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Chapter 237 - For the Record
🕑 Added 2025-07-28 12:46:51 +0000 UTCApparently that just means they can’t be fired.
Yeah, that’s it. That’s all. But I guess if some other instructor made a racket about a student, they’d at least face some scrutiny, probably from the headmaster himself.
Not that any of it matters. I don’t trust her one bit, but… wait, no that’s a much better idea. Instead of talking to my supposed patron - however I’d even do that - I could just ask Joy to do it!
“Nah, it’s not his problem. It’s yours.”
I flinch at the sudden voice behind me, a voice I unfortunately recognize.
“Wh-what!?” I blurt at the evil goddess, but she just keeps talking.
“Although he probably would help if you asked him to. Just, don’t. Really. You’re one of mine, which naturally means I’m already keeping tabs on you. Oh, do people still use that phrase? I hope so.”
“We uh. We do.”
“Good, good!” she continues before gripping me bodily by the shoulders and starting to march me down the hallway toward a nearby stairwell. “Also, we need a more thematically appropriate venue, hmm? I sure think so. Oh, and the rabbit really doesn’t like me teleporting around his plane so we’re going to walk. You don’t mind do you? Of course you don’t, no, that was a silly question!”
“I, I-”
“Yeah, a silly question for sure. Up we go!”
After a dozen floors worth of stairs, we’ve not only reached the roof but I’ve actually gotten kind of tired. I didn’t even know we had this many floors here! And the wind is pretty strong but even so, the sound of Nemesis slamming the door open against the wall after barreling right past all the ‘caution’ and ‘do not enter’ signs is still echoing across the courtyard… although if anyone is reacting to it I can’t see far enough to tell. They’re all pretty small down there!
Giving me one final push, my questionable patron walks past me without a care in the plane, finally standing up on the raised stone lip around the flat space and spreading her arms.
“The wind feels nice up here, doesn’t it? I used to come up here with Izzy. Oh, she’s a goddess of death. She’s pretty nice and I bet she’d like you well enough. And my wife! Well, one of them. Not like you care though, I know you well enough. Anyway, I just thought you could use a visitation! Or, uh. A pep talk or something? I don’t know. I’m not that good at the whole ‘leadership’ thing, I have people for that.”
For some reason Olive snorts from her spot on my shoulder, but the demon empress just continues.
“So, yes!” she says with a lopsided grin, “you’re doing alright, keep doing what you’re doing. Uh. Don’t give up, maybe? I won’t let them kick you out, or… well, if they try I’ll either call in some favors from Owyn or maybe just transfer you to my academy instead… although it’d be more fun to keep you as a hero instead of switching you over to a demon lord. No offense, but you aren’t really demon lord material, are you? I mean, think about it. There isn’t an ambitious bone in your body - well, other than maybe getting stronger, eating good food, sleeping a lot, and staying away from Alice! How’s everything going with the two of you anyway?”
Somehow the thought that the headmaster owes her any kind of favors seems dubious at best, but I should probably answer before she tosses me off the building or something.
“She’s, um. Why did you send her? I can do most of that stuff myself, you know.”
“Yes, yes, or make Lyra do it. I know.”
I wince a little.
“I’ve found life a lot simpler when you have a competent attendant or three,” she idly says, “or nine, or several thousand. Eh, who’s counting anyway? They serve me, and that’s what matters.”
…
“That… sounds like an army, I whisper.”
The goddess simply shrugs. “Well, they could be, but I wouldn’t make them do that. You see, kind of my whole thing is just letting people do what they want, unless there’s something specific I want them to do. Sometimes that specific thing is to die! But I digress. What do you think of the academy, or the portal home? Sure, I could just snoop on you like I always do, but it’s more fun to hear it from you directly.”
Her smile looks genuine but I don’t trust it one bit.
…
…
“Oh come on, tell me! I swear I’ll make it worth it. Or, well, as long as you keep being entertaining. Don’t worry though, you’re doing great so far. It’s not like I’d just throw you out anyway, you’re Joy’s friend! Right? Eh? ‘Friends’?”
Yeah, there’s no way that isn’t a prompt, and considering… everything…
“Y-yeah! Sure! Friends, absolutely friends, definitely friends, haha! I even made sure he got a room in the weird house thing!”
Nemesis nods as if it had already been a given, but somehow I don’t trust that either.
“Anyway, I gave you Alice specifically because of my castle maids, she’s the most skilled at using a gorgon’s - or in her case, stheno’s - innate abilities, while also being a competent teacher. Usually I have her training new gorgons around my plane in those arts so they’re less likely to turn visiting adventurers to stone. We already have far too many statues, after all, and it’s not like I can just pretend anyone who dies there will just get resurrected with no consequences. No, when they live in the presence of monsters like them, they need to be prepared with magic items or Skills, or at minimum at least potions. I’d argue if they can’t handle that then they probably should be turned to stone! Or at least not be adventurers, stick to I don't know… baking or smithing or whatever it is humans do when they’re not adventurers.”
“Is that… all you know about mortals? Truly?”
“Nope!” she chirps with an unsettling grin, “but it’s as much as I care right now in this moment.”
And then she starts pacing around the rooftop, finally looking directly at me from time to time and showing her teeth in a carefree expression.
Teeth that are a lot like my own.
“I can’t help but notice that you haven’t answered my questions,” the demon empress warbles with a singsong tone.
“Um. What questions?” I ask, having somehow genuinely forgotten. Hey, you keep everything straight when staring down something like that!
She sighs and our eyes lock. “The. Academy. The. Portal. Home. I asked what you thought of them. Gods, sometimes you’re as bad at listening as- um. As bad as I am!”
“W-well,” I stammer back, “the classes here are kind of… b-boring, and the instructors keep giving me speeches about not trying. But th-that was never an issue before! At the other school, I mean.”
“Yes, yes, I remember the boredom very well myself, some things never change,” she replies, the hostility mercifully melting away from her features. “I’m sure the other students are being awful to you much like they were to me as well, but don’t worry. You’ll run into more friends in time. Maybe literally.”
…
“And the portal home?”
“Ah! Right! The, uh. It’s really… nice? And unexpectedly big. And always very clean?”
She nods as if it were a given and gestures at me to continue, so I do.
“The bath is much better than the river at the forest elf colony thing, but warmer water is better somehow.”
“Well, you’re not really human or even humanlike anymore, technically. You’re far more gorgon than any of that stuff. Your scales are coming in nicely too. Just think, soon you’ll be like my youngest little sister!” she says with a flourish. “I bet Hyperion would like that too, someone else for her to dote on. She’s probably getting tired of killing those big lizard things all the time, but she’s gotten really strong doing it. Even I’ll admit that, and I’m damn strong myself. Plus my own kiddos are growing up, not that Hope actually needed time for that. Oh, and she told me she hates me for the first time last week, even though just like usual she was begging me to pat her head! Gods, it’s so endearing, Pearl’s Ego is really merging in nicely, I bet it’s only a matter of time before they’re done. Anyway, go on. It’s big and clean, and you like the bath, and…?”
“And the bed is huge… the metallic trim on the wall makes my fingers tingle-”
“That’s because it’s a deadly poison, maybe don’t touch it too much. Anyway?”
I shiver but still do as she asks. “And um. Thank you for Alice, I guess? She’s probably too helpful. And a little creepy, why does she always look like she wants to eat me?”
“That’s probably because she does. If they’re not policed, gorgons sometimes eat their young. Don’t worry though, I keep mine well policed, including her.”
“Oh, haha! That’s, um. Very reassuring?” I lie through my teeth.
Nemesis nods again. “I guess that’s enough questions for now. Your reward is, dun dah dah dun! A Class! I made a special one for you, but you still need some more levels to get it. It’ll automatically apply when you get there though so don’t worry.”
And another expectant look.
Huh.
“Um.”
“Well go on, don’t hold back!”
…
…
“Are…”
“Are?”
Her head tilt might actually be cute on someone not innately horrifying.
“Are, um. That’s an academy uniform, right? It looks a little different.”
She nods and then does a little spin as if showing it off. “Yeah, it’s from at least a few hundred years ago. What about it?”
“Then. Um. Are those all food stains?”
“Hey!” she blurts with a faint blush, “you try eating for the first time! Everyone kept giving me messy stuff when I wasn’t even sure how to swallow! You’d get it all over too!”
And then she vanishes in a huff and a puff of ash.
…
…
Leaving me by myself on the roof.
…
I’m going to have to walk all the way back down those stairs, aren’t I?
