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Her Majesty The Prince X
🕑 Added 2023-06-03 20:02:27 +0000 UTCLou sat on the bed as the Prince went about his bedroom getting dressed. The morning light seemed dimmer; sounds, muffled. She was still stunned by what he'd told her: he wanted her to leave.
All those years spent wrapped in her old body felt like a footnote, a series of unremarkable events leading to the moment when their lives magically, dramatically intertwined. The majority of her time in the body she now called her own had been spent here, in his castle. More than the village where she had been born or the city where she had trained, this was her home. This is where she belonged, within these walls. At his side.
And now, he wanted her to leave.
"Loulou?" the Prince asked, waving his hand in front of Lou's face. "Are you there?"
She snapped to attention, looking up at him. She opened her mouth, but no actual words would come out. She didn't even know where to begin. Was he upset with her? He didn't look upset. They'd just had a lovely, intimate heart-to-heart... Frederic's interruption notwithstanding. Was this one of his plans? No, he usually looped her in, at least superficially, instead of acting like nothing was wrong. Then what? Why did he want her to go away?
"I asked you, where are you planning to go now?" he asked, putting on the form-fitting leather jerkin that served as the base layer of his armor. "I'll have a ride prepared for you."
"I... I don't..." Lou began to say, unsure where her sentence was going. Eight months into what she had resigned herself to be her life from now on, she'd seen a glimpse of something better; something so pure and joyful she had never even imagined could exist, let alone be within her reach. Now that she held it in her hands, she didn't want to let it go. She wasn't ready to let it go. She could barely conceive of a world beyond these walls anymore; a world that didn't include him.
"Oh, you should get dressed first," the Prince said, meticulously pulling and adjusting the sleeves of his shirt under those of the jerkin.
"Right. Right. Sorry," Lou said absent-mindedly. If nothing else, getting dressed would buy her some time, at least. She looked around from her position. Where had her dress gone? Had the Prince really just thrown it somewhere last night, or had she dreamed that part? She pulled her wayward apron free from the curtains, clutching it for a modicum of privacy while she hunted down the rest of clothes. Part of her found it very funny that she was self-consciously hiding the body the Prince had lived in for over two decades, but the rest of her didn't feel like laughing right now.
She found her work dress draped over the back end of the desk. She quickly retrieved it, and began putting it on. "Is there..."
"Loulou, don't wear that! Let me get you something decent, it's the least I can do." He threw open one of his dressers, rooting through some clothes that had clearly not been touched in months. "Where did I put that, I could've sworn..."
Lou stepped aside as the Prince emptied out most of the drawers out onto the bed. Maybe this was a misunderstanding. Maybe he just didn't realize how important it was for her to stay. Why else would he be so casual about dismissing her like this? Why else would he be treating this like any other morning, when it was one of the most important moments of her life? "Is... is there a way," she began to say before being cut off by a large ball of cloth and fur bouncing onto the bed.
"There it is!" the Prince exclaimed as he pulled a carefully-folded blue dress from the very bottom of the piece of furniture he'd been excavating. "Always meant to wear this one, never got the chance. I think it'll look wonderful on you."
"Thanks," Lou said quietly as she received the garment. "But, I was wondering if there was a way for me to... is that my cloak?" She put the dress down on the bed and rushed over to the familiar-looking ball of fur, unrolling it like it was precious parchment. The thick brown cloak, the blue wolf pelt wrapped about the shoulders... that was hers alright. Her companion of a dozen winters and a dozen more. "I'd forgotten all about it! Why was it in the back of an old dresser? When I wasn't wearing it, I always kept it on display."
The Prince winced at the thought, looking at the paintings and finery already present on the walls. "Loulou, it's a ratty old wolf pelt on a cape."
"It's one-of-a-kind!" she replied, holding it open; standing up on her tiptoes and stretching her arms up so the bottom didn't touch the floor. "Grandfather showed me how to make it after my first hunt. I wore it every day I could."
"Yes, I remember," the Prince said with a chuckle. He took the cloak from her hands and turned it around to get a good look at it; came face to face with the wolf's head that rested on the left shoulder. "I suppose I should have given it a little more reverence. The famous cloak of the Wolf of the White Woods." He folded it back up—more properly, this time.
"Only here. Back home I was just Lou." She looked at the cloak in his hands. "You didn't wear it?"
"One time, you-know-when. It was already around my shoulders when I came to. Once I took it off, I never put it back on. It was always more your style than mine." He put the folded cloak on his desk, amidst the papers.
Lou nodded, pensive. "Is that why you shaved off the beard?"
"No, I shaved off the beard because it was so scratchy. You're not mad I shaved it off, are you? How did you ever stand that thing?"
"It took a really long time to grow! It was a commitment. I guess I got used to it."
The Prince smiled. "Is that why you didn't ask Gaston to cut your hair short?"
Lou blinked, feeling the color rise in her cheeks. "I... I s'pose so," she said, gathering up her long blonde locks as she slipped on her new dress. "I think it's a good look," she said, carefully getting one arm, then the other through their respective sleeves.
The Prince walked over to his carefully-arranged stack of armor plates from the night before, getting ready to layer them on. He shot her a smile. "It is a good look. It suits you very well."
Lou took a deep breath. She had tried and failed to ask this question multiple times already, and now the anxiety at being turned down was threatening to become overwhelming. Maybe this was all in her head. She needed to go ahead and ask. "About what you said... Isn't there a way I could stay here?"
The Prince let out a light chuckle as he picked up the first armor plate. "Loulou, your little disguise was very good, but it wasn't going to last forever, especially with all the dignitaries going in and out all the time. One person would figure it out. Then another. Sooner or later, someone would put two and two together, and then you'd be in danger—or worse, a bargaining chip. That was the main reason I wanted you away from the castle, remember? You have to think of your own safety now." He buckled the piece of metal in plate, fussing with the leather strap. "Could've sworn I mentioned it in my letter."
Lou tried to keep her beating heart in check. The Prince hadn't said no; he was just preoccupied with her safety. And really, who could blame him? Lou knew this feeling like the back of her hand. This was good, or at least, not that bad; there was hope of convincing him. The Prince was one of the brightest minds of his generation, after all. So long as the logic was sound, he could be reasoned with. And he was nowhere near as stubborn as she was.
"Would I really be in that much danger?" she asked. "Things look pretty safe here. Even more so now. You didn't even need my help to take care of that intruder a while back."
"It was just one person. I should hope we didn't need your help for that." The Prince picked up one of the articulated shoulder plates, attaching it one-handed. "Yes, things are very safe right now. But they won't be soon." He buckled one end of the strap, then the other. "I'm about to make a lot of powerful people very angry."
Lou blinked. "You are?"
"Yes," he said with a smile. "Before, I never thought I could pull it off. But now I'm sure I can. And it's all thanks to you, Loulou."
"What..." Lou began to ask, then it hit her. "Oh. Because of my body."
The Prince looked around his room; to the piles of papers and other things lying around. "I had so many great plans when I was younger. I was so full of ambition! But I eventually learned, in a very painful way, that the people I was dealing with would never trust me. Would never listen to the arguments of the princess they saw in front of them, no matter how correct I was. So I compromised; I bargained. I made myself smaller, on purpose. I resigned myself to fulfilling maybe a tenth of the reforms and progress I'd dreamed of."
He reached over to clasp her shoulder. "But now, thanks to you, I don't have to hold back. I don't have to pick and choose which parts of our lives get better, which antiquated vestige we get to finally free ourselves from. As a princess, I could barely get anything done. But as a Prince, I can accomplish everything."
Lou remembered this part of him. She'd always found it very charming, seeing the sparkles in his eyes as he shared his dreams with her. But now that their situations were reversed, he seemed so much more... imposing. Impressive. It made her heart beat faster. It made her want to help him reach his goals even more. In that moment, she would have given him the world.
"You remember what I said about the coronation being a ritual? The Witch-Fiend wasn't the only one after its power. As long as there's a crown to be passed down, there'll be others just like her, waiting to strike. So I'm going to get rid of it."
Lou furrowed her brow. "You're going to destroy the crown?"
The Prince laughed. "No, Loulou." He smiled. "I'm going to give it back." His smile grew to a grin. "I'm going to make it so no one is ever crowned again." His grin stretched from ear to ear. "I'm going to tear the whole thing down."
She wanted to trust him, the way she always had, but this conversation was talking about concepts so far above her pay grade that she wasn't sure if she should be overjoyed or terrified.
He let go of her and returned to his desk, picking up the next metal plate to layer onto his half-complete armor. "Remember the merchant's guild I was supposed to meet this morning? One of the families running it would really rather deal with a prince or a princess than some sort of council. It helps that we're cousins. Helps them, to be clear. But they like to hedge their bets, and so they sent someone to convince me. That's who the intruder was. Good thing our award-winning guard caught them before they got too far in." He tested the buckles on the last few plates he'd layered. "The guild has been... apologetic since. It's made negotiations easier."
Lou thought back to that confrontation by lantern light; the last time she'd ever held a weapon. No wonder security had been stepped up. The Prince had seen this coming, like he always did.
"As long as there's a crown, someone will try to steal it. Someone will try to abuse it." The Prince looked at Lou with a look of determination in his eyes. "This power... I can end it here. I can be the last one to ever wield it."
"And you'll just... give it up?" It seemed too good to be true.
He shrugged matter-of-factly. "Of course. To be honest, I didn't want it in the first place. So if anyone's going to end the cycle, there's no one better than me. I've got everything I need already."
Lou sat back down on the bed, nodding absently. "Of course." This was on such a bigger scale than she'd expected. Part of her wondered how she could ever matter in the grand scheme of the Prince's plans. He was a head of state; he worked on an entirely different level. Of course this was like any other morning to him. Of course he had everything he needed.
He picked up another piece of armor. "That said, it is going to take a little while. A lot of words, some fending off personal attacks. ...Probably a lot of them. Which is why you should stay clear of me. And the castle, while we're at it." He chuckled. "It's funny, isn't it? Now I'm the one keeping you safe."
Lou gripped her knees as she rocked back and forth slightly. She had been so confident just a few minutes ago but now it was all falling apart. She was falling apart. She was back in that gatehouse, pleading and giving up every part of herself just to cling to scraps. But she couldn't just give up. There had to be a way to preserve what remained of the thin strand keeping the two of them here, together, in this moment. "I have friends here now. I'm sure we could find a way to make it work. Maybe smooth things over with the head maid."
He looked over. "Are you still going on about that?"
"I just... I know," Lou said, staring at the floor in front of her, "I know the parts of the castle where the upper class people don't go, where no one would recognize me. I could make sure to stay there, it wouldn't be a problem. It'd be very safe."
The Prince put down the armor plate he'd just picked up, then walked over to the bed. He bent down on one knee, looking at Lou with genuine concern. "Loulou, what are you saying?"
Her breath caught in her throat. This is why she was never big on words; they always failed you when you needed them the most.
"I'm not going to just hide you in the closet. After everything you've done for me... The only reason this castle still stands today is because of you! What happened to your pride?"
"If it means I can stay here with y—"
He put a hand on her shoulder. "Please, listen to yourself! Where's my captain of the royal guard? The bodyguard who saved my life more times than I can count? The warrior who took down the Witch-Fiend one on one?"
Lou looked down, her shoulders tensing up, and remained quiet. That part of her was still in there, somewhere. But so many other things had changed; so many new things had bubbled to the surface, refusing to ever go back to the way they were before. What had pride ever done for her back when she had been that captain, that warrior? It had been useful as a tool to make herself more imposing, more fearsome, so she could better do her job; so she could better keep him safe. But now, he was beyond danger, and she needed every ounce of her strength just to keep herself out of trouble. There was no need for pride anymore.
The Prince awaited an answer for a long moment. He then went back to his desk and began putting his armor on again. "Help me understand. What is it that's so scary out there?" He picked up a segmented plate and began strapping it into place. "The streets are safe, the communities are thriving—last I checked—and full of terrific art, the nightlife is better than it's ever been..."
Lou wanted to forget those first few days, when all she had to go on was the Prince's care package and Frederic's instructions. Her entire world upended, her very being changed from the inside out, her routine completely thrown into disarray. She had needed to relearn almost everything. And worst of all, she'd had to do it alone.
Oh, gods. The eight months she'd spent here had dulled the pain of those first weeks. She'd forgotten just how horrific it had felt to be so alone. Feelings welled up from inside her that she couldn't hold back.
"I tried, you know?" Lou finally said, crossing her arms around her midsection. Holding on tight. "I tried really hard to do what you told me. Every day, I tried to be happy. I remembered where you liked to go, what you liked to do when we'd visit the city together."
"Loulou..."
"I didn't understand. I didn't understand what I was doing wrong." Lou doubled over, holding her head as close to her knees as she could. The Prince had seen her cry enough times. "It was supposed to be easy, right? I'd seen you enjoy yourself a thousand times. Why wasn't it working for me? Why couldn't I do this simple thing?"
The Prince stepped closer, quietly buckling in the piece of armor he'd been holding. His hands were free, but for the first time, he seemed unsure of how to comfort Lou.
"I was in your body, sitting in your favorite spot, drinking your coffee just how you liked it and none of it mattered because you weren't there!" She sobbed, bringing up a hand to her face to give herself some privacy.
"I read your letter a hundred times," she said, shakily gasping for air. "It was all I had. Just words and memories."
The Prince took one more step, but Lou put her free arm out to stop him. "I could always do anything you ever asked me to!" she yelled out. "Anything! And now... now I can't even accomplish the easiest mission you can give me." Her fingers curled, trying to find purchase on the unadorned part of his jerkin. "That's where your captain of the guard is now. When I try to be a warrior, I fail at it. When I try to live out there, I barely survive."
"This isn't living either!" he said, putting his hand on hers as he kneeled down. "You don't need to keep doing this. I don't need you to keep doing this. You worked here in the castle for almost a year, and for what? Were you really not going to let me know you were here sweeping floors and changing bedsheets?"
Lou looked away, avoiding his gaze. She could just tell him. She could just tell him that the thought of being between the same walls as him was what kept her going; that the dream of one day seeing him again in person was enough to make her accept any kind of hardship. But she knew he wouldn't like it. Every time she'd tried to open her heart to him that way, he'd jumped in, sword drawn, with unmatched speed, in order to hold it shut.
The Prince leaned in closer, a worried look over his face. "Loulou, please answer me. If I hadn't noticed it was you, if I hadn't stopped you... How many more years of your life were you prepared to spend working here under my nose, without saying anything?"
An unseen hand gripped Lou's heart tightly. She sat up straight, looking into his eyes. "The rest of it."
The Prince stood back up, his temper beginning to flare. "And if I'd found someone, another princess somewhere? If I'd gotten married, grown old with her?"
Lou's face was a mask of resolute melancholy. "I would have cared for your children."
The Prince stood there, looking back at her, for a long time.
He shook his head; slowly, mournfully. "Loulou... Would that have been fair to you? Would that have made you happy?"
"...No, of course not." Her gaze drifted to the side, to the haphazard piles of miscellanea strewn across the room. Every object touched by his hand; each one eagerly awaiting the moment he'd pick them back up again, as if no time had passed at all. "But it would've been enough."
The sadness on the Prince's face slowly turned to a kind of anger she'd only ever seen in the mirror; the kind of anger you reserve for those who would dare hurt the ones you love.
"You're wrong," the Prince said. "This is wrong. Can't you see it? Why do you still insist on sacrificing so much of yourself for me?" Suddenly, it was as if a light went on in his head. "Are you still clinging to that old promise, is that it? Haven't you let that go by now?"
She shook her head. "Oaths don't grow old. They don't expire."
"Loulou, it's just something you say when you become a knight. You don't have to take it this far. You never had to."
Lou stood up in spite of herself. "It wasn't just something I said! I swore an oath!" She could feel her heart beating fast again; what the Prince said had struck a nerve. She remembered the words she'd said that day all those years ago; she'd memorized them, repeating them as a mantra. "I swore on my heart I would stay by your side." She closed her hands into trembling fists. "I promised I'd keep you safe. Months don't change that, years don't change that. A lifetime won't change that."
The Prince seemed to calm down, the anger on his face cooling off. But the sharp edges remained. "Alright," he said, nodding. "Alright. That settles it." He walked back to his desk, picking up the next piece of armor. "I thought I had the right idea. Now I'm certain of it." He buckled the plate into place. "I release you, Loulou."
Her breath caught in her throat. "What?"
"I release you from your oath, Loulou. You're free."
Lou stumbled backward a few steps. "Wh... what? No." She shook her head. "No! You can't just do that, it's not that simple!"
"Yes it is, I just did it. I'm the Prince." He picked up the next metal plate, his attention fully focused on strapping it into place. "I get to decide."
"No! I swore an oath, me!" Lou ran up to him. "I made the promise, I said the words!" She pointed at him, poking him in his armored chest repeatedly. "You heard them! You acknowledged them! As long as my heart beat, I would keep you safe!"
"It is beating!" the Prince shouted back, reaching up to his collar. In one fluid motion he ripped his armor open—leather jerking, shirt and all—sending metal plates clattering across the floor. He took one step forward, pushing his bare chest into Lou's hand. A surge of emotion washed over his face. "Can't you feel it, Loulou? It is beating. It is keeping me safe. You did it, Loulou."
She stood there, her lower lip trembling, the Prince's pulse reverberating through her palm.
"You did it, Loulou," he said, softly this time. "You fulfilled your oath. You've done everything you said you would, and beyond. There are already tales of how far beyond you went." He reached up with his other hand, pressing it over hers. "Please, trust me with the rest, like you trusted me with your body. You can stop. You’re free now, Loulou. You’re free."
Lou shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "I don't want to be. I—"
"Loulou," he interrupted, a serious look in his eyes. "You protected me all these years, didn't you? You kept me safe. Let me do the same for you. Let me be the one to keep danger at bay from now on. I'll be the one to bear the consequences of what I'm about to do, alright? Me. You don't need to get wrapped up in this."
She trembled in place, her whole body shivering. The inevitability of what was coming next was crushing; her knees buckled under the pressure. There was no longer a way out. She couldn't think of one. All she had left were fleeting seconds.
The Prince looked down at her shaking form, then at his desk. He reached over and picked up the folded wolf pelt cloak, unfurling it with one hand and wrapping it around her shoulders with the help of the other. On her body, now, it may as well have belonged to a giant.
"Please..." Lou said, pressing her forehead against his bare chest. "Please let me say goodbye properly."
"Of course, Loulou. I'm not a monster."
He lifted her chin with his left hand and slipped his right arm around the small of her back, pulling her in.
Then he leaned in close, and kissed her.
She held on as long as she could; clinging to the seconds, to the warmth on his lips. If she could remember one moment for the rest of her life, she wanted it to be this one. If she no longer needed to be the warrior, the protector, the captain—if someone new were to be born in their wake, then all the pain would be worth it. She would not let this ephemeral closeness go to waste. She would endure.
And then the moment ended, and he pulled away.
"Go say goodbye to your friends," the Prince said. "I'll have someone escort you out, to wherever you want to go." He reached up, gently placing her glasses back onto her face. "Stay safe, Loulou."
There was movement. People came in; she was led out of his room, beyond the heavy door. Though it was still morning, the light in the passageway seemed dimmer; sounds, muffled. The Prince left, along with his entourage.
And then she was alone.
Comments
Dominique Allaire
❤ What to say...
Katieclysm
Oh good. The prince isn't cruel. Just an IDIOT. ... granted Lou's not much better. USE YOUR WORDS, PEOPLE.
SixArmedSweater
Uuuuuuuuuuugh. Just fucking COMMUNICATE.
Relia
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I mean, of course. Of course! They're just completely talking past each other. Poor Loulou. But at least I don't feel the urge to bite the prince anymore.
