Ryan Rimmel
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Dialysis Book: Chapter 20: A Rude Awakening
🕑 Added 2023-12-13 17:00:19 +0000 UTCI groaned as light splashed over my face. Exhaling, I felt something touching my face but when I reached up to brush it off I realized it was hair. Then someone pinched me.
“No,” said a woman, “It is way too early.”
I was indoors, laying on something rather uncomfortable with someone who was very comfortable. She smelled like lilacs and sweat, and was very much a cuddler. Her body was long, lean and very well muscled. I could feel her breasts poking into my side, and she was even less well endowed than Kialee, but a boob in the hand…
Then she poked my neck with her vampire ear.
“Ouch,” I mumbled.
“Humans and your rounded ears,” yawned Aria.
“Are we on a couch?” I asked.
“Yes, and if you could please shut up,” yelled Madox.
“Be polite,” said Misel from the back of the room. I glanced over, she was on the bed. With Madox, and someone else. The room smelled like sex and sweat. Also I was not wearing pants.
Further, I didn’t recognize the room despite being naked and having obviously slept on a couch. This room was clearly Madox’s, it screamed a dwarf lives here. There were the expected things like a bed, which was quite a bit larger than strictly necessary and very full at the moment. A small kitchenette that was used as a bar. A dressing table that was used for alcohol storage and beard maintenance. Finally there was a wall of destruction, covered in various weapons that a dwarf might use to kill the things that needed killing.
And a couch with me and a naked elf on top of me.
“What the hell happened last night, I feel like I was thrown through a wall,” I said.
“You were, it was great,” said Fizzy, sitting up. She was naked from the waist up, at least, and the sunlight hit her perfectly. I had only seen her in robes before and there was a lot there to unpack.
A hand reached up and grabbed her by a pigtail, yanking her back down. “It is cold you cow. You may leave but you may not take the blankets.”
“I thought we pretty much healed overnight,” I groaned, everything either hurt or felt loose. I was pretty sure one of my eyes had swelled shut.
“You were thrown through a wall,” mumbled Aria. “You are lucky the magic squirbit was there.”
“Praise the squirbit,” said Misel, waving her hand in a circle through the covers.
“I’m pretty sure you drank too much,” said Madox. “I didn’t see a damn magical squirbit.”
“Maybe you didn’t drink enough, everyone knows that when the need arises a magical squirbit will come and save the day,” groaned Aria, she pushed herself off of me and fell to the ground with an ungraceful thud. “Ouch.”
“That couldn’t have hurt,” said Fizzy as she stood next to the bed and pulled her robe over her assets, and breasssets. She was the greatest short stake I’d ever seen.
“That wouldn’t have hurt if you were a gnome,” said Misel. I had to agree. “Wait, why are my feet so warm?”
Shade stuck up his head, and looked at the formerly sleeping couple disappointed. Madox stared at the animal for a long moment.
“I know I wasn’t that drunk,” said Madox as all three bedmates looked at each other.
“I only sleep with things that can talk,” said Misel dismissively.
“Would you please be quiet, I am still resting,” said Shade. Both short stacks eyed each other.
“Is this going to be another Sharbi incident,” said Misel.
“I’m positive I wasn’t that drunk,” said Fizzy, head in her hands. “Right?”
“You two are disgusting,” said Shade, shoving his head back under the covers. Madox moved a foot as if to push the dog off the bed, he was apparently uninvited, but then looked over at me cautiously.
“Can you get him off the bed, I wouldn’t want to offend you,” said Madox, a strange edge to his voice.
“Shade,” I muttered and the dog stood up, stretched and hopped off the bed. He gave everyone a disappointed look. “What is the point of a vacation if you can’t sleep in?”
“This isn’t a vacation, we have to work,” said Fizzy as she placed on her cap, which almost looked like a ball cap but with an extra large slot for her hair. “Besides we are nearly at three bells passed. If we don't hurry up they will be switching to the lunch menu.”
“So,” said Madox.
“It's vegan today with wine pairing,” said Fizzy.
The dwarf groaned, hopping out of bed. He was what a six foot tall powerlifter would look like if you smashed him down to four feet. His shoulders were impossibly broad and his chest hair was so thick you could knit a sweater with it.
I blinked.
“I didn’t know you swung that way, Max,” said Madox as he grabbed his britches. “I don’t, just to warn you but most of the elves do.”
“That’s a harmful stereotype,” said Aria, who was also getting dressed. She was having no issues getting all of her clothing on, but it was still a nice show nonetheless.
“Wait, why are you guys getting dressed, why not pull stuff out of your inventory,” I said, spotting my discarded shirt next to the door in a handy basket. Apparently, in my haste to remove it I’d tossed it. Groaning, I walked over to grab it and Fizzy whistled as she grabbed her shirt off the bar.
“Now that is a smooth bottom,” she laughed.
“Hey, a real man has a hairy backside,” said Madox.
“You have a hairy everything, I’m still picking it out of my teeth,” said Misel.
Madox grinned.
I pulled my shirt off of Madox’s basket of weapons.
“Where are my pants,” I asked.
Aria looked around, “I don’t recall you wearing any when we came back.”
“From the bar? That was like a mile away from here,” I said. “I walked back without any pants on?”
“Yeah, I think I bet you I’d do something naughty if you did, can’t really remember,” said Aria.
“You did, and you did,” said Fizzy, smoothing her robe as she walked over to a mirror and began working on her hair.
“Good, I don’t want to be a gnombly, the honor of the race and all that,” said Aria as she tightened several straps around her midsection. Fizzy glared at her for a moment from the mirror, then shook her head.
“She means well,” said Fizzy.
“Wait, is that offensive,” said Aria as she leaned up against the door. Her hair was perfect.
“Yes, it means a gnome who doesn’t pay her debts,” said Fizzy.
“Oh, sorry,” said Aria. She actually looked genuinely apologetic so Fizzy forgave her.
Shade walked up to me and spit out my pants, “I recovered them after you told the mean lady that she shouldn’t talk to me like that.”
I put on my pants, “Who was that anyway?”
Fizzy held out her hand and Misel dropped a coin onto it. Fizzy watched the coin for several seconds before putting it in her pouch while watching Misel critically.
“I did that once,” said Misel. “And you cheated.”
Fizzy shook her head, “That was Mistress Tamriel, I don’t know what possessed you to slap her but don’t do that.”
“You are just lucky she didn’t get serious right away,” said Misel.
Madox walked next to me, stopping at his wall of destruction. He grabbed two axes, a sword and, after looking over at me, a spear. He reached into the basket and pulled out several javelins. They looked like roman pilums, a spear with a long thin tip designed to bend when it got stuck in the enemy.
“Do you need to borrow a few?” asked Madox, lifting out three.
“Are you sure,” I asked.
“They are disposable throwing weapons, I don’t have any weapon skills for throwing spears so they aren’t going to be the best for you but if you don’t have any,” said Madox.
“Thanks,” I said, placing the three javelins into my inventory.
“Get away from your weapon wall, I want breakfast,” said Fizzy, ushering everyone out the door. We got into the hallway and everyone started heading off in the same direction so I followed. Shade walked up next to me and started sniffing the air. Fizzy continued talking, “That was Tamriel, Mistress Tamriel if you want to be official, and Mistress Tamriel, Frigid Lady of the Icy North if you want a favor, she’s an agent for System Lord Domagal, one of her better ones.”
“So me yelling at her was a stupid idea,” I said.
“You talking to her was a stupid idea, you smacking her in the face with your stick was borderline suicidal. I’m hoping you knew she had a magical barrier up and that attack would do no damage,” said Fizzy.
“She kicked my dog,” I said.
“Dog,” asked Madox, confused.
“Mutant Doat,” said Misel gesturing at Shade. Everyone nodded.
“What happened next,” I asked, everything got fuzzy after I went flying through the wall.
“Well, you bought the drinks so elven custom is that the host of hospitality is sacrosanct,” said Aria.
“What?”
“Every piled on her, and she’s in town so she’s not supposed to just blow the place up,” said Madox. “Sharbi even punched her in the face, twice.”
“That’s when it got back, Gulwing was there and tried to mediate,” said Aria.
“Oh, so it tamed down,” I asked.
“Well, I pointed out that she attacked your mutant doat and Gulwing started attacking her,” said Aria as I continued to look more puzzled. “He said something about that doat seeing things, unnatural things.”
“Anyway, the host of hospitality is sacrosanct. Anyone attacking one is effectively attacking the party and it was a good party,” said Madox. “Like every elf will jump in and beat the shit out of anyone who ruins their good time. Which was handy, most of the elves didn’t like you much before.”
“They like me now?” I asked.
“You bought drinks,” said Madox. “That’s the universal friendship button.”
“I only bought one drink, for everyone,” I said, the issue with drinks is that they cost copper pieces, and I had gold. Even as badly marked up as the drinks in that bar certainly were, my throwing around cash would keep everyone in liquor for days.
“You started the party, it was your party,” said Aria.
“Anyway, Tamriel finally got angry enough to start really casting and Mark stepped in,” said Fizzy. “She was already beaten up pretty badly at that point, and your doat bit her on the ass pretty hard.”
“I used my bite ability,” said Shade.
“Yeah, he shouldn’t use essence abilities in a bar fight, but I don't think it mattered at that point,” said Madox. “Anyway, Mark explained to her the error of her ways and then flung her through a wall so we are even.”
“Mark, the wizard,” I said.
“Yeah, Mark, the WIZARD,” said Misel, emphasizing the final word like I was stupid or something.
“He’s a good wizard,” I asked, sheepishly.
Fizzy sighed, “He’s the most powerful wizard in Dominus, excepting the system lord Domagal herself.”
“Mark, the wizard,” I continued.
“He might have some brain damage,” said Aria as we left the back hallways of the complex into a central hall where I could smell something good. Lots of something good.
“What do you mean,” asked Misel.
“He was also worried about contraception,” she said. “Afraid I’d be with child.”
Fizzy snorted, “Different flowers can’t cross pollinate.”
I glanced over and realized the group I was in contained one of each race. I thought it might have been an inclusive or diverse thing, it wasn’t. It was for guilt free naughty times. As we walked in I noticed several other groups walking in with pretty much the same configurations.
Except Scarbi, she had four elves with her. All males.
“Careful with her, She’s really a human,” said Fizzy.
“What, I thought she was a cat girl,” I said.
“Oh, no. She has a Liger core as the base of her class, no one can figure out how she cleared the behavioral limiters on a monster core but she very much has free will,” said Fizzy.
“I was told that was impossible,” I said.
“Well, it apparently is just really hard,” said Misel as she chased after Madox who was heading to a tray of bacon. Which was a really good idea. I followed them with Shade. Aria slapped my ass and then broke off towards the omelet bar, or at least what I thought was an omelet bar.
They were serving pastries with eggs cooked into them. That actually looked tasty but the line was pretty long and the bacon was available. I grabbed two plates.
“Floor scraps for me,” said Shade sadly.
“It’s vacation, dude,” I said looking at the vast array of food. “You are going to have to sit at the table and eat politely.”
“But I get steak,” said Shade.
I nodded.
“I promise to try,” replied Shade.
I looked into his soulful eyes, that was all anyone could ask of a good boy.
I started piling on the bacon, and then some ham. It wasn’t ham. And a steak, which wasn’t a steak, or was it. I’d had tuna steak before? Is a steak just a cut of meat cooked on a grill? That didn’t make sense, so I took a second ‘steak’ to think about it.
Shade kept pointing me at different stuff, which I threw on his plate until both were piled so full of food I didn’t see how we were going to eat them. I carried them to the checkout girl, a bored looking slip of an elf who couldn’t have been older than one hundred.
She looked at both plates and tapped something on her tablet, “That will be 22 coppers.” One silver was 100 coppers, and I had more than a hundred silvers.
“Best vacation ever,” I whispered, paying the girl as we walked back over to an empty table and sat down. I put Shade’s plate next to mine and he hopped up on the chair. No one ever cared a little.
Of course, I looked around and realized I wasn’t the only person with a companion and they were all eating at the table as well so Shade wasn’t special. Which was great, because he was something far greater than special. He was eating steak at the table.
“This is not steak,” said Shade as he scarfed down a whole piece. “But it is good.”
“Deer,” said Aria who had her pastry, lots of fruit and some jerky.
“Honey?” I replied. She handed me a small tub full of honey.
“She means the meat is deer,” said Shade.
Aria pulled off a piece of fruit with chopsticks and placed it into her mouth, entirely boringly. Not a suggestive nibble to be seen. I tried.
I had a fork, as did everyone else except Shade. He wasn’t expected to use one because he didn't have thumbs.
“Yes”, I said, pouring some honey into my tava. Tava was not coffee, but it was close. It was way too syrupy and mixing it with water or milk just made it chunky. The honey didn’t work well either, but I was committed at that point.
“I can’t stand the taste either,” said Madox pulling out a flask. “Try the old clan brew.”
I poured in whatever he had and it at least mixed, which was an improvement. The tava was still too syrupy, but the alcohol took the edge off.
“Everyone was treating me like a dick at the tournament, and now everyone is happy to see me,” I asked.
“Wow, it's like Heywood is gone and Max is here,” said Aria, pointing at me with her chopstick.
“Look, lad, no one liked Heywood because he sucked,” said Madox bluntly. “He wasn’t useful in a fight and slacked off all the time.”
“You, on the other hand,” continued Misel as she cut up several pieces of unknown vegetable, “Seem like a real adventurer, with a companion, and you buy drinks.”
“Generally everyone in the guild gets along pretty well as long as you are carrying your weight,” said Madox leadingly. Meaning that if I stopped, so would the politeness.
“So are there any quests available,” I asked.
“There are plenty of quests, and we all do the same stuff,” said Fizzy. “I mean, there are the occasional personality conflicts here and there, but overall we have other things to worry about and you never know when you are going to have to pair up with someone so it's not worth it.”
“If you are a jerk, they might even pair you with Heywood,” said Aria, then she glanced at me.
“You slept with him,” said Fizzy.
“I slept with Max,” replied Aria.
“You also slept with Heywood,” said Fizzy.
“That's because I hoped he might suck less,” said Aria. “Or more, I hear some humans are into that.”
“Gross,” said Madox, eyeing me and scratching his beard.
“Anyway, my efforts to trick Heywood into being less incompetent failed and I moved on,” said Aria.
“On to the next human,” said Misel.
Aria grinned. “And now I have the whole set again, Vicky will be upset.”
“Victoria,” I asked.
“No Vicilatious, the elven thin blade fighter?” said Aria looking confused. “Victoria sounds made up.”
“Might be a human name,” said Fizzy tapping her finger on her chin. “I’ll have to check.”
The room was filling up as every mortal tier adventure showed up and started getting food. Apparently quests were given out in the morning, but adventurers as a whole stayed up late and drank with abandon.
My kind of people.
Shade was enjoying hunks of deer and chunks of deer, as well as a vegetable stew that was specifically formulated for companions who were doats. I didn’t know if that worked but I ordered him to eat at least some of it, and my good boy tried.
“That isn’t terrible,” said Shade.
“You have to eat some plants or you will regret it later. Think of it more as clearing space for the future so you can eat more good stuff,” I said.
Shade nodded, “I do not know, I like the more tasty stuff later, but for now this is yucky.”
“I guess I’ll go looking for some dog food,” I said. “But that means less steak.”
Shade glanced down and started devouring the companion chow. “It's great, so delicious.” He lied. I let it pass as long as he was eating the nutritious stuff with the tasty stuff. I didn’t want my doggo to get a tummy ache.
I tried a blue pepper, a green pepper, a teal pepper, and a polka dot pepper. The green pepper was close to a bell pepper, if you squinted and ate it with something else. The other peppers were likewise not bad, just different flavors of pepper. The polka dot one was actually really close to a red pepper.
They had something like a purple carrot, which I realized was an actual color of natural carrots but it didn’t taste like a carrot. It tasted like butternut squash. They had a tuber that was basically a potato, but it grew from a tree root. I asked.
“Think they could cut this up and cook it with butter,” I said.
Madox looked at me like I had a second head, “I guess, I’ve never seen anyone eat one willingly before. They taste terrible. You could ask the halfling behind the counter. He might do it, he’s nuts.”
I stood up and walked over to explain the situation.
“Are you nuts,” said the halfling. “You want me to chop up a tuber?”
“It’s called home fries, they are really good, but you need to use lots of butter,” I said. The halfling shrugged and chopped up several fresh tubers and used an epic amount of butter. I waited several minutes while he finished and he handed me the plate, holding about a third of it back.
I returned with the plate, tossing a bite to Shade. He snatched it out of the air triumphantly. Madox frowned and glared at me.
“I’m not going to lose to a mutant,’ said the dwarf, so I threw him a bite. He chomped down and paused. “Wait, this isn’t half bad.”
“They are a human favorite,” I replied as Madox washed it down with a green drink.
“What is that,” I asked.
Madox glanced at his cup, “Beetle juice.”
“Beetle juice?”
“Beetle juice,” replied Madox as an elf in a black and white striped shirt walked behind us.
I sat the plate down at the table and Fizzy and Misel both used a fork to grab a bite. Fizze looked introspective, and Misel smiled.
“This is really pretty good,” said Fizzy.
“Do you not eat these?” I asked.
“Tubies? No, they are poor people's food, no one really eats them if they can avoid it,” said Misel. “Elves grow them as a byproduct and they are handed out to those who can’t, or won’t work.”
“I’ve never even tried one,” said Aria, picking up a bite with her chopsticks. “My rich and powerful ancestors are crying.” She popped it into her mouth and started chewing.
“So,” I asked after several seconds.
“By the goddess this is delicious,” she said, grabbing a second bite. As she did, several elves goggled at her, and one elf larger male elf walked over. I recognized him as the pit boss that Misel defeated. He surveyed the table, nodding at Misel and dismissing me.
“You’re eating tubies now,” he asked.
“Quatax, you must try this, it is tremendous,” said Aria, holding up a bite on her chopsticks. The elf considered it for a moment, but reached over and took a bite. He chewed for several seconds, a look of incredulity washing over him.
“This is really good,” Quatax said.
“Max knew the recipe,” said Fizzy. Quatax looked over at me, reevaluating. Then he licked his lips slightly and looked back at the plate of homefries.
“It was Heywoods recipe?” I said. Then the elf was gone, demanding some Heywood’s Tubies at the counter. Three other elves walked over to my oversized plate and took a piece, then went to the counter.
“They aren’t that good,” I said reaching over for another, but Aria was defending the plate by that point. She blocked me before putting down her chopsticks and was picking up the hot little tubers and devouring them. Everyone was staring.
“Don't judge me, they used butter and lunch is vegan.”
“Are elves vegan?” I asked.
“Not all of them,” said Fizzy as Aria continued gobbling the home fries.
“Mainly the long ears,” said Madox as he used a fork to cunningly sneak a bite.
“That's racist, but also accurate,” said Aria as she came up to breath before immediately going back to town.
“What Madox meant to say was that the older, more… uh… prestige concerned elves harken back to the days where elves were one with nature,” said Fizzy critically.
“Which is bull because nature eats meat,” said Aria as she eyed some of my bacon and then the home fries. She grabbed some and ate both in the same bite, shuddering slightly.
“That is true,” said Misel, “but the more well bred elves tend to think about things irrationally.”
“Which is why none of the long ears are adventurers,” said Madox, daring anyone to challenge him. None of the women did. I couldn’t.
I suddenly realized why the rampant, baked in elven racism was much less prevalent here. The adventurer's guild was literally made up of the elven misfits who didn’t really care very much about racial purity. By accident or design, I ran into the least racist part of town.
Not non-racist. That was still baked in, but at least here I had a shot.
Fizzy shrugged, “The higher echelons of elven society do not bother to consort with their lessers, leaving that to their lowliest brethren,” said Fizzy.
“That’s the King’s fault,” said Madox quietly. “He is not fond of anyone but elves, doesn’t think that we are cultured enough.”
“But you are cultured enough for us,” said Misel, smiling at Aria who was still double fisting home fries with her cheeks bulging. She grabbed Madox’s cup full of beetle juice and drank the whole thing in one pull, then belched so loudly the burp echoed through the hall.
Then I heard another.
I glanced around and many of the nearby tables had elves scarfing down huge portions of homefries, and virtually the entirety of the breakfast had been ignored in favor of this new treat for the elves. There was no polite way to eat them and actually get any. Elves were fighting over the fries.
Gulwing stormed out from behind the quest board as someone went flying. He scanned the room, spotting the perpetrators. “I don’t know what’s going on but everyone quit it!”
“It's Heywood’s fault,” said an elf, shaking himself as he stood up covered in butter.
“He’s Max now, and I don’t see what he could possibly have done,” said Gulwing as he spotted an elf hoarding her fries. He snatched one and tossed it into his disapproving mouth. He chewed three times his anger vanishing into wonder.
“Vicky still has some!”
Aria quickly tossed the last bite into her mouth and looked around, eyeing other tables where Vicky the swordmistress was preparing a desperate defense. Gulwing was leading a band of miscreants towards her even as she sprung ontop of a table, tray in hand, and began dashing off into the distance. Every non elf was moving out of position, unwilling to die in defense of home fries. Fizzy snapped her fingers at Aria.
“Focus, they will be posting quests soon, Max provided a distraction that will keep at least half the floor busy,” said Misel. Aria looked dubious.
“We can use the quest rewards to make more Heywoods,” said Fizzy.
Aria looked at me hungrily, and not in the good way. “Yeah. Yeah that sounds… tasty, and I could use a snack.”
“I need an adult,” I said.
“I could try to distract her,” offered Shade.
“How,” I asked.
Shade considered that, “Like back at the apartment? She might slip and fall.”
“They won't let you back here if you do that,” I replied.
“You are doomed,” said Shade.
Madox looked at Aria carefully, “Let's go, now that you don't suck the quest board should be more fun.” Everyone carefully edged away from the table as Aria judged which plates of Heywood's she could go after.
I held out my hand, which had one piece of tubie still on it. Aria blurred towards me, sucking the piece off my palm then licking it to get the remaining butter off. It could have been sexy, but it felt more like putting my hand in the mouth of a crocodile.
Still, Aria suddenly realized what she'd done and that shook her out of her Heywood fugue. She glanced around once more and sighed, “Okay, quest board.”
The adventurer's guild was not stupid. They put the main quest board directly adjacent to the adventurer's dining hall and when we got there nearly every non-elf was already waiting. All of the elves in attendance were looking back over to the dining hall where the halfling chef had a signup reading they were out of tubies but would have a large order in for lunch. Gulwing and several other elves were dripping with butter after their failed efforts to get more Heywoods directly out of the friers.
The aura of desperation was palpable.
I stared at the large slate of stone and waited as Mark, the Wizard, stepped out. He looked not much worse for wear considering what he'd been involved in last night. Gulwing walked over to him.
“Before we put up the quests, I would like to talk about last night,” said Gulwing, glaring at everyone. “As you know, there was a bit of a brawl because someone attacked the host of hospitality.”
Gulwing looked around carefully, examining each and every one of us. Many of the adventures were battered and bruised. Some would require healing before they could go out on a quest. The old elf took all of that in and continued.
“Your teamwork needs work, there were a lot of points where we squandered some easy hits because we didn't have our coordination down,” stated Gulwing. “Aside from that I'm very proud of you all. We stick together. To the host.”
“To the host,” all the elves said and everyone else mumbled. Fizzy looked over at me and shrugged.
“I'd have let it pass, but when in Dominus,” said Fizzy. I'd have been upset, but clearly that was the smart thing to have done especially considering I'd lived.
“Anyway,” said Mark, the Wizard, “Those of you who were most responsible for the brawl should probably be looking at the most distant quests.” With that he stepped aside and the board filled up with quest notices. Some adventurers went right up to the slate and started reading, others like Fizzy and Madox pulled out slates and started reading personalized copies.
As I watched quest after quest vanished. I was reading the board, trying to pick one before all the good ones disappeared. Each quest had its own little map so you could figure out where it was in relation to Dominus.
My mapper started warming up and I could feel some sort of connection between it and the board. While that was handy, even better it updated my local dominion map while highlighting quests out in the countryside.
The guild had quests all over the place and for a variety of reasons. Madox snatched up a solo quest where he not only needed to kill off a group of monsters attacking a town, but afterward he was expected to assist them in improving their fortifications. Misel took one exploring a local dungeon for a later clearing by a whole team.
“So what is the guild’s main purpose,” I asked rhetorically as I examined the board.
“Easy,” replied Fizzy. “We kill monsters, and by killing monsters we keep people safe.”
That was something I could get behind.
Each of those quests had a series of symbols next to it. Madox's had a sword and a hammer, indicating monster attacks followed by rebuilding. Misel's was a shaded eye which indicated a stealth mission. Fizzy grabbed a quest featuring a magic wand that was about balancing an arcane field in the middle of a nearby forest.
I still hadn't picked one. I spotted several that were just monster slaying quests, but those paid the least and while I had gold, I didn't have as much as I'd like for my vacation. I wanted one hard job followed by lounging on a beach.
“I'm surprised you aren't taking a two man quest,” said Aria as she picked an aggressive scouting mission to find and kill a small monster lair.
“Don't those require two people,” I asked. She glanced down at Shade.
“I mean, it's the biggest advantage of a companion core,” said Aria. “I'd go with you, but the pay is terrible if split, but great if one person gets all of it.”
“I'd have to share with Shade,” I said, but she was right. When I started looking at the group quests, they did pay a lot better.
“I work for treats,” said Shade. “Besides, we are not going to be able to rest properly without working hard first!”
I picked one of the medium paying two person jobs, figuring that money was probably linked to difficulty. The pay wasn't twice as much as the one person combat quests, but it was close enough that it would do.
“Where did you pick,” said Aria.
“I'm going to the Gnarly forest, Dude,” I said.
Her eyebrows raised. “Dude?”
Comments
ANTHONY ZBIKOWSKI
I wonder what the chimeral variant of a hog in in this world. Just wait until biscits and sausage gravy becomes a thing. It's not even done right on Earth. Yankees and Midwesterners generally still get it wrong (the biscuits suck), Brits think that it's cookies and brown gravy, but best of all it pairs with homefries and eggs. Nearly as game changing as homefried tubies. I'm trying to imagine an Isekai plot line that involves barbecue. It could be the Great Barbeque War. Eastern Carolina vs Western Carolina vs South Carolina vs Memphis vs Eastern Tennesee vs Central Texas vs East Texas vs South Texas. Alabama is suspect due to the white sauce. Kentucky uses mutton and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Jmc mc
As an avid fry... tubies enthusiast I can confirm this would be the reaction and is the most sig ificant invention an isekai protag can bring to the table. Electricity? Whats that? hand me some more of those grease sticks please
