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The Fox Hole 89
🕑 Added 2025-04-30 20:39:33 +0000 UTCChapter 89:
– Naruko –
Naruko stood across from Tsunade’s large desk, her nine rich, crimson tails swaying lazily behind her. Occasionally, one would flick absently, brushing the floor with a soft rustle.
Tsunade looked exceptionally irritated today, scowling down at a thick folder overflowing with paperwork.
“Okay, listen up, Naruko,” Tsunade began wearily, rubbing her temples in a clear sign of frustration. “Your brother Naruto, Kakashi, and Sakura left yesterday to track down Mukade, a rogue shinobi from Suna. The Sand Village has specifically asked for our help catching this guy—he’s slippery as hell, always escaping by using some puppet decoy or decoy. He’s got a reputation for making skilled ninjas look like absolute idiots.”
Naruko raised an eyebrow slightly. She knew exactly why she was being sent.
Tsunade didn’t need to say it out loud—Naruto was incredibly powerful these days, sure, but nobody was exactly calling him a genius either. He fell for obvious tricks way too easily. Naruko loved her brother dearly, but subtlety wasn’t his strong suit.
“So, you want me there because Naruto’s going to get fooled by this guy’s puppet shit, right?” she asked bluntly, smirking openly at the Hokage’s uncomfortable grimace. “Come on, Tsunade-sama. You can just say it. I promise it won’t hurt my feelings.”
Tsunade sighed heavily, giving Naruko a flat, unamused stare. “Fine, yes. Naruto's gotten strong enough to handle most threats head-on, but Mukade specializes in deception and distraction, exactly Naruto’s biggest weakness. Kakashi and Sakura are experienced, but having you there to keep Naruto focused and handle any unexpected tricks will be a big help.”
Naruko grinned broadly, nodding in cheerful acceptance. “Don’t worry, Tsunade-sama. I’m on it. Mukade won’t know what hit him. And I promise I won’t let Naruto make too much of an ass out of himself or blow up something important with his new fox powers!”
That only happened ONE… Okay, maybe three or four times so far…
Just as Tsunade rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to reply, the window behind her slid open quietly.
She turned quickly, a delighted smile spreading across her face as Haru gracefully hopped onto the windowsill.
Her tails wagged joyfully as she jumped across the room. “Haru! You’re back from your vacation already?” Before he could answer, she threw herself into his arms, pressing eagerly against his solid chest.
Haru chuckled softly, wrapping his arms warmly around her waist. “Hey, Naruko,” he murmured affectionately, leaning down and pressing a soft, lingering kiss onto the top of her head, right between her sensitive fox ears. That sent a happy little shiver down her spine, her tails flicking excitedly behind her.
She tilted her head back slightly to look into his eyes. “It really sucks. I just got assigned a mission by Tsunade-sama. I can’t believe I have to leave right when you’re finally back.”
He smiled gently down at her, brushing his thumb across her cheek affectionately. “Don’t worry. We ended up cutting the vacation short anyway—things got...complicated.” He glanced over at Tsunade with a slightly more serious expression. “Actually, I came here to speak with you, Tsunade...”
– Haru –
As soon as Naruko left, Tsunade blatantly leaned forward across her desk, smiling at me with a look I knew all too well.
I raised an eyebrow, my gaze drawn briefly downward. She wasn’t even trying to hide it. The woman knew exactly what she was doing, deliberately giving me a generous view of her cleavage.
“You know,” she drawled slowly, her lips curving into a playful smirk, “you showed up at the perfect time, Haru. I could really use a nice...distraction…right about now.”
I sighed quietly, shaking my head. “Come on, Tsunade. We don’t have that kind of relationship.”
She gave a dramatic little pout, leaning back into her chair with an exaggerated sigh. “Well, not yet anyway,” she muttered quietly, before shooting me a teasing grin. “But as Rias’s Rook, we’ll have plenty of opportunities in the future, right?” She chuckled softly at my dry expression, clearly enjoying herself. Then, sitting up straight again, she adjusted her tone. “Fine, fine. What do you need, Haru?”
I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, trying to find the best way to explain it. This was going to sound kinda bad.
“Well...you see, my little sister Kunou kinda gave her new friend’s mother a stroke. Accidentally, I mean.”
Tsunade stared at me blankly, her expression perfectly deadpan. “I’m definitely going to need more details than that.”
I sighed and glanced away, scratching my cheek. Damn it, this was embarrassing. “All right. So, it was the last day of our family’s vacation in Westeros. Kunou really wanted to meet a fairytale princess. So she snuck into the Red Keep and found Princess Myrcella. Then she proceeded to drag her everywhere around the castle so they could play together.”
Tsunade’s lips twitched, clearly trying not to laugh, and she motioned impatiently for me to continue.
I sighed again, deeper this time. “Well, obviously, guards tried to stop her. Kunou, being Kunou, took that as a challenge and beat them all up. And then she ended up beating up basically the entire guard force as well. Things kind of spiraled from there. Princess Myrcella’s mother, Queen Cersei, ended up having a stroke from the stress. Now Kunou and Myrcella are both upset about it.” I paused, quickly adding, “That’s the short version. I’m leaving out a lot of messy details…”
Tsunade stared at me for a long moment, clearly processing everything I’d just dumped on her. Then, slowly, she broke into a laugh. Reaching casually into her cleavage, she pulled out a bottle of sake and gave me a wink before taking a long sip directly from the bottle.
Had she really been keeping a bottle there that whole time, or was that ninja sleight of hand?
“I suppose I could take a look,” she said lightly, sitting back and stretching comfortably. “Though honestly, Asia Argento could probably heal this just as easily.”
I nodded thoughtfully, handing the bottle back to her. “Yeah, but Cersei is kind of...an evil bitch. I’d rather not expose Rias’s kind bishop to someone like that.”
Tsunade smirked playfully, raising an eyebrow at me. “But you have no problem exposing me to her?”
“Nope,” I replied shamelessly.
She laughed again, shaking her head as she drank another sip. “Fair enough. Alright, after you, then.”
—
…Kunou and Myrcella sat quietly side-by-side in one of the restaurant booths, their faces gloomy as they watched Tsunade work. Kunou’s tails drooped around her small body, a clear sign of how miserable she felt. Seeing her this down made me feel bad, even if she had caused the whole mess herself.
Tsunade leaned over Cersei Lannister, carefully moving her glowing green palm slowly over the queen’s forehead.
I stood nearby, arms crossed, watching closely. My gaze moved over the queen’s face. Even pale and unconscious, I had to admit she was strikingly beautiful. It was really a shame she was so fucking crazy. According to Sansa and Catelyn, Cersei had done some seriously insane shit in her time as royalty.
Probably better to keep her contained here, at least until we knew exactly what to do with her.
Technically, I’d kidnapped her after she collapsed. Though, the alternative was leaving her with Kunou and Myrcella both crying their eyes out. So here we were.
Tsunade pulled her hand back with a satisfied nod, the green glow fading. “All right, she’s good now,” she announced casually. “It was just a small stroke. Not really a big deal for an awesome medic like me.”
I rolled my eyes but gave her a grateful nod. “Thanks, Tsunade. I really appreciate you coming out here to help.”
She smirked, raising an eyebrow suggestively at me. “You know, Haru, I can think of a few much more satisfying ways you could thank me.”
I gave her a flat stare, not rising to the bait. “Maybe in the future, Tsunade. But right now, I’ve got enough trouble as it is.”
She pouted dramatically, shoulders sagging as she sighed. “Fine, back to boring paperwork for now then.” She gave me a lazy grin. “I can’t wait for the day I finally get to fuck off permanently to your world. I’d make a fantastic lazy rich devil, you know. Especially since my King, Rias, has so much money, she'll never care how much I lose gambling.”
“I’m sure you would enjoy that,” I chuckled dryly, shaking my head.
Tsunade turned, making sure I got a good long look as she deliberately swayed her hips while walking slowly toward the exit. I couldn’t help myself—I watched her ass the entire time until she finally disappeared through the door.
“My mom’s waking up!” Myrcella suddenly called out, sounding excited and nervous at the same time.
I turned my attention back immediately, walking quickly over to the booth. Cersei’s eyelashes fluttered open slowly, revealing dazed green eyes. She stared blankly up at the ceiling for a moment, clearly disoriented.
Myrcella grabbed her mother’s hand tightly, leaning forward with worry clear on her face. “Mother? Can you hear me? It’s me, Myrcella.”
Cersei blinked again, seeming to slowly regain her focus. Finally, her eyes settled on her daughter’s face. Her brow furrowed in confusion, then shifted to something darker and angrier as she noticed me standing nearby.
“You,” she hissed weakly, trying to sit up and failing. “What have you done to me? Where the hell am I?”
Myrcella gently squeezed her mother’s hand, trying her best to comfort her. “Mother, please stay calm. You had a stroke.”
Cersei’s eyes widened sharply at that. She immediately looked herself over in panic, touching her forehead and neck frantically. “A stroke? Why am I still alive? Why am I fine now?”
Myrcella smiled softly, trying to ease her mother’s obvious fear. “A beautiful older woman with healing magic came and fixed you. She said you’d be okay.”
Cersei immediately scoffed, practically spitting the words out. “Magic? What utter nonsense.” But as she spoke, her eyes slowly settled on me and then Kunou sitting anxiously nearby. Her gaze lingered on our tails, her expression shifting into horrified disbelief. She whispered harshly under her breath, “Was that fucking eunuch right all along?”
Her frantic eyes flicked around the interior of the Fox Hole—taking in the polished wooden tables, neatly arranged chairs, and the warm, cozy glow of lanterns hanging along the walls. The restaurant was quiet, empty except for our small group, but I could tell she was starting to spiral.
Cersei’s voice suddenly rose to an angry shout. “Why the fuck have I been kidnapped? Kidnapping a queen is punishable by death!” Her voice turned shrill and hysterical as she continued, “You’ll be hanged, then drawn and quartered, your filthy body parts paraded through the streets!”
I sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of my nose. Wow, Sansa wasn’t kidding—this woman really was completely out of her mind. I almost had to admire that she’d managed to claw her way onto a throne in the first place. It must have been exhausting living with that much paranoia.
Myrcella gently stroked her mother’s hand, clearly alarmed but still trying to soothe her. “Mother, please relax. They’re not here to hurt you. I promise—”
But before she could finish, Cersei lunged forward, snatching a fork off the nearby table and slashing wildly at Myrcella’s throat.
“You little demon!” Cersei shrieked hysterically, eyes blazing in madness. “You’re an imposter! My children are all dead—every one of them!”
Reacting purely on instinct, I shot forward. My hand darted out, grabbing Cersei’s wrist mere inches before the sharp prongs of the fork reached Myrcella’s skin. With a sharp twist, I forced her hand down safely to the table, the metal fork clattering harmlessly against the wooden surface.
Myrcella gasped loudly, eyes wide with shock and betrayal. Tears immediately sprang to her eyes. She looked utterly heartbroken at her mother’s violent outburst. Kunou moved closer to her friend, wrapping her tails protectively around the princess.
Cersei continued thrashing and screaming, eyes wild and unfocused. “Demons and trickery—traitors everywhere! I won’t be fooled! You’ll all burn for this!”
Fuck this.
I lifted my hand, quickly murmuring a simple sleeping spell. Soft purple light danced across my fingertips and washed gently over Cersei’s face. Instantly, her struggling ceased, and she slumped backward, eyes fluttering shut. Within seconds she was peacefully unconscious again, her breathing steady and even.
Myrcella stared numbly at her mother’s sleeping form, face pale. She spoke in a small, shaky voice. “She tried to stab me. My own mother just tried to kill me...”
Kunou hugged Myrcella tightly, whispering softly, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
Myrcella recovered quickly enough. Telling Kunou it wasn’t her fault. She always knew her mother was one bad day from truly going off the deep end. She was honestly surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. “Or maybe it happened after she blew up half the capital…” Myrcella sighed.
—
Yasaka came in a bit later and gently took charge of Myrcella. It was quickly decided she'd stay at the palace with Kunou and my mother, at least until everything settled.
Kunou hugged Myrcella tightly, refusing to let go for even a second. The girl had really bonded quickly, even if it was through some insane circumstances. I think Kunou just wanted another “big sister” after Tanya.
Cersei was another matter. Yasaka suggested we let the yokai mind healers try to work their magic on her. They were the same ones who helped Harry and Hermione several months back after their own run-ins with mind-fuckery and betrayal.
Could they completely erase years—maybe decades—of paranoia, manipulation, and general insanity from someone like Cersei Lannister?
Probably not.
But hopefully, they'd at least get her functioning enough to at least talk normally with her daughter again. After that, maybe I'd suggest she attend some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
…According to Myrcella, she'd literally never seen her mother without a wine glass.
Either way, for the moment, at least, that mess was sorted. Cersei was off the throne and no longer a threat to the North and Riverlands. I knew Sansa and Catelyn would breathe a sigh of relief hearing that.
What it meant for the rest of the Seven Kingdoms, I had no idea. Honestly, it wasn’t my problem. And it wasn’t Sansa's or Catelyn’s either, since they'd already declared their independence. Let Westeros figure out its own bullshit from here.
With that settled, I returned my attention to the familiar comfort of my kitchen. The grills were turned on, and several pans were heating steadily. The soft sizzle of oil beginning to warm filled the silence of the restaurant. The place was empty for now, giving me a chance to catch my breath. I pulled open the large fridge and slid in the extra “Drowned God meat” I'd wrapped up.
There was still a ton of the stuff left, and it tasted incredible, so I wasn't about to let it go to waste.
As I straightened up and closed the fridge, my eyes drifted over the quiet dining area. The tables were empty and neatly arranged, chairs tucked in perfectly beneath polished wooden surfaces. Warm lanterns hanging on the walls gave the place a cozy, inviting feel.
I wondered absently who would be the first to stop by today. Usually, it didn't take long before familiar faces came trickling in. The thought made me smile slightly as I turned back to the bar counter, wiping it down with a fresh rag.
We were back in business!
– Jamie –
Jaime Lannister woke up with the mother of all headaches. His head pounded sharply, making him grimace as he slowly sat upright. Every muscle in his body felt stiff and bruised, like he'd gone a few rounds against a fucking mountain.
Groaning, he rubbed his temples roughly and opened his eyes, slowly taking in his surroundings. He was sprawled awkwardly on the cold marble floor, right in the middle of the throne room. Around him, other soldiers and Kingsguard knights stirred, groaning and muttering curses. He noticed immediately their dented armor, their bruised faces—hell, everyone looked as bad as he felt.
"What the fuck happened?" Jaime muttered aloud, squinting painfully under the glare of sunlight streaming through the shattered windows. The throne room was trashed, furniture overturned, tapestries torn from the walls, shards of glass scattered across the floor.
Clearly, there had been a brutal fight, and just as clearly, they'd all lost…
"Ah, Ser Jaime, thank the gods you're awake!" Varys's familiar voice chimed out anxiously, echoing slightly off the stone walls. The eunuch hurried toward him, his usual composure gone, replaced with worry and agitation.
Jaime slowly stood up, wavering slightly before catching his balance. "Varys," he acknowledged gruffly, blinking away lingering dizziness. "What happened here?"
Varys let out a heavy sigh, his pale face drawn. "Exactly what I warned your sister about. She refused to believe me—insisted my words were nonsense, mere fantasy. And now look." He gestured dramatically around the ruined throne room. "The terrors of the North have descended upon us, Jaime. Demons—they've attacked the palace, taken Queen Cersei, kidnapped Princess Myrcella. Our kingdom is without a ruler. Chaos will erupt if we don't act swiftly."
Jaime stared at him blankly, trying desperately to process what the hell Varys was babbling about. He remembered bits and pieces now—the strange little girl with animal-like features holding Myrcella's hand, the sudden alarm, Cersei screaming at them to seize the intruder. He had rushed forward like the others, weapons drawn, and after that...nothing. Just darkness and pain.
"You're saying some little animal-girl and a handful of invaders did all this?" Jaime asked slowly, disbelief heavy in his voice. "This entire palace was guarded by hundreds of the finest soldiers in Westeros."
Varys nodded gravely. "Yes. These are no ordinary invaders, Jaime. They're the same monsters that destroyed the Twins, razed the Citadel in Oldtown, and reportedly killed the Drowned God itself. I tried to warn your sister, but she dismissed it as nonsense. Now she's gone, along with Myrcella."
Jaime shook his head in disbelief, bitterness rising in his throat. "Gone where?"
"Unknown," Varys admitted reluctantly. "But I'll do everything I can to gather information. We must locate them quickly. However, in the meantime, the city needs stability—a ruler, or at least someone acting as one, immediately. Without that, King's Landing will fall into panic and chaos."
Jaime stared hard at Varys, realization sinking in slowly. "You want me to take the throne."
Varys inclined his head cautiously, his expression neutral but determined. "Right now, Jaime, you're the only one who can. If you don't step up immediately, the people will riot, the city will burn. You know how quickly panic spreads."
Jaime ran his good hand through his tangled hair, frustration growing inside him. This was madness. He'd never wanted the throne, never wanted to rule. That had always been Cersei's obsession, not his.
"What about my sister and daughter—I mean my niece, Myrcella," he corrected himself quickly, silently cursing his slip. "You honestly expect me to sit here and wear a crown while they're missing!?"
Varys shook his head sympathetically, not even mentioning Jamie’s slip up. "I'm not asking you to abandon them, Jaime. I'll do my best to locate Cersei and Myrcella and find out exactly who—or what—we're dealing with. But that will take time…”
“…Fuck.” Jamie glanced at the throne. He was probably the only one in his family that never coveted the damn thing. Regardless, he slumped down on top of it.
He hoped his daughter was safe, and he really wanted to know what the hell was with that crazy little fox girl that was with her…
XXX
So, who should wander into the Fox Hole next…? Throw out some suggestions. Also yes, Naruko will be accidentally travelling backwards in time. I wonder what will happen there?
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Michael Mounts
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Michael Mounts
Bleach....OHHH UNOHANA MAMA
