NOTTHISWAY
patreon
Duel Waifus (Yu Gi Oh Parody)
🕑 Added 2024-05-25 03:21:18 +0000 UTCA new card game had recently taken over the world, created by the well known company Delusional Industry, makers of all sorts of toys and games and lead by Maximus Chrysaor, and it had found appeal almost exclusively with adult men. The reason why was pretty simple.
The name of the game was Duel Waifus, and it was a trading card game where you would summon different duel waifus and battle one another for supremacy. The Duel Waifus came in many forms and shapes, but each and every one of them was a beautiful scantily clad woman, supposedly born from the imagination of Maximus Chrysaor himself.
Yogi was a young man, a college student who hung out with his friends, Joe, Coffe and Stan, his best buddy, his once crush and the third guy, respectively. Yogi had discovered an ancient golden box in his grandpa's attic and reassembled an ancient treasure, apparently his grandpa had spent years trying to solve the puzzle even though there was only one place for each piece to go in and therefore it was actually pitifully easy to solve. When he solved the puzzle, Yogi, a late bloomer, suddenly underwent the most ridiculous and instant puberty ever, growing a good two feet taller, gaining about a hundred pounds of muscle and becoming capable of growing a beard.
About the only thing that hadn't changed was the size of his dick, which now actually fit the rest of his body instead of being ridiculously massive in comparison to it. Now a big dude with incredible mystic powers, Yogi turned his life around, beat the shit out of his bullies' bully and became friend with his bullies Joe and Stan in the process, and then decided to start playing the game of Duel Waifus.
After that, Yogi learned his lousy grandpa Saul had a super duper rare card, one of the four legendary Blue Eyed White Sluts, who had the greatest seductive power among all Duel Waifus, and decided to show it off to his friends Joe, Coffee and Stan.
But before the admiration was complete, some really fucking weird rich dude with strange hands and a bowl cut showed up the fuck out of nowhere and tried to buy the Blue Eyed White Slut from Yogi's lousy grandpa Saul, and even though Yogi encouraged the idiot old man to sell the card when enough wealth to buy the goddamn city was on the table, Yogi's lousy grandpa Saul decided that was not to be, and everyone kind of forgot about it when they went up to play Duel Waifus in the game shop's game playing area, where Yogi was obviously the winner, because he was the only one who actually knew how to play, with Coffee coming in second because Joe and Stan's braincells were a myth.
Now, because the really fucking weird rich dude wasn't just weird but also a sore loser and didn't know how to take a no, shit got real bad real fast.
The dude's name was Koiba and he was apparently the richest motherfucker who ever did live, and he was also obsessed with duel waifus, to the point there were many jokes online about the fact that he fucked his cards. He was also the world champion, and rightfully so, not because he was skilled, but because he could afford to buy all the best cards with his effectively infinite money. Like the other three Blue Eyed White Slut cards.
Koiba challenged Yogi's lousy grandpa Saul to a Duel Waifus game wagering the Blue Eyed White Sluts as the ante, in what was called a Netorare Game, where the loser would have to give up their best waifu for the winner to turn into their own cum dumpster waifu. Yogi's grandpa has lost his rarest and most expensive card, the only Blue Eyed White Slut not in Koiba's possession, in a duel against Koiba, and while Yogi would normally tell everyone that it was his lousy grandpa Saul's fault for accepting a wager he had no reason to take, he still had to go avenge the slight on his name, because unfortunately Yogi's lousy grandpa Saul was his paternal grandfather and that meant they shared a surname, and Yogi certainly didn't want to be associated with losing to a really fucking creepy weirdo like Koiba.
It wasn't going well, even after Coffee went on a friendship speech as she usually did, which usually was good enough for Yogi to turn around whatever bad situation he was in.
Unfortunately as it turned out Koiba, much like Yogi, had actually read the part in the manual of the game where it said they were allowed to summon a bunch of Duel Waifus in one turn, and even worse, even after Yogi had used the best card in his lousy grandpa Saul's deck, the Slutty Dark Magician, Koiba had managed to fend her off, taking only a little bit of damage to his erection.
And then, he turned it around, summoning three copies of the Blue Eyed White Slut. And Yogi had to admit, as much as he made fun of Koiba for his obsession, he truly had achieved something unfathomably great when he created the system that brought the cards to life, making tangible holographic projections of the Duel Waifus cards.
And damn, the Blue Eyed White Sluts were goddamn fine.
Pale of skin, with silvery white hair, draconic wings adorning their backs, long tails made of interlocking silvery plates, and horns that framed their faces, with enchantingly beautiful azure eyes, their deliciously sexy forms belied the unbelievable power they carried, as each of them alone possessed enough power to destroy a weak duelist in a single blow...job.
Each of the three of them loomed menacingly over Yogi, who had drawn four completely fucking useless cards from his lousy grandpa Saul's deck, with pathetically minimal stats in both seduction and endurance, the Netorare Handjob cards, and the Netorare Footjob cards.
Things were at their worst now, as the trio of excessively sexy bimbo dragons were ready to leap onto Yogi and knock him out without ever letting him put his dick in any of them, a total and most humiliating defeat. As he reached for his deck, because at this point he had claimed it and wouldn't return it, he put his hand on it and saw the symbol drawn on the back of his hand, from back before the duel started.
He remembered then, cementing his friendship with Joe, Coffee and Stan when the trio of him, Joe and Stan triple penetrated the randy Coffee, the mark that branded him and the other two as hole brothers, and Coffee as their hole that they had all shared together, he remembered her trying to give a speech on friendship through Stan's cock while getting DP'd by Yogi and Joe at the same time, and he couldn't believe he was about to give up, scolding himself internally.
His friends believed in him, enough that even as they were having a threesome off to the side of the holographic arena, they still sent cheers and words of encouragement his way, although Coffee had to send hers via text message owing to having a dick in her mouth at the time.
And he now just had to believe in himself, and put his faith on the cock of the cards, no matter what.
"Draw your last pathetic card so I can end this, Yogi!" Koiba taunted.
"My lousy grandpa Saul's deck has no pathetic cards, Koiba!!" Yogi responded, closing his eyes and feeling for the throb of his deck, and taking a few moments to wait, until the beating of his hard and the twitching of his own cock matched that of the deck, feeling it cautiously with his hand, speaking thusly, "but it does contain," and then, he overdramatically drew a card from the pile, raised it and flipped it to show it to Koiba, "the unstoppable Exodick, the Netorare Gigachad!!"
It was indeed, the final piece of the puzzle for the win condition for Yogi's deck, the most powerful cards ever printed for the game of Duel Waifus, Exodick, the Netorare Gigachad, who was so powerful that he had to be split across five different cards, each of which was a one-of, assembled for the first time in a thousand years by the power of Yogi's trust in the cock of his cards, and responding in Yogi's time of greatest need!
"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!! Nobody has ever managed to summon the Netorare Gigachad, nobody!! This cannot beeee!!!"
With a flourish, Yogi laid all five cards before him in the console that mimicked the regular mat that those without insane amounts of money played on, and the holographic system seemed to have a short for a moment on Yogi's side before suddenly a giant five pointed star appeared behind Yogi. From the left, an arm, from the lower right, a foot, then the left foot, then the right arm, and at last emerged the massively muscular body of the strongest of all cards, and his super strong and mighty jawline and cornrows in the shape of one of those extremely fancy headdresses that some egyptian Pharaohs would wear caught everyone's eye.
The blue eyed white sluts trembled in the presence of Exodick, and off to the side, Coffee had become a completely docile turboslut that understood then and there that she would never be worthy of the greatest cock since the days of Ancient Egypt, 3000 years ago.
"Now! EXODICK!! FORNICATE!"
Yogi felt the immensity of the power of Exodick overcome him, his eyes glowed an ominous red as his form bulked up, the opaque form of Exodick became transparent, phantasmal, ethereal, fading as it was absorbed into the growing body of Yogi whose skin darkened to match Exodick's, though he retained his absolutely wicked tricolor spiky hair.
With the power of the Netorare Gigachad coursing through his body, Yogi leaped into the fray and caught the Blue Eyed White Sluts before they could pounce on him, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that the battle was over before it even commenced, when the first one of them simply turned around, planted her face down and raised her plentiful white ass, the massive orbs of the white girl's perfect ass almost glinting with the lights of the arena, with those wide hips and the way she presented, she was the very definition of submissive and breedable.
Yogi Exodick's aura burst and his clothes were incinerated, leaving only the dangling Golden Bling his grandpa had graverobbed- taken from an archeological digsite with permission from himself, and his cock, thicker, girthier, veinier, throbbing powerfully, caused the other two Blue Eyed White Sluts to drape themselves over him as he approached the first to be summoned and the first to submit.
He plunged his massive cock into her juicy pink pussy, and immediately she orgasmed on his cock, and he knew that she had already become his slut the moment he laid eyes on her, for his was the power of the Pharaohs of old, all that he saw, he conquered, be it resource, land or woman! So he laid into her, pumping his hips with neither restraint nor mercy, fucking her through the orgasm that had her crying out roaring exclamations of joy, even as he grabbed one of the other sluts by the ass and pressed her body to his, and put his hand on the third Blue Eyed White Slut's head and forced her down and behind him, for her to lick his balls and taint while he rearranged her sister's pussy into his own personal cocksleeve.
"NOO! With that power, he will truly turn my Blue Eyed White Sluts into his personal cum dumpsters, once you taste the great Exodick's cock, it is impossible to go back to normal cocks!"
Koiba fell to the ground, clutching his head and crying out in piteous, whiny despair, as he observed the Yogi Exodick, Netorare Gigachad Incarnate, increase his pace so that he was furiously pounding a Blue Eyed White Slut while making out with another one and fingering her ass, at the same time as a third was devotedly sucking his balls into her mouth and giddily awaiting her turn to be dicked.
Grunting and roaring in his own orgasm, proclaiming, "TAKE MY CUM, SLUT!! GET PREGNANT WITH MY CHILD!!" as he did so, grabbing her harshly by the hair and making her arch her back, forcing her to look up so Koiba could see the O face of impossible pleasure, of blissful submissive orgasm, that the Blue Eyed White Slut card did as Yogi Exodick's impossibly potent and virile orgasm seeded her eggs in her womb, a glowing light appearing as a symbol much like a stylized Ankh with an upside down rhombus reminiscent of the Ancient Bling that even now was dangling from Yogi Exodick's neck.
With the slut seeded, Yogi turned to the next, the one who had been licking his balls, who had been devotedly lapping at his testicles even as he seeded her sister, and then he turned her on her back, manhandling her with ease as he was now a head and a half taller than she was, and then he raised her legs in the air, doubling them over so that her legs were by her face, and then he stood over her and slipped his dick into her overflowing pink pussy, the nearly black tone of his skin contrasting massively with her albino white skin as he pushed his dick into her gushing pussy to put her into a state of perpetual orgasm much as he had the first one he fucked.
There was no build up, immediately he began fucking her from above, even harder and more powerfully than he had her sister, with the aid of gravity.
"Get that tongue moving!" he roared at the slut he had been making out with before, who scrambled, moving to begin licking his balls, taint and asshole from behind as he fucked her sister, with unmatched and unbridled joy as she submitted to the most superior male there ever was, fulfilling her greatest instinct to seek a mate and become that mate's woman.
He laughed. "There you go, you fucking slut, I've got a creampie for you too!"
His strokes were deep and powerful and went all the way to the entrance of the dragon woman's womb, he was so thick and girthy and long and strong and his strokes were so unrelenting that it really was no wonder by the time he reached his limit she had already become a drooling and melted pile of scaly slut, her tail whipping about only to be caught in the Netorare Gigachad's hand while his other hand reached down to her neck to force her down, and while he was feeling the submissive slut's tongue on his balls and taint, he let loose a torrent of might cum that once again, fell like an avalanche on the fertile eggs of the dragon slut, seeding her and causing her flat tummy to inflate from cum, the symbol of a stylized ankh glowing over her womb, on her stomach.
He let her go and her legs dropped, her tail flopped, and she giggled uncontrollably as cum spurted from her pussy.
The last one he caught by the backs of her knees, putting her into a full nelson position and more importantly, carrying her so that he put his massive dark cock into her soaking wet peachy pink pussy right in front of her previous owner, showing him that he had lost her to a vastly superior male, laughing as he began pounding her with incredibly intense and powerful thrusts, gouging out her tight dragon pussy.
The man who lost could only watch as one of the former stars of his deck was reduced to a baser being who desired only to bear another male's children.
"Now!! Accept your fate, Koiba! MIND CUCK!!" shouted Yogi Exodick, thrusting powerfully, the ankh symbol appearing over the Blue Eyed White Slut's womb and glowing powerfully, washing over Koiba, and opening his mind to the truth of his being.
He succumbed and began stroking his pencil dick to the sight of his former waifu being taken from him, especially as she screamed in joyful, blissful orgasm one final time while getting seeded, the mark's glow fading as it became an indelible, permanent tattoo that marked how her body, and her very womb, had been claimed, as she now bore the child of his enemy.
Letting his cock out and watching as a waterfall of cum flowed from the cunt of the Blue Eyed White Slut, Yogi Exodick, Netorare Gigachad Incarnate, carried her to where the other two other sluts had gotten on their knees, and he deposited her beside the other two.
"From now on I'm your lord and your master, got it?" Yogi Exodick stated.
The three sluts had no objections, looking up in sheer love and devotion to the man who fulfilled all of their wishes and bred them.
He stepped forward and slapped their faces with his still hard dick, a single sweep that caused them to moan pathetically, before he stroked a few times and spurted the last shot of his cum still in his balls, painting their faces as they pressed their cheeks against one another's.
With that, the game of Duel Waifus was concluded, and the magical effects faded, as Yogi's musculature returned to normal, and his skin lightened to an actually human shade once more, though he was still naked. He moved off the arena, and wiped himself off of the remnants of his gamewinning move.
Koiba approached, and offered his hand for Yogi to shake, which he did firmly. "That was a good game," he said, "and now as per the netorare game rules, here," he said, passing the four Blue Eyed White Slut cards to Yogi.
"Yeah, yeah, good game," he said. "So... is the offer for a shitload of money for these still valid?" he said, waving the cards in the air.
"I don't even take my own sloppy seconds, dude, why would I take yours?" he said, waving his hand at Yogi as he left. "Now get the fuck out of my property."
Well, there went that idea. "Anyway you guys wanna get some burgers?" Yogi asked.
And then the quartet of friends went to get some burgers and all was fine. At least until Maximus Chrysaor kidnaped Yogi's lousy grandpa Saul, prompting Yogi to have to go to Maximus Chrysaor's private island to go rescue the old coot and erase the stain on his name, but that's a story for another episode of Duel Waifus!
