NOTTHISWAY
patreon
Katarina's Pants
🕑 Added 2023-01-21 02:41:49 +0000 UTC"Hm," Katarina stroked her chin in deep, careful and thoughtful consideration. Or rather, she pondered the conundrum before her using the entirety of her brain capacity. It wasn't much, but at least the inner council of Katarina was putting in some honest work, trying to puzzle out the reason for her current vexation.
Before her was the list of suspects.
"Someone here," she said, raising a finger, and then making a sweep of the people before her, each and every one of them seated on a chair, some more alert than others, some even looking nervous, "is a thief!"
They all looked at each other, but nobody said anything.
For behind Katarina was the Devil herself, who had made it a point to note that everyone should remain quiet, for her mistress demanded it. There were many things the devil maid was good for, but intimidation was something she was straight up amazing at.
"Right!" she said. "Someone stole my workout pants!"
"Your workout... pants?" the highest ranked amongst the suspects was the one to speak first, one Geordo by name, a blond, black hearted prince, a veneer of dignity and an air of magnificence hiding the dark sadist beneath. Of course, he was one of the main suspects, for he was a clever and thoughtful viper, certainly he could plan such a heist!
"My workout pants!" Katarina repeated, rounding on him, pointing her finger at him. "It'd have to be someone who is interested in exercise," she said, "and with all the training you do with Tanya, that fits you to a T, Prince Geordo!" she accused, almost, but not quite, poking him in the chest with her finger in a judging, accusatory way.
Geordo's jaw dropped for a moment. "That's- that describes almost everybody here! Certainly it describes the men; they are all also training under Tanya!" he responded, raising a hand to his chest. "I'd never do anything so brazen as to steal a pair of... Pants?" he seemed confused. "I didn't even know you had a pair for exercise!"
Katarina took a step back, frowning, hands on her hips now. "That's true... that's true, my list of suspects expands," she said, moving to the next one in line, to Geordo's right...
It was his brother, Alan. "It'd have to be someone who knew of their existence," she said, "and you would certainly fit the bill, would you not, Prince Alan?" she accused, gesturing with a wave at the silver haired prince.
Alan snorted, then laughed. "Yeah, I know, but so what? Keith and Nicol know as well," he said. gesturing to his own right. "Besides, I never had access to your room, so I wouldn't know where to look to begin with."
That was true, Katarina mused. He hadn't had access to her room. "That's correct!" she said, "so then," she then turned to the one to Alan's right, Keith. "What do you have to say for yourself, Keith? You had access to my room, and you knew that I have a pair of workout pants! So fess up, where did you put them?"
Keith looked positively disturbed for a few moments. "Of all the things to accuse me of- why would I ever do something like that?" he protested immediately, raising his hands as if to shield himself from blame, "if I wanted to prank you I would have definitely chosen something that couldn't so easily be traced back to me," he said. "Besides, I live here, you think I'm stupid enough to choose to steal something from you when she's here?" he asked, gesturing at Tanya.
Katarina blinked. That... was a pretty good point. She looked back at where Tanya stood, near the door to the improvised interrogation room, an old audience room in the Claes manor.
Tanya cleared her throat. "Master Keith has not entered your room without permission," she said, simply and clearly.
Katarina nodded, and then turned back to Keith. "I guess that clears you for now..." she muttered, then she stepped to her left, and tried not to swoon as she met the smiling face of the very amused Nicol Ascart.
The last in the suspect lineup.
"Someone who lives here would be in constant danger of Tanya finding out any sort of hiding spot," she said, "but if you could take my pants back to your own home," she muttered, pointing her finger at Nicol now.
"Ah... but I would not have had a chance to enter your room?" Nicol tried.
"A week ago, I invited Sophia and you, Lord Nicol, to read books, and I am fairly certain that you were alone in my room for a good few minutes while I accompanied Sophia to the bathroom!" Katarina explained, though it was a bit of a frantic pace as she tried not to forget what had happened as she recounted it. "That's when you undoubtedly took my workout pants, and took them with you back to your home!"
There was a few moments' pause.
"Ah... how would I have taken a pair of pants back to my home without being noticed?" he asked. "I didn't bring any sort of bag," he said. "My pockets are always full with my notebooks and pens," he added, giving her another one of his devilish smiles.
There was a moment's pause.
"Oh. Y-Yeah that makes sense," Katarina said, face red, turning around and taking a few steps away from the suspects, palming her face with both hands, rubbing her cheeks as if trying to get the creative detective juices flowing.
"Mistress, if I may suggest a break?" Tanya said, as she brandished a tray of biscuits and another that had a kettle with tea and five cups. A few moments later, the tea was poured, the cups were distributed, and everyone had their fair share of delicious biscuits, though what Katarina considered fair was "most of them".
"It truly is a wonder you're not fat with all you eat," Keith mentioned, though his tone was more of amazement than mockery, as his sister gulped down the tea to push down the biscuits.
"H-hey..!" she responded weakly.
"Truly impressive, but then again, with how active she is all the time," Alan agreed.
"Perhaps we're being a little mean?" Nicol suggested. "Even if we're being accused like this..."
Geordo snorted. "For all that, I don't even know what these workout pants look like," he said, gesturing with his hand. "Nor do I know why I would ever take them."
"That's a good point, why would someone take my workout pants," Katarina mused. "Well! Boys are always interested in girls' gym clothes!" she said, nodding to herself with a smug smile on her face, her heavy blue dress fluttering about as she moved rapidly, almost dancing in glee. "That's why it must be one of you, a girl's gym clothes are a boy's greatest treasure!" she said, closing her eyes and nodding to herself once more, even more smug energy radiating off of her.
"Why?" Alan replied. "Seriously, why would I want anything like that?" he asked. "Are you calling me a pervert or something?"
"I- I don't know, okay? Boys just kinda do!" she insisted.
"Yeah sis, this is some serious accusations you're throwing around, calling us degenerates like that," Keith added, rolling his eyes.
Katarina paused for a moment, and she was visibly overcome with regret at making such accusations, it was obvious she was entering some sort of panic state as she thought about what she had done, to anyone, but if anyone had a glimpse of what was going on in her mind...
Well, they'd get a pretty good look at the five man internal council going absolutely bonkers as they tried to find a way out of the hole they had dug themselves into, the court circus they'd created now backfiring on them, and raising death flags that hadn't even been in the original game!
Tanya cleared her throat. A shudder ran down the boys' spines.
"I- I suppose it's okay to let bygones be bygones?" Nicol said, a bit alarmed at the interruption of the maid.
"I suppose," Geordo agreed, turning to the others, who all murmured or nodded in agreement. "I- suppose we could at least help look for the pants, but first, I'd need to know what they look like."
"Yeah, same here, for all the talk, I've never seen them," Alan agreed. "Are they distinctive?"
Nicol nodded. "Despite me accompanying Sophia so often, I've never seen them either," he added. "I suppose they must be however? Keith?"
Shaking his head, the adopted son of Claes offered a noncommital shrug. "Katarina always works out in private, Tanya always takes her somewhere. I think it's because mother disapproved of it initially and now it's just tradition."
"Oh, I see," Nicol responded, tilting his head down and cupping his chin in thought. "Then perhaps you left them at your workout spot?"
Katarina shook her head. "I wear them to and from that place, every time," she said.
"Well, maybe we've seen them somewhere," Geordo said. "what do they look like?"
Katarina thought for a few moments. "Well, they're red, they're kinda small, and- you know what, it'll be faster to just show you," she said, grabbing at the hem of her dress' skirts, and then pulling them up. "See?" she asked, even as the boys' hands immediately went to their faces, though despite their attempts at faking scandalized modesty, their eyes were not covered at all, peeking between the gaps between their fingers.
Behind her, Tanya's jaw dropped, and she had to scramble to catch it lest it hit the floor.
Katarina raised her skirts high, revealing everything beneath her waist, including the entirety of her crotch, and were this any other time, her underwear would be plainly visible, but-
But that was not what was under her skirts, instead, what was under her skirts was actually a pair of... old school Japanese bloomers, though none of them knew what they were. To them, what they looked like was a pair of bright red panties, sure, a bit bigger than the norm for noblewomen to wear, but definitely still something that they'd never expected to see from Katarina.
"My lady, what are you doing!?" Tanya half shouted, half whispered, unable to contain herself.
"Huh? I'm just showing them my workout pants so we can look for them together-"
"Katarina, if you're done studying with the boys, I need to- KataRINAAAAAA..!!!!"
The door opened.
In walked the Devil's superior, the woman whose shrill scream could put fear into the hearts of the bravest warrior, the Lady Claes, a woman with an intimidating presence and more importantly, a hand like a crab's claw, which easily grasped Katarina's ear and immediately pulled her away.
"Young lady!" she shouted, pulling Katarina by the ear, causing her to drop her skirts.
"Ah- MOTHER, NOOO, IT HUUUURTS!"
"Oh if you think this hurts, just you wait, you're not too old for me to put you over my knee and give you a lecture on propriety!" she shouted, "now walk along, you're in so much trouble right now!"
"Mooooom!"
And then the ladies of the house left.
Leaving the boys, faces red as tomatoes, still shellshocked.
"She was... wearing them..? That's her workout pants?" Geordo muttered.
"That's no better than panties..." Alan said, sounding scandalized.
"She goes out like that..." Keith groaned out.
Nicol was already reaching for the notebook in his pocket.
Tanya cleared her throat.
"I am going to pretend that none of the events here happened," she said. "I would strongly suggest that you erase them from your memory," she spoke, bowing slightly.
The boys were stuck to their seats, still trying to comprehend what had happened.
Tanya's hand moved. From the tip of her fingers, a paper-thin beam of energy erupted, a fly that was buzzing in the room dropping dead in an instant.
"Very strongly."
Within Tanya's mind, thoughts swirled.
My lady is an idiot.
