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I Said No Human Sacrifices, Dammit! 6
🕑 Added 2025-07-03 02:34:28 +0000 UTCAll around me were vaguely familiar faces and people, but mostly, merriment as two tribes joined together into one, so many different people, short and tall, muscular and skinny, tanned and fair skin contrasting with the deeply rich olive and nearly matte black of others.
Tallest of them all was the human form of the Water Dragon, who sat on the same cushion as I did.
Already, my people simply accepted her, my humans knew to simply accept the new status quo as it was my word and thus to be obeyed. Good humans.
Well, the humans were getting along I suppose. Seeing the dragon deities they worshiped sitting together as guests of honor in the celebration for the union of the tribes probably made it way smoother.
Sometimes, this primitive religion thing's pretty useful.
"I'm not going to be able to go back to raw fish after this, I didn't know you could actually make food better by burning it!"
"It's not burning, it's cooking, totally different!" I insisted.
Initially, my guest had thought to make a scene by acting all defeated, borderline princess knight stuff -ohh, maybe I should kidnap a princess?- but after my humans brought out the tribute of fish and fruit that I had demanded, it seemed like she would rather accept my hospitality.
"Anyway, so that's how it works itself out," she said, waving a long piece of meat attached to a spine, the spines being so large made it really good for humans to eat off of, and the crunch of bone was disturbingly satisfying as she threw the large piece into my mouth. "You can't humanize at all?"
I didn't have the heart to tell her I passed on that to get some extra points to spend elsewhere. For some reason the character sheet creator gave you tons of extra points for not having a human form so I couldn't resist. "I mean I don't see it as much of a disadvantage."
"It does make interacting with humans easier," the water dragon pointed out.
That was fair, but at the same time, it's not like I was having all that much trouble communicating. Well, communicating everything except my lack of desire for their flesh. Speaking of which-
The Dragon Priestess approached us, there were meats hung from her neck, a collar made out of sinew and with choice cuts of forest meats, which I recognized the strange purple color as being from some of the stronger beasties out there.
"Great one-"
I turned to face her fully and placed my claws underneath my body so that I could raise myself further if need be, trying to bring the full majesty of my form before her so that she would understand if and when I forcefully told her that I was not going to eat her, no matter how delicious her accessories looked.
"-I've brought more fruit!"
She moved aside and gestured behind her, where two of the huge amazonian women, were bringing a tray piled with various types of fruit, most of which was brought over from the deeper parts of the forest were the fruit grew more bountiful and bigger. Interesting.
"The Water Dragon Clan Tribe-" then she stopped herself, "the Argentum Water Dragon Clan Tribe-"
"That's too long. From now on they and their people will just be of us, so just call them Water Clan, for short," I said. "That fine with you?"
"We're yours so whatever you say goes, also, yes, the name is a mouthful," the Water Dragon agreed.
"Excellent," I said, nodding. "So you are the Water Clan of Argentum."
"Ah! So does that mean we are the Silver clan?" the Priestess asked.
That didn't seem right. "No. Only the elite guard shall name their clan after me!" I said, imperiously as I could make it, "only the greatest among my humans shall bear my name! So pick them carefully!"
"We've made progress, some have even cleared the training course and are ready to start learning how to fight properly, and the Water Clan has even agreed to help!"
"Good."
A thought crossed me, as my eyes scanned along the bodies of the Water Clan members. They were tall, muscular, strong, and more importantly, they dressed like stereotypical amazons, with what basically passed for tribalwear bikinis and basically weapons all over their bodies as accessories.
"And for armor, I want them to wear something like this," I said, "but with a cape, and shoulderpads. Big shoulderpads."
If she had a notepad I could already imagine her desperately taking notes as I spoke.
I'd have to invent glasses, too. The Priestess is a little too big, but I kinda would like to have a short girl, nerdy, with glasses, as a scribe. It just makes sense. Dark hair, shoulder or neck length at the most. Yeah. Definitely.
"I have no idea what these glasses are, but we shall endeavor to-"
"Was I speaking out loud?" I asked. "Nevermind, of course I was."
"If you know what they are, simply create them," the Water Dragon said, sitting down and leaning against my scales, raising her hands and creating a block of ice in her hands.
Oh.
Right. Forgot about that for a moment. I concentrated and focused my power, growling from deep in my throat as I first tried to request, then I demanded, that the world follow my will and reshape itself so that the image in my mind was projected, and then enforced, onto the world.
Oval shaped lenses, a silver frame. No correction, but, I wouldn't know how to do that anyway. It was all one piece at first, and with a bit of effort, I managed to separate them into multiple pieces, making sure that all the moving parts could, indeed, move. They were really not the sort of eyewear that would be super durable, but, with my power, they would survive long enough.
"There, these, find a scribe that matches my requirements, and this shall be her uniform."
I stopped for a moment.
"Also clothes, she must also wear robes," I added.
"Oh-" why'd the priestess sound disappointed?
She grabbed a cut of meat dangling from her neck, ripped it off of the cord it was hanging from, and took a bite of it, as the Water Clan finished setting up the tray behind her.
"Your will shall be done, Great One!" she called. She then turned to the Water Clan and spoke to them, which I paid no attention to.
Instead, my attention was grabbed by the Water Dragon, who grabbed a particularly large fruit, a sort of strange combination between a banana and strawberry, basically a long yellow strawberry. She popped it into her mouth, tip first, in a completely accidental lewd gesture... and then she bit it off, with teeth as sharp as a shark, and chewed them with her mouth open, making a show of it, swallowing the juicy fruit and letting out a sigh of satisfaction.
"I see, I understand why you live in a forest now, this fruit stuff's pretty good too," she said. "This is great!"
"Well I'm glad you like it," I said, settling down and curling up a little more, so that I was more comfortable on the cushion. Not enough time had passed for them to repair it, not fully at least, but it would do. "Because you'll be living here. I think we can dig you a big hole and then you can make a lake."
"Would it not be simpler to simply live in a human dwelling?" she asked.
I turned to look at her. "Do whatever you want," I said, "but you better behave whatever you do," I said, raising a claw and tapping it against the ground. "I will know."
We didn't talk much more, as the humans started to get even more into the merrymaking and celebrating. I have no real idea how they had produced that much alcohol, did they even have a vineyard? Maybe they traded for it. Either way, they were consuming both wine and other fermented drinks at truly frightening paces, on average.
I wonder, should I enforce a minimum age for drinking? Kids do seem to be getting alcoholic drinks but they're so watered down I wouldn't be surprised if it barely even affected them. Well, with the Water Dragon's help we'd have infinite drinking water...
"You know, I've only been calling you Water Dragon, what is your name?" I asked.
"... that is my name," she said. "I am the Water Dragon," she spoke. "That is who I am, until another dragon kills me and takes my name."
Right. More dragon stuff I was totally unaware of. In my defense, I'm not really all that interested in that stuff, mostly I'm here for the giant firebreathing lizard part. Being a living force of nature, an awesome monster, all of that. The whole societal rules and norms thing is boring.
So whatever. "I'll call you Aqua for short," I said.
"That's acceptable," the newly dubbed Aqua responded, her voice sounding a little strange, her words hanging a little too long. "Then, then I shall respond to Aqua."
Oh! That was nice! The word wasn't translated! Hm- I wonder if it's because...
Wait... now that I remember... The name of the Tribe, I can remember it, Argentum... I can't hear the name of the Water Dragon Clan Tribe, but I can hear the name of my humans' tribe correctly... is there a difference? Maybe my brain recognizes one as a proper noun but not the other?
Ugh, this is so nonsensical and confusing.
So I'll ignore it.
"Right, anyway- where's the priestess..."
I spotted her, dancing a dance that was suspiciously close to the Macarena, in a sort of conga line formation, around a bonfire. Was it night? I looked up. It was night. I reached for and plucked the priestess with two of my claws, grabbing her by the back of her robes and pulling her up and towards me.
"Find the wisest among the elders who are in charge of all village expansion projects, and tell them to put Aqua here to work," I said, gesturing to my would be partner, "have her help set up irrigation channels and rivers and wells and whatever could use the expertise of a water dragon," I said.
"Great One- may I request that we start with such tasks tomorrow?" she asked. "The elders are very drunk right now!"
Well, that made sense.
"That's acceptable," I magnanimously allowed it. "And as for you Aqua - listen to the priestess as if her words came from me, within reason. And do NOT eat her, nor are you allowed to eat ANY human, especially if they offer it!"
Aqua looked at me, raising an eyebrow in confusion. I kinda miss having eyebrows to make facial expressions with actually.
"Which of the three?" Aqua asked.
I looked at the priestess, then I looked at Aqua, then back again, and back again...
There was only one there.
"Priestess, from now on the humans are forbidden from eating these," I said, pointing at the huge strawberry banana things. Strawnanas. "Strananas."
"Strananas?" she asked.
"Strananas," I repeated.
"Strananas they are then," the priestess agreed.
"Good, I want more," Aqua said.
"I think you've had enough Strananas," I said.
"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!" Aqua shouted, grabbing a Stranana from the pile and shoving it into her mouth, crunching it down swiftly. She tried to take a step forward towards the next one in the pile, and I got a front row seat to watch her miss the ground entirely and then smash face first against it, leaving an indentation with the shape of her face on the hard packed ground that surrounded the platform I sat upon.
And then she began to snore.
Loudly.
"Keep some of these Strananas on storage, we shall bring them out for special occasions, and whenever I need short term amusement," I said, nodding to myself. "Store them in the frozen cave."
The priestess raised her hands. "Your will shall be done!"
I must be a goddamn prophet with the name I chose for Aqua. Whatever the case, I picked her up, put her on my cushion next to my body, and then settled to rest, simply deigning to observe the merrymaking of the humans.
Despite the fact that the night was well on its way, it seemed like their energy wasn't fading at all, they kept having fun. A group of amazons were playing some sort of weird game where they would crabwalk while what I can only imagine as being the males of their kind, who were quite small, stood on their abs and tried to push each other off of the human platform.
At the same time, the two 'crabs' would use their hands to try to pinch each other so as to make the other lose balance.
It was not even the silliest part of the night.
I never expected people this primitive to have such wild parties, but I suppose fun and merriment are not a modern invention after all!
Something tugged at me - it seemed Aqua was waking up.
Turning my neck to see if she'd sobered up, she got the initiative.
"Mate with me!" she demanded. "You've been ignoring all my attempts thus far you stupid, massive, huge, powerful beast!" she said, grabbing at some of my scales, losing her grip and slipping, having to catch herself before she faceplanted.
Okay, she was absolutely not even the slightest bit sober. She was red all over. She flexed her muscles and the water that formed her clothes dissolved into mist, and she stood naked, pushing my side as if wanting me to roll over.
"Let's make babies!"
I've also discovered, my magic automatically translates slurred words into something comprehensible to my brain.
"... how about... no?" I said. "At least not on the first date."
She pushed until she passed out and then crashed onto my side again.
She tried it again two or three times, and as the humans had split into two teams to start bouncing a ball made out of what I can only assume to be animal skins off their hips to try to pass it through a hoop held by the top person in a human pyramid, I settled to watch because it was actually pretty competitive and fun.
Somehow, someone managed to toss an entire human being through it at one point, but not a single person managed to get the ball through the hoop in the end.
