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A Witch's Dream of Power- Part 1

🕑 Added 2018-05-01 00:50:47 +0000 UTC

Comments

Emily Bostic

Oh goddess, that is hot!

larqven

Part 1 Errors: For month's [months] now the evil witch Vivian Foxheart considered her greatest accomplishment (page 2) waiting for her crooked smile to lose it's [its] evil edges (page 4) It's [Its] bright red glow flowed out over the room and Viv winced. (page 18) her wand floating up off the float [floor] and back into her hand. (page 30) Cute set up in a magical school. My first thought was that to have been able to get through the door, Viv might not be *really-truly* evil. I have to say that it probably reminded me a bit more of "Winx" than "Harry Potter". LOL Viv, playing around with her potions, and her magic addition to her dorm room, also reminds me of Urd from the manga "Ah, My Goddess". Love Viv's--vivid--imagination for what she would like to happen to her fellow students. Tempered by the suspicion that reality will play out rather differently. I have wonder if the love-struck blonde Kalista will prove to be trouble. She gave hints as being almost as manipulative as Vivian--and her name is Kalista! There's got to be some darkness there? Vivian might have done better to have tried to corrupt Kalista to get to Juliet? Well, we shall see. As it is, the potion seems like it might be a masterwork, but is untried. And even if it works as it is supposed to--that doesn't mean that its use is wise. As it was, I kept expecting Juliet to leap to the conclusion that Viv was trying to whammy her with a love potion! Which isn't too far from the truth, but the truth makes 'school love potion 101 seem relatively laughable. I liked how Viv had to be sneaky, while possessing power, Juliet being dangerous and capable in her own right, every bit Viv's equal and superior in spell-slinging. Indeed, many or most of the girls could be expected to have spells and other abilities of their own. You might do well with a 'super hero team' sort of story?

larqven

First, some errors that I found:

John

Very well written. certainly didn't read like a long story. in fact over all too quickly. I am starting to love corruption stories too. The idea that one person can turn another into whatever they want them to be. That someone can take another person's personality and mindset and change it and that person so completely. break them down and remake them. love it. GO VIVIAN!!!! Enslave them all, my dear!!!!