Brellom
patreon
Depressed, for lack of a better word...
🕑 Added 2024-11-29 01:47:38 +0000 UTCOrdinarily, I'd leave these complaints on Twitter and let it stew in silence, but this has the potential to drastically impact my career - so I should share it here.
To keep things short:
I'm tired. I'm not good enough. Not enough people care about my work and I do not create anything of genuine, long-term value. I don't see a "point" in creating - it feels like such a waste of time lately.
I'm behind on some work, which should serve as evidence of my exhaustion. Not to mention the gradual simplification of my Patreon experience over time.
I feel like I should give up because I'm not good enough, but I can't because my livelihood depends on this. I'm sick of courting social media, but can't survive operating within an isolated bubble. I don't want to be forced to create shallow artwork for other people, but it's clear that I can't simply create for myself. Also, Patreon has insisted on making my life harder too (with censorship & banning me from advertising on social media) -- and who knows what laws will change moving forward that will affect my career. I feel like I've lost and I'm just slowly watching myself spiral into acceptance until it's too late.
I'm sure many of these feelings aren't a big surprise to those of you who've been here a while, as I echoed similar, albeit less extreme, thoughts in the past.
I still plan to catch up on the work that I've fallen behind on, but I felt that it was important I express these feelings to you, given that it directly impacts my work - and what you're here to support. I don't know if I'll manage to pull myself out of this within a reasonable time frame.
Apologies for souring your holiday mood.
Don't forget to eat & sleep.
Comments
Psudonym
That does sound like depression to me, please talk to someone about it if you can.
gkr
You sound too harsh on yourself. I'm super happy every time a new sketch is publied.
Anthony Docimo
i second this
Anthony Docimo
I second the others here, that you should do what you need, and to rest. we're here for you. also, I'm not sure what you mean by "not enough people care" - how many do you need? i'm serious.
Calsetes
I'll always support you for as long as I'm able to, and anything I can do to help just let me know. It's always good to vent, too.
DoubleAC
It's always good to vent. Life currently sucks with what's going on. If you need a break you should take it.
Shawn Heatherly
If you need time, please take care of yourself.
Violet Rose in The Dark
It's rough trying to survive right now. I feel you.
Sororitas Cupid
Feel free to step away. You absolutely have to take care of yourself first. I just ask that you let me and other patrons keep your account active to keep supporting you as best we can.
Couchpotato22
I feel ya.
