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I Said No Human Sacrifices, Dammit! 5
🕑 Added 2025-06-25 19:34:10 +0000 UTCMovement wouldn't wake me. My body seemed to be able to filter out the din and noise of the humans moving about my lair, and my body was tough and resistant enough that even when they scrubbed it and cleaned my scales, my hide underneath wouldn't even feel the pressure of it, and so I could sleep quite comfortably, despite everything.
And yet, despite my desire to further relax and enjoy the depths of my sleep, it seemed like the insistent attempts at garnering my attention from my Priestess were enough to pierce the veil of sleep and reach me, waking me from my slumber.
My eyes opened, and I was thankful for my unusually wide field of view, because I could take in everything that had been done around me... they were actually starting to turn my lair into something of a temple, and-
"What the hell."
The words were the first thing I spoke, rather than the initial speech I would give, sounding big and grandiose and majestic, demanding to be told why I was awakened, the first thing I noticed was that the Priestess stood in front of four women. Four women who ranged from a head taller than her to a head and a half taller than her, with big, wide shoulders, wearing leather shoulderpads strapped to leather bikinis, loincloths, and with swords and knives of bronze belted along their thighs, their waist and biceps. Their swords were so big they were almost the size of my teeth. My smallest teeth, but still.
Three of them wore their hair in ponytails, and the fourth had it braided, she seemed younger than the other three but not by much, the big three had larger muscles and more defined facial features. Possibly three warriors and an apprentice?
"O Great One-"
"Let's cut to the chase, why did you wake me up?" you asked, looking at the gathered women.
There was a momentary, slightly awkward pause, and the four warrior looking women flinched when they heard you speak, you could see their bodies trembling and every instinct telling them to either stay very still and make themselves very small so you might not see them, might not notice them.
Animals standing before a predator so large, so strong and so inescapable that they were simply hoping they were beneath your notice.
"Oh, right! These ladies are the emissaries of the Water Dragon Clan Tribe," the Priestess said, and it was weird to see her lips move in ways that did not form those words at all, it seemed like the automatic translation changed whatever word was being used to the direct, literal translation.
The magic was sometimes baffling.
Oh, right, she was still talking.
"So what do they want?" I asked, my tail curling and uncurling, as I tested its movement and found myself rapidly shaking the tiredness of a good rest. Then I decided to remove the middleman, after all, I could speak all languages and understand all languages, at least I guess I can. "What do you want," I asked, looking at all four of the visitors simultaneously.
One of them, one with a big scar down the middle of her chest, stepped forward. She might be the biggest of them but they all look small to me anyway. I adjusted my position so that I could sit, raising myself higher to stand at a more impressive height, with my front legs, arms, whatever, crossed in front of my torso.
"Great one, Lord of White Light, Silver-"
"My time might be long but no less valuable than yours human, dispense with the pointless pleasantries and explain yourself before I lose my patience," I warned, breathing through my nose, steam coming out of my nostrils from the sheer heat. Based on the Priestess wearing bigger robes than usual, perhaps it was winter time?
The forest didn't look any less green, and we are pretty close to what might well be the world's equator, but I suppose that even a slight drop in temperature would affect those used to hotter climates.
Also I'm ignoring the woman speaking to me, I should probably focus on what she's saying.
"-and so we've come to invite you to a duel with the divine Water Dragon so that this most grievous offense is addressed and-"
Something hit me then and my focus sharpened.
"Waait, wait, water dragon, right, I fought one of those. I melted its head, how did it survive?! How durable is it? How durable am I!?" I mostly asked myself, then concentrated back into the small being that was baffled by my sudden reaction. "So that thing I thought I killed is still alive instead, well, that's good to know. Is this something I have to deal with or if I tell you to go away, you won't make a mess anymore?"
There was a moment's pause.
"I'm- I- I don't know what to say, this is not what I expected," the large woman said, looking flustered. "Our Master will not rest, and has instructed us to inform you that should you ignore the call, the very ocean itself will be wielded as a weapon to destroy everything you hold dear-"
"Right, so it wants to fuck with my stuff now, fine, I'll go back and finish the job," I said. "I suppose a morning workout before breakfast isn't bad once in a while!"
I spread my wings.
"Wait what-"
And then I jumped into the air. If I beat my wings right there I would probably hurt them really badly, they were way too close, and more importantly, it'd damage my cushion.
"REPAIR AND CLEAN MY BED BEFORE I COME BACK!!" I roared. "AND BRING TRIBUTE OF COOKED FISH AND FRUIT!" I shouted on the way up, not realizing just how high I had jumped, before throwing my power into my wings and then dove like a thrown javelin towards the coastline, far away.
While heading there I also noticed the small nomadic encampment just off of the coast that I suppose was probably the tribe of worshipers that the dragon had sent to challenge me. I considered the possibility of making an example, but, they were polite, they didn't cause trouble, and as far as I know, didn't hurt my humans, so they got to live.
See, I can be nice.
Casting out my senses, I tried to feel for... something, not sure what, but I figured if the Dragon was beneath the blue waters it would have a presence, and then I felt it, tilting myself and closing my wings to rush down for an earthshaker of a landing, sending beach sand and dirt flying. I looked around, but the only thing there was a very large woman, like, nearly twice the size of the Priestess, even taller than the big women who went to the Argentum tribe's place to visit me.
"So you've come!!"
I hummed. "Now is not the time little human, I've been summoned here, but I cannot see the one who called me."
The woman looked scandalized, and I looked closer... Wait, she had fins on her wrists and ankles, and on the sides of her head, as well as a large tail tipped with a split fin near the end.
"Y-You!! You can't even recognize me!?" the woman screamed. "You utter imbecile! You insolent whelp!" she shrieked, "I went through the trouble of sending my worshipers to bring you here and you don't even remember me!?"
"Waaaaait, you're that big dragon I fought?" I asked. The membranes that wiped the moisture and dirt from my eyes opened and closed, but since they were transparent it didn't do much to change what I was looking at. I came closer, bumping her with the tip of my snout, and then using the tip of my claw to poke her.
She wore much the same as the others, except more ornate, and she was unarmed and unarmored, a leather loincloth and a breast band, no weapons or hard pieces anywhere to be seen.
"YES! Yes you idiot! You did so much damage that I had to shrink down to this form while I regenerated!"
"Holy shit you survived having your head destroyed!" I spoke, feeling my own eyes widening. "That's amazing. Can I do that too?"
She then pulled an arm back and then slapped my head. I expected it to feel like nothing, but my neck hurt from the whiplash and several of my scales were broken and shattered. I already began regenerating.
"What the hell was that for!?" I shouted.
"You tried to kill me!" she shouted, pointing a finger at me, I could also see that the tips of her fingers didn't have fingernails like humans, but black, curled and wicked looking claws curving over the tip of her fingers.
"Yeah well you saw me swimming and attacked me on sight, the hell was I supposed to do!?"
"That was just a greeting!" she responded, clenching her fists and glaring up at me. Her tail rose and she waved it threateningly while baring her teeth.
"Your greeting hurt!" I responded, taking a step back.
"It's supposed to you poozer!" she said, "otherwise what's the point of greeting each other, huh!!?"
I could damn near feel my eyes become slits as I focused my full attention. "Enough of this, you never should've called me here, never should've threatened my humans!"
"Wait wait wait, who said anything about threatening your humans? Only the lesser folk hunt humans, they're bony and fight way too much," she said.
"You did! You sent your people demanding a duel or you would use the might of the ocean-"
"Hold it!" she said, "hold it right there, what duel!?" she shouted.
"Uhh- is that not why you called me?" I asked.
"What? No!" she said. "You already beat me, your Breath melted through my scales like they were nothing! I- ugh, of course, of course they would get it wrong, why'd I have to choose the battle maniacs as my worshippers, grab the strong ones they said, they'll be hardy and won't bother you for minor things they said, I should've known better and taken the Kobolds like everyone else..."
"... I am extremely confused, and I would really like an explanation before I get bored and just leave this entire situation to pretend none of it ever happened."
Taking a deep breath, the dragon in humanoid form put her hands on her hips and looked up at me. "I called you here because you weren't coming!" she said, stepping up to me and pointing a finger at my chest. "You came to my realm, you invaded my home, you defeated me in single combat, and yet, even as I prepared myself to become your mate, you didn't come!" she said. "What gives?!"
I was stopped right there. "I'm sorry what?"
"... You know, you came here, you sought me out... you- you didn't come seeking me out," she spoke.
"No, I just wanted to eat fish," I said.
"Oh. Oooh. Oh."
If she were a boat, the wind would've not just been knocked out of her sails, but the sails would've straight up shriveled up, dried and disintegrated from how she suddenly crashed.
"I- I got this totally wrong didn't I?" she said.
"Explain," I demanded.
"Do you not even know?" she asked. "You don't know. You legitimately- you didn't have a parent did you?"
"What's that got to do with anything?" I asked.
"Yeah that figures," she said, sighing. "So I guess mating is off the table-"
"So you called me here-"
"Because I thought you were insulting me by not coming to claim me after defeating me, but I guess you didn't even know you were doing it," she said, crossing her arms over her extremely generous chest, pulling them up slightly.
There was a moment's pause. "How would that even work? I mean if you were in your big form maybe but... even if you're tall for a human, you're still tiny."
"We're dragons," she said, as if that was self explanatory.
And- yeah, you know, maybe it is self explanatory.
"But just so we're clear, I'm not moving to the ocean, it's salty and makes a mess of my scales. So if you wanna be my mate you're moving into the forest, we can create you a lake or something."
She looked up at me. "So-"
"And if you want this relationship to work you're going to have to take equal responsibility, and that means that you're not going to make me be the one who has to plan all our dates, and I'm not going to be the only one who has to come up with gift ideas for our anniversary."
"What in the blazes and storms of creation are you blathering on about!?" she shouted, rising into the air as if she was swimming through it.
I guess it figured, if I could fly in the water, she could swim in the air.
She swam through the air all the way up to my face. "Look, whatever, just- I picked a fight, I lost, and that means what is mine is yours and that includes both myself and my people, just tell me what you want of us and we'll do it."
For a moment, I thought of something. "Say, can you make freshwater? You know, the non-salty kind," I said, when she looked a little confused about the term.
"Yes, yes I can," she said. "The kind that the Lesser Races need to drink right?"
"Exactly," I said. "Okay, fine... then let's go back to my humans' place, I really want to eat some fish and fruits right about now."
Finally, it seemed like some of the tension was bleeding off. First we'd visit my people.
I was thinking of joining our tribes, which were technically both mine based on what she said, and I would really need to speak to them to make sure it would work out. I mean I can probably force it to work out, but the less I have to interfere and the more the humans can solve with each other, the better.
As we reached the sky over my lair, I came back to... a party?
The very Priestess I was going to introduce to the Water Dragon was currently hanging from the flexing biceps of one of the tall and muscular women who had come to deliver the message to me, and with her other hand, she was holding a huge waterskin that must've been filled with some sort of alcoholic drink, while everyone around them was in a circle, clapping and shouting "Chug, Chug, Chug!" as she drank by pouring it directly into her mouth.
I think I get it now.
Also her clothes and armor were strewn about and the muscular scarred woman was butt naked, as was the priestess for that matter.
"I swear I leave for five fucking minutes..." I muttered to myself as I started to fly down gently.
"You should see what happens when I go to sleep for a single lunar cycle..." my fellow dragon muttered, flying closer to my body as we both started our descent.
Comments
Zeromaru2
They're like frats, but they keep ignoring what the Head is saying. lol. But hey, at least he got a wife out of it
Baron of Awesome
Huh, dragon wife get I suppose.
