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Hotel Chaldea Prisma Halloween
🕑 Added 2024-10-28 02:28:33 +0000 UTC"It just... feels weird," Illya admitted, as she adjusted the hood of her pink cat costume. "I wasn't really expecting the plan to work!"
Miyu, who was walking ahead of her, tilted her head in much the same way a curious puppy would, which fit, considering she was wearing a purple dog onesie herself. "But I told you it was guaranteed to work."
"Can't blame her, usually when we try to do something like this it winds up blowing up in our faces somehow," Chloe said, sticking her hands behind the back of her head as she walked forward with exaggerated swagger, the floppy bunny ears of her red and black rabbit onesie swinging about.
"You're lucky my wife thinks I'm adorable in this form," you commented, your tone as flat as your face, bemused as could be. While normally you'd tower above the three magical girls, you found yourself not just their size, but a little bit shorter even, thanks to a spell that had been cast on you that gave you a much younger appearance, one that blended in with theirs and made you completely pass for a kid their age. And now, instead of chaperoning them as they went trick or treating, you instead joined them.
Each of you had a pumpkin shaped bag, filled with a variety of candy, and each of you was wearing a costume, the animal themed onesies in their own individual colors for the girls, and for yourself, a pirate costume designed to look like a miniature version of Bartholomew Roberts' everyday wear. Why, exactly, he had not one but six outfits in children's sizes was unknown to you, but sometimes it was best not to ask.
Illya specifically had chosen an American city with a decently large suburban area because she really wanted to experience the kind of Halloween Trick or Treating that she sometimes saw on American Cartoons.
Speaking of which...
"Did she seriously binge all of The Last Windbender in a single sitting?" you asked, as soon as you caught up to the trio.
"Yeah!" Chloe replied, "she was quoting it all day the next day," she said.
"It's at those times that we remember that as servants, we technically don't need to eat or sleep," Miyu hummed. "Of course, unlike regular servants, we do have... limitations on that front."
"Really?" you asked, as the four of you moved onto the next house, Illya leading the way. The house you were going in had a huge driveway and two cars parked out in front, the lights were on and the lawn was decorated with pumpkins and a fake dead tree with a horror face carved on it.
"Yeah, while we don't need to eat or sleep, we get cranky if we go without sleep for too long, especially Illya," Chloe said. "Also we don't regenerate mana as fast even with Chaldea's support unless we eat and rest."
"And while we don't need to use the bathroom we sweat and can get dirty unlike regular servants, plus we can't astralize," Miyu added. "Which would help on the cleaning up front... so we need showers."
"Wait, servants don't need to bathe?" you asked, blinking in confusion. "But we have baths and showers and-"
"And a Master whose list of fetishes is longer than most countries' constitutions," Chloe quipped.
"Hey, you guys, what are you talking about back there? Come on!" Illya called, approaching the house's porch and waiting until you and the other two joined her before she rang the doorbell, tastefully decorated with a skull sticker.
Quickly, you joined her, and she rang the doorbell, before getting into position.
After a few moments the door opened.
"Trick or treat!" the girls called, followed by you less enthusiastically, as an extremely old black woman who looked like she was about as old as the country she lived in, quite a bit overweight and dressed in an absolutely impeccable witch's outfit complete with wide brimmed big floppy and pointy hat, stepped into view.
"Oh my aren't you the most adorable lil' young'uns," the woman cooed. "Here dears, have some of these," she said, pulling a bowl of candy, putting one of her decrepit hands into it, and demonstrating that her hands weren't just for show as she pulled a quite significant and large amount of candy, generic looking wrapped candy balls as well as some brand name chocolate bars, and even some homemade sweets as well, she spread them evenly as each of you held your bag up to her. "Go along now sweeties, night is young, and there's many a house still to visit!" she said, affecting the tone of a show presenter.
"Ma'am your makeup is fantastic," you said.
"Aw, did you notice?" she said, "what gave me away?" she asked, her voice changing from the old woman voice to one that sounded much younger.
"If I may," Miyu said, raising her hand, "the voice change was too smooth," she said.
"That's right," you agreed, "even if you were a voice actress you'd still rasp a little when changing your voice!"
"Aw, dangit, you lil' kids really are something huh," the woman said, standing to her full height. "Okay, you guys earned it," she said, sounding much more like a middle aged but definitely not old woman, grabbing a couple more bars and passing them along. "Alright, I'll work harder on my act!"
"Thank you ma'am!" you called. "Say thank you girls," you instructed.
"Thank you ma'am!" the trio chorused, and then the three of you walked away, waving at the fake old woman who was already retouching her makeup.
"Did you really notice the thing with her voice? I couldn't tell at all!" Illya admitted.
"Yeah," Miyu said. "I actually only noticed in retrospect when I started to look for reasons, how did you know?" she asked, turning to you.
You were about to reply when suddenly you heard a speeding car and you grabbed the girls and pulled them closer to the lawn of the house as a huge truck blasted past playing some heavy metal music, with some asshole teenagers making noise in the truck bed, quickly disappearing into the distance along with the noise.
Then immediately after you hugged Chloe. "No killing them!" you whispered, "you're supposed to pass for a child, breathe in deeply, do not project that bow, do not shoot that asshole- there, there," you soothed.
"Can I at least shoot them with something nonlethal!?" she asked.
"No! No magic vengeance!"
"What about non-magic vengeance?" Illya asked.
"No! No vengeance! None whatsoever!"
Miyu hummed. "What about legal vengeance? I memorized the plates and we could always report them?"
"Okay, fine, legal vengeance is fine, but later, for now, let's focus on visiting more houses!" you said. "That's what we wanted, right? Trick or treating?"
Indeed.
The trio nodded, satisfied with the promise of getting back at the noisy assholes driving recklessly in the suburbs, they finally calmed down. However, as you went through a few more houses and collected quite a bit more candy, soon enough you came upon a gathering of people right in front of a house with extremely heavy and lavish decoration.
They had a huge decorated tree with fake hanging bodies, a skeleton coming out of a grave marked with a cartoonishly huge #1 shaped headstone labeling him as Smith Weberjaeggermanjohnson and an automatic bubble machine that was disguised as a witch's technicolor cauldron.
On top of that the house was quite large, the largest in the area by a long shot, a veritable mansion really compared to all the others, encompassing not one but two plots.
"What's happening over there?" Miyu asked, pointing at the gathering people on the front lawn of that house, across the street.
Chloe hummed, putting her hands in front of her face making the hand binoculars gesture, which would help ensure the slight glow of her magic activating would be hidden despite the low light. "Alright, from what I can see, there's a girl with a skinned knee and some netorare bastard looking guy with a really hot woman who are arguing with who I assume to be the skinned knee girl's parents based on their faces and hair color," she said. "No weapons visible, but there's a suspicious bulge in netorare bastard's coat pocket!"
"Right... we're kids right now so we can probably get away with asking what's going on without raising suspicion, let's get closer," you said.
"Okay!"
With the plan agreed to, the four of you crossed the street after looking twice both ways just in case another group of assholes was driving recklessly, and after making sure nobody would make a fuzz about a bunch of kids crossing the street, you approached the people arguing.
Illya, being the most sociable of the group, took the lead, approaching some youngster that was hanging off to the side, who didn't seem involved but who had been there from the start.
"Hello! What's going on here? Did something happen?" she asked.
"Oh, uhm, hi," the teenager said, adjusting his fake glasses and the spiky black hair wig he wore. He was dressed in a purple martial arts outfit with a white cape with shoulder pads, it looked weirdly heavy and probably hard to use doors with. "Well, uhm, those guys- ergh, I mean, the woman and man over there were going around with their daughter, taking tons of candy from the bowls on the empty houses, and these two apparently caught them emptying the entire candy bowl they set up before they went trick or treating," the teenager explained, "and then they started discussing and then the little girl tried to push the fat guy and hurt her knee and now-"
"I'LL SUE, YOU, I-"
"That, he's been screaming about a lawsuit since."
"What about you?" Illya asked. "You involved?"
"Well, uh, the fat guy's my uncle," the dude said, "I'm supposed to accompany my little cousin on his first trick or treating but, yeah, that's not happening now..."
"That sucks," Illya huffed. "These people are terrible!"
"Yeah," Chloe muttered, "what kind of asshole takes all the candy?" she spoke, crossing her arms and glaring at the asshole couple.
You couldn't help but agree. "I think you're right, those sorts of people... deserve the worst!"
"Yeah," the teenager agreed, "but what can you do? It ain't a crime to be an ass," he said.
"Maybe," Miyu muttered, "but we can certainly curse them," she said. "Right? Can I?"
"I really shouldn't let you hang out with Koyanskaya so much," you muttered, "okay, fine, but only a small one."
"Yaaay!" Illya, Kuro and Miyu cheered.
"How about one that makes them stub their toes wherever they walk?" Chloe asked.
"I think that's a decent start, next idea," you countered.
"What about one that makes them get holes in the soles of their shoes?"
"Potentially dangerous, no can do," you said, crossing your arms in front of your body.
"Oh! I got it! If they're gonna take away everyone's candy, how about one that makes all candy taste like ash?" Illya asked. "That would work wouldn't it?"
"What are you guys talking about? You know curses 'n that stuff are all bul- nonsense, right?" he asked.
"Would you care to keep a secret," you began, "magic's real," you said with a wink. "If you would, Miyu?"
"Got it," Miyu said, bringing her hands together, a small light ball glowing and separating into three distinct darts, about the thickness of Miyu's pinky so very thin indeed. She passed them to Chloe. "This is up to you, Kuro... Get them in the neck if you can, they'll disappear an instant after you fire them. Illya, can you give us a distraction?"
"Yep!" Illya called, "Ruby?" she called, extending her hand only for her staff, the Kaleidostick, to form from glowing pink energy into a physical form, while the tip of the staff, the actual Ruby itself, appeared from under her clothes and settled on the tip of the staff that became solid. She then took aim and Chloe moved the three darts from her palm to between her fingers.
The two moved in tandem and unison, Illya firing a bolt of invisible energy that knocked over the nearby trash bins and caught the people's attention, and then Chloe threw the darts, and as promised, they disappeared the moment they came into contact with the targets' necks, which they immediately slapped at, probably had the same impact as a mosquito bite, a nasty mosquito but just that anyway.
"Alright, that's that, now whenever they eat candy on halloween it'll only taste of ash," Miyu said.
"Hells yeah, that's what assholes get," Chloe said, pumping her fist. "Alright, I feel better now. Can we do the toilet paper thing now?"
The weirdly dressed teenager blinked. "What just happened- magic, did what, whaaa?!" he shook his head.
"None of this ever happened," you said, "keep the secret," you said with a wink.
"You know what I'm gonna pretend it didn't," he finally agreed. "Sssssaaaaay, you're looking for a house to TP? I know a guy who's a major curmudgeon, never gives out any candy and even sometimes we've caught him going around breaking decorations..."
"Oooh! Now you're talking my language!" Chloe said, wringing her hands, "did we bring the reserves?"
You sighed. "Yes, I bought the TP," you said.
"Are you guys alone?" the teenaged boy asked. "These days parents never allow their kids out trick or treating alone, I should be at a party but I got roped into babysitting," he said, "but I guess you guys wouldn't need a chaperone huh? Probably can look after yourselves..."
"I can bend a grown man like a pretzel," Chloe said, smiling brightly. "Wanna see?"
"Please don't hurt me? If you guys want, I can show you that old ass- jerk's house," he said. "What do you say?"
"Alright, let's goooo!" Chloe shouted, taking the lead before realizing she didn't know where she was going.
"First, lemme pick up my cousin..."
Experiencing a true Halloween, one that wasn't a complete disaster of Chaldean proportions, had just begun, and you already weren't sure if you'd make it through the night.
