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Chapter 111
🕑 Added 2023-10-16 14:26:26 +0000 UTCBig Time Hoops, Merder Stadium, Atlanta - 8:10 AM
To my surprise, neither Best In Show or BYOB came straight for me. Not for lack of trying, though, but because at the moment they were utterly incapable of it.
Robert, the Shield Champion, had tried to save Olivia and Ava from Bill’s cannon fire and the entire team had been blown apart. Luckily, it wasn’t messy since they simply disappeared, but there was a huge patch of missing grass next to their disc.
BYOB had a different problem that involved a lot of yelling, and I saw Dave and Grey start to swap gear while Ben ran around, trying to figure out what direction he needed to go first.
If I had to wager a guess, I assumed the duo had swapped classes from their Wheel of Chaos results. The Mobile Opportunist took up the Handyman’s tool belt while giving up his sword and gun, which I noted with great satisfaction were not the same ones I had broken yesterday. He had to get brand new weapons, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
On the other side of the arena, Bill saluted me. I pulled out a bottle of water from my inventory and raised it to toast him before he got back to work preparing his next shot. Team Trouser Snake wasn’t wasting any time and both Daniel and James, their Blasphemous Priest, were already to the wall.
Tossing the water bottle back into my inventory, I glanced to the part of the wall closest to me. Less than twenty seconds after the match started, beetles began emerging as we were promised.
The insects were pitch black and shiny, appearing to be made of the same material that they spawned from. They were much bigger than regular beetles, about the size of a corgi, and they scuttled around the arena in random patterns though they always moved to avoid the players.
Each one held a single black ball about as big around as a basketball on their backs. I knew from experience that these were incredibly dense and heavy for their size. While I never had reason to bring a scale into the arena, I would wager that they were somewhere around 50 or 60 pounds. It was meant to be difficult to get them up into the basket, but when people had Strength scores so many times higher than the average person it was doable.
As BYOB finally seemed to settle into their roles, I watched as Dave instructed Grey on how best to construct something to get them up to the baskets for easy goals. Several pieces of plywood had been laid out and Grey was doing his best. His speed was still far above average even without knowing what he was doing thanks to the Handyman’s abilities, but every moment that Dave was stuck helping him was a moment they weren’t attempting to score.
I chuckled as I saw Ben grab a ball and brought it back to the group. He set it down and started running for another one, but the beetle he stole from retrieved it when no one was looking and ran off.
The cannon went off again and dirt showered the arena. A quick glance showed me that Best In Show had returned, but Ava had conjured a wall to protect them before Team Trouser Snake could fire. With the cannon out of commission until it reloaded, Olivia and Robert started to chase after their own beetles while their Conjurer added to the wall to make a large staircase.
Behind me, in the crowd, I heard shouts asking what the hell I thought I was doing. I twisted in my chair to get a good look at them and gave them a thumbs up.
“Nothing to worry about, citizens!” I yelled, though only those closest to me could probably hear. “The Warmonger will move when he is ready!”
[[Patron Message]]
… That James fellow on TTS is really starting to irritate me. Who does he think he is? I mean, really now; his class may be Blasphemous Priest but this is not okay.
I don’t think you should associate with him.
Sincerely,
Sara
James, who was Team Trouser Snake’s healer, was currently the one getting points for their group. Daniel would bring the balls, pass them off, and the priest would fly up and down with a pair of Angelic wings jutting out of his lower back in order to score. An Angel certainly would find that blasphemous, but he was just living up to his class.
“Sorry, but he’s kind of necessary right now,” I said, trying not to let my amusement show. “Besides, isn’t that kind of what I’m doing?”
[[Patron Message]]
Of course not. You becoming a Half-Angel and this man creating a mockery of our form are two separate things. In fact, wait just one moment.
Sincerely,
Sara
“Waiting,” I said as I twiddled my thumbs.
[[Patron Quest: Remove the Blasphemous Priest!]]
Anthony, this man is stealing the powers of Heaven and taking what he was not freely given. This is an atrocity, and one that I pray you are willing to clean up. I understand that you have a temporary ceasefire with them, but they must be gone as soon as possible after BYOB and Best In Show.
I’m sorry that I may seem angry, but as I said, I am absolutely nettled by this man’s mockery of us.
Objective: Please remove the team James is a part of in the third round.
Reward: 1,500 points, a feather.
I tilted my head as I read through the new quest, but accepted it. “Wow, that really is getting under your skin, isn’t it?” I asked before adding, “You don’t have to answer that. I’ll take care of it.”
The reward also got my attention. 1,500 points was more than I got for defeating Amlex, though that was back when we were still bound by the first scenario limits, and Watermelon Walter. If she could give such a large amount out, then it really must have aligned with her beliefs as a Patron. I wasn’t going to say no to something that my girlfriend wanted me to do if she wanted it this badly. It wasn’t like she was telling me to actually kill them, after all, just make sure they left the game as soon as possible.
The thought of getting a feather also intrigued me. Did she mean one of her feathers? A magic item? I had no idea, and with my curiosity piqued, I looked up to see the field.
Best In Show had already started scoring points using Ava’s conjured creation, and Grey just finished building a ramp that managed to come up just a little bit short of the lowest baskets. The sound of gunfire caught my attention, and I raised an eyebrow at BYOB’s spawn point.
Dave was pointing his pistol at me, holding it in one hand, and missing terribly. It became immediately obvious that he had never fired a gun before, and I didn’t even bother throwing up a Shield or Force Field.
He unloaded it, and some of the bullets managed to hit the ground near me, but otherwise it wasn’t even close. Grey jumped down from his ramp, slapped Dave on the back of his head, took the gun from him, and yelled something I couldn’t hear from this distance.
Glancing up at the giant televisions that ringed the now-closed dome of Merder Stadium, I saw that I had half a minute left to go before my scoring restriction was lifted. My mask also lit up the screen as an invisible camera above me zoomed in, and I waved to my adoring fans.
“Alright, time to get to work,” I said as I stood up and stretched. My back cracked nicely and, despite being a little fatigued, I was feeling good.
Grabbing the chair, I threw it into my inventory before pulling out Vermon’s Smash Stick. I swung it around a few times to get a good feel for my new Dexterity score. I was slow, but still powerful due to my Strength stat being higher than it had just minutes ago.
Once I was sure where I was physically, I activated Shield and started running towards BYOB, alternating between green squares to make sure I wasn’t injured by the ground.
The team had finally begun to make goals as Ben and Dave started grabbing balls for Grey, who now had very little in the way of combat abilities, to score for the team. I paid careful attention to that, as he had to throw the ball up to get it into the basket.
The substitute Handyman ran up and down the ramp, though it didn’t look like he was getting winded despite carrying those heavy balls. It seemed like he might have increased his Constitution after I threw him at that boulder. Good on him.
While I ran, which was faster than a normal human but still much slower than I was used to, I put my plan into action. There was one simple thing I could do that would allow me to insure a team wouldn’t make it through any rounds I didn’t want them to. I had made sure to obscure the true power of my Warmind abilities in the first round for a reason, instead opting to use it to augment my javelin throws and broomstick. Even against Branson’s men, I’m sure the Bard had no idea what I was doing to mess with her.
I grinned and slowed to a walk. The clock ticked over to two minutes, and I got to work. Whenever Grey tossed a ball up into the basket, I enthusiastically Dropped it in for him. If it looked like it was going to go over completely, I Dropped it in for him. If it teetered on the edge, I Dropped it in for him.
Glancing back up at the screens, I nodded to myself as my score started to increase while BYOB’s ground to a halt. The trio was too busy to notice as they kept moving, grabbing balls and passing them off to get thrown into the basket. I was within twenty feet before I finally stopped and crossed my arms. Grey finally got a moment and he looked up to see the scores.
“What the shit?” he exclaimed as he saw I was leading by a few points. The man looked back to where I had teleported in, and his gaze naturally fell on me when he saw I was missing. “Fuck! Warmonger’s here! Ben, get him!”
“Oh, I get Ben, that’s nice,” I said as I began walking towards the hastily built ramp.
Out of the two fighters on BYOB, Ben was leagues better in a one on one fight. The team had won the battle royale thanks to the Barroom Brawler’s skills in the ring and Dave trapping their foes in with him with his Fortnite-style building. Grey had taken to the outskirts of the building, hunting anyone attempting to scout it out or get inside.
When their frontline fighter rounded the ramp and walked straight towards me, I was a little apprehensive due to my low Dexterity but didn’t let it show in my body language. Instead, I raised my hand. “Howdy, Ben,” I said amicably. “Lovely weather we’re having today in this climate controlled dome.”
“I’ve been waiting to knock the shit out of you for what you did to Dave and Grey,” he said, stopping only inches away from me. His physique reminded me a lot of Arnold’s, though Ben wasn’t nearly as tall. The chain mail he wore shone in the light, and his oversized black gauntlets looked menacing. Those were very dangerous.
“Well, it was necessary, you know,” I said, shrugging. “So was breaking Grey’s stuff. Had to do it.”
“Asshole!” Grey yelled down from on top of the ramp. I glanced up at him, taking my eyes off of Ben, in time to Drop the next shot and steal their points.
“Necessary, sure,” Ben replied. “You may have pulled one over on us in the first round, but I owe you for that javelin, too.”
“You sure do. That javelin in your leg cost me ten points. I’d like it back at your earliest convenience,” I quipped.
Ben narrowed his eyes. “You sure like to hear yourself talk, don’t you?”
“I do, quite a lot,” I confirmed. My gaze shifted, Dropping in another ball, before returning to Ben.
“Almost as much as I’d like to rip that mask off of your face and knock your teeth out. See how much you like talking then.”
“Wow, what a threat!” I said, holding up a hand to my face as if to cover my mouth. I Dropped another ball in for Grey. “I think you may want to do that just as much as you’d like to stall me because you think I’m not gaining any points. That is what you’re doing, right? Stalling? Because, well…” I pointed up towards the television screens above us.
The Barroom Brawler hesitated, but looked up to see the scores. While I hadn’t yet made enough to beat Best In Show or Team Trouser Snake, who was currently in the lead, I had overtaken BYOB. Ben looked down at me and snarled. “How the fuck are you doing that?”
“Meow,” was all I replied before going on the offensive.
I reached for him as quickly as my low Dexterity score would allow, but Ben’s instincts were too good. He popped me in the chest with a quick jab and backed away just as I was about to grab his armor. My Shield flared up, but it didn’t take much damage from the probing strike. The Barroom Brawler was just out of reach before he danced back in.
While his instincts were good and his skills were clearly honed, and I estimated his Dexterity to be somewhere in the mid forties which gave him the speed advantage, I was still better. Jabbing twice with my left, which he blocked while getting into position, I followed it up by swinging the Smash Stick with my right. Ben was wary of it from the outset, and ducked under the attack and went for my kidney.
The Shield took the attack for me, though this one was more powerful and it began to shimmer. Leaning away from the Barroom Brawler, I mentally commanded the Vambrace of Wires to start ejecting its rope. I made it seem like I was trying to get him on the back swing and he ducked again. The rope swung over Ben’s head before reaching out and wrapping around his wrist.
I might have been afflicted by a poor Dexterity stat, but the Cable Conglomerate wasn’t.
Ben immediately tried to back away, but I coiled the rope around his arm tightly all the way to his shoulder and pulled him back in. We were locked wrist to wrist, and I dropped Vermon’s Smash Stick only to Pull it into my free hand.
“Let go of me, you freak!” he yelled.
“Death first!” I gleefully yelled back before I lifted my arm.
Even though he was larger than I was, I managed to get him off of the ground with the help of the Cable Conglomerate. He braced himself by grabbing my arm with his free hand and started kicking me. The Shield continued to take the brunt of his attacks, but it would only be a matter of time until he either broke through or someone else from BYOB came to help.
I swung Ben into the nearest pole, causing him to cry out in pain, before giving the rope some slack. Spinning the other way, he managed to maintain his grip on my arm but could no longer kick me and I slammed his back into the same pole. I was enjoying my increased Strength.
One more good strike like that and he finally let go of my arm. During the next spin I gave him enough slack to miss the pole completely. The momentum had him spinning around it, and I shifted the individual cables so that he was completely tied up before severing the rope and pulling in what remained. Taking the Smash Stick in both hands, I slammed it into one of his gauntlets, shattering it.
“Just kill me, already!” Ben yelled as he attempted to break free. The wire rope was holding tight and the pole was just fine despite how many times I used the Barroom Brawler to strike it.
“Kill you? Why would I do that?” I asked before breaking his other gauntlet, causing him to yell out again. I reached up and placed my hand on his shoulder. “If you die, you could just respawn. Trust me, this way is much simpler for the thirty or so seconds you have left before losing.”
I looked back towards BYOB’s ramp in time to Drop another one into the basket. Screaming alerted me to an attack from the side, and I turned to see Dave running towards me. The pistol he had before was nowhere to be seen, and he held a simple straight sword Grey had gotten to replace his nice one I had broke. Just as he raised his sword to strike me, I activated Force Field.
Dave ran face first into it, dropping the blade to clutch at his now bleeding nose. Ben started yelling about helping Grey, but I tuned him out as I stalked towards the enemy in a zigzag motion to avoid the black squares.
“We didn’t have a chance to talk yet, Dave,” I said, chuckling. “How’s the head? Aren’t you glad I saved you from getting thrown off a mountain? A thank you would be sufficient, I feel.”
“Why do you have to be so damn creepy?” Dave asked, leaning against the Force Field as he reached down to grab the sword.
I dropped the Force Field, causing him to stumble. As a Handyman, Dave was great, but as a fighter he left a lot to be desired. I grabbed him by the arm and smashed the sword with my club before pivoting. He got dragged with me and I threw him at the ramp Grey had built. The construction shuddered before collapsing on top of the human projectile.
Yawning, I looked up at the clock to see that there were only ten seconds left before the first round was over. Ben still struggled, and Grey was shooting me piercing glares while attempting to help Dave out of his plywood prison. “Five, four, three, two, and better luck next time!” I called cheerfully, waving as the members of BYOB disappeared from sight.
[[Notice]]
The following teams have been removed from Big Time Hoops.
Section 1: BYOB
Section 2: Sherwood Forest Knaves
Section 3: The Thunderstealers
Section 4: Tag Team Champions
Points have been reset but will count towards your final tally.
I began walking towards my next target, Best In Show, just as Bill fired again, and not everything was as it seemed.
