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21) House of Cards (Interlude)
🕑 Added 2023-12-01 19:37:35 +0000 UTC31st August 1996 (Saturday)
Nathaniel Dixon (POV)
“... Remember the Spaghetti Western Santino made about, what? 20 years ago? Yeah well, it’s one of those outliers probably, but Home Video Sales just experienced an unexpected surge.”
“Hold on, that western with the whatsit? Th-the revisionist themes?” I asked.
“Yeah, the very same. I mean, we had opened a branch in Italy, that production studio in Rome, if you remember. We wanted to win a few Donatello awards, to establish some… legitimacy. Then Santino’s proposal fell in our lap, so we gave it the green light.” Grover elaborated.
“Yeah, I remember, but that fell through pretty quickly didn’t it? Apparently the movie’s… explicit rating generated heaps of controversy, dividing the critics that year. So how did the VHS sales skyrocket? I mean, just look at this,” I said, as I passed on the financial report for the past quarter, “Our cash flow became red half-way through cause ‘Rancid Ford’ was a miss, big time. But then, 23k copies of ‘Calabrian Crossfire’ sold like hotcakes in Europe. What changed Grover? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy, but I want to know why I am happy, you get me?”
“Yeah I get you Nathan. Bu-, that’s what I’m trying to tell you! You see, Santino made this historical epic last year, under Clayton. You know that right?”
I nodded in acknowledgement, and he continued.
“Yeah well, it was so good apparently, that they started parading him around as a genius. So some of the movies he made in the past, went through a critical reassessment. Next thing you know? Variety and Deadline Hollywood are raving about ‘Calabrian Crossfire’. And somehow… don’t ask me how, I don’t know. But somehow… it got cult status.”
…
A tense moment followed, which I broke, saying what was on both our minds.
“What the fuck?!”
“... I know, right?”
“How the fuck did this even happen? It was 20 goddamn years ago! We had pulled the plug on marketing years ago!”
“I don’t know what to tell you Nathan. I got nothing!” Yeah I could see that you dumbfuck. You’ve always got nothing.
Sigh. This was good though, we needed a win. After ‘Midnight Mirage’ flopped hard a month ago, we needed a win. And now the Winter box office season is coming up.
“Okay, you know what? Grover, forget it, it happened, we sold some VHS tapes, good. Let’s end this here. Now, you got an update regarding ‘Crimson Veil’?”
“Crimson Veil… we’re releasing that a week before Halloween right? Yeah, no it’s going good. Well mostly. I mean the marketing’s going strong, we aired the trailer in cinemas, and we have good engagement with uh… Bluefield's fan base. I mean, it’s like the 2nd adaptation of one his books, and he has involved himself thoroughly in promotional events.”
“Hmmm, that’s good. Yeah, that-that’s good. Now, you said mostly, are you telling me Crenshaw is still feuding with his co-star? I thought they settled it? It was all over Vanity Fair last I heard.”
“...Unfortunately no. They played good in front of the press, but Lars still slept with Crenshaw’s ex, and you know Crenshaw, he’s hot headed, he ain’t forgetting this anytime soon. So yeah, they’ve been uncooperative sometimes, but that’s barely a blip on the radar. They don’t disrupt the shoot. I was… actually talking about something else.”
“What?”
“Well, you know for a fact that Hans Kotton didn’t really like the ending, he thinks it doesn’t fit with the tone. Well, he kinda went off script in an interview, and talked about studio interference, about how we’re forcing him to shoot the open ending, cause we are greedy motherfuckers who want a sequel. Bluefield supported him. So… yeah, we got some fan backlash.” Said Grover, his eyes swiveling all over the place, but never meeting mine.
Deep breaths Nathan, deep breaths.
“Ok, and how’re we handling that? You know this is above my paygrade right? Tell me you went to Olga.”
“I did! And she intervened, she freed up some money, and now they’re doing a re-shoot, so fans are happy, Kotton is happy, Bluefield was snorting cocaine last I saw him. They’re doing great.”
“That’s good. Great, just one little thing. I have read the book, I know for a fact that the ending will require almost the entire ensemble, and will use visual effects heavily. Grover, what is the inflated budget?” Got ya motherfucker! Ah, look at you, sweating like a fucking swine!
How bad can it be?
“$65 million.”
…
“65?”
“Yes.”
…
Sigh.
“65 MOTHERFUCKING MILLIONS?! FOR A GODDAMN HORROR FLICK?”
“Wait! Calm! Calm down man, relax! Olga will take the fall okay? She will take the fall if it doesn’t work, no sweat off your back, you hear?”
It took a minute to calm down. Damn it, now Travers is gonna be on my case.
He’s a damn good doctor, I would’ve died of high blood pressure years ago if not for him, but he doesn’t understand how stressful it all is.
Being the ‘Head of Production’ at Paramount that is.
I have a fucking job to do, and Olga that bitch isn’t making it easier for me. She was supposed to be a fucking diversity hire, to appease the leftists, with all of their… feminism crap.
Then she got this franchise, Eternal Nightfall.
4 fucking movies, a combined total gross of $1.7 billion. All of a sudden, I get passed over, and she becomes the ‘Chief Creative Officer’.
It’s been 2 years since that day, and every single time I look at her fat, ugly ass face…
Sigh, Travers is gonna have my head.
“Grover, if this goes in the pit, Olga better take the fall. She went over me, you understand? If Graeme asks, I knew nothing about the reshoots, until it was too fucking late. Are you understanding the words that are coming out of my mouth?”
He nodded, quickly like his job was on the line.
Well technically… it kinda was.
“Nathan, but… what if it’s a success? Even with the inflated budget, and talent participation costs, it’s being shot in Mississippi. They’ve managed to get tax incentives worth $8 million, and the break-even is set at $160 million.”
“It’s a vampire slasher adaptation of a fan-favorite book releasing a week before Halloween. I checked the projections Nathan, it’s a Grand Slam Home Run! I don’t get why you’re talking about it like it’s gonna fail. I mean, you saw the projections right? We’re well on our way to turn in a tidy profit! Hell, Olga just talked with Kotton and Earl, the screenwriter, about a sequel.”
…
“Nathan, is there anything you know?”
“No Grover, I don’t know shit. I don’t have a stargate in my bedroom. I can’t travel through time, I don’t know whether it’s gonna fail… or succeed, you know me. I’m half stoned right now, and paranoid as hell. I was just… covering my base, you get it right?”
After a second of silence, he nodded hesitantly, finally realizing the fact that the matter was above his pay grade.
Good little boy.
He was just about to leave when I called out.
“Grover!”
“Yes Sir?”
“Not a word of this to Olga. The movie will… succeed. Right?”
He nodded, getting the message, before disappearing out the door.
*Snort*
Fools. The lot of them. Complete and utter idiots.
Not that I blame them in the least.
Olga had got the hot hands fallacy, and everyone exceeded all expectations, by actually buying into it. 2 years of success, and they believe the momentum alone will make this a success. Naive fools that they are.
Not a small amount by any means.
The production was always a house of cards, all it needed was a stone thrown at its base, and it was bound to come crumbling down.
But this time, it’ll crumble on Olga’s head, and Graeme, our dear CEO will not hold me responsible in the slightest.
And why would I hold such thoughts, you ask?
Sigh.
Ambrose. That tricky little bastard. He was always reliable, at least when he was out and about on the frontlines, producing at the very minimum 2 films a year.
His record was near legendary, 14 movies, every single one striking gold at the box office, released consecutively over a period of 8 years.
Too bad, the expectations had set in, and when he finally had 3 consecutive flops, those idiots dismissed him, ‘old news’ they called him.
But what did he do? He exceeded all expectations and came out of his slump, going toe to toe with Universal for 4 fucking years, and actually prevailing. His actions that decade laid down the foundation for Stirling Studios.
Let’s see, Warner Bros, Universal, Paramount, Columbia, and Clayton. The ‘Big Five’ they’re called. They’re responsible for nearly every single major blockbuster released every summer.
Even among the ‘Big Five’, Paramount and Warner Bros are old money. We’ve been there from the very start, from the time the first talkies hit the Silver Screens in the mid-20s.
I myself have worked my way up from a goddamn intern at Universal, before shifting here to become the Head of Productions. I’m a veteran of the industry, having dedicated nearly 40 years of my life, slogging away in the city of angels, and in all my time, I’ve never met a man like Stirling.
I mean, the sheer balls on that man, to actually launch an acquisition of one of the original ‘7 Majors’, just gobbling up MGM like that, and gaining a foothold in the distribution sector.
He spent the next decade consolidating his position by breaking into the Independent cinema market, releasing commercially successful movies with artistic appeal, all the while competing with Miramax every step of the way.
And then his deal with Cinemax followed…
Point is, in all my years… I have grown to hate that man, but at the same time, be cautious of his every goddamn move.
So to hear about his genius of a son, the kid releasing critically acclaimed novels every goddamn year like it’s a fucking clearance sale… oh I could see them. The red flags, the warning signs, I could see them.
And just a month ago, I heard about how his son had created a horror film that opened to rave reviews at Comic-Con, and that was it.
The final nail in the coffin.
Whenever summer box-office season came, Stirling Studios never attempted to compete with us, no they almost always collaborated with Clayton. That’s because they specialize in mid-budget off-season releases.
And when I heard that this movie was about to be released on Halloween… well, thank god I washed my hands off Bluefield's blasted adaptation.
As far as I’m concerned, Olga, that bitch, needs to be brought down a peg or two, and oh how I’ll enjoy the look on her face, when I talk to the Board about her not so little goof up, when her decisions inevitably come back to haunt her at All Hallows Eve..
Hmm, you know what, it’s only 2 months from now… should I?
No.
Or maybe… Yes?
Ah screw it, I’ll set a reminder, gotta focus on Calabrian Crossfire for now.
Probably gotta call NBC to renegotiate the television contract.
Comments
David Karlsson
No chapters lately?
Scott
God damn do I love this story, keep them chapters coming man, I'm like a junkie needing a fix, lol.
