nekonyamicon
patreon
Chapter 139 - For the Record
🕑 Added 2024-05-17 01:43:16 +0000 UTCShe stares slack-jawed for a moment before answering.
“That… that shouldn’t have happened.”
“Well, obviously,” I retort. “She’s supposed to be here, and she’s not. So?”
It vaguely occurs to me that the only person present that doesn’t look surprised is my fox wife… but I don’t have time to deal with that right now, I’ve got much more important things.
Eris continues looking confused for a moment, before muttering, “She should have been immediately sucked into… her… vessel?”
…
“Wait! Did you not prepare a vessel for her!?”
…
Is this my fault?
“What do you mean, ‘prepare a vessel’? You didn’t tell me to prepare a vessel.”
“That should have been obvious! You yourself aren’t here without one!”
I sigh. “Yes I am… sort of. I’m my own vessel.” As she starts to look more and more frustrated and a little confused I continue, “That doesn’t matter, we can talk about it later. Where is she, then? Where would she have gone?”
“Heavens,” Artemis interjects. “Hells?”
“Ah yes, she’s been spirited away to one of the heavens or hells. Wonderful. Do we have any idea which one?” I snap.
“No.”
“Why? Why didn’t you tell me I had to prepare a vessel? Even if Eris didn’t, you should have told me! You’re a normal god or whatever!”
Arty tilts her head at me in confusion, flicking her tails. “Rite.”
“What the hells do you mean, ‘Rite’? What rite?”
“Oh,” Eris says, the horror growing on her face. “Oh no, you… you didn’t. Tell me you didn’t.”
And my former maid simply tilts her head the other way. “What?”
“Alright. I need to be filled in right fucking now. What the hells are you talking about?”
The goddess of strife sighs while rubbing her forehead. “The Rite of Passage. It’s an old, stupid tradition we used to have for new gods – but it’s so barbaric! The dark pantheon banned it hundreds of years ago! Tell me, Artemis… tell me the light pantheon doesn’t still practice it.”
“Do,” is all she says in response.
“Great. So what does that mean?”
“It means, your wife was sent to some random heaven or hell with the expectation that she’ll use her newfound powers to survive, grow stronger, find her own Vessel, and figure out how to return here. Which… considering some of the heavens and hells, is a lot more difficult than it sounds.”
…
…
My gaze slowly slides toward my remaining wife. “Why? Why would you allow this?” I say. Quietly. Dangerously.
“Normal!” she blurts. “Normal, is for godling send, grow!”
…
“Get out.”
She upturns her eyes toward me, the same way she’s done in the past when she wanted me to praise her, though I can tell right now that she’s begging for something very different. Her ongoing confusion makes that clear.
But I’ve had enough.
I’ve had enough.
“I said get out.”
***
So, it turns out that searching the so-called ‘divine planes’ is much more difficult than I’d thought it would be. Even getting entry requires the consent of the god who’s claimed it… if it’s even been claimed.
The unclaimed ones are typically feral, chaotic places lacking any sense of structure, teeming with monsters that are often even a threat to a god.
I need to find her, and fast.
…
Maybe it would be easier to have Artemis take me there, since she can teleport and I can’t… but most of the civilized divine planes at least have their own teleport station, although they still require owner consent.
Of the small few I’ve been able to reach, sending out my kin has been a failed strategy… they simply get slain shortly after leaving the station. It’s even more obvious to me now that humanity and divinity at large consider them to be a blight to be destroyed.
And most likely, me with them.
It’s already obvious to me that I’m not something that was supposed to be here, though I have no idea where I was supposed to be if anywhere.
But I’m here now. I’m here now.
And Izahne isn’t.
…
I absentmindedly check my past System messages again.
[Global message: Be it known to all that the Mantle of (Domains: Darkness, Death, Devotion) has been reclaimed!]
They’re nothing like mine, or even her previous domains when she was my retainer, in addition to being my spouse. I have no idea how that works.
But that doesn’t matter either.
She’s still gone.
The very first thing I’d tried was to reach out through our bond, our link.
And it felt numb.
It felt like something was interfering with it, blocking it partially.
But I can still feel her there.
She’s alive.
She’s still alive, at least.
But I can’t reach her. She doesn’t seem to get anything I try to project through it… that’s being blocked too, as if there’s some kind of barrier surrounding it.
I can… still feel her emotions, though only a little bit. They’re muted down to the faintest inkling.
…
…
I have no idea what to do.
<Wait,> Artemis projects unprompted in the back of my mind. <Trust.>
“Fuck off,” I snap. “This is your fault. And mine, it’s definitely my fault. But really, trust!?How the hells am I supposed to trust you? How am I supposed to trust that you didn’t do this to get rid of her? Don’t pretend I can’t feel how much you envy every night she and I shared our sleeping space, because I absolutely can. So just… just get out of my head.”
Her hurt radiates through our link.
But I don’t care. It doesn’t matter anymore.
The only other god who has betrayed me to this extent is Dolos, and he’s the god of fucking betrayal.
I can’t trust her.
I can’t trust anyone but myself.
…
I should just kill them all.
I SHOULD EAT THEM ALL.
At the thought, I briefly…
…feel something…
…Something wrong.
Something deep…
Shift inside of me.
As if turning over. As if…
As if…
And just as quickly as it came, it stills.
…
“What in the hells was that…?”
***
Vivianne has discontinued her daily reports.
Which is fine. I asked her to stop.
I find it incredibly difficult to care about the lives of the insignificant creatures wandering my plane. They should be satisfied that I allow them to live at all. I’m the one who created them, and I could unmake them all with a thought.
(But you won’t,) Nyx comments
Shut up.
(Fine. But if someone doesn’t speak up, you’re going to undo every bit of progress you’ve made, and I won’t pretend you haven’t worked for it. Nevermind the rabbit, he’ll probably destroy you if you go too far.)
I don’t care.
(You don’t?)
No. It doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe it never did.
(Maybe not to you, but it did to her, and that’s why you won’t throw it away.)
I grit my teeth. I know she’s right.
Izahne would be disappointed. And sad.
I’ve felt enough confusion, pain, and self-disgust from her through our bond.
I won’t add to that. It’s literally all I can do right now… it’s all I can think of to do.
(You could ask Eris for help.)
No.
(Why not? She literally offered to help. You turned her down, but that doesn’t mean-)
NO. She was part of… everything.
(And it wasn’t her fault. You said it yourself – it was yours, and Artemis’.)
That’s… not wrong.
(Yeah. Of course it isn’t. Now get your stupid cloudy ass up and ask her for help.)
I sigh a vast cloud of ash, settling across my throne room.
…Where I float, partially dematerialized.
I can’t sit, after all. I’d destroyed my throne, and the fox’s. They reminded me of what I’d had, and I didn’t want to see it.
I didn’t want to see it, especially now.
The only thing left on the dais now is Pearl. She took Izahne’s disappearance worse than me, probably. After a lot of screaming and struggling to hold her form, she came here, and here she stays.
Right where she always used to stand, next to where my wife always did.
And that’s fine. I don’t care.
…
I haven’t told Orv or Sodaca. Not that I think her mother would care, she’d probably just say ‘good riddance, ungrateful child’ or some other similarly stupidly dismissive… something.
If I know it wouldn’t make Izahne cry, I’d eat her too.
I’d eat everyone.
Everything.
…
…
I have no idea what to do.
With myself, or anything else.
“Heya, pal.”
Before I’ve even turned around to face the intruder, I’ve already cranked my auras to their maximum and hit him with as much Consume as possible.
But of course, he doesn’t even flinch.
“What the fuck do you want, Dolos?”
“Woah, woah. Trus’ me, y’wanna hear what ah have t’say.”
His easygoing smile certainly isn’t reassuring, not in the least.
“And what in the hells could you possibly have to say that I’d want to hear?” I snarl, not letting up my pressure at all.
And he just smiles… and leans on empty air as if it was a wall.
“I paid a li’l visit to an ol’ friend, yeah?”
“Get to the point.”
“I’m gettin’, I’m gettin’! So anyways, where was ah? Oh right! So someone was there, yeah? A familiar face, and from the look o’ her, she really din’ wanna be there.”
…
“YOU WILL TAKE ME THERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW.”
