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Valetines Story Rough Draft
🕑 Added 2020-02-15 22:36:58 +0000 UTCSo I'm writing a story about my OCs Karen and Melissa, its my first time trying to write, and this is what I have so far as a super rough draft. It's far from finished. Also I know there's ton of grammatical mistakes, but give it a read, and I assure you there's more to the story!
(P.s. admittedly I'm reading through it now and I'm seeing a ton of mistakes, so I'll be proofreading and moving on. So the final version might be super different from what you read now) tell me your thoughts.
Comments
whiteglint
In response to the comment on perfect Analysis and summation I put a spoiler warning ⚠️
whiteglint
Looking forward to more in the future 😄
SM
Perfect anylsis and summation my dude!
whiteglint
All in all well done on this first story , yes there are some phrases that can use some cleaning but the plot itself is quite riveting
whiteglint
Good to know 👍😊
SM
Don't worry my dude, the story is a bit longer and gets really juicy and intimate in the romance department.
whiteglint
Can’t wait to see the whole story SM , I got a feeling that this pilot chapter has manga MC confession levels of plot development in store.
whiteglint
Imagine your significant other not wanting to touch you after an accident. It would likely leave some deep emotional wounds. And with little communication between the two with Melissa being couped up in her lab , it only makes the rift between the two larger
whiteglint
Personally I can’t fault Melissa for thinking this , but the hesitation to touch Karen must hurt her more than she realizes as well
whiteglint
I can’t help but like the way Melissa’s guilt is portrayed here. It comes from a place of logic and reality that is is at least partially right . More than causing the accident, she appears to be afraid of the consequences of Karen’s and alexia’s powers (government targeting) and fearing that she may have caused them to lose their humanity .
whiteglint
WARNING MAJOUR SPOILERS AHEAD !!! A miscalculation on Melissa’s part that causes a fire that gave powers to Karen and alexia . Knowledge of the dark underbelly of government led science and deep emotional attachment.
