herself at the last second.
"Tell me, child," Jashin whispered fervently, her voice trembling with raw eagerness. "Did the chakra beast suffer? Did it scream in delightful agony when you ripped its essence and soul apart, claiming its power as your own? Did you delight in the violence of such domination!? Oh, how I wished I could have been there to see it all!"
Naruko visibly stiffened at Jashin's intense questioning, her grip on my arm tightening even more, nails digging painfully into my skin. Her eyes widened slightly, clearly uncomfortable with the goddess's crazy fascination.
I stared at Jashin incredulously, suddenly feeling more than a little unsettled by the clear insanity dancing openly behind her vivid crimson eyes.
Okay... I was now pretty damn sure I could not fix this woman. In fact, I was giving up. Yes she was crazy hot, but also—just CRAZY.
I took a deep breath, deciding it was time to snap the goddess out of her disturbing, excited trance. Looking directly into her piercing crimson eyes, I asked bluntly, "So, what happens now?"
Jashin turned her gaze from Naruko, her expression shifting from eagerness to a childish pout. She folded her arms beneath her full chest, lips pursed unhappily as she muttered quietly, "I wanted an answer to my question first."
Naruko rolled her eyes dramatically beside me and didn't even bother hiding her disgust. "Yeah, you're definitely not getting one because you're creepy as fuck," she shot back sharply, glaring defiantly at the goddess.
"Hmph," Jashin snorted disdainfully, finally turning her full attention back toward me. Her fiery gaze hardened slightly, the previous amusement fading away into something colder and more serious. "Listen carefully, kitsune. As a goddess of this world, I am far from pleased with intruders—especially those arrogant enough to kill my chosen champion." Her lips curled slightly in irritation. "...Even though the other gods and goddesses may despise me, they will still side with me if I complain to them about an annoying, alien fox interfering in my affairs." She leaned forward slightly, a mocking smile playing across her lips as she added teasingly, "I'm sure neither of us wants that, now do we?"
I sighed heavily, already sensing exactly where this conversation was headed. "Alright, I'll bite. What exactly do you want from me in return?"
Naruko stiffened at my side, her fingers tightening even further around my arm. She muttered urgently into my ear, voice tense with suspicion, "You shouldn't make a deal with this bitch, Haru. She's clearly insane."
I gently squeezed Naruko's hand reassuringly, turning slightly to whisper back calmly, "Relax, Naruko. I'll be fine."
Truthfully, Jashin didn't know it, but I had already worked out a fallback plan. During our earlier confrontations, she'd opened a portal to her realm twice right in front of me. Both times, I'd been paying close attention. The portal had a very distinctive feel—its scent, for lack of a better word—and I was confident I could find my way there if I ever truly needed to. If Jashin tried to screw me over, I'd destroy her realm completely. Simple as that.
Or I just sick Ranni or Milim on this crazy bitch…
Still, I didn't want to rely on my women to fight my battles. Call it a pride thing. And while Milim wasn't my woman yet, I certainly didn't want her always coming to my rescue.
“Fine then, what I want is simple…” Jashin started to say.
—
…A couple of minutes later, Jashin had vanished, returning to whatever twisted version of heaven she inhabited. Naruko and I flew back toward the Leaf Village. We descended slowly, touching down gently right in front of my restaurant.
Standing in front of the entrance, I immediately spotted Tsunade and Kushina. Tsunade had an expression of mild annoyance on her face, while Kushina stood beside her, looking far more amused than concerned.
"What the fuck was that all about, dattebane?" Kushina chuckled as she looked me up and down with a playful smirk. "Are you okay?"
I returned her smile confidently. "Of course I'm fine," I assured her casually. "As if some blood-obsessed goddess could actually take me on."
Tsunade let out a heavy sigh, shaking her head slightly as she rubbed her temples. "Ninja life used to be so much less complicated," she grumbled wearily. "You'd kill someone with a kunai here, cast a devastating jutsu or two there, and then you'd go drown your emotions over a bottle or two of sake. Now there's gods, demons, other dimensions, and all this ridiculous shit."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes, leaning forward slightly with a teasing grin. "Funny, I didn't see you complaining when you sold your soul to my girlfriend Rias for eternal youth and beauty," I pointed out smugly.
Tsunade snorted dismissively, waving her hand as if brushing off the accusation. "Hey, I never claimed I couldn't be a hypocrite," she shot back dryly, a faint smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. Her expression grew slightly more serious as she fixed her eyes firmly on mine. "So, Haru, what exactly did the crazy blood goddess want?" Tsunade asked sharply. Her gaze darkened slightly as she added, "And more importantly, are you going to pay for wrecking the Hokage Monument when you tossed that bitch straight into it? Kakashi and Gai already ratted you out."
I scowled, muttering irritably under my breath, "Those bastards..." I sighed deeply and shrugged my shoulders, resigned. "Fine. I'll have some yokai come over and fix it…” I'd probably have to pay them out of my own pocket, but at this point, whatever.
Kushina snickered, nudging me playfully. "That's the price you pay for yeeting crazy goddesses into the middle of the village, dattebane. Especially throwing them right at my ex-boyfriends face…"
Ignoring Kushina's teasing, I turned my attention back toward Tsunade, my tone becoming more serious. "As for what the blood goddess actually wanted," I said slowly, pausing briefly to gather my thoughts, "she wants me to either kill or permanently remove all of the bijuu from this world..."
“…What?” Tsunade asked dumbly.
Naruko nodded and said that she was there. “That’s what the crazy bitch wants,” she said before she glanced at her mother for a second.
Naruko and Kushina moved closer, pressing gently against my sides. Naruko's tails wrapped around mine playfully, the soft fur brushing teasingly against my own. Kushina rested her head on my shoulder, her long red hair cascading down my arm. Both women made me blush lightly, especially under Tsunade's knowing smirk.
"...So, according to Jashin," I began, clearing my throat awkwardly as Tsunade's eyes twinkled in amused observation, "the bijuu are far closer to the Divine Tree than anyone realizes."
Tsunade interrupted me immediately with a flat, unimpressed look. "Listen, Haru," she sighed irritably, rubbing one temple as if warding off an oncoming headache, "I’m nothing like Jiraiya—I have zero interest in knowing the future or reading some ridiculous alternate-universe manga. I don't know what the hell the 'Divine Tree' is, nor do I know much about the bijuu. So, start from the beginning."
I rolled my eyes lightly but nodded, deciding to simplify things for everyone's sake. "Alright, long story short," I summarized clearly, holding Tsunade's gaze, "the bijuu were originally born from a massive tree that literally fed on the planet itself, growing immortal fruits that grant incredible power. The tailed beasts continue to feed off the world's natural energy—just much slower than the tree originally did. That's why they're immortal. They sustain themselves like parasites, constantly drawing chakra directly from the earth."
Tsunade narrowed her eyes thoughtfully, her expression becoming serious as she processed the information silently.
I continued, "Jashin told me she and the other gods have always wanted them gone. According to her, removing the bijuu completely would actually cause chakra to flourish and spread more freely across the entire world. People would inevitably become much more powerful and eventually more violent." I paused briefly, adding dryly, "That last part seemed to excite Jashin the most, obviously."
Kushina pouted, frowning at the realization. "These weak-ass gods can't even solve their own problems, so they're dumping their problems on my man?"
Naruko quickly interjected, correcting her mother. "Our man!”
From my other side, Kushina immediately flashed Naruko a knowing smirk, clearly having achieved exactly what she'd been aiming for. Naruko's eyes widened slightly, and her cheeks quickly flushed a vivid shade of red as she realized she'd walked right into her mother's playful trap.
I couldn't help but grin at Naruko's embarrassed reaction.
Tsunade cleared her throat loudly, bringing my attention back to her. Her eyes narrowed curiously as she looked at me expectantly. "Did Jashin give you any specific timeframe to handle the tailed beasts?" she asked pointedly.
My tails immediately stiffened with sudden realization, a wide, mischievous grin spread slowly across my face. "Actually," I replied cheerfully, unable to hide my delight, "no, she didn't. This sounds like a problem for future Haru," I declared. "Way, way into the future, actually."
"That's the spirit!" she exclaimed approvingly. She then turned abruptly, raising her voice and addressing the gathered ninja standing awkwardly nearby. "Alright, the danger has officially passed," Tsunade announced loudly, waving them all away impatiently. "You can all clear out now because I want to go to bed early and sleep off this damned headache!"
We watched Tsunade walk away, shoulders slumped slightly in exhaustion.
Naruko snorted beside me, shaking her head slowly with disbelief. "Wow," she muttered dryly, smirking slightly as she glanced at me and Kushina. "When Tsunade doesn't even want to grab a drink afterward, you know she's completely done with today."
I kept my arms securely wrapped around Kushina and Naruko, their warm bodies pressed comfortably against mine, as I guided them gently away from the front entrance of my restaurant.
Instead of heading through the main door as usual, I turned us toward the narrow path that led around to the side of the building, heading for the secluded backdoor I rarely used.
Naruko tilted her head curiously. "Haru, why are we heading this way?" she asked innocently, tugging lightly at my arm.
Beside me, Kushina also raised a questioning eyebrow, her beautiful face showing a hint of intrigue as her deep red hair swayed gently with our movement. "Yeah, Haru, what gives?" she added softly, pressing herself slightly closer against my side as we walked. "You never use this entrance."
I chuckled quietly, squeezing both women affectionately. "Honestly, I've dealt with enough goddesses tonight," I explained. "Right now, the restaurant is completely packed with them…"
Naruko giggled lightly, leaning her head on my shoulder. "Yeah, I guess we've had enough divine intervention for one night," she quipped, clearly agreeing with me.
Kushina smiled warmly. "So, what's your plan then?"
Stopping at the backdoor, I gently pressed them both against me, drawing them closer. My heartbeat quickened slightly as I looked deeply into their eyes, lowering my voice to a teasing, intimate whisper. "Instead, I thought I'd end the evening right—just the three of us," I explained meaningfully, my lips curving upward into a playful, suggestive smile. "Together."
Both Kushina and Naruko paused, exchanging hesitant glances, their cheeks flushing simultaneously in adorable embarrassment as they realized exactly what I was implying.
Naruko bit her lower lip nervously, her blush deepening as she met my gaze again. "Oh…" she whispered quietly, her voice barely audible.
Kushina, however, recovered a bit quicker. Her initial surprise slowly melted into an amused, sultry smirk. "Well then," she purred softly, leaning in close enough that her warm breath brushed across my skin. "I suppose we shouldn't keep you waiting, should we?"
A quiet laugh escaped my lips as I reached out, pulling open the rarely used backdoor and ushering my two lovely ninja inside, eager to end the night in the best way possible…
XXX
Sometimes you can't fix her...
Comments
Artemis
Okay, good. I was legitimately worried that Haru would still try to pick up the crazy blood goddess. Man doesn't even pay enough attention to the women he's already in a relationship with. Don't know why he even thought he could "fix" her. Dude has zero experience or skills in psychiatric care. Ending the evening right: Haru drags them over to Rimuru's world to make Kushina fluffy too. Jashin be cray-cray, best to check off the first bijuu ASAP. They went together, so it wasn't lying. :3 I'm honestly surprised that none of Haru's partners have gotten pregnant yet since the lack of care about contraception has been mentioned several times before.
Shiraori
Don't give up Haru! You can definately fix her!
